Chapter One – Wren #2
“Well, I might know where we can start.” The smile that graces her mouth right then is downright mischievous, and before she says what she says next, I have the feeling I already know where this is going. “There’s a party—”
I groan. There’s always a party around here, apparently. This college seems to be less about the overall education and more about having fun and underage drinking. “You know, this whole thing with Logan is kind of your fault. I wouldn’t know who he is if I never went out with you.”
“Yeah, but it worked to get you over your ex, didn’t it?” She’s not wrong, I guess. “Now you just need to do it all over again to get over that asshole.”
“And what if I get tangled up with someone else who’s worse?”
“Hmm. If that happens, I’m going to really start to question your choice of men.”
It’s true. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to picking out guys.
First was Mike, my cheating ex, and then it was Logan, a guy who has never been in a relationship before, a guy who is used to having all the girls chase after him…
a guy who apparently doesn’t care at all about me and my well-being. I guess I misjudged him.
Stupid me.
Sloane says, “Look, I’m not saying you need to throw yourself at the first guy you see, but you should at least try to put yourself out there.
You don’t need to go home with anyone. Just have some fun.
Make out with a guy whose name you don’t know.
Have a drink or two. Loosen up. I’d argue the worst that could happen has already kind of happened to you, so—”
I don’t know about that. I could get killed.
Raped. Beaten. Kidnapped. The list goes on and on, but as I stare at my roomie, I realize she doesn’t think any of that could happen.
Jeez, she must’ve lived a privileged life to never think about those possibilities.
As girls, stuff like that is kind of on the forefront of our minds all the time, isn’t it?
Never walk alone at night. Never leave your drink unattended. Never be alone with a guy you don’t know—broke that last one when I went home with Logan, so I really need to learn my lesson there.
“I don’t know,” I say, not really feeling like I’m in the partying sort of mood. Then again, even if everything was hunky dory in my life, I can’t say I’d want to party then, either. Me and partying never went hand-in-hand, for obvious reasons.
“Hey, remember our deal last semester? I let you off after the accident, but you’re better now. You owe me a lot of nights out,” she reminds me.
Oh, right. I did say I’d go out with her since she wasn’t charging me rent. She has me there. Why couldn’t she have forgotten that tiny little detail?
The smile she wears right then is both oddly chilling and sly. “Saturday night, clear your schedule. I’ll get our outfits ready, and all you have to do is show up. Don’t worry. We’ll make this semester one to remember.”
I don’t know if that sounds like a good idea, but I also know there isn’t any arguing with her. She’s the most strong-willed person I’ve ever met. I always assumed it was due to the wealth she grew up with.
Then again, she’s also seen some death. Let’s not forget her father was a serial killer who raped her mother and killed her mother’s friends.
Yeah, maybe Sloane isn’t the best girl to take advice from, but at this point, it’s too late to turn back.
Besides, she’s pretty much my only friend.
If I didn’t have her, I’d be alone, and as pitiful as it might be, I don’t think I could handle being alone.
With a sigh, I relent, “Fine. A party it is.” What can go wrong?
She flashes me a set of perfect pearly whites. “Great. What’s your plan for the rest of the day?”
“After I shower, I think I’m going to go to campus and walk my schedule,” I say, totally aware of how lame it sounds.
It’s something I like doing before classes start.
Make sure I can get to my destinations, especially when the classes are back-to-back.
If you have one class on one side of campus and the next class on the other, sometimes the fifteen minutes they give you between is barely enough.
And, besides all that, I like knowing where to go. I like being prepared. Sue me.
“Then I might grab some lunch from the union,” I add. “You want me to bring home anything for you and Elias?”
“Nah, thanks though.”
As I stare at my roomie from across the island, I can’t help but think back to a comment she made in the past. People didn’t want her and Elias to be together.
All this time later, and she still hasn’t told me why so many people supposedly don’t want them to be a couple.
Granted, I also haven’t asked, but I do wonder if she’d tell me if I did.
