Chapter Twenty-Seven – Logan
I’m antsy. Wren says she understands, but she can’t possibly. She knows I was a huge asshole, she got a taste of it herself last fall, but she doesn’t know every story. I’m sure if I went through them like a list, I’d still catch her by surprise with how big of a dick I used to be.
Wren and I are in the music room. She sits in the big bean bag chair, listening as I mindlessly strum along. We’re waiting for them to get here. My brother, Bishop, Priest, and Angel.
Yeah, they’re bringing her. I told them they didn’t have to if she wasn’t comfortable, but I think they all want to meet Wren. They want to see her for themselves, the girl who can put up with me.
The girl who changed me, made me better.
Reese isn’t here, which is good. I don’t want him here, not when it’s the first time I’ll have seen Bishop and Priest in so long. Don’t want him saying anything super weird, as he tends to do. We might be on better terms now, but sometimes the guy is… well, still a fucking creep.
I don’t know how long Wren and I wait, but it feels like an eternity passes in that room before my phone buzzes and I set down the guitar to check it. When I see that my brother has texted me and said they’re here, my stomach gets hard in a queasy way, so unlike me.
I never used to give a shit before. I blame Wren. But, I have to remind myself, caring isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not giving a shit is what led me to spiral to begin with, so its opposite has to be something to strive for.
What’s life if you never care about anything?
Standing, I tuck my phone into my pocket and say, “They’re here.” Wren gets up, comes over to me, and rubs my arm in support. I’m so nervous about this. It sucks.
Together, we head downstairs, and Wren hangs back while I go to open the door. My brother is the first person I see approaching the front door from the short sidewalk from the driveway. His long hair is pulled back into a low, semi-messy ponytail, and when he sees me, he gives me a nod.
Behind him is Bishop, Black Sacrament’s main guitarist. Apparently, from what my brother has told me, he actually knew Angel from when they were kids. What were the odds of that? He looks the same as he always did: short brown hair, crisp hazel eyes, and a nonchalant way of holding himself.
And then there’s Priest: Black Sacrament’s new singer.
Although, I guess, not so new anymore. The tallest out of them all, completely covered in tattoos.
He has the shaggy blond hair and gray eye combo that makes the girls go nuts—and guys sometimes, too, although I doubt he’s been dabbling in any of that since he’s with Angel like the rest of them.
Angel.
She walks next to Priest in the back, wearing a plain pink shirt and a baseball cap over her white hair.
She’s a pretty girl; I could understand why they’re currently tangled up in the mess they are.
I mean, look at me, Wren, and Reese. I can’t really talk when it comes to messy, atypical relationships.
“Hey,” I say when Deacon finally reaches the front door. I step aside and let him in, and I give a nod to everyone else. “Welcome to Casa de Logan.”
“And Wren,” she chimes in from behind me, grinning ear to ear as she greets everyone. “The brother, I remember you.” Then her gaze shifts to Bishop. “And you must be Bishop. And you, Priest.” And then, finally, “Angel. I’m Wren.”
The guys and Angel all give me questioning looks as I shut the front door, and I say, “Don’t look at me. She figured it out all on her own. I swear I didn’t tell her.” Deacon already knew she knew, but he must not have disclosed that little fact to the others.
“Good to meet you,” Bishop says with a dimpled smile. “I kind of thought you weren’t real.”
Beside him, Priest nods once. “Totally thought you were fake, too. I mean, who the hell would ever want to put up with Logan here? We did it, but you know, we were getting paid big bucks.”
I glare at them, and all they do is shrug, like they didn’t say anything insulting.
Wren takes it all in stride. “He does take some getting used to, but I wouldn’t have him any other way.” The look she gives me after that makes me forget about everything. Even now, those big brown eyes of hers have a way of melting me.
I suddenly feel so awkward with all of them there, especially Angel, even though this is my house and they’re here to visit me. “Who wants a tour?” I want to fucking punch myself. I sound so awkward, I hate it.
“Hell yeah,” Priest says. “Onward!”
I roll my eyes. I see Priest hasn’t changed one bit.
Angel chimes in, “I’ll stay down here with Wren, if that’s okay. You guys get the tour.” She takes off her baseball cap and lets her white hair free. It’s not her natural color; I remember, uh, doing a bit of stalking when she had some salon visits.
Not something I’m proud of, especially now.
I look to Wren, who doesn’t miss a beat when she says, “Sure. You want anything to drink?”
“Nah, I’m good,” Angel says, and I watch as she and Wren head over to the living room, to the couch.
They’ll be fine. I think. I hope.
I show the guys around. It’s not a huge house, but it suits its purpose. I take them upstairs and show them our rooms, and we wind up in the music room, where the guys disperse and take their time in looking at all of the guitars I have lined up. Out of all of the rooms, this one is the messiest.
Bishop runs his hands down my favorite electric guitar, then tosses me a glance over my shoulder. “You playing again?”
I glance at my brother, who stands only a few feet away from me while Bishop and Priest are deeper in the room. “You didn’t tell them?”
With a shrug, my brother says, “Nah. I thought you should, if you want.”
Walking over to Bishop, I say, “Yeah, I’m doing a bit of playing. I’ve been writing a lot of lyrics lately. Wren and I will play together sometimes. Well, she’ll sing and I’ll play.”
That gets Bishop’s attention. “She sings?”
I nod.
Priest comes over and drapes an arm over Bishop’s shoulder as he says, “She seems nice. Too nice for you. Walking by her on the street, I never would’ve pegged her for you.” He means she’s not my type, and if he was talking about the old Logan, AKA Pope, he would be right.
