1. Tyler
Tyler
A month after the Brisbane Olympics
SAN JOSE
“Why do you keep fidgeting with your phone?”
“I’m not fidgeting.”
“You’re fidgeting, Ty.”
“So what if I am, Quinn?”
My best girl friend rolled her eyes at me from across the table. “Not gonna lie. Insecurity makes you better looking.”
“Funny you should say that. I’m actually deciding whether or not to text someone.”
“Someone?” she asked.
She wasn’t just cute. She was smart too. Sometimes annoyingly so. But she was my best friend and it was about time I told her about my recent sexual epiphany.
“So…remember the Olympics?”
“How could I forget, doof. That time you went to Australia and won two bronze medals? It was last month.”
I ignored her and tried to think of how to explain it.
“Did you finally hook up with Luke?”
“What?! No!” I heard how much shriek was in my voice, so I took a breath before replying. “Why would you ask me that?”
She shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. You’re obviously thinking about texting a guy, otherwise you would’ve said ‘chick’ earlier.
He’s been your bro for years. He’s gay. He’s hot.
” I watched her count on her fingers. “It’s not much of a stretch to think something happened, especially at the Olympics.
Everyone’s heard about all the condoms.”
“Well, you’re close, but it didn’t go as far as hooking up, and it wasn’t Luke. His name’s Declan Moore.”
“Oooh, Declan. Sounds like a hunky firefighter who just pulled me out of my burning apartment. Oh no. Where did my top go? It was burned off in the fire but, luckily, my brawny rescuer is taking his shirt off to wrap around my shivering-”
“He’s a decathlete, Quinn. But points for creativity.”
She smiled, then brought her fingertips together in front of her chin. “And how did you come upon this gentleman’s phone number?”
After I told her we met in the Olympic village, Quinn begged me for the entire story, so I explained all of it.
Not that there was much. He recognized me in the cafeteria and then I couldn’t form a coherent sentence, and then I caught him in my arms by the pool and after a brief, slightly less stuttery conversation, he gave me his number.
“And you haven’t texted him yet? It’s been what? Like a month?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“God, men are such…men sometimes. Start with hello. Go from there.”
Tyler: Hi.
“What did you just text?”
“I texted hello. Well, hi.”
“That’s it?”
I restrained myself from throwing my phone at her. “That’s what you told me to start with!”
“Does he even have your number? Maybe introduce yourself.”
Tyler: It’s Ty.
Tyler: Tyler.
Tyler: Tyler Hale.
“What about now?”
“Fuck, dude, this is bad.” I held out my phone for her to take as I pounded my head on the table. Her laughter said it all.
“Oh my sweet bi Ty. Wait. Are you bi or are you gay?”
I paused my head pounding, but didn’t pick my head up to answer. “Likely bi, though Luke says it’s a sliding scale.” I lifted my head up to say, “I’m apparently in the middle somewhere.”
“Mmm, I can see that.”
“You can?”
“I don’t know. You’ve got super chill parents. You have four brothers and all of them are straight. Statistically, one of the five of you wasn’t. Now we know. It’s you.”
“Back to more pressing matters”—I gestured to the phone—“can you save my dignity with Declan?”
I waited patiently while she typed a message, then handed it back to me.
Tyler: How have things been since Brisbane? Are you back in California?
“How’d you know he’s in California?”
“This thing called Google, Ty.”
Duh.
Our food came and while I started my salad, I asked, “So, what do I do if he texts?”
“Hmm, maybe have a conversation? What have you done with girls all these years?”
“I guess they kind of talked most of the time.”
“Of course you’d say that, you pig.”
“Oink oink.”
“You’re ridiculous and still fidgeting with your phone. Put it down!” She slapped my hand. “You’re gonna accidentally send him a dick pic or something.”
I placed my phone gently next to my napkin and shrugged. “Maybe he’d like it?”
“I’d wait until at least the third date for that.”
“Don’t get me excited. We don’t even know where he is.”
“His Insta says he was in Long Beach three days ago,” Quinn replied quickly.
