CHAPTER 16 SECRETS
TALON
Sweat poured down my face, making its way into my eyes. The last two periods had been tough. The Otters were playing rougher than I thought they were capable of; they were playing to win.
So far, I had only scored one goal. In a move completely unlike myself, I had dedicated my goal to Aife.
I was never one for public displays, not even with Melody, especially not with Melody.
For some reason, I wanted to publicly stake my claim on Aife.
Despite what we had told my family, there was obviously a spark there.
I knew I liked her, a lot. Love… maybe I could admit that to myself.
The buzzer sounded, pulling me from my thoughts.
The Otters were up by one, and we needed to win this game to even have a chance in the playoffs.
All my focus went to the puck. The second it dropped to the ice, I was battling for it.
Chris quickly did a crossover pass to me, and I flew down the rink toward the goal.
Winding my arm back, I aimed for the upper right corner.
The puck hit the back of the net as the crowd roared.
Smiling, I held up two fingers as I skated by Aife.
Her face flamed red as she shyly waved at me.
One more goal, and we would win this game. The next seventeen minutes were tense. Sweat continued to coat my face and hair. I could feel the bruises forming on my ribs from being slammed into the boards so often. None of that mattered though. We had roughly two minutes left to score.
Jumping over the boards, I took over from my fourth shift guy.
The puck came flying my way, and I took off toward the goal.
Chris jumped over the boards, and I angled a pass to him.
He reeled back for a massive slapshot that narrowly got through the goalie’s gloves.
With a holler, I skated over to my captain, slamming him into the boards.
Shortly after, I felt my teammates hit my back as well. We had won!
Cheers erupted in the locker room as we stripped and showered. Several teammates slapped my back, congratulating me for a successful return. Once I no longer smelled like the inside of a gym bag, I put on my dark green suit.
Chris approached me, rolling up the sleeves of his button down. “Great game, Walker.”
“Thanks, man. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
I offered him a rare smile.
“So, Aife?”
Shit. They were already starting with the questions.
I didn’t know how to define our relationship. We were so much more than friends, but there was nothing sexual about it. Did I think Aife was insanely attractive? Yes, but I didn’t act on those feelings. What if she didn’t feel the same? I was fairly confident that all she wanted was friendship.
“What about her?” I carefully packed my gear into my locker before standing.
“You pretty clearly dedicated your goals to her. She a WAG now?” Chris asked, pulling on his jacket.
“No.” I hated that term. Being a wife and girlfriend (WAG) was why Melody wanted to date me in the first place. She wanted fame and notoriety and a hot boy toy. She didn’t care to know me; she didn’t want to know me.
Chris, Zeke, and I left the locker room together.
Chris stared me down for a moment. I knew he had more to say; he always did. Davis and the women were waiting for us, but Aife was missing. My brows furrowed. Where did she go?
Davis fist bumped us all before engaging Chris in a critique of the game. Dre and Zeke were exchanging insults, and Nat looked worried. My mind was still on Aife, however. She always met with us after the games. What was going on? Was she okay?
Before I could ask any questions, a loud thump sounded from the women’s restroom. Dre and Nat shared a look and barreled into the bathroom. I didn’t even think before following after them.
Aife was sprawled on the floor, her long hair displaced around her. A small trail of blood smeared her hairline. She was so pale. Bile threatened to rise in my throat before I registered her nurse friends practically triaging her.
“Aife?” Nat called her name. She reached her fingers down to check her pulse. “Faint but there. She’s breathing. Walker, call 911 and tell them we need an ambulance. Give very specific directions. This arena is huge.”
Nodding, I pulled my phone out and told the operator where to send the ambulance. Then I knelt down next to Aife. I had no experience, but I wanted to comfort her somehow.
“What happened?” My voice came out rough and hoarse.
“After the game, she said she had a terrible headache.” Dre placed a damp cloth on Aife’s neck. “Nat, do you think…?”
Nat chewed on her lips. “Get Dr. Su’s number. He needs to know what’s going on. Wasn’t her MRI fine?”
“She never said one way or another.”
My mind tried to process their words, but all I could hear was a sharp ringing. What the fuck was going on?
The bathroom door creaked open and EMTs flooded in. They politely shooed us out as they worked on Aife. Worry etched every feature on my face. What the hell was going on?
