Eliza
Me
Movie night tonight?
I waited for a response from Lily and Jules to see what they were up to.
As promised, I’d stopped by Purrfect Blend earlier today to see Lily.
We chatted, and I got admin work done on my laptop in the cat room.
While I didn’t see myself getting a cat, I loved the furry little creatures.
Between the cat café and Lily and Gabe’s cats, I got my fix.
Plus, that meant I got to keep all my plants.
While I was at Purrfect Blend, neither of us mentioned our conversation from a few days ago, and I was happy with that. I’d almost forgotten it even happened.
Almost.
What you need is someone who allows you to take risks but is a safe landing place.
I slouched deeper into the couch, turning up the volume of the television so I couldn’t hear my own thoughts.
Out of the corner of my eye, my phone screen lit up with notifications from the girls.
Jules
Wes got off work early, so we’re grabbing dinner. Let’s do a movie next week?
Lily and I are both going to be at yoga this week, though!
Lily
Gabe and I are working on details for the storefront. We’re trying to get things open by the first farmer’s market in May.
Movie next week would be perfect, and yes to yoga!
Me
Love it. See you both soon.
Jules
Can’t wait!
I swiped out of my messages with Lily and Jules and aimlessly scrolled social media before opening a dating app. I didn’t last more than a few minutes of pointless swiping and scrolling before I closed out of that, too.
I sighed and looked around my apartment.
I had my evenings free at the start of the week because I only taught yoga classes in the morning and didn’t bartend. I was part-time in both roles, and my favorite days were the busy ones where I did both. Having evenings free was nice, but it was better when I had something to keep me busy.
Tonight, it was too quiet. Jules and Lily were busy. Gran was at knitting club. I loved my brother, but I wasn’t desperate enough to hang out with him.
I leaned my head back against the couch, sinking further into the cushions and catching sight of the cotton candy–colored sky with wispy clouds and a golden sunset.
There were a few spots in town that were ideal to watch the sunset from, but there was one in particular that was the fastest for me to get to—the rooftop.
People were rarely up there, so I’d have the spot to myself to relax and unwind from the day. There were chairs and tables, along with a grill that tenants could use. I never used the grill, but I enjoyed lounging on the chairs while admiring the view.
I stood from the couch, pulled on my sweatshirt, and grabbed my things before leaving.
I climbed the stairs leading to the rooftop and pushed open the door. The chilly spring air hit me immediately, and I was glad I’d put on a sweatshirt. The weather in late April was still a little chilly in the evenings, but I wasn’t going to complain after the cold winter we’d had.
The door slammed behind me, and I pulled out the joint and lighter I had stashed in the front pocket of my sweatshirt. I didn’t smoke too often, but sometimes it was exactly what I needed to unwind from the day and relax my mind. When I smoked, it was usually alone since neither Jules nor Lily did.
I set the joint between my lips, lighting it and inhaling. It was then I realized that I wasn’t alone. “Oh, shit!” I exclaimed on my exhale, which then got me coughing. I’d gotten so used to being alone up here that I just assumed.
Great. I really needed to stop assuming.
The figure straightened and turned around, pulling an ear bud from his ear. Leo was wearing a black sweatshirt with a pair of light-gray sweatpants and sneakers. His hair was messy and damp, like he’d just hopped out of the shower.
“You okay there, Trouble?” he asked, amused.
“Yeah, I’m all good,” I said, walking to stand next to him. “Just didn’t expect anyone to be up here.” After a beat of silence, I offered, “I don’t have to be here if you wanted to be alone.”
Leo shook his head, pulling his other ear bud out then sticking both in the case and sliding it into his pocket. “I wouldn’t mind if you stayed. You’re not the worst company.” The sparkle in his eye gave away that he was teasing, although his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
I playfully glared, and a comfortable silence fell over us.
We leaned against the brick parapet, taking in the view.
This side of the roof faced Lake Golden and a dense forest filled with evergreens and other trees, including maple, birch, and oak.
The trees were starting to regain their leaves, and soon enough, it’d be a luscious sea of green when you looked out.
I snuck a glance over at Leo, seeing the way his brows furrowed and jaw clenched. “What’s on your mind?” I asked.
