22. Adrianna
Adrianna
The phone call with my Dad threw me off balance.
When I saw his name on the phone, I should have known it had something to do with the article Luka was telling me about.
He never calls me. I had a feeling it might be important information about my Mother or Brother, so I couldn't let it go to voicemail.
Somehow, allowing Luka to take control and not have to think about it has pushed off the panic attack that usually comes with talking to my Dad.
There is no way I will use my relationship with Luka to push his agenda.
It was the first time I had ever told him no.
I am sure he is preparing his rebuttal before he calls me back. He will probably make my Mother do it.
I lift my hips again, trying to get Luka's big body off of me.
"Stay still." He pins me with his body even more.
"I am comfortable." He snuggles his head into my neck and takes a deep breath.
I don't know how; no matter how much I didn't want it, he pushed his way into my life.
I don't think I want to imagine a life without him anymore.
I am sure there will come a time when he decides being with me isn't worth it anymore.
The poor girl who can't talk to her Dad without having a panic attack, who wants to please everyone, who knows she isn't good enough.
Until then, I will enjoy this ride we are on together.
"I need to clean up, Luka." I lift my arms to try to get up again.
He huffs into my hair and rolls off of me.
"Let me do it." He gets up and walks into my bathroom.
I can hear the shower start and he opens some cabinets.
I sit up and start undoing the belt. I am shocked that I love the fact that he likes to use it.
He makes me feel so good that I love that he uses me to do it for himself, also.
I am pulling the belt free when he walks back into the room.
"I said I was going to do that." He grips my wrist to stop the belt from falling to the floor.
"Sorry." I look down, hating I upset him.
He grips my chin between his fingers and lifts it. "Don't do that. I am not mad. I just wanted to take care of you, Baby. That is my job." He bends down and lifts me into his arms.
I twirl his belt as we walk into the bathroom. A thought comes into my head as I drop the belt to the floor. "Do you always use the belt?"
"Hmmm." He sets me on the floor and checks the water temperature.
"Do you always use the belt with the girls you were with before?"
"Never." He looks at me and runs his hands over my waist. The red mark is still there, but it didn't cut into my skin like it had my wrists. "I don't know what made me do it. I don't have to do it. It's not something I need." He runs his fingers over the red marks. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, I like it. It didn't hurt. I like it when you have full control like that. It helps me turn off my brain."
"With all the girls before, it was just sex.
They knew it." He tips his head back and sighs.
"This is coming out wrong. I wasn't an asshole about it.
We just both knew what it was." He runs his finger over my cheek.
"Everything about you is different. Everything with you is different.
" He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him. "Please believe me."
"I believe you." We step into the shower.
I pick up my phone while Luka gets dressed. I have tons of messages. Most from my father but a few from my brother.
Baby Bro:
You are dating Luka Rizzoli?
When were you going to tell me?
Seriously Addy. Dad is going to eat this shit up.
I roll my eyes. He definitely knows our Dad well. Ignore his messages and open my Dad's.
Dad:
We better figure out how to spin this
Do you even know who he is...
Tons of messages come through. Pictures of news articles about Luka's family.
Links to different stories about their dealings with criminal organizations.
Dozens of images of Luka with a different girl on his arm.
Walking into various events, sitting with them at bars, walking down the street with them, taking them into hotels and what I am assuming is his apartment.
I am scrolling photo after photo when the phone is ripped out of my hand.
"What the fuck is this?" Luka starts scrolling through the phone, and with each passing second, his face gets more and more stern. "Your father sent you all of these? Why? Why would he do that?" He throws my phone on the bed and takes my face. "None of them mattered, Baby. None of that matters."
"I know," I whisper. I could only imagine what life was like for him when he went pro.
I thought I knew what it was like, but seeing it played out is something else.
My father knew that. He knew that he would hurt me with those pictures.
I turn my face so he can't see the tear that falls silently down my face.
It's stupid. He is here with me. I don't know why I am upset about it.
"No, Baby. No." He wipes his thumb across my cheek. "Please. Tell me what to say. What can I do?"
"It's fine, Luka. I don't know why I am upset. You never hid who you were before. It doesn't matter." I shake his hands off my face.
"It matters because it upset you. I can only imagine the rage I would feel seeing you with someone else.
Even if it had been years since you had been with them.
Seeing you hold hands with someone else, having your arms around them, would drive me mad, Baby.
So it's okay you are upset. But please don't push me away. "
He is right. My father did this because he thought it would make me play nice.
Luka was ready to lay his life on the line at the warehouse, but my father would hurt his family to get ahead.
"I am not pushing you away, Luka. I will not let him do that to us.
" I run my hand over his cheek and then lean up and kiss the side of his mouth.
I grab my phone from the bed, open up my Dad's contact and mute him.
I don't even want to talk to him right now.
"Come on. I promised Paige and Payton I would take them to get ice cream today. You are coming with us." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the front door.
"Is Coleman going?" I hear the sharpness in his voice.
"Why would Coleman go?" I slide into my boots.
"I don't know; you guys seem close, is all."
"No, I just like helping him with the girls. Their mom isn't the greatest."
"Oh, I know. Coleman's wife is a cheating piece of shit."
We took the girls to get ice cream, and they convinced Luka that we needed to go to the mall to get shoes.
"You don't need a new pair of shoes, Paige." Payton whines. "I don't want to go to the mall."
"Let's go to the mall and get your sister a new pair of shoes and we can go into that weird black light store and grab you something, Payton." Luka throws his arm around her shoulder while he holds my hand.
"Fine." Payton rolls her eyes and shakes Luka off of her.
"I think you need the blue pair." Payton pushes a pair of heels my way.
"I don't need another pair of shoes, Payton." I push the heels back at her.
"Payton, do you think Adrianna needs these shoes? Would these shoes make her happy?" Luka looks at Payton and smiles.
"Definitely!" Payton smiles.
"Then we will buy all the shoes." Luka smiles and grabs the shoes before I can stop him. "You have five minutes to grab as many shoes as you can in Adrianna's size that you think she will like." He looks at the twins and smiles. "Go."
They both dash through the store, grabbing boxes of shoes and throwing them on the counter. "You don't need to do this, Luka." I pull at his arm.
"See their faces? I haven't seen them smile so much all day." He looks at the girls and he is right. They are both laughing and smiling. "To see that look on their faces and yours. It's totally worth it."
An hour later, we are walking out of the mall. I have 14 new pairs of shoes, Paige has three pairs and Payton has bags full of emo clothes.
"Thanks for a great day, Luka." Payton tries to wrap her little arms around Luka's body. I stare at them in shock.
"You let me know if you girls need anything. Right?" He squeezes her and then Paige.
"Right." Payton nods.
"What was that about?" I lean against him while we watch the girls run into the house.
"When we were looking in that weird ass store, she told me that her parents are fighting a lot.
I guess her mom is yelling at Coleman. She started throwing things last night.
I told her to call me if she needed me to come get them.
Not that I don't think Coleman will handle it.
" He opens the door for me and I slide in. He rounds the car and gets in.
"Thanks, Luka. We had a great day."
He picks up my hand off the center console, kissing my knuckles. "Anytime, Gattina."