I sank to the floor, my head resting against the wall.
Useless. I felt completely useless. There were no words to describe how I was feeling. What was going on with my girl? Why had she collapsed? My brain was in a fog. Something inexplicable had happened from my leaving the rink to exiting the locker room. Bile rose in my throat again.
“Talon.” Davis stood before me. His eyes were a little red as he held out a hand to me. “They’re taking Aife to the hospital. EMS wouldn’t let anyone ride with her on. Come on.”
They left? I hadn’t even seen the stretcher leave. It felt like my world was collapsing around me. No one had this much medical trauma follow them, right? First my dad, then my tongue, then my hand, and now Aife. Numb. I felt numb, like static on a TV.
“Talon, buddy,” Davis said, pulling me up from the arena floor. “Aife needs us, man. Come on.”
Zeke and Chris stood outside, faces grim. All three held me up as we made our way outside. How was Aife so calm when I was hurt? My mind was sluggish, unable to process anything except the image of her tiny body lying on the tile floor with that trail of blood.
Somehow, we wound up at the hospital. One of the three shoved me in a hard, plastic chair in the waiting room. A steaming Styrofoam cup was placed in my hand. The liquid inside could only be described as sludge. My stomach turned over at the sight. Where was Aife?
Natalie and Dre appeared from somewhere. Any color they once had in their skin was now gone. Nat looked shaky, like she was about to keel over. Dre was on the verge of tears. Her eyes were rimmed red, and she was sniffing.
“What the fuck is going on?” My voice came out raw and hoarse.
Nat looked at me carefully. She bit her lip before playing with the ends of her hair. “I don’t really know, TJ. They took her back for an MRI. They called her MPOA and reached out to her doctor in Houston. I’m not family, so they won’t tell me anything.”
My fist came down hard on the plastic chair.
“Fuck!”
“TJ, please be calm,” Dre said, “If you make a scene, security will come.”
Licking my bottom lip, I just nodded. Silence.
Silence was infuriating. It meant being left alone with my thoughts, and I didn’t want that.
My mind was playing the ‘what if game,’ and all the scenarios were bad.
Plus, I had so many questions. It was like Dad all over again, but somehow worse.
Why was Aife seeing a doctor in Houston?
She lived here now. My head throbbed from all my thoughts.
My body jolted once someone shook my shoulder.
A groan escaped my mouth as I stretched and looked up to see a young-looking doctor. He had brown skin and shoulder length hair. He looked tired.
“Come with me. Aife is awake and requesting you.” I stood and popped my back. “You her doctor?”
“Yes, I’m Dr. Bowie.”
The name sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn’t comment as he walked me to her room. We made no idle chatter because none was needed. I only needed to see Aife,
make sure she was even slightly okay. Bowie stopped and motioned at her door before walking off.
Taking a deep breath, I entered her room.
Aife looked exhausted. Dark circles sat under her eyes and lines of worry laid between her brows.
About a dozen IV lines seemed to come out of her body, yet she still managed to send a weak smile my way.
Her face was pale, a bandage on her forehead. The smile on her face was weak, watery.
“Sorry for ruining your comeback game.” Her voice cracked, like she was about to cry. My heart lurched painfully at her tone.
“No.” I immediately sat on her bed, gently grabbing her hand. “No, darling. Fuck no. You didn’t ruin a damn thing.” My throat grew tight as I realized I was about to cry. “I’m just glad you’re alive, baby.”
“But—”
“No. Stop.” I pressed a kiss to the hand I was holding. Her hands were so cold, freezing against my palm. “We aren’t even gonna discuss it.”
Her hazel eyes connected with mine. So many emotions swarmed and swirled in those eyes. I could practically see her thoughts swimming in her head. Aife was nervous, but it was deeper than that. I slowed my breathing, forcing myself to calm so she felt safe.
“That doctor said you wanted to see me.”
She nodded before swallowing hard. Gently, she pulled her hand away from mine.
A pang of pain wracked my chest. I blinked so the tears wouldn’t spill down my cheeks.
My heart cracked, splitting my chest similarly to when my dad died. It was a pain I wanted to push away.
“Yeah, we need to have a serious conversation. I think it’s time we are truly and fully open with one another. You know? Get it all out on the table.” Her voice was small, pained. Her eyes didn’t meet mine, her body pulled away against the far side of the bed.