But for Logan? For me? Wren is perfect.
“She’s—” I stop myself. I don’t want to sound like a lovesick puppy when it comes to Wren, but at the same time, I want these guys to know I’m serious about her.
That I wouldn’t be where I am today without her.
“She makes it better. I used to be angry at the world, but when I’m with her, I can just… be.”
“My man,” Priest says. “Smitten with a girl. Never thought I’d see the day.”
I chuckle as I fold my arms over my chest and shoot back, “I could say the same for you.” The only one who could ever keep up with me when it came to hooking up was Priest, and now he’s in a long-term relationship with Angel, same as my brother and Bishop.
“Fair,” he says.
Bishop shrugs his arm off his shoulder. “You know, all these instruments here—even a drum set—kind of make me want to play.” He eyes me up. “You up for something like that?”
I glance between the guys. When I first got kicked out, I was in constant disbelief, and then as time wore on, I started to believe I’d never play with them ever again.
Now… now the need to play with them doesn’t cling to me as hard as it used to—I’d be completely fine never picking up an instrument with them again.
But, at the same time, I can’t lie. It would be nice to play with them one last time.
“Sure,” I tell them. “Let’s do it. Any song in particular you want to play?”
“You pick,” Bishop says.
Out of all the songs I could pick out of our old albums, I go for the one that changed my life the most, but it didn’t change my life until I met Wren. “Godsent?”
Priest nods. “Hell, yeah. Let’s do it.”
Everyone goes to their chosen instrument. Priest and Bishop pick up guitars, while my brother heads to the drum set in the back of the room. It’s nothing huge, not like the set he’s used to. It’s a throwback to when we had to play in our parents’ garage.
A few minutes later, we’re launching into it. The first verse is a bit stilted, but we quickly get the hang of it. It feels weird to sing with no mic, but hearing the others play along fills me with a certain kind of contentment I could not possibly get anywhere else.
It’s nice. It’s cathartic. It’s just what I needed to truly say goodbye to that part of my life.
Wren and Angel slip inside the room. They must’ve heard us playing downstairs and wanted to see the show for themselves, so we give them one. They lean against the wall facing us, watching with smiles on their faces. Angel’s gaze is divided between the others, while Wren’s eyes are glued to me.
It’s like we’re on stage all over again, only this time there’s only one girl in the audience I want to impress, only one girl I want to take home. The same girl I want to wake up next to every damn day from here on out.
I don’t know where I’d be without Wren, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here, with my ex-bandmates, playing.
I’d still be lost, still be struggling with everything that happened.
I’d be a shadow, a shell of who I am today.
I owe Wren everything, and I’ll spend the rest of my life repaying her for that.
After Godsent, we play another song, and this one Priest picks out. We get so into the groove that we play a whole set, like we actually are on stage and we’re performing. It’s a nice throwback, even if our audience is made of two.
Playing together for so long got rid of any lingering awkwardness, and the afternoon progresses into the evening.
We get pizza delivered, and we wind up in the living room, chatting and laughing.
It’s all so normal, like they come to visit all the time.
Like I didn’t spend so long envying them and wishing I was still a part of the band.
It’s a fun time, so fun that, when it comes time for them to leave, I find myself saying, “You guys should visit more often, when you aren’t busy recording or touring.”
“Yeah, that’d be fun,” Priest says. “You could show us around campus, since you’re a bigshot around here.”
I roll my eyes, and my brother says, “It would be nice to see you more.”
Angel says to Wren, “It’d be nice to hang out with another girl every now and then, too. This, uh, sausage fest can get old sometimes.” She can’t say it with a straight face, though. When Bishop gives her a hurt look, she adds, “I’m kidding. But not about the hanging with another girl part.”
Wren nods. “Yeah, that’d be fun.”
We walk them to the door, and wave goodbye. With how dark it is outside, Angel doesn’t put on her baseball cap. They make it to their car in the driveway, and soon enough they’re gone, leaving me and Wren to clean up the little mess dinner made in the living room.
Only after everything is cleaned do we sit on the couch together, Wren practically in my lap. She leans her head on my shoulder and says, “That really was nice. I’m glad we had them over.”
“Me, too. It went better than I thought it would.”
“The guys seem cool, and Angel’s pretty nice. She reminds me of me, a little bit. Just a small-town girl who got super lucky.” She sighs. “Did you know her sister is the one who sent in the audition tape?”
“I heard something about it.”
Though I don’t see the smile, I can detect it in her voice when she says, “Now that we’ve checked that off the list, there’s only one more thing we have to do before classes start next Monday.”
Ah, right. How could I forget? Reese has a little something planned for the three of us. He’s kept pretty tight-lipped about it, so I’m not sure exactly what the plan is, and knowing the guy, he’s going to keep it a secret until right before.
“He didn’t tell you what we’re doing?” I ask.
“Nope. He wants it to be a surprise, although I think I have an idea.”
I shift the way I’m sitting so I can look at her. “You have an idea and you won’t tell me? Fuck that. What’s your idea? Do I need to mentally prepare myself for some weird shit?”
Wren chuckles. “No, I think you’ll be fine. You might actually enjoy it.”
Now that… that doesn’t help narrow things down. If anything, it only makes me more confused. What the hell would I maybe enjoy that I haven’t done before? I have no idea, and it doesn’t sound like Wren is going to tell me.
Knowing Reese like I do, it’s definitely going to be some weird shit.