“Road trip?”
“Reality check, Ty. That’s what a stalker would do.”
“You’re the one on his Instagram.”
“And that’s where I’ll be for the next fifteen minutes, counting his abs.”
I took a moment to remember the little garment that barely covered his body at the village pool. “I know, right?”
“Not gonna lie, this is kind of a strange experience, discussing a guy’s body with you. Don’t get me wrong, I support your sexual awakening, and will definitely help you however I can, but this changes things for us.”
Not what I need to hear right now. “In a good way?” I crossed my fingers and my toes.
“In the best fucking way possible! We can check out guys together. How fucking sweet is that? I just kept my mouth shut before because I didn’t want to hurt your ego."
“I’m not buying it. I don’t even know how to spell ego.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. I certainly won’t if Declan asks me about you.”
“I thought I told you not to get me excited.”
“Oh, fuck me!”
“What?”
She turned her phone to show me Declan. Shirtless. Wearing shockingly low athletic shorts. I stared, mesmerized by the 'V' and the veins disappearing into the fabric below his belly button. “Either he waxes, shaves, or has little to no body hair.”
“Who are you? The Nancy Drew of body grooming?”
“Well, if we aren’t talking to him yet, there’s no harm in ogling him.”
“We?”
“Who else have you got to guide you through the ways of luring a man?”
“I think I lured him just fine. And I can call Luke.”
“Mm-hmm."
"Fine. Tell me all your secrets, which don't work because you're still single."
“Wow, Ty. I may be single now, but I know how to date a guy. Do you?”
Fair point. “Fine. Lay it on me.”
September
“What happened?” Quinn asked.
“He tried to lick my ear.”
“That’s good, Ty. That means a guy likes you.”
“I don’t know, dude. I found it skeevy.”
“A lot of guys are aggressive, Ty. And since you’re so fucking hot and have the clueless face of an angel, they’re going to be all over you. What’s this? Like the fourth one to hit on you tonight?”
“Let’s just go home. I’m not ready yet.”
Declan never messaged me. I sent a few more texts, but even I didn’t need Quinn to tell me they screamed desperation.
After Brisbane, I took a little break from gymnastics. Not the working on my muscles part of it, but the apparatus parts. Earlier this week, however, I was back at it. Quinn and I both went to San Jose State and our last semester was about to start, which meant we were also coaches again.
Last year, my dad’s connections had given us the heads up about an opportunity at a small private school close to campus, Sierra Hills Academy.
They didn’t have a large program, but they had a shit ton of money, and we could use the equipment as often as we wanted as long as it didn’t interfere with our coaching sessions or any of the other sports.
San Jose State had all I needed, but the Academy’s equipment was nicer and not having to schedule my training around the rest of the team’s was a blessing.
I asked Coach Woodward if he’d continue to help me after Brisbane, so every week I made sure to send him a video with a few of my routines in it for feedback.
His response would always include a plan for the week.
I was grateful he was willing to help me.
My family wasn’t poor, but I still couldn’t afford a personal coach, and I wouldn’t ask them to pay for one either.
Luckily, gymnastics had earned me a full ride to college, and the job at Sierra Hills paid enough that I could afford a life: groceries, Netflix, a little fun at the bars every now and then, and the nice apartment close-ish to campus that I shared with Quinn.
Quinn and I met in middle school and became fast friends.
Gymnasts weren’t growing on trees or anything, so we found each other quickly and had been close ever since.
She was pretty much the girl version of Luke.
I’d flirt and have fun with her, but never once had we thought about crossing the friendship line.
There wasn't a glaring reason; we just made more sense as friends.
Looking back, I guess I should’ve read into the whole flirting with Luke thing, but oh well. Here I was, struggling to fit into the gay scene. Is that what I should call it?
I didn’t even know what to call it.
Quinn and I had decided that even without a response from Declan, I should try to figure out where I was on Luke’s scale of sexuality.
