Chapter 12
Twelve
Amanda
I slap my hand over my mouth as I try to stifle my laughter.
“I’m telling you. I laughed so hard I was crying,” Rowan says through sputters of her own laughter.
“Please tell me you got pictures?” Corie asks her sister-in-law.
“No, I was too busy laughing.”
“That’s one for the baby book for sure,” I tell her, and she nods her agreement.
“So, tell us again, I was laughing too hard the first time,” Sloane says, wiping tears from her eyes.
“What she said.” Eden nods. “It’s worth repeating.”
Rowan giggles like a schoolgirl and launches into her story for a second time.
“Ella had been fussy all day. It was bedtime, and she needed a bath. Landry volunteered, the good daddy that he is, and instead of putting her in her tub, he just got into the shower with her. He’s done that a few times, claiming the skin-to-skin is good for her, and I’ll never tell him he’s right. ” She grins.
“Anyway, so he’s in the shower holding her like she’s a little koala, talking to her in that ridiculous baby voice he pretends he doesn’t use. I’m in the bedroom folding laundry, and I can hear him narrating everything. ‘Okay, Princess, we wash the toes. We love the toes. The toes are fabulous.’”
Corie snorts because we all know what’s coming next, and it’s just as funny the second time.
“I should’ve known something was coming when it went quiet,” Rowan continues, grinning.
“I hear him shout my name like he’s been mortally wounded.
I open the b-bathroom door,” she sputters, “and there he is, soaked, shampoo in his hair, our daughter in his arms, and this look of absolute betrayal on his face. And Ella? She’s smiling. Smiling for the first time all day.”
“Here it comes,” Sloane wheezes.
“Literally,” Eden chimes in.
“Been there,” I say, but I’m still laughing my ass off at this story.
“It took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on. I thought one of them was hurt, but as I stepped further into the bathroom, I could see it and smell it.” Rowan stops, her body shaking with laughter.
“Shit. Everywhere,” she wheezes. “Landry was holding her to his chest, eyes wide, and looking like a lost, injured puppy. He had one hand on the back of her head, and the other cradling her bottom, which was filled with shit,” Rowan finishes, and the room once again erupts in laughter.
Eden bends forward, clutching her stomach. “Stop. I can’t breathe.”
“And he says, completely serious, ‘Rowan, I thought we were bonding.’ He was shocked that his perfect little girl shat all over him.” Rowan wipes her eyes. “I lost it. I laughed so hard I had to sit on the toilet lid for support.”
Corie shakes her head. “That’s what he gets for multitasking.”
“I told him that’s what skin-to-skin really means,” Rowan adds sweetly. “Very organic bonding.”
The laughter starts all over again, echoing through the room as Rowan wipes under her eyes. “I swear,” she says, still grinning, “I’ve never loved that man more.”
“My big brother is a good daddy,” Corie coos.
“They all are,” I speak up. “You’re all lucky to have them.”
“Ethan was a dick,” Sloane says, taking a sip of her drink.
“Yeah, but he wasn’t always,” I tell her.
“He changed,” Bellamy agrees. “He was never overly affectionate, but he was nice at one point in time.”
“He never looked at me the way your husbands look at each of you. We were young, and looking back, it was the idea of the life we would build. I loved him, but that love faded, and we stayed together far longer than we should have.”
“There’s no shame in fighting for your marriage,” Eden tells me.
“I know,” I say quietly, tracing the rim of my glass. “And I did fight. For a long time. I just think… at some point, you’re not fighting for the marriage anymore. You’re fighting against yourself. I failed.”
The table goes silent for a beat. I keep my eyes trained on the half-empty glass in my hand to avoid their gaze. I hate that my marriage failed. I hate even more that the man who was supposed to be Mia’s father bailed, and now, she’s only got me. My heart breaks for my little girl.
Sloane reaches over and squeezes my hand. “That doesn’t make you a failure.”
“It feels like it,” I admit, lifting my head to face my friends. “You all have these men who look at you like you hung the moon. I used to wait for Ethan to look at me like that. I kept thinking if I just loved him harder, or tried more, that he would love me like that.”
Bellamy sighs softly. “Sometimes people grow together. Sometimes they grow apart.”
Corie nods. “And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is let go.”
I blink back the sting in my eyes, surprised by the wave of relief their words bring.
“I hate it for Mia. He was supposed to be with me through all of this. I don’t miss him.
