7. Lucas
Lucas
Shane’s hand hadn’t left my shoulder since he carried me off the mat. I was so thankful for him. He helped break my fall too. He was the best coach and an even better friend.
It had all happened so fast. Looking back, it felt like my body just stopped working.
The bolt of pain that traveled across my chest seized my entire body up so quickly that I let go of both rings and just dropped.
It didn’t matter that I was eight feet off the ground.
I didn’t even think about that. All I could do was clutch uselessly at my chest with my right hand.
On the phone, I put on a front for Cam that he probably saw through, but I was fairly confident I was not competing in the Olympics this time. And more than likely, any future ones.
If Cam and I were specialists, we could've made one more, maybe two. Maybe more? After all, there was a thirty-nine-year-old gymnast from Bulgaria competing in the rings in what would be his sixth Olympics. But we were all-arounders, and that took more of a toll on the body.
Case in point.
Woodward was here too, pacing back and forth in front of us.
He had been on the phone with someone earlier.
Shane was sitting with me on the examination table, helping me hold an ice pack to my chest. The pain was still there, but not searing like it was at first. I could already see bruising peeking out from behind the pack.
I think Cassandra had stayed behind to finish training with the team.
There was a knock at the door. I looked up, hopeful it was Cam, as Woodward opened the door.
“Hello there. Sorry to keep you waiting. It’s been a busy day. Let’s take a look at your chest.”
After struggling through several failed attempts, it was obvious I couldn’t pull my training tank over my head. The doctor offered to cut it off, but with Shane’s help I pulled it off my right side first, and then slowly down my left arm.
What a promising start.
Now that I was bare-chested, I attempted to show the doctor my range of motion. Or lack thereof. He asked when it was painful. The answer was yes, ninety percent of the time. After just a few minutes, he had already made his decision.
“Obviously, Mr. Rivera, we can’t tell exactly what’s wrong without some tests, but as you and your coaches may have guessed, I believe you’ve torn a pectoral muscle.
It seems like it’s the major, based on the bruising and the sensitivity, but we’ll know more once we get an MRI and an ultrasound done.
I’m ordering an x-ray too, just to rule out fractures and dislocations. ”
Woodward nodded, but stayed quiet. Shane’s hand was trying to comfort me, slowly rubbing my back.
“If you had to rate the worst pain you’ve experienced in the last few minutes with one as nothing and ten as horrible, what number would you give it?”
I thought a bit before answering. “It’s around a six, with moments of eight.”
“I’ll get a prescription for pain meds going, but I know I don’t have to tell an athlete the dangers of prescription drug addiction.
I don’t give them out lightly, but an eight is past my threshold and I don’t want you suffering.
Only take it if you need it. And never more frequently than the instructions say. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head.
“A nurse will come get you in a few minutes, and they’ll take you upstairs to Diagnostics. I’ll meet you in Radiology.”
I didn’t have to wait long. The x-ray results were instantaneous - digital tech - and the doctor said they were clear.
Normally, he explained, the results wouldn’t be delivered as quickly, but since I was an Olympian, he knew we’d need to know today.
The ultrasound was inconclusive, but after the MRI results, which would take one to two days, it was possible he’d try ultrasound again.
What happened at the next visit would determine if I needed surgery or not, though the doctor seemed to indicate it was likely.
Overwhelmed with information, I pulled Shane towards me with my good arm, close enough to whisper, “Can you remember all of this? I can barely focus.”
“Of course. It’s a lot to process.”
I was fitted with a sling. At the very least, the injury was a strain, and I was to limit my movement as much as possible.
I could get the sling wet since it was a new type of fabric that was quick drying, but he gave me an extra one just in case.
With or without the pain meds, I could alternate a heating pad and ice if I wanted to.
We were just about finished when there was another knock on the door.
The doctor said, “Come in.”
It was Cam and Erika. His eyes immediately diverted to the sling. “What happened? Did you break your arm? Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“You already know the answer to the first question. I fell. I didn’t break my arm. And I didn’t tell you because I just found out myself. Just got back from getting scanned and poked and prodded.”
“Ah, sorry. I might be wound a little tight right now.”
