Chapter 19
Nineteen
Will
As soon as her car is parked, I hit the button to close the garage door and rush to collect Mia out of her seat. She’s still sleeping peacefully, and I hate that we have to move her again, but she’ll be more comfortable in a bed than strapped into her car seat.
“Thank you,” Amanda says, grabbing the diaper bag and following me into the house.
“I’m going to take her up to Coral’s room,” I tell her.
She nods, setting the diaper bag on the kitchen counter before trailing behind me up the stairs.
In Coral’s room, I keep two beds. Her old baby bed and her big-girl bed that sits low to the floor with a little fence around it.
It’s not really a fence, even though that’s what it looks like.
It’s more like a gate. I figured Bellamy and Reid might end up having more kids, so I kept it.
That’s where I lay Mia down. She lets out a soft, contented sigh and thankfully doesn’t wake.
I switch on the baby monitor, then lace my fingers with Amanda’s and guide her across the hall to my room. Once inside, I set the monitor on my nightstand and turn on the feed. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch the small tilt of Amanda’s lips.
“Come here,” I say, pulling her into my arms. I wrap her up in a fierce hug. “It’s hell not being able to touch you when we’re all together,” I confess.
“Thank you for coming today, and for Mia’s gifts. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be the one to extend the invitation. I mean, I could have told Bellamy to, but then I worried she’d catch on, and yeah.” Amanda sighs.
“It’s fine, babe. I knew we had plans together after, but when Bellamy called, no way was I turning down the opportunity to be there.”
“I’m glad you were there,” she says, snuggling into my chest.
Closing my eyes, I breathe her in and just feel. Feel her arms around me, the way her body fits perfectly next to mine. I forget about how we’re hiding this from my daughter—a very important person in both of our lives—and I’m just here in this moment with her.
When I feel her hands slip underneath the back of my T-shirt, my eyes pop open, and I stare down at her. She’s already peering up at me under those long, gorgeous lashes. “Are you waiting for me to tell you to stop?” I smirk. “Baby, you know that’s not happening.”
“No?” she asks, her tone light. “What about if I did this?” She moves her hands beneath my shirt, around to my abs, and lifts the material. I don’t hesitate to grab the fabric and pull it over my head.
“It doesn’t matter what you do, I won’t stop you.
This is how I see it. You’re mine, and I’m yours.
The moment I made love to you, everything changed.
We might not be telling the world about us yet,” I add, giving her a look that says we will be telling the world, “but right now, it’s just me and you, and your hands are on me, baby, that’s a win no matter what. ”
“No matter what I do, huh?” she asks.
I spread my feet, hold my arms out to my sides, and meet her gaze, willing her to see in my eyes and hear it in my voice when I tell her, “Do your worst, beautiful.” There isn’t a single thing she could do to me that I wouldn’t like.
“What if I tell you that no matter what I do, you’re not allowed to touch me?”
“I would never do anything you didn’t want.”
“Oh, that doesn’t mean I don’t want your touch, Coach,” she says, and this time she’s the one who’s smirking. “But I could tell you not to. Would you listen?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s test that theory. No touching,” she says as she drops to her knees.
“Oh, fuck,” I mutter, and her laughter fills the room. It’s light and musical, and fuck me, I’d do anything to make her laugh like that every single day for the rest of my life.
“You doing okay?” she asks as she makes quick work of unbuttoning my shorts and pulling them over my hips, letting them fall to the floor. I kick them away, not giving a single fuck where they land.
“I’m perfect,” I tell her as she grips my cock through my boxer briefs.
“Yep.” I nod, my eyes glued to her, anxiously awaiting her next move.
She doesn’t make me wait long when she slides her hands beneath the waistband and gently tugs, careful of my hard length.
My underwear hits the floor, but I can’t worry about them when my girl wraps her fist around my cock and strokes.
“You doing okay, Coach?” she teases, smiling up at me. Those big green eyes of hers are bright with happiness. Seeing her like this, my cock in her hand, her eyes smiling as big as her lips, has my knees weakening.
“Perfect,” I croak.
“Hmm, I guess I need to try harder.”
