14. Adrianna
Adrianna
"Little Gattina. Are you up?" Well, I guess he is still here.
I climb out of bed and open the door. "Don't call me that." I huff at him.
All he does is laugh at me and lift a foil container. "I brought you breakfast. Come on, let's eat." He moves down the hall toward the kitchen. "Table or couch?" He pulls down paper plates and slides a to-go coffee in my direction.
"Table." I slowly lift the coffee to my mouth. I love all coffee, but I really hope he didn't get me any of that sugary shit. I am pleasantly surprised when I taste my usual double espresso. "How did you know?"
"The other day at the coffee shop, I asked Augie what your normal drink order was. I double-checked with him this morning when I stopped to get them." He sets plates with a burrito and fruits down at the table. "Come on, Adrianna. Come eat." He pulls the chair out for me and raises his brow.
"Fine." I sit in the seat and he pushes it in. "Is Augie so forthcoming with people's orders? Do I need to change coffee shops? I am sure Pen will hate that."
"No, Augie is a friend of mine. He knew I meant you no harm." He raises his hands in a surrender motion, and I laugh at him. Sure, no harm—until I find myself falling so hard for him that he leaves me for the next girl or gets traded, and I have to start over somewhere else.
He taps the table in front of me. "Hey, where did you go?"
"Nowhere, I am good." I take a bite of the burrito. Happy when cheese, egg and bacon hit my taste buds. "Holy shit, this is good. Where did you order it from?" I shove a fork full of fruit into my mouth. It is the freshest fruit I have had this winter.
"I didn't order it." He takes a bite.
"You sure the hell didn't make it. Not in this kitchen." I wave my fork toward my kitchen and take another bite.
He laughs at me. "No, I definitely didn't make it. Gretchen made it. I picked it up from her this morning. She makes all my breakfast burritos. I keep them stocked at home, but I only had one left."
I nod at him because this tastes like something Gretchen would make. Last night, she had a way of seasoning everything, and it was all amazing.
"Speaking of groceries. Why don't you have any?"
I take another bite to avoid his question. There is no real reason why I don't have groceries. I could totally go buy some if I wanted. "It is just me. When I have dinner with Pen, we order out. There is no reason to cook a bunch of food for just me."
"Well, that won't do. I will have Gretchen double what she makes for me. That way, we have groceries." He takes another bite and is done with his food. God, did he inhale it or something?
"Wait, what do you mean we will have groceries? I don't need someone cooking for me, Luka. And there is no we."
"Why not?" He sets his coffee down and leans toward me.
"What do you mean why not? Because I am a grown woman and can make my own food if I want to."
"No, why is there no we? Give me a reason.
" I go to say something and he covers my mouth with his finger.
"A real reason. A reason that will make me ignore all I am feeling and walk out of this door without looking back.
" He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. He looks massive in my little kitchen set.
I think about it for a minute. Wonder if spewing some bullshit will get him to leave. Would sharing the uncertainties I have about letting myself be with him make him run? Will that be enough for him to walk away?
I lean back in my chair and mimic his position. "I am not sure where you see this going. Is this something you want to be serious about or something you want to just have fun with a couple of times? Fuck it out of our systems and then you move on. My answer will be based on what you want."
"I want you, anyway I can have you. Anyway you will have me, for however long you will let me. Forever, if I am allowed."
His answer makes my belly feel on fire, and my brain screams, "Yes! Yes, that is what we want."
"Okay, well." I move around to get comfortable in my seat; all of a sudden, it is hot as sin in here.
"I am scared of getting attached, and you decide you want a new shiny toy.
I know how athletes are. I know the schedule you keep.
The amount of time you travel. I am worried I won't be enough for you.
I am worried that people will think I am not good enough for you and that when you have a bad game, I will be the one who is blamed.
I am worried that the Rizzoli name will get you hurt.
I wasn't scared of the guns last night, Luka.
I was scared when the guys were telling the girls bye.