He was never around at the end, and divorce was the right answer for us, but Mia deserves a dad.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being selfish.
That I decided to do this on my own. What if a loving family of two adopted her instead of me? ”
“Oh, no. You can stop that right now, Manda,” Bellamy says, her voice stern.
“Let’s start with the fact that Mia’s birth mother chose you.
She knew you were going to be a single mom, but she saw something in you.
The adoption agency saw something in you.
They knew that little girl needed you as her mom. ”
“Bellamy’s right,” Rowan says. She glances at Eden. “I can say with confidence that I would have given anything to have had a mother like you. Even if that meant there was no dad in the picture.”
“Me, too,” Eden says gently. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that family is what you make it.
You’re proof of that. You love that little girl with your entire being, but you don’t share DNA.
I know you want her to have a dad, and honestly, I believe she will one day.
I never imagined I’d find the kind of love I have with Foster, but here I am.
” She smiles softly. “He’s out there, Amanda.
You’re just not ready for him yet, and I truly believe that. ”
“What she said.” Corie points at Eden.
“Yeah, that,” Sloane says, wiping at her eyes.
For the first time in a long while, the weight on my chest feels a little lighter.
Maybe ending something doesn’t mean you failed.
Maybe it just means you finally chose yourself.
I chose myself and my daughter. Together, we’re a family, and the ladies in this room are my family, too. “I love you. All of you,” I say, clearing my throat.
“We love you, too,” the five of them chorus.
“Okay, so now we have something else very important to talk about,” Corie announces.
“More important than your brother getting shat on by your adorable niece?” Sloane quips.
“Yep, but that’s definitely a close second.” Corie grins.
“What’s up?” Bellamy asks her.
“Family vacation. Hear me out. We’re a family.
All of us. I want our kids to grow up together.
I want the memories and the moments, and I want all our families there.
I say we plan a trip to the beach, or even the mountains.
Wherever, but we’re all going. No excuses.
” She gives each of us a pointed look. When her eyes land on mine, she points an index finger at me.
“That includes you and Miss Mia. No arguments.”
I let her acceptance wash over me. I’m not surprised, but I do want to relish the feel of having a tribe of people behind me. “I have some vacation time,” I admit.
“Perfect. Now, we need somewhere kind of private so the guys don’t get bombarded, and it needs to happen soon-ish, before camp and all that,” Corie says, talking excitedly with her hands.
“Love this idea!” Rowan says, grabbing her phone from the table. The rest of us do the same, starting to search for options.
“Got it,” Eden says, wiggling in her chair, holding up her phone to show us, before pulling it back in to read from the screen.
“Five-acre private beach resort in Florida.” She goes on to read that it’s a small island and the house is surrounded by tall gates, which offers privacy and all the amenities for a private vacation setting.
“It has six bedrooms, which is perfect,” Eden reads. “Here, I’ll send you all the link.”
A few seconds later, our phones all chime, and we’re pulling up the listing. “Wow,” I breathe, already knowing this vacation is going to eat away at my savings, but I want the vision Corie painted. Mia might be too little to remember, but a picture is worth a thousand words, right?
“This is perfect,” Bellamy squeals.
“Right?” Rowan agrees.
“Guys, they have an opening in two weeks!” Corie says. “Memorial Day weekend. Can we make that work?” she asks.
“I can make that happen,” I tell her. My job is really flexible, and I’ve got talent lined up for the next three months. I like to work in advance. I even have some booked out further, but I can take a week off and everything be okay.
Everyone takes turns saying they can go. Bellamy jumps up and rushes to grab her purse for her credit card. “I’m booking it,” she tells us.
“What about the guys?” I ask her.
Sloane waves her hand in the air. “They’re all in. It’s the offseason. They can skip a week at the gym. Besides, this place has a gym. The description says it sleeps twenty; that’s more than what we’ll need.”
“Well, all right. Let me know how much I owe you,” I tell her.
“Us, too,” Rowan tells her.
Bellamy waves her hand in the air. “We’ll work all of that out later.”
I know my best friend is going to try to pay for this for me, and I can’t let her. Besides, we’re splitting it six ways, which definitely makes it more affordable.
“I say we drive instead of fly,” Corie suggests. “We’re going to have too much to take with the kids.”
“That’s a good idea. It’s what, eight or nine hours to drive?”
“Yeah, something like that,” Eden says, already checking on her phone, and nods. “About that with stops and stuff.”