Sloane picks up her cup and takes it upstairs, leaving me to finish eating my cereal in peace. Our talk lingers in my head. I’m not looking forward to any parties, but as long as I don’t see Logan there, I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll even force myself to have some fun.
I can do that, can’t I? I can have fun. I’m a fun person sometimes, right?
Eh, it’s going to be like pulling teeth, but whatever. It’s a new year, new semester, and I am ready to leave all the pain and angst in the past.
Once I’m finished with my cereal, I clean up and take a shower.
I do a very light blow-dry of my hair only so it’s not soaking wet when I venture out.
I throw on some thick leggings, a long-sleeved T-shirt, and make sure my new schedule is loaded onto my phone before I grab my thick coat and head out.
I cross the main street and head to campus. It snowed a few days ago, so the streets and sidewalks are clear, but anywhere that might’ve had grassy patches or landscaping is either covered in the white stuff or piled high with it.
Snow is pretty enough, I suppose, but only right after it falls, before it gets tainted and dirtied up.
I don’t like the ice that often comes with it, nor do I particularly enjoy the bitter cold wind that sweeps across campus.
The cold I could take or leave; it just means more pack-up time when it comes to classes, because there’s no way in heck you can sit there for either fifty minutes or an hour and fifteen minutes, depending on the day, in your winter garb without sweating your butt off.
I’m a hoodie girl through and through. If the temperature warms to forty degrees?
That’s hoodie weather. Thirty and under?
That’s thick coat territory. The weather around here is strange sometimes.
Monday you’ll have twenty-degree temps with wind chills in the single digits, and by Thursday it’ll be forty-five degrees and a wet mess with all the melting snow and ice.
The good thing about campus before the semester actually begins is how dead it is. The sidewalks are empty, save for a person here and there. It’s a whole different world than it is when the semester is in full swing. It’s quiet. You can actually hear yourself think.
I run my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday route first. The buildings are unlocked because professors are coming and going, so I can go right inside and find the actual rooms my classes will be held in.
I’m totally aware it’s a nerdy thing to do, but it makes me feel better come the actual start of classes. I like knowing where to go. It quiets the anxieties inside of me.
It’s… not very fun being me.
As I push out of the first building and time myself walking to my next class across campus, I can’t help but feel a strange sense of loneliness sweep over me.
Seriously, if I didn’t have Sloane, I wouldn’t have anyone, and it’s by pure happenstance that she saw my post online and reached out to me with an offer of a place to stay.
If she hadn’t… I would’ve been forced to live with my ex-best friend. That would’ve sucked spectacularly.
Still, as grateful as I am for Sloane and her timely intervention last semester, I can’t fight the feeling that I’m alone and it sucks.
When I was with Mike, I was all-in. That was four years of my life right there.
I always had him to talk to, could always hang out with him. Someone was always there.
Granted, the jerk was cheating on me for just over two years of that relationship, but at the time, I didn’t feel nearly as alone as I feel right now. It’s not a good feeling. I’d give anything for that loneliness in my soul to disappear.
I make it to my next class with more than five minutes to spare, telling me once the sidewalks are busy it’s going to be a close call.
I wish I could’ve known where the classes were being held when I signed up for them, but they don’t give you that information at that time, unfortunately. Hence why I feel the need to do this.
The last class is easy to get to within the fifteen minutes; it’s in the building right next door to my previous class.
With my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday schedule practiced, it’s time for me to start my Tuesday/Thursday route.
I get the building and class number off the list from my phone, and head towards it.
My first class those days is in a building facing the cemetery in the center of campus, and I hate that every time I pass that darn cemetery I’m going to think about Logan.
I still remember it like it was yesterday: coming upon someone playing a familiar song with an acoustic guitar. That low yet controlled voice that could haunt you if you weren’t careful. The shock in my heart when I rounded the tall tombstone and saw it was Logan.
Fate had a way of throwing us together last semester. With any luck, this semester I won’t see hide nor hair of him. If I do see him… I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to forget about him. Logan’s not the kind of guy you can ignore when he’s around.