I wasn’t entirely sure what she was trying to get at,
so I merely nodded. My eyes refused to look at her face, so they pinged around the room. And that’s when I noticed it. Aife always wore long sleeves. Always. Here in the hospital, she wore a gown with short sleeves.
Tattoos lined her arms. Words, pictures, and colors swirled her arms in beautiful and intricate patterns.
They were so different than my black and white ones.
But, I noticed something else too. Thick, pink marks marred her skin—vertical lines.
Each forearm bore the mark. My face fell, tears welling in my eyes again...
and that ache in my chest fully cracked.
It was apparent what Aife had done—Aife had tried to kill herself. Why? What could possibly have made her consider death? My eyes couldn’t leave those scars. Was she still suicidal?
“Aife…” I trailed off, not even sure what I was going to say. I placed a hand on my chest, trying to ease the tightness there.
“Like I said, Talon, let’s lay it all on the table. I’m going to explain why I don’t do relationships. You explain Melody.”
Realization hit me like a freight train.
We were going to fully expose ourselves to each other.
Though we were close, we didn’t—rather wouldn’t—share our darkest secrets.
If Aife knew the full extent of the situation with Melody, I was sure she would hate me.
I hated myself for the things that had happened.
Swallowing the lump that had suddenly grown in my throat, I nodded. “Shall I start, or do you want to?”
Aife took a minute to look at me. She seemed to be contemplating what the best answer was. “You, please.”
“Okay,” I said and sighed. My heart pounded against the palm on my chest. “Melody was my fiancée.”
There was the truth finally out in the open. At one point in my life, I was engaged. I thought she would be my present and future, but that was not how the world worked.
Aife quirked a brow but said nothing. Nerves made it hard to continue, but I knew I had to. I swallowed thickly. There was no turning back at this point. Everything was about to be in the open. She motioned for me to continue. Her eyes were welcoming, her face neutral.
“I met Melody when I was twenty-one. We started off as friends. She went to school with us, and I thought nothing of it. To me, she was just this beautiful girl who we occasionally hung out with. She was the first to initiate anything.
“Melody gave me some story about being a native and wanting to show me around. I’d been in Chicago for college about three years at this point, but I agreed regardless. How could I say no?” I sighed. I should have said no. My heart raced again, but I finally dropped my hand from my chest.
“The first year of dating was bliss. It felt like she genuinely loved me.
We were happy, or at least, I was. We were together when I joined the league, and then we won the Stanley Cup.
My pay increased, and I started getting endorsements.
That was when Melody seemingly changed. She wanted lavish dates and gifts. And like a fool in love, I gave them.
“The more gifts she got, the more she pulled away.
Soon enough, Melody only spent time with me if we were doing something in the public eye.
After about a year of that, I told her I wanted to break up.
She broke down, tears and everything. She started putting effort in again.”
My hands pushed into my hair. “With Melody being the woman I originally met again, I proposed.”
Aife nodded. She was stoic. Her face was impossible to read, so I just decided to continue on.
My knee bounced as I said, “She wasn’t happy with her ring. She made me buy another one and redo the proposal. It was crazy. There I was professing my love and commitment to her, and Melody just wanted a flashy ring and public proposal. Nothing had changed, but I felt stuck… trapped.
“Melody started planning the wedding. She turned nasty, making demands and threats. I threw myself into hockey and refused to engage with friends and family. I wouldn’t even tell them about the shit she’d say.
“It got even worse because my dad got so sick. I didn’t talk to him as much as I used to. My dad was dying,
Aife… and I wasn’t really around.” Tears filled my eyes.
“Everything was falling apart, and I never said a true goodbye.
I barely remember the flight to Texas. He was in a coma, bad stroke after the cancer progressed to stage four.
And Melody… barely was there for me. My dad died, and she didn’t care.
“One day, I just lost it. I overheard her say I was only good for my wallet. This was after I’d found out she’d cheated on me. No idea why I stayed after that. I went off, screaming, cussing… the works. At one point, I even punched a hole in the wall.
She threw the ring back at me and called me a Texan bastard. That was nearly two years ago now.”
The room was silent as Aife took in my words.
“Thank you for sharing.” Her thumbs began to circle on another. “My turn, I guess.”