A heavy exhale left him, as if he didn’t know where to start. After a few seconds, he answered, “Life. Work. Family.” There was a heaviness behind the three words.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered.
I wouldn’t take it personally if he didn’t want to, but I still wanted to let him know I’d listen.
“Can’t say I give the best advice, but I’m a decent listener,” I added, bringing the joint up to my lips and inhaling.
I extended the joint out to him, unsure if he smoked or not.
His large fingers delicately plucked it from my grasp. “I’m just not really where I thought I’d be,” he mumbled as he stuck the joint between his lips.
I tried to focus on his words—not on his mouth, or his long fingers, or the column of his neck as he tipped his head back and inhaled.
I didn’t want to think about how this would likely be the only time I’d have my lips over where his had been. It annoyed me how that thought even crossed my mind—it shouldn’t matter. It didn’t matter.
“I’m surprised you accepted the job,” I admitted.
“Really? Because I heard you’re the one who recommended me for it.” Leo laughed as he exhaled, blowing the smoke up and away. He took another hit before passing it back to me.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I defended, taking the joint back. “Wes found out I knew a chef, and I gave him your number. I didn’t think anything would come out of it. Last we saw each other, you were saying how you want to be head chef of a restaurant in the city.”
A small laugh escaped him as he leaned on his forearms. “The timing of Wes’s call and the interview was something else.
I got passed up for a promotion at my old job that I’d worked my ass off for.
Wes sold this opportunity pretty damn well, and I…
well, I think it could get me to where I want to be.
I’d eventually want to move back to the city, whether that’s Chicago, Portland, or somewhere else.
” He looked over at me. “I just don’t really want Wes or anyone to know since… ”
“Since Wes is your boss and you just started,” I filled in.
Leo nodded. “Exactly. And I like it here. Everyone’s been great. Ray’s been easy to get along with. Wes seems like a great boss. I never know what Louise is going to say next.”
“Look at you, surviving your first week at Lake Ridge,” I teased.
“Barely,” he said dramatically. “I think watching you chop those lemons and limes nearly did me in.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I said with a laugh, giving his arm a nudge.
His shoulders shook with laughter, more silence falling over us. “It’s just…” Leo started, swallowing before speaking again. “I don’t want to settle.”
“And you shouldn’t,” I agreed. My chest pinched in relief that Leo wasn’t going to stick around.
It meant this tension wasn’t forever. That got me thinking if maybe that meant there was no danger in exploring…
no. No. That was a line we shouldn’t cross.
“There’s nothing wrong with this being a stop for you. Small towns aren’t for everyone.”
“What about you? Have you ever thought about leaving?”
“That’s…” I brought the joint up to my mouth and blew out a huff of air, thinking through my answer.
I knew I could lie or deflect or change the subject…
but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be honest with Leo, because he’d been honest with me.
“I have. I’d like to travel, see more of the country and the world, but it’s tough.
My family and my business are here. I still, frankly, don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with the yoga studio at times, so leaving doesn’t feel right, and I know for a long time Cooper wanted to leave.
Growing up, he had this whole list of parks he wanted to visit and road trips he wanted to do. ”
While he’d sometimes talk about those trips with Wes, I remembered him making plans with Wes’s sister, Jade.
Lily, Jules, and I were convinced there was something going on between the two, but we couldn’t figure out what.
It didn’t help that Jade, who was a travel nurse, hadn’t been back in Golden Falls recently.
I continued, “I don’t know exactly what stopped him, but if I had to guess, he didn’t want to leave Gran and me.” And that he still carried a lot of grief over losing our parents.
Everyone says that you can’t compare grief, but it’s hard not to when I think about how losing Mom and Dad impacted me differently than it did Cooper and Gran.
Cooper had real, genuine memories with our parents that were undoubtedly his.
I barely remembered my childhood with them, and now that it had been twenty years, I didn’t know what memories of mine were real and which were stories I’d heard.
Ultimately, I returned to Golden Falls because I loved it here and it was where my friends and family were, but I’d be lying if I said Cooper’s desire to travel played no part in me coming back.
I didn’t know what his plans were, but if one day he woke up and decided he wanted to road trip to one of the national parks he wouldn’t shut up about, I wanted him to go do it and not give it a second thought. Gran and I would be perfectly fine.