18. Lucas
Lucas
A gasp startled me awake. I noticed the seat next to me was empty. Noah wasn’t there anymore and Shane wasn’t back yet, but as my vision cleared, I could see someone in the doorway.
Cam’s mother, Heather.
She rushed over to the bed, followed by a nurse. She ran her fingers through his hair and clutched at her collar. I stood up, unsure if I should stay or go.
“When will he wake up?” she asked the nurse.
“The doctor took him off the sedatives a few hours ago, so it should be sometime today. He’ll be thirsty when he wakes up and he’ll likely have some throat pain, so just press this button when he does.
And I’m sure he’ll want to talk, but for these kinds of patients we recommend this for a few days, so the throat can rest.”
She handed Heather a notepad and a pen.
“Thank you. Nurse…?”
“Judy, ma’am.”
“Thank you very much, Judy.” The nurse left. Heather continued to stare at Cam. I wasn’t sure she even noticed me.
“How long have you been here, Luke?”
“As soon as I heard, Mrs. Kane.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and ignored the twelve text messages and five missed calls. “About ten hours.”
“I told you, you can call me Heather.”
“Sorry...Heather.”
She finally looked at me. “Are you sure I’m the one you need to say sorry to?”
“Yeah.” I scoffed, walking over to stand next to her. “I’m guessing he told you.”
“He didn’t have to. I figured it out.”
I looked at her, trying to read her mind. I didn’t have to try very hard. She opened her arms, and I gladly accepted her hug. After a few seconds, she pulled away from me and smiled.
“For his sake and yours, say what’s on your mind and in your heart. Every moment is a gift,” she said, her expression growing somber. “And it can all be taken away too quickly.”
She grabbed Cam’s hand and clasped it between hers, a single tear running down her left cheek. She broke the silence a minute later, when she asked, “Is anyone else here? Did they all leave?”
“Noah was here when I fell asleep, but I’m not sure where he went.”
“He went to get some breakfast for you, and he’s glad he brought an extra coffee.”
“Noah!” Heather shouted, as she ran over to embrace him.
I grabbed a few of the items from his hands so he didn’t drop anything.
Noah caught Heather up on what had happened, and everything the doctors and nurses had said to him so far.
I raided the food that Noah had gathered, scarfing down an egg and sausage biscuit and a cinnamon roll.
I’m sure I’d regret it later, but I didn’t want to leave the room to look for something else.
I grabbed a cup from the bathroom to fill with tap water.
Noah and Heather continued chatting as they drank their coffees and ate the rest of the food. I had completely forgotten about team practice, but it would be over shortly. I’m sure I had a text from Woodward, but maybe he understood.
A doctor came and took Heather and Noah away to discuss some test results or something, so I moved my chair closer to Cam at his bedside, next to the window.
It was a spectacular room. You could actually see Big Ben across the river.
I looked down at him, wanting to touch his beautiful face, sleeping peacefully, but I restrained myself from doing so.
I had to know if he still wanted that first.
I felt a tickle on my hand. And then a pull.
I must’ve dozed off again. I flickered my eyes open, adjusting to the brightness and noticed two sky-blue eyes staring at me, and a firm hand grasping my index finger.
“You’re awake!”
He nodded and rubbed at his throat.
“Wh-” He tried to talk. “Ho-”
“Shhhh. The dorm caught on fire last night. You inhaled a lot of smoke. They said your throat would be irritated.”
“How ba-?”
“Don’t talk!” I half-shouted. “Use this.” I had to reach over him to get the pen and paper from the side table. I felt my shirt ride up, revealing my stomach, and then a tickle. It startled me, and I pulled back to see Cam smiling.
Did he touch me?
He took the pen and pad and tried to write, but struggled with the IV sticking out of his hand. I helped him untangle himself. After a second, he held the pad out to me.
You’re here.
“Yeah.” I tried not to blush.
Anyone else?
I wanted to ask if I wasn’t enough, but I didn’t think I should be that playful yet. “Your mom and Noah just went to talk to the doctor.”
He turned the pad around to write the next message.
My Mom’s here?
I nodded. He leaned back and ran his hand through his hair.
“Speaking of, they said to push this button when you woke up.” I went to push it, but Cam grabbed my hand, stopping me. He shook his head. I paused, somewhat surprised, and withdrew my hand slowly from his grasp. I waited for his furious writing to end and the notepad to turn.
Just sit next to me already, so I don’t have to keep flipping this fucking thing back and forth.
