38. Darcy
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
darcy
I wake up exhausted enough that my eyes burn and somehow still aware of the fact that I barely slept.
At some point around three in the morning, I gave up pretending otherwise and cleaned my kitchen cabinets—the inside. I found three soy sauce packets fused together at the bottom of a drawer and stood there holding them for a full minute, wondering if this was what rock bottom looked like.
I’m pacing again by eleven-thirty.
The problem with driving across state lines to deliver a potentially life-altering monologue is that eventually you arrive and still have to give it.
Except I didn’t.
I got back to Boston yesterday ready to finally say all the things I should’ve said before I panic-fled back to Pennsylvania, and instead I found an empty apartment and spent the rest of the night trying not to invent reasons for why they weren’t here.
Now it’s nearly noon, and I’ve worked myself through the same three questions so many times I’m starting to resent them.
Did I completely misread this?
Did I ruin it?
Are they avoiding me?
I’m halfway across the living room again when movement outside catches my eye.
Tyler’s Jeep turns onto the block, and I stop so fast I nearly trip over the edge of the rug.
I stare through the window as the truck pulls up crooked against the curb, like he parked it while still moving. His door opens and he climbs out looking exhausted, his shoulders drawn tight beneath his jacket. When he looks up toward the building, I can see the strain in his face even from here.
Mack gets out a second later. The moment his door shuts, he looks up toward my windows and finds me, and suddenly I can’t seem to catch my breath.
They’re already moving toward the building before Tyler locks the truck.
One look at them and the last four days come rushing back, but underneath all of it is the relief of the simple fact that they’re here.
Mack stops at my door, the breath catching somewhere in his throat.
“Hi.”
The sound makes me dizzy.
“Hi.”
They both search my face like they’re checking for damage.
“We went to your parents’ house yesterday,” Tyler says.
My throat tightens.
“You did what?”
He cuts Mack a look.
“Your mom said you’d already left.”
There’s something awful in the way he says it, like he’s relieved that I came back at all.
Tyler nudges Mack’s arm, clearing his throat. Mack takes a half step closer.
“I’m really sorry, Darcy. About everything that I said.”
The words come slowly, each one seeming to get weighed before he lets it go.
“At dinner, I was scared that you were trying to tell us that you didn’t want to be…kept. And then your ex showed up and you just looked so relieved, standing up for yourself. I didn’t want you to think that we’re like him. That we were trying to keep you somewhere you didn’t wanna be.”
“The way it came out was pretty fucking spectacular, too.”
“Ty, not helping.”
Despite myself, I almost smile.
“You disappearing scared the shit out of us,” Tyler says. “We drove six hours because neither of us could stand not knowing where you were or if you were okay.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“We know.” Mack keeps his eyes on me. “We wanted to.”
I open the door an inch further and step aside.
“Come in.”
Neither of them moves immediately.
“You guys can come in.”
This time they follow me in. As soon as the door closes behind them, the apartment feels less hollow.
“We weren’t sure if you’d even open the door,” Mack says.
“You drove six hours without knowing if I’d even talk to you?”
“Yes,” they both answer at exactly the same time.
I look away before they can see what that does to me.
“I heard what you said and then I got in my car and everything just…” I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Mack’s brows draw together.
“You were hurt.”
“I should’ve stopped it,” Tyler says. “We should’ve stopped it.”
“We can’t change what happened,” Mack continues. “But we can make damn sure you never have to wonder where you stand again.”
Tyler meets my eyes.
“And for the record, we thought you knew.”
“Knew what?”
“You belong with us,” Mack says. “If that’s what you want.”
They move closer.
“If you still want both of us…” Tyler says.
“…because we love you.”
Something inside me gives.
“I do—”
Mack folds me against his chest before the words are fully out, Tyler closing in a beat later and wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“I came back yesterday to tell you that I love you, too. Both of you.”
“We’re never letting you disappear on us again,” Mack mumbles against my forehead.
Tyler’s mouth pulls into a crooked smile.
“Unless you really, really want to leave.”
“Debatable,” Mack counters.
I laugh. It comes out wet and shaky and completely involuntary, but it’s the first laugh I’ve had in days that doesn’t feel like I’m trying to prove I’m okay.
Before I can say anything else, Tyler cups my jaw and turns my face toward his. The second he kisses me, every awful, tight, frantic thing inside me gives way at once.
Relief floods through me so hard my legs feel like they’re about to give out. His hand slides into my hair like he’s been wanting to do this for days, like he’s been holding himself back from it.
“We were fucking miserable without you,” he admits.
My heart’s already racing a million miles a minute when Mack’s hand comes up to my cheek, guiding my face back toward him.
“I meant what I said,” he murmurs against my lips. “About you belonging with us. I just should’ve said the rest of it, too.”
“What’s the rest?”
“That losing you would feel unbearable. That we’ll never make you feel small or like your life isn’t yours, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t fight for you. That we’d never make it easy for you to walk away. Because you’re everything, Darcy.”
Tears spill down my face.
“Mack… Tyler…”
“There’s nowhere you could go that we wouldn’t bring you home from, Trouble,” Tyler whispers against the shell of my ear.
Then Mack’s lips are on mine, hard and demanding as ever, like he’s trying to make up for four days of distance all at once.
“Your parents might have some questions about all of this, though…” Tyler teases.
“Oh my god, Tyler,” I groan. “What did you guys even say?”
“We may have announced ourselves as your boyfriends.”
“Your mom wanted logistics,” Mack adds, clearly entertained.
“Not happening—”
“Your dad looked slightly horrified,” Tyler adds.
“I think he’ll come around,” Mack says, looking between us.
I bury my face in his chest, pulling them both closer.
I’m back home where I belong. The rest can wait.