Initially, I was disappointed about Declan, and my eyes meandered longingly through his Instagram profile every few weeks - fuck, I even jacked it to his shirtless posts a few times - but eventually, I decided it could be fun to explore this new part of me.
Could was the operative word there. Lately, it had become frustrating. The opposite of fun.
None of my interactions felt at all like the few times I spoke to Declan. And maybe I was putting him on a pedestal, but even flirting with Luke came more naturally than talking to random bar bros.
After I showered my sweat and the smoke of the club off, I pulled on a pair of sweats, crashed on the couch, and fired up the Roku.
Time for my guilty pleasure show, Keeping Up Appearances.
As the son of a librarian and a high school math teacher-turned-principal, PBS had been a childhood staple.
Hyacinth Bucket, pronounced 'bouquet', was a perfect distraction.
“Jesus, Ty. Warn a girl before you poke her eyes out with those things.”
“You’ve seen me shirtless a thousand times, Q.”
“Yeah,” she said, sliding in beside me, “but man, they got some pump in them today.” Her hand barely covered my pec as she squeezed it like the orange in the produce section she thought it was.
“Checking for freshness?”
“Still can’t believe you’re real sometimes, you know that? Oh for fuck’s sake, not this show again.”
“What? It’s my comfort show. I need it. I didn’t ask to be licked. My ear needs it.”
“My ears can’t stand her voice. I don’t know how it soothes you.”
“Well, you can sympathize with her neighbors, Elizabeth and Emmett, and I’ll be over here enjoying myself.”
She muttered, “Can’t do that with another guy, apparently.”
“I’m trying, dude. I can’t help it if everyone sucks.”
“You’re not even giving them a chance to suck.” She elbowed me in the stomach, trying to make me smile at her joke, which of course, I did.
But really it made me think of Declan on his knees, pulling the waistband of my sweats down. My cock would pop up, slapping him on the chin and he would laugh, give me a big smile, and open wide-
“You missed it. It’s your favorite part of the episode and you didn’t laugh.”
“What? Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”
She scooted to the other end of the couch. “Judging from your sweats, I know what you were thinking about. Or should I say who?”
“Fuck.” I hadn’t noticed, but should’ve. “Sorry.”
She sighed. “It’s not like I haven’t seen ‘The Tent’ before.”
I hadn’t realized she named it, but it’s not like I could control that. All this guy talk lately had me horned up. I was jacking it almost twice a day, and still, shit like this happened.
My ringtone filled the room, so I paused the show.
“Who is it?”
I glanced at the screen before answering. “Luke. This may take a while.”
“Hey, bro. What’s up?”
Covering the phone, I told her I’d be back and she could watch whatever, then headed to my room. It sounded like Luke might be crying.
“Are you okay, Luke?”
“No.”
He was barely audible. I laid on my stomach across the bed and pressed the phone harder against my ear, checking the volume in the process.
“I miss him so much, Ty.”
He needed to reach out to his ex, Cam, in any form, or Erika, Cam’s best friend, for that matter, or just write his feelings down as a release.
I had suggested as much, but he was bound tightly in the fear of his parents and the regret of his decision to leave Cam and their relationship behind.
Based on past conversations, I knew he didn’t need to hear that again.
It hadn’t worked before and it wouldn’t work now.
He just needed someone to listen, so that’s what I did.
After maybe ten or so minutes, he came around and started asking questions about my life.
He laughed a little at my lack of progress with dudes, so that made me feel good.
If I couldn’t get a laugh out of him, then it would’ve been really bad.
But that got me thinking, and before I could run it through the rest of my brain, I just blurted it out.
“You wanna come out here for the holidays?”
“You mean it?”
“Of course, bro. I haven’t seen you since Brisbane. It’ll be great. My family would love to see you. We can go to all the zoos you want. You can watch me fail at picking up guys. Quinn says I’m picky.”
“You are picky!” she yelled, through the door.
“See, Quinn agrees with me.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure, Luke.” I paused. “I think it would be good for you.”
I heard him take a deep breath. “Yeah, I think it could be good for me too.”