Eliza
I turned on the lights at Root and Vine Yoga and locked the door behind me. I then dropped my keys on the front desk and immediately headed to the studio.
The yoga studio was decorated similarly to my apartment with plants and candles.
Jules helped me revamp the studio last summer after working with Lily on her café.
We picked new flooring, paint, and decorations.
Jules also came up with a long-term plan for updating the mirrors, light fixtures, and other elements to make the space feel updated, relaxing, and modern.
I started practicing yoga in high school. It offered a way for me to unwind, get out of my head, and be active. I enjoyed being outside or in the gym, but the mental and emotional benefits of yoga were unlike any other.
Not long after starting yoga, I learned my mom had always wanted to open her own studio. According to Gran, my mom loved yoga but stopped shortly after I was born. She was getting back into it around the time she died.
I’d gone to college for business management, thinking that maybe one day I’d open my own studio.
At that point, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do for a career, but owning my own business sounded the most appealing.
The summer going into my junior year, I completed yoga teacher training.
I then taught community classes occasionally while bartending and finishing my degree.
After graduation, I found opportunities to teach more consistently and discovered the type of classes and studio I wanted to offer in Golden Falls.
I’d had my studio open for about a year now, and I never got tired of seeing someone master a pose or leave with a relaxed smile on their face.
I taught classes in the morning then did admin work before heading into Lake Ridge on my bartending days.
Today’s first class wasn’t for another couple hours, but I needed the time to myself this morning.
I rolled out my mat and pulled off my sweatshirt, leaving me in my sports bra and leggings. I lay on my back with my legs bent at my knees and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, holding my breath, and then exhaling.
For the last four days, I’d been replaying my interaction with Leo. Normally, it was easier for me to move on, but my mind was stuck. On him. On why he was here. On why he’d accepted this job.
He had a tension in his shoulders when he’d been sitting at the bar, but that had always been there, even the first time I met him.
I met Leo a few months into my relationship with Colin. Colin made a dinner reservation for us at one of his favorite restaurants in Madison.
At the time, and even now, I thought it was a little odd.
Leo was working full-time, and we were in school.
Wouldn’t it have been more convenient for us to go down and have dinner in Chicago, where his brother worked?
My bartending schedule could get crazy, so I could only imagine the unpredictable and long hours of working full-time in a restaurant.
And then there was the whole concept of dinner and meeting his brother. I didn’t get the sense that they were close, so I wasn’t sure why Colin was so excited to introduce me to his brother, but it seemed important to him, so I went with it. Even if I slightly dreaded it.
From what Colin had told me about Leo at that time, I didn’t expect to get along with him or, quite frankly, to have much fun at the dinner.
Colin hadn’t said anything bad about his brother, but he also hadn’t said anything all that good. He told me the basics: his brother was a chef, lived in Chicago, and was, and I quote, “like forty.” That part was important.
Basically, Colin had made his brother sound boring, predictable, and old. The age thing I wasn’t worried about—my grandma was one of my favorite people on the planet—but it was the boring and predictable part that made me uneasy.
Colin and I had arrived separately since he was running late, but he’d texted me that Leo was already there. As much as I wanted to pace around the block, I decided to go in and get the initial introduction over with.
When the hostess led me over to the table, I was confused, because the image I had in my mind from what Colin told me didn’t match up with the man in front of me.
So much so that one of my first sentences to him was, “You don’t look forty,” to which he gave me an equally confused look and laughed under his breath.
“Thank you?” he said, head tilted to the side, which I took as a sign to shove my foot farther into my mouth.
“Not that forty is old or a bad age!” I assured. “Forty is great. I mean, look at you.” I gestured to him in all his broad-chested, tall, tattooed glory.
He was attractive, but it was in that you’re my boyfriend’s brother, and I find my boyfriend attractive, which means by default you’re attractive kind of way. Obviously.
When Leo didn’t say anything, I realized I hadn’t even told him who I was. “Shit, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Eliza! Colin’s girlfriend.” I extended my hand to him.