Like there was a chance that something would happen to them and they wouldn't come home.
I am worried that we will do this and fall in love and you will get traded.
I would follow you anywhere at that point.
I love the friends I have here and my job with Coleman.
I know I don't have family here, but I love the life I have had.
I am worried I will give you everything, and it won't be enough to keep you.
I won't be enough. That I won't be worth the risk.
" My chest is heaving. I can't believe I told him everything, but this is the moment that he will either show me that he is for real about what he says or that he walks away.
He stands up, taking his plate to the trash.
He doesn't say a word as I watch him walk over to the door.
My lungs won't work, I can't breathe, he is going to leave.
He is going to break me before we even start.
I close my eyes and wait to hear the door open.
I can't watch him leave. I hear the lock of the door and footsteps back toward me.
I feel his hands on my legs and I open my eyes to see him kneeling in front of me.
His brown eyes shine with something that looks a lot like love; it can't be love, though.
"I am not worthy of everything you are promising me.
I will probably mess up at some point. I have never done this before, But Gattina, you are worth everything.
" He says before he slams his mouth into mine.
I grip ahold of his shirt and pull him closer to me.
Feeling like I can't get him close enough.
I crawl off the chair, pushing him down in the process, and climb onto his lap.
We sit there for what feels like hours, exploring each other's mouths.
Hands in each other's hair. Grabbing each other's faces.
Holding on to the unspoken promises we just made to each other.
I am going to try my hardest to accept him, for everything he is, and he will try his hardest not to break my heart.
He will have to leave soon for practice, but I try to push that thought aside.
Knowing there will be times he has to go, days I won't see him.
I grab his hair and roughly use it to pull his head away from me.
"You are mine. No one else. No one gets to kiss you, touch you." He is nodding before I even get my sentence out.
"All yours." He says and takes my mouth again.
"And you are mine." I don't say anything and he bites my lip.
I pull back with my hand against my face.
"And you are fucking mine." He says again and I nod.
He stands and lifts me. My legs instantly went around his waist. He feels even bigger when he is carrying me back to my bedroom.
He allows me to slide down his body when he gets to my bed.
I swear I feel something odd when I brush up against him, but I am so lost in the moment the feeling goes away. He takes my face in his hands.
"I want you, Adrianna. Anyway, you will let me have you." He kisses me slowly like I will push him away. He pulls away some. He nips up my jaw toward my ear. "What will you let me do?" He whispers, and I know my knees have turned to jelly.
"Do?" My brain is mushed. I don't even know what he is asking me.
"Yeah, Baby, do." His hands move under my sleep shirt and his mouth trails kisses down my neck.
"Everything. Anything." I breathe against him and melt into his arms.
"Don't allow me that much control, Baby." He chuckles against me.
I open my eyes and look at him. For the first time in my life, I know what I want.
More than anything in this world. "That is what I want, Luka.
I don't want to have to think. I don't want to have to worry if what I am doing is right.
I just want to feel. I just want to be with you 100% and feel.
I want you to take control and let me do that. "
He runs his fingers over my lower back and then pulls me in tight.
"I can do that, Baby. When you are with me.
I will help you turn it off. You can be yourself and not worry about anything else.
" He kisses me and for the first time in my life.
I let go. I allow him to lift my shirt over my head, not worrying if he will see the imperfections.
He reaches behind his head and pulls off his shirt.
I run my hands over his abs and up his chest. My eyes laser focus on his chest. He has beautiful designs tattooed across his chest. I follow them over his shoulder and I can feel his skin jumping to my touch.
"Can I see the rest?" I know I sound like I am begging, but I want to see all of him.
You can't see any of his tattoos when he is wearing clothes.
I feel almost lucky to know I am someone that gets to see them.
He smiles at me and turns around. The design covers his back.
Family is written in beautiful letters across his shoulder blades. "They are beautiful."
He turns back around and runs his finger down my neck and over my shoulders.
"You are beautiful, Adrianna." He lifts me into his arms so we are face to face.