“A little?” Erika asked. “He was yelling at me the whole ride. ‘Faster! Faster!’ Sounded like he was starring in a porno.”
Cam balked at her comment, but came over to me to give me a chaste kiss. “How bad is it?”
After Shane, Woodward, and the doctor united to explain everything so far, the doctor said he’d call with the MRI results as soon as he had them, then said his goodbyes.
“Camden, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Shane, Luke, I’ll see you outside in just a minute.”
Shane and I left the room with Erika, who said she’d give us a minute and walked a little ways down the hall. I turned to look at Shane, knowing what Woodward and Cam were discussing. “I’m probably out, right?”
“I’m afraid so, kiddo. It looks that way. I’m so sorry, Luke. I should’ve seen this coming.”
“What do you mean?!”
“Your chest has been bothering you, right?”
“Oh fuck! I hadn’t even thought of that. I just thought I was overtraining. I just- I…didn’t even think about it.”
Jesus Christ! I should’ve known better. Ty went through the same shit. I didn’t even see it happening to me.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, Shane. It really isn't your fault. You couldn’t have known. I didn’t know and it’s my body.”
A calm silence settled over us.
“I can’t believe that’s it then. Damn.”
Shane pulled me in for a hug and I couldn’t help but release the tears I had been struggling to hold back.
I wasn’t a cryer. But I hadn’t told my tear ducts about that fact, apparently.
I took a deep breath and tried to relax.
I heard the door open behind me and before I could extricate myself from Shane’s arms, I felt a warm body press against my back, adding another member to our hug. Literally.
I could feel it against my ass.
“If that’s you, Coach, we need to talk about boundaries.”
I felt a slap on my butt. “You know it’s me.” The smell of his body wash reached my nostrils.
It was Cam. But I already knew that.
After saying our goodbyes to Erika, we shared a shuttle van to get back to the village.
Shane had said Noah was on his way to meet us.
Cam and I hadn’t had a chance to be alone yet, so we just held hands.
We could’ve texted even though we were in the same vehicle, like the old days, but it would be better to talk about it. Plus, I was kind of down a hand.
I knew why we were going to the village. And I knew why Noah was on his way. Cam was the Olympian now. I was tomorrow’s headline.
I was anxious for whatever the MRI revealed, especially with the possibility of surgery, but I always knew this was my last Olympics. Cam and I had already discussed that. It was our last blast together, and he was supportive of me.
Now, it was going to be the other way around.
He didn’t need to be distracted by my torn pec muscle.
I needed to stay strong so he could do his best. Considering he had no warning this was coming, he had to be in shock.
I don’t think he’d trained the last few days either.
It was going to be a lot of pressure on him.
I couldn't imagine these two weeks being tougher than they already were.
We made it to the village, and after handing our IDs to the driver for security to verify, the shuttle pulled up to the main quad. We were heading for the same building we had our first team meeting in, only this time, it felt like I was going to a funeral.
It was in a way, I suppose. The end of my Olympic dream.
And then Cam helped me out of the van, and I felt a little better. It was a rebirth for him. A second chance. If it couldn’t be me, then I was glad it was him.
Noah met us there. He gave me a gentle hug, careful to avoid my arm, and a furtive glance at Cam before making his way over to Shane for a quick kiss. He came back to Cam's side and we filed into the building.
"If this were months or even weeks ago, this would've been a lot of phone calls and back and forth, but we're all here, and the Olympics start in three days." Coach Woodward paused. "But, it seems, with the two of you, nothing is typical." He paused to give Cam and I a sympathetic smile.
Cam and I sat on one side of the table, Noah and Shane were on the other.
"I updated Cassandra, but after this meeting, I’ll be letting the entire team know. Based on your pain level and the doctor’s assessment, I don’t think it's likely you will be at an Olympic level of fitness in three days time, Lucas. I'm sorry, but I think it's best to withdraw you from the team."
I tried to swallow my upset in order to say something, but words didn't come, so I nodded.
"It's one of the worst things that can happen to an athlete, but on the bright side, the doctor seemed optimistic about the outcome, though I know we have to wait for the MRI.
The other positive - trust me, I know that's a loaded word - is that this happened before the opening ceremony.
If something happens after that, the team is the team.
At least this way, we can have an alternate step in. "