It wasn’t until then that I realized Leo had been holding in a laugh. Not a chuckle or a huff, but a full-on laugh—his shoulders shaking and eyes crinkling in the corners.
His hand was calloused and rough when it met mine, but also warm. I thankfully didn’t get much time to think about the feeling because on another laugh, he told me his secret: He wasn’t forty. He hadn’t even turned thirty yet.
And I about lost it there. It was hard not to when his laugh was so infectious.
The whole situation wasn’t even that funny, but we couldn’t stop.
We had tears in our eyes by the time Colin finally arrived.
He seemed shocked that we were getting along and laughing.
It was like he wanted us to sit in awkward silence.
I remembered him being more annoyed than usual the rest of the night.
That was another thing—Colin had made Leo sound like he was serious all the time. I wasn’t sure if the way Colin described his brother was the way he saw him or the way he wanted me to see Leo.
After that dinner, I looked forward to seeing Leo again, and I found myself wondering if maybe I had more in common with him than with my boyfriend.
My peaceful day didn’t last very long. A text from an ex—even one you’re friendly with—was unsettling, because there was typically a reason for the message.
Fortunately, I only had one ex, so I didn’t get these texts often.
Colin
Hey.
As I stared at the message, three gray dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared only to go away again. There was something he wanted to say…why wasn’t he saying it?
Colin and I were on good terms but didn’t talk often. One of the first times I’d seen him since our breakup was last summer when I was down in Madison for a yoga conference. It seemed like he’d changed and matured in some ways…but in others, it only reminded me why we broke up.
When we were together, he enjoyed drinking and going out.
I did, too—it was fun, high energy, lots of people around.
And while I still enjoyed that, I’d slowed down significantly on going out since graduating college and moving back to Golden Falls.
Jules, Lily, and I still knew how to have a fun night out, but it wasn’t like we were doing that every weekend. For a while there, Colin was.
When I thought he’d be in the area for New Year’s Eve, I’d invited him to come out with our group. He’d ended up switching plans and going to Portland instead to visit Leo, which ended up being for the best.
The last thing I wanted to do was give Colin the wrong idea.
I had no interest in getting back together.
When I thought back to our relationship, I realized just how much shit I’d put up with.
It was almost like because he was my boyfriend at the time, I didn’t see it.
Had it been anyone else, I would’ve called it out immediately.
That was one way I’d changed in that relationship, and I didn’t like it.
I didn’t want to soften myself to make someone else feel comfortable.
I wasn’t crazy about relationships when I met Colin, but I was much more inclined to give it a try back then.
I thought that was part of why I was appealing to him.
The chase. The challenge to get someone who was hesitant to commit.
Because once I committed and truly gave the relationship my all, he backed off and seemed less invested.
It was almost as if he liked the idea of me more than who I actually was. And then the things I thought he liked about me—how outgoing I was, how I could strike up a conversation with anyone, that I enjoyed bartending—caused arguments.
Was that what relationships were? That once you saw every side of someone, you couldn’t stop finding flaws?
And trust me, I knew I had flaws. And I knew I wasn’t perfect in our relationship. I kept Colin at arm’s length a lot of the time, never fully letting him in.
That was why casual sex felt so natural. I didn’t have to worry about any of that.
My eyes remained glued to my phone as I entered Lake Ridge for my shift, contemplating whether or not I should respond.
As soon as I stepped inside, I inhaled an aroma of garlic, honey, roasted vegetables, and likely much more that I couldn’t put my finger on. My stomach immediately growled.
“Ray, what’s cooking?” I called out while clocking in.
Not getting a response, I walked farther into the kitchen, glancing at my phone again to see if another text had come in.
When I took another step, a yelp escaped me.
My left foot slipped, and I braced myself, fully prepared to eat shit on the tile floor.
Of course, it would happen right next to the yellow wet floor sign.
Except I didn’t fall.
Instead, a large hand gripped my arm, pulling me upright, while another hand landed on my hip to steady me.