"If I do anything you don't like, tell me to stop, and I will.
If I push too far, tell me to stop, and I will.
I will take anything you give me. We don't have to do everything today. "
I nod to let him know I understand what he is saying, but I am too far gone to stop this. He sits me back on the floor and kneels down. He runs his hands up my side and cups my breast.
"Fucking perfect." I hear him mumble as he lets go and slides his thumbs into my waistband.
Sliding them back and forth across my stomach, he slowly pulls down my shorts.
I am standing in front of him, totally naked, and he leans back.
"You are fucking perfect." Before I can say anything, he is picking me up and tossing me into bed.
"I wish I could take all day to worship you, but that isn't an option today, Baby.
But I need to taste you." He covers my mouth with his.
Kissing me like he can't get enough like he wants to consume everything I am.
The crazy thing is I feel the same way. I press my nails into his back and pull him toward me.
He trails kisses down my body until his face is hovering above my core.
He looks up at me and gives me a smirk. "Mine.
" He says and then leans down and licks me.
My hips arch off the bed. It has been too long since I have been with anyone.
I have been too focused on my career and too focused on my life.
I didn't want to have to worry about adding another layer to it.
I realize Luka has stopped and looked down at him.
"Get out of your head, Adrianna. When you are with me.
You turn it off." I nod. Knowing he is right.
This has always been my problem. I can never shut it off.
Luka takes that moment to press a finger into me and I moan.
"Much better." He whispers and leans back down.
Before long, I felt a tingling sensation start at my neck and work its way down.
"Please don't stop, I am so close," I beg him.
Holding his head against me so he can't move.
Lights bounce in front of my eyes and I feel like every bit of stress has left my body.
I pull him up to me, not caring that he tastes like me.
I need to kiss him, to have him. He allows me to pull him down on top of me, and I wrap my legs around him.
I realize he still has his sweatpants on.
I start pushing them down with my feet and he grabs my ankle.
"No, Baby. Not today." What? My brain misfires. There is no way I heard him right. "Don't look at me like that. I don't need that today. I just wanted you."
"Well, I want you." I try to reach down and push on his pants.
"We can't, Baby." He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head.
"Why?" I lift my hips and rub against him. I can feel him against my core. He must have buttons on his pants because I can feel them, too.
"Because I didn't bring a condom with me." He grabs my wrists with one hand, takes the other hand and pins down my hips. "You need to stop doing that, Adrianna."
"You don't have a condom with you?" I am kinda shocked. Even my brother carries around a stack of condoms.
"It's been a long time. I didn't think this would happen today. I am sorry." He buries his head in my neck and smells my hair. "I promise I will buy so many of them you should buy stocks. But not today."
"Are you clean?" I hate to ask him that, but I do know athletes. He doesn't hide the sting he feels from my question.
"I am. We got tested with our first physical of the season.
" Well, I am glad he got tested, but that doesn't really answer my question.
I arch an eyebrow at him. "I haven't been with anyone since the end of last season.
" I don't hide the shock on my face, but that is a question for another day.
I pull my legs back up and push his pants with my feet again.
"I wanna taste you," I whisper his words against his ear and feel him shudder.
"Okay, Baby." He flips us over and I am sprawled out over his chest with my wrists still in his hands.
"Will you tell me if I do something you don't like?"
"Just you touching me is causing me to have my dick harder than it has ever been before.
You couldn't do anything I don't like." He lets go of my wrist and I take the opportunity to run my hands over his body.
I slide my hand into his pants. My eyes go wide when I realize that it wasn't buttons I felt.
He starts to chuckle. I feel like a kid in a candy store.
I just want to see it and taste it. I quickly move down his body and pull his pants off.
I take my finger and run it up the underside of his cock.
I mentally count as I run my finger over the silver bars. Five. Five fucking piercings.
"It's a Jacob's Ladder." I hear him say from above me. I don't really register what he is saying. I lean down and run my tongue over them.