30. Lucas
Lucas
The limo ride back to the hotel was painful.
I was sure my dad was still going to fire Shane.
It was just going to be after tomorrow. I was worried.
I guess a part of me always thought they were making empty threats.
To see them this angry made those threats seem much more like distinct possibilities.
They wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say when I tried to defend any of my actions.
They were clearly furious that I had disobeyed them.
I gave up after I tried to argue that being with Cam had actually helped me with my gymnastics. They didn’t believe it. There was nothing I could do but let them ruin everything. As much as I hated to let it happen, since the fallout would hurt me too, whatever happened now was on them.
“You’re moving into our hotel suite.”
“What?! Are you kidding me?”
“Does it sound like I’m kidding, Lucas? You’ll get your things as soon as you can and be back at our hotel tonight.”
“Completely change my entire routine from the last couple of weeks? Sounds like a recipe for success.”
“You’re not spending one more night in that dormitory,” my mother chimed in.
“Neither of you can stand that I disobeyed you, can you? I knew it. This is all about power.” I threw my hands in the air.
“This is about what is best for our son,” my father declared.
“You’ve never done what’s best for me, just what works for you.” My hands were clenched at my side. “Hell, you didn’t even want to come, remember?”
“You’ll do as we say-”
“Or what? You’ll stop paying for shit?”
“Don’t you talk to us that way. We raised you better than that.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her. How could she support this? Him I almost understood, but her?
“You must end things with Camden. It’s your decision. Plain and simple.”
I felt my heart crack a little. I didn’t know what to say to them.
I hadn’t looked at my phone. I couldn’t. I got on the elevator and pushed the six and took some deep breaths.
I knew Cam would be there with Ty, and when I saw the worry on both their faces, I lost it. Cam rushed forward, enclosing me in his arms. I attempted to muffle my sobs with his chest. I could tell it wasn’t working very well.
“I’m here, Luke. I’m not going anywhere.” He was trying to soothe me with little words and sounds. I felt his fingers brushing my hair. “Shhh. It’ll be okay.”
I started to regain composure after a few minutes in his arms. I pulled back a little and wiped my eyes with my knuckles. I tried to smile as Ty handed me a tissue. “Thanks.”
“Whatever you need, Luke.”
I felt the lump return to my throat. These two guys were the best friends I could ask for, which made it even worse. I turned to my closet. If I had to do this, it had to be quick. I got my suitcase.
“What are you doing?” Cam asked.
“I’m staying with my parents starting tonight. They don’t want me here anymore.”
“Seriously, bro?”
I nodded to Ty, avoiding looking at Cam’s face. I knew this would hurt him.
“They...can’t do that,” Cam finally said.
I started grabbing clothes and stuffing them in the suitcase. I pulled my phone charger from the wall. It only took a few seconds to gather my things from the bathroom. I came back out and saw Ty and Cam whispering.
“Whatever you’re thinking, it won’t work. You don’t know them.”
“We could talk to Coach?” Ty suggested.
“I want to get through tomorrow and then maybe we can figure something out. It just has to be this way for now.”
I heard the quiver in Cam’s voice before he said, “Is this it, then?”
And I broke. I looked at him, and when I saw his face, I saw the fear. He was crying, and then it was my turn to rush him. I heard Ty excuse himself and go into the hallway.
“We’ll figure this out, I promise,” I said. I had no idea how, but I didn’t want to lose him.
“This is crazy,” he said, between sobs. “They can’t do this.”
I pulled back and held his face in my hands. “This isn’t the end. It’s just...a pause.”
“A pause?”
“Until I...until we figure it out.”
Cam nodded, wiping his nose with his sleeve. His cheeks were pink. “Gotta clean myself up if this is going to be it for a while. Can’t have a magical ‘see you later’ kiss with puffy eyes.” He tried to smile.
I held back tears and kissed him. When our lips met this time, they transported me to another place.
One where my anxiety, stress and concern melted away.
I could feel the urgency from Cam. I didn’t want it to end either.
His arms travelled from my waist to my arms and eventually to the back of my head, so he could run his fingers through my hair.
I knew it was one of his favorite things to do with my body, so I followed suit and grabbed his butt.
If this was it for a while, I wanted to savor it.
A groan escaped Cam’s lips and brought me back to reality.
My negative feelings came creeping back.
As much as I wanted to take it further, it would be easier if we didn’t.
“I should go.”
“If you have to.”
“I think I do. For now.”
Cam nodded and leaned forward for one last kiss. Just a second. Lips on lips.
“I’ll text you later,” he said, and I grabbed my suitcase and left.
Ty was right there. “Hey, bro.”
“Take care of him for me.”
“Can do, buddy.”
I smiled and said, “Thanks.” And he pulled me in for a hug.
“But who’s going to take care of you?” Ty asked.
Shane and Woodward were doing their best to give me a pep talk. I already missed out on a medal for parallel bars, coming in fourth. With one event left, they were doing their best, but I couldn’t get the last twenty-four hours out of my head.
Last night, I purposely avoided my parents, relying on a protein bar for dinner, and I slept like shit. Not a surprise, since I was in a strange room in a strange bed and Cam wasn’t in it.
We hadn’t texted late into the night like I wanted to either. I knew he didn’t want to keep me up, but I could see he wasn’t sleeping either. His profile was still active. I knew he was awake. And he knew I was. And still we weren’t texting. I should’ve texted him. And this was why I couldn’t-
“Focus, Luke,” Shane said. “You have one more chance. I know you can do it.”