Bossy Cam.
I smiled and took a seat next to him on the bed. He wiggled over to give me a little space, but our bodies were still touching. I couldn’t help but relax into the warmness of him.
How bad is it?
“The doctors don’t really know. You were in an oxygen chamber thingy for a while, and you’re still on oxygen now. Noah said it’s all precautionary. He said you had a chest x-ray, and they looked down your throat for...stuff. They didn’t find anything super bad.”
Cam sighed and wrinkled his eyebrows.
I hope I can still compete.
“Me too.”
I’m thirsty.
I grabbed him some water from the side of the bed. They had brought him a pitcher, but I didn’t want to steal from that earlier for breakfast. I handed him his cup.
Thanks.
“Ooh...one handed now.”
He punched my shoulder with his free hand.
I’m an Olympic gymnast. I think I can handle it.
“Okay, okay. I retract my sarcasm.”
Good.
Now was as good a time as any. “Cam...I...I need to tell you something.”
His face turned to look at me, and I knew I wasn’t imagining the hope there. The anticipation.
“When I heard you were in the hospital, my heart…” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to continue. “My heart broke. I felt like I lost you all over again. I had no idea what happened to you or if you were okay. I needed to se-”
“Cam Cam!”
His mother screamed from the doorway, and Noah was right behind her. I quickly stood up, pretending like I hadn’t been reclining next to Cam on his bed. She ran over to her son and wrapped him in a hug. Noah got one too.
“Why didn’t you tell us he was awake?” she turned to me.
I started to explain when I saw Cam tug at his mom’s sleeve. She turned to him.
I told him not to.
“But why, honey?”
And then my sweet, perfect Cam blushed. I hadn’t seen that color on him in a while, and man, I had missed it. She seemed to think about it and leaned down to whisper something in his ear. He wrote something I couldn’t see, and she nodded.
“Does your throat hurt? I’m guessing that’s why you’re writing?”
Cam nodded.
“Okay, sweetie. Well, I’m pushing this button now and we’re getting a doctor in here to look at you. Maybe he can give you something for your throat.”
“Well, your throat looks good, Mr. Kane,” the doctor said, as he pulled out his scope-whatever-it-was from Cam’s throat, “but I’m going to prescribe a precautionary anti-inflammatory and keep you on an antibiotic for now.
You can use cough drops to help with a sore throat, and if a cough persists, regular cough syrup is fine. ”
Cam nodded.
“I have a few other recommendations as well,” he continued.
“Whatever you do, don’t yell, and please try to limit how much you talk, especially these first few days.
Honestly, anything that could irritate your throat, I would avoid - smoke, exhaust, hard foods, those sorts of things.
If you do have to go outside for long periods of time, use this,” he said, pulling out a white facemask.
“I’d also get a humidifier for the room you sleep in and eating foods with antioxidants, vitamin C, or ginger can also help. I know this is a lot, so I’ve written it all down for you here. There’s also some breathing exercises as well which can help your lungs return to their full capacity.”
Do you think I can still compete?
“I do. Like I said, everything we did was precautionary to give you the best chance at fully healing in the fastest and best way possible. You can also add a nasal spray on there as well.”
Cam wrote that down in the pamphlet the doctor gave him.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Heather said.
“When do you think he can leave?” Noah asked.
“We’re just waiting on one more test result, but if that’s clear, it could be as early as today.”
“Well, that sounds good, honey.”
What test result?
“We took a few samples from your lungs and throat. Just making sure they are clear and healthy.”
Okay, thanks.
“Let me know if you need anything else. Or just push the button and a nurse will be here, quick as a flash.”
“Thanks again, doc,” Noah said.
“Well, that sounds great, Cam,” Heather added.
Cam smiled at his mother, then looked at me and then back at his mother, raising his eyebrows.
Heather cleared her throat as she and Noah made a move for the door, and then chaos erupted.
It was like the scene in Home Alone when the entire family comes home and interrupts that delicate moment Kevin is having with his mother in the foyer.
Ty was there. Alex, O, and Colton all poured in. Coach and Ford and...Cassandra. Fuck.
She looks pissed.
“Lucas, we need to talk,” she said, still standing in the hallway.
“No!” I heard myself yelling. Everyone in the room turned to look at me. I felt slightly embarrassed, but I didn’t have the chance to say what I needed to say yet. I couldn’t let her drag me out of there.
“I’m not here to get you. I’m here to let you go,” she said, wheeling my suitcase into view.
