CHAPTER 20 A NEW START #2
It was always difficult for me to open up to people given my history, but Talon made it easy. How could I not be scared by that?
“I can hear your thoughts racing.” Talon murmured against my head. He pulled me closer to his warm chest, tucking an arm under my back. “Get out of there and into the present. Be here now.”
Focusing on the present wasn’t a gift I possessed.
I had no idea how to ‘be here now’ as Talon so eloquently put it.
Years of EMDR and somatic experience only worked so well.
My mind was an endless pit of anxiety. It had a terrible habit of focusing on the negative; it often felt like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Be here now was an entirely foreign concept.
“I can hear those thoughts, darling.” Talon pushed my hair away from my face. “Talk to me.”
I bit my bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth for a brief moment. Would he judge me if I voiced what I wanted? Would I even be able to do this with our friends in the other room?
“I want to ride your thigh.”
“Fuck,” he said lowly. “Can you be quiet? Be a good girl for me?”
Instantly, I felt myself dampen. Those two words instantly had me on edge, waiting and ready. I nodded, unable to say the words.
“Use your words.” He moved us, positioning himself so he was sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Yes, I can be quiet.”
“That’s a good girl. Now, come here.” He patted his thighs, muscles flexing beneath his tanned skin. I bit my lip again. Was I really about to do this?
He didn’t wait longer, pulling me onto his lap.
He pushed my shirt up over my head but not completely removing it.
Talon’s blue eyes connected with mine before his large hands settled on my hips.
My breath stuttered as I finally felt those muscular thighs beneath me, felt them flex as I cautiously rolled my hips.
Talon growled, his voice deep. “Ride me like the good girl I know you are.”
Those words were my undoing. I rocked on his thigh, feeling the muscles flex as I rolled and bounced.
Placing my hands on his shoulders, I leveraged myself, undulating over and over as his hands guided my hips.
My breath was shallow, soft moans leaving my lips as I rocked harder.
Talon guided me, pushing his thick thigh against my clit, the hair a rough sensation that only heightened my need.
He pressed harder, one hand grabbing my hair.
His lips pressed against my throat as I rode him harder and faster.
I could feel the hard length of him against my stomach as I felt the high begin.
I moaned as his lips pressed hard against the side of my neck, and suddenly, I was exploding, cumming all over his thigh.
“Good girl,” he said, laying back against the bed.
“Good girl.”
My breath was shallow, coming in intensely, almost painfully. I looked down, seeing a wet patch both on his boxers and on his thigh. Had he cum in his pants?
“Aife.” Talon’s voice was low, rumbling out of his chest. “Just focus on the rise and fall of my chest. Nothing else, okay?”
Nodding, I placed my head on his chest and started counting his breaths. I was a social worker who couldn’t even calm my own anxiety down without needing Talon. That was embarrassing, but it had also been worth it to finally feel those thighs beneath me.
I really did need to find a therapist in Chicago. I’d been putting it off for too long. I always did that: put my mental health on the back burner. My breathing started to regulate to Talon’s, and my mind felt more at ease.
“You know you can count on me for anything,” Dre said and pulled me in for a long hug.
“Just reach out, and we will be there, love.” Nat wrapped me up in another hug. “You’re our girl. We’ve got your back, and we know you have ours.”
The three of us were having a moment, and the guys were letting us. These two women were my rocks. I knew I could count on them, and I hope they knew I’d drop anything for them.
“Alright, let’s stop the sappy shit.” Zeke broke into our little moment. “I’m fucking hungry.”
A small laugh bubbled out of me. Of course, the big hockey guy was hungry. It was nice to have some humor though. Humor seemed to always help the situation.
“Well, then let’s go eat,” I said.
As always, we wound up at our favorite little diner near the University of Chicago.
And as always, all six of us ordered our usual routine of breakfast food.
Small talk rounded the table as we dug into our food.
Things were beginning to feel better. I used to believe I thrived in chaos, but chaos was kicking my ass. I needed calm.
Talon placed a hand on my thigh as we continued to eat.
It instantly made me smile. I still wasn’t sure what our label was, but I was excited to find out together.
He made me happy, and I finally felt like I deserved to be happy.
It was tiring to constantly punish myself for things out of my control.
If Talon was willing to try with me, I was ready to try with him.
“So, what’s going on with you two?” Dre pointed a fork between the both of us.