Woodward was over with Grant. He and I were the last two to perform for the team. The high bar was next. I wasn’t hopeful. I was better on parallel bars and hadn’t medaled.
“Luke, you’ve gotta take advantage of this. You’re at the Olympics. There are only seven other guys. You only have to do better than five of them to medal. I know you can do it.”
“You’re already said that,” I teased.
“There he is,” Shane replied. “Come on, Luke. Get psyched. Let’s go.”
I felt the coin in my pocket. Somehow, Cam had slipped my platypus coin into my things when I packed up my room. I had taken it on impulse that morning. If it had any luck, I needed it.
I knew I didn’t have it. My first release and I was falling. I saw the bar ahead of me and then above me. I saw Shane out of the corner of my eye dashing towards me, and I heard the crowd’s gasps. The cynical part of me took over. I knew this was what would happen.
It’s all fucked now.
Face down, my body slammed into the floor. There wasn’t time to brace. My breath was taken from me and the pain was sharp. I felt Shane’s hand on my back as the crowd was silent. “Can you move?” he asked, kneeling beside me.
I took a quick breath. “I can move,” I answered, pulling my arm back to push myself up. The crowd started applauding politely. Before he could ask, I said, “I’m going to do it again.”
Shane nodded, and we reset under the bar. I knew my body. I was fine. He lifted me up, and I started again. And this time I didn’t fall. It would’ve been my best routine.
Except the fall counted, and I came in eighth.
Grant did spectacularly and came in second.
Another silver for the team. It was the best the American men had done at the Olympics in years.
Decades, according to Shane. He sat with me on the sidelines as we watched Grant’s ceremony.
I looked up in the audience to see my parents had already left.
Graham was standing with his sister and parents.
And I could see Cam between his mom and Ty.
I felt Shane’s arm around me and he said, “It’s been a pleasure coaching you, Luke.” I swallowed and looked at him. He had a serious expression on his face, and I knew this wasn’t a conversation for the public. “See you in a minute,” he said, heading to the locker room.
I quickly made the rounds to the other athletes to offer my congratulations.
“It’s best if we keep this brief, Luke. Your parents are terminating my contract as of this evening.
They gave us today. And I’m sure they haven’t changed their mind.
” I nodded, knowing that if anything my performance hardened their resolve.
“Hopefully, we can stay in touch, but I’m not so sure with the things I’ve heard them say. ”
I knew if I tried to talk, I was going to lose it again and I wanted to stay strong for Shane. He was the one losing his job. I kept my head down, sitting on the bench next to him.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Plenty of budding gymnasts to coach. Goodbye, Luke,” he said, hugging me before standing up. “I meant it. You can do it. And I’ll be watching you, cheering you on, wherever I am.”
“Call me, Shane. We’ll talk. When you get the chance,” Woodward said.
“I...thank you, Shane. You’ve been a great-,” I tried to speak, but I couldn’t get the words out.
“I know, kiddo. See you around.” And he was gone.
Woodward left me to cry, but not before saying, “Come see me in the office before you head out.”
I was grateful he was giving me some time to calm down and shower.
I knew I’d feel better after that. Grant came in while I was just getting my hair wet.
He gave me a small smile. He said more by saying nothing.
Besides the running water, the only sounds were my congratulations and his thanks.
My life had splintered the team, and I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him.
I wanted him to enjoy his medal. He’d find out soon enough.
I knocked on the door and Coach Woodward told me to come in.
“Luke, I know you’ve been through a lot, and I won’t pretend I know everything about it, but I want you to know that I support you in whatever this is. I don’t work for your parents. I, frankly, don’t care for your parents. My athletes are my priority.”
“Thanks, Coach. That means a lot.”
“It sounds complicated. Whatever ultimatums or requirements they’ve placed on you. If you ever feel you need somewhere to go or stay, my kids are all out of the nest and my wife and I have a big place up in the mountains. I don’t want you to think you have nowhere to turn.”
“I would never want to be a burden.”
“You could never be that, Luke. And if it’s sponsorships or deals you want, I have contacts. I can help with all that too.”
“I’ll...I’ll keep that in mind, Coach. Thanks.”
“Alright, I wanted you to know that I’m here and I’m not only a coach, but a friend.”
I had to smile. “You’d be, like, my oldest friend.”
“But, still a friend, Luke.” He stood, offering me his hand.
I shook it and headed out, wondering if my parents would be with the other families in the usual place.
“It’s over!” I screamed at my parents during the ride back to the hotel. They had dragged me away in front of everyone. It was embarrassing as hell, and they hadn’t cared.
“Well, good. It’s what caused this whole mess to begin with.”
“This whole mess?” I asked.
“Yes, your poor performance today,” my mom answered for him.
“Well, if you two had paid attention to the games at all, you’d have noticed I didn’t start sucking until you got here and messed everything up.”
My dad’s arms flailed some more. “Are you trying to tell us fooling around with some guy helped you?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. And he’s not some guy, it’s Cam.”
“And that makes it different?”
I wanted to say ‘Yes’ but I didn’t answer her. My face must’ve given it away though because I heard my dad’s laughter, before he said, “Por favor no, you think you’re in love?”
“No, no, no, mijo. You cannot confuse this with love. You’re nineteen.” She added, “You don’t know what love is.”
Staring at them and with as much malice as I could summon into my voice, I said, “I certainly don’t.”