What? I was confused.
I slowly stood up and joined her in the hall. We were alone.
“I’m not blind, Luke.” She lowered her voice. “You still love him. It’s obvious. I don’t want to be a part of keeping you away from that anymore. You had me worried sick this morning. I had no idea what happened to you. I had to wait for Woodward to tell me.”
Her words shocked me. “You were?” was all I managed to say.
“I’ll admit, looking back, I was a bitch at times.”
Apparently, I didn’t hide my smile well enough.
“I know, I know. Ha ha. At first, I was a hardass because your parents were paying me to do a job. I was trying my best, but the longer I did it, the more something felt off. It wasn’t really until this past year that I realized you were more than a job, and I liked myself less because of what I, on behalf of your parents, was doing to you.
And this morning, when you weren’t there, I panicked.
And then I found out why, and this just made sense to me. I can’t be your coach anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say, Cassandra. I-”
“You don’t have to say anything, Luke. You’re an Olympic gold medalist and I know you’re going to win a few more this week.
But I want to give you one last piece of advice.
You’re stronger than you think. In the gym, and in life.
I know you can stand up to your parents.
It’ll be hard, but it’s the right thing for you to do.
And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize I should stand up to them as well. ”
I felt the tears welling in my eyes. “I’m sorry it took this long for me to realize what I needed to do, too. Despite what’s happened between us, I made it to the Olympics and earned that medal with you as my coach. Are you sure you have to quit?” I felt the first tear roll down.
“I think it’s for the best right now. I’m sure your parents will fire me anyway, and that’s totally okay and not your fault. This is all on them, Luke. Maybe in time, who knows?”
“You called me Luke,” I observed, sniffling.
“Well, I figured I don’t have to be super professional anymore. Honestly, you feel more like a little brother to me than anything else.” She shrugged. “I hope you can find happiness. Even if it ends up being without your parents.”
“Thank you. That...means a lot,” I said, wiping my face dry.
“And if you need anything, I’ll be around. Just text me, though I have a feeling they might shut your phone off. I...uh...told them you were AWOL. I can probably give you a few hours, but I’m going to have to tell them I found you. And that I quit.”
“It’s okay. I’ll text them myself soon, either way,” I said, glancing back in the room at Cam, surrounded by our team.
“I packed your stuff,” she said, gesturing to the suitcase.
“I noticed. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I figured you wouldn’t want to come back to the hotel, anyway. I’m sure you’re hoping for something else. Hint, hint.”
“Got it.” I laughed. “Wait! You packed everything?”
“Once Woodward told me what happened, I knew what you’d do. You wouldn’t want to leave his side if you could help it. I’ve spent almost four years with you, Luke. And you’re gay, not a saint. I’ve seen a dildo before.”
My mouth dropped open and my neck grew hot. “So, you got everything,” I squeaked out.
She laughed. “Some of it, I’ll admit, was new to me.”
“Okay, okay. That’s enough. I’m throwing it all out now.”
“Does Andrew Christian make women’s underwear?” she asked.
“I get it. You were thorough. I’m not surprised by that at all. But this big sister thing is going to take some getting used to.”
“Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.”
I gave her a hug. The first one I actually wanted to give her. No cameras around at all. We went back into Cam’s room to join the others.
Colton was standing next to Cam, reenacting carrying him down the stairs. Heather was talking to Coach. I guess Shane returned at some point because he was whispering to Noah. Alex and O were over at the window, looking at the view with Ford.
As soon as I got far enough into the room that Cam could see me, his eyes met mine.
I saw Colton notice and stop talking, turning to look at me, but I continued to stare at Cam.
He had waited long enough. I didn’t care if everyone else in the room heard.
I cleared my throat, but saw Cam tug on Colton’s jacket.
He wrote something on the notepad and showed it to Colton.
Colton stood up. “Alright, everybody, clear out. Cam wants to rest and he can’t do that with y’all jabbering away in here.”
“Oh Cam Cam, that’s probably for the best. I’ll be right outside,” Heather said. “Hopefully, the test results come back soon.”
I stood, rooted to the floor in shock. That was it. He didn’t want me here. I took a step towards the door, but was jerked backward a moment later. I turned to see Colton had grabbed my wrist.
“Not you, cowboy. You stay.” He winked, and ushered the last of everyone out, just before he closed the window blinds to the hallway. He gave me a quick thumbs up as the door shut.
I turned to see Cam holding the notepad out. I walked closer to read it.
You were saying?