My skin flushed. This was weirdly embarrassing to discuss with my close-knit friend group. They’d been with us from the beginning of our weird relationship. We were one week from Christmas now, so three months of whatever our label was. It was still a little weird to open up to the group.
“Dre…” Nat began to scold our best friend.
“They’re both blushing.”
“Okay and?” She cocked an eyebrow at Nat.
“We’ve seen these two pining after each other since like August. Did they finally like kiss or fuck or something?”
“Jesus,” Talon mumbled under his breath. “Dre, for fuck’s sake. How about y’all tell us if you and Zeke are something? Or Nat and Davis?”
The entire table went silent. Everyone’s face was pink or red now. Our little friend group was keeping secrets. Clearly, we all had some sort of feelings flailing around. Maybe we just needed to air it all out.
“TJ and I kissed,” I said, keeping the other extracurriculars out of it. “Not sure what we are labeling it, but now it’s out in the open.”
Nat licked her lips. “Davis and I have been having sex.”
None of us were surprised by that. Those two were clearly in a will they/won’t they relationship.
“Zeke and I are mutually crushing but just chilling about it.” Dre drug a piece of pancake through syrup. “So, are you and Talon dating now?”
“Dre, must you always push.” Nat sighed as she took a sip of her water. “Let them figure it out.”
“I’m just curious.” Dre put some pancake in her mouth. “You guys all want to know too.”
Talon shook his head. A small smile played on his face as he took in our friends.
Yes, our friends could be a lot, but they clearly loved each other and us.
Dre should have been a journalist instead of a nurse.
She was far too nosy for her own good. It was an infuriating yet endearing quality.
We all had those; Dre’s just came out more often in group situations.
“I’d like to be exclusive with Aife. I was planning on taking her on a date and asking her. Someone had other ideas though,” Talon said, jokingly glaring at Dre.
My brain took a minute to process his words. Talon wanted to date me? Like he wanted to be my boyfriend? Was I ready for a relationship? I felt ready if it was with him.
“Um… honey, you alright?” Dre asked, breaking into my thoughts.
“Yeah.” My answer came out high and squeaky. Clearly, I was nervous. This felt like an extremely private conversation, and yet, we were having it in front of our friends. I loved them, but this felt like a moment just meant for the two of us.
“Knock it off everyone. Let TJ and Aife figure it out on their own.” Davis finally spoke up. “Just don’t fuck it up, either of you.”
Only Talon remained after breakfast. We were relatively silent as we put my living room back together.
It wasn’t completely awkward, but it felt like we had a cloud hanging over our heads.
Was he going to speak up? Did I need to?
Obviously, we needed to talk this out. It really just seemed to be a matter of starting this conversation.
Every time I tried to open my mouth, I faltered.
Had Talon just been appeasing our nosy friends?
Did he really want to date me? What did I even have to offer in a relationship?
Shaking my head, I stopped myself from delving deeper into my anxious state.
I couldn’t play an 284 imaginary game; I had to discuss this relationship thing with TJ.
Otherwise, I feared it would eat away at me.
“Aife… you are fidgeting an awful lot.” Talon’s deep, rich voice pulled me from my anxiety-riddled thoughts. “I can hear your mind racing. Talk to me, darling.”
I didn’t understand how his voice could calm me so easily. “I’ve been thinking about what you said at the diner.”
Nodding in understanding, Talon pursed his lips. He slowly sank onto my couch and gestured for me to follow suit. “Figured you would be bringing that one up.”
I sat on the couch, tucking my legs under my butt.
This felt like it was going to be a long conversation, like the one at the hospital. My mouth felt a little dry from my nerves.
“Darling, I thought my kiss and eating you out made it more than obvious. I want you, and I want to be in a relationship with you.”
I let the words sink into my mind and heart. Talon knew everything about me, things no one else knew. He had seen the deepest, ugliest, and darkest parts of me and still wanted me. It made my heart race.
“Well, I think I’d like that.” My cheeks flamed red.
Was that really the best I could come up with? Jesus, that was embarrassing.
Talon smirked. “That’s good. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to take you on a real date. Maybe out for dinner?”
“Sure,” I said as a smile took over my face. “Name the time and place.”
“Tomorrow night. I’ll let you know the place later.”
He grinned at me before standing. “Sleep well, darling.”