“What are you trying to do exactly?” I ask. My brain is foggy.
“Get you to go back on your word that you won’t touch me.”
“I’ll never break a promise to you, Mandy. Never.” I gaze into her eyes, willing her to trust me. I hate that she lost her ability to trust because of her asshole ex, but I’ll keep showing, keep proving to her every day of fucking forever if she lets me, that she can trust me.
She doesn’t say anything, but her hand never stops moving as she strokes my cock. My arms fall to my sides, and I fist my hands to keep from reaching for her. I’m a man of my word, and she needs this. She needs to know she matters, that I will always respect her choice.
“Do you want me to stop?”
I huff out a laugh. “No, baby, I don’t want you to stop. Let’s just clear this up now. You can touch me anytime you want, in any way that you want. Your hands on me, that’s not something I will ever refuse,” I tell her.
That earns me a shy smile. “I’d never touch you in a way that would hurt you, Will.”
“You’re hurting me now,” I tell her. She freezes. “Not being able to touch you,” I clarify, and she shakes her head.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she playfully scolds, continuing to stroke me.
“I know what you meant, and that thought never crossed my mind. Now, tell me, are you going to spend Mia’s entire nap stroking me, or do I get to kiss those lips?”
“It’s a late nap for her. She’s never going to fall asleep tonight.” She sighs, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to the tip of my dick, and I groan.
“I’ll stay up with her, and I was thinking my lips against yours, but that”—I nod toward my cock and her mouth that’s so close I can feel her hot breath—“works, too.” I nod, and she tosses her head back in laughter.
“I’ve never laughed during sex.”
“You weren’t with the right man.”
“And are you the right man?”
“I’m your man. That makes me the right one.”
That must have been what she wanted to hear, because the next thing I know, my cock is buried in the back of her throat, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to remain standing.
My fists are clenched so tightly at my sides that my hands ache from the pressure, but I hold strong to my willpower and don’t touch her.
While I keep my hands to myself, I do watch her.
I’m not even sure I blink as I watch her gag on my cock, over and over again.
It’s not until she peers up at me with those big green eyes and those long lashes brushing against her cheek, my cock in her mouth, that I reach for her, but I catch myself.
“Let me,” I pant.
My cock falls from her mouth with an audible pop, and she wipes her face with the back of her hand. “Let you what?”
Let me love you.
Instead, I say, “Let me touch you.”
“How?”
“What?” I ask, my brain still foggy from the heaven I felt with her mouth wrapped around me.
“How do you want to touch me, Will?”
“Everywhere, Mandy. I want to touch you everywhere. My lips, my mouth, my cock, every inch of my skin pressed to yours. I want it all.”
Her face is blank as she climbs to her feet.
She wobbles just a little, and I put my hand out to catch her if needed, but I still don’t touch her.
Once she’s steady, she reaches for her tank top and pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor.
She works her way through every item of clothing she has on, until we’re both standing in my bedroom, naked.
Her chest rapidly rises with each breath, as does my own. Still, I don’t move. I wait and let her tell me what she wants, what she needs, and then I’ll be the man to give it to her.
She moves toward my bed and climbs up onto the mattress. “Show me,” she says, her voice husky and laced with desire. “Show me what you want to do to me.”
“Fuck yes,” I say, before crawling over top of her on the bed.
My arms hold my weight as I kiss her, taking my time.
I get lost in the kiss, keeping it slow, even though I want nothing more than to devour her, but I won’t.
Not tonight. Something is happening. I can feel the shift.
The connection that tethers us together is growing stronger, and this isn’t just sex. Not for me, and not for her.
Amanda reaches between us and grips my cock, guiding me inside her, and I push my hips forward, sinking in as far as I can go.
“I wanted to take my time,” I tell her, trailing kisses down her neck and over her breasts, sucking a hard peak into my mouth.
“I can’t wait any longer. I need you, and I don’t know how much time we have.” Her voice is breathy, and her nails dig into my back, while her words hurt my heart.
My entire body goes rigid. “We talked about this,” I say, trying my damnedest to keep my tone even. “We’re in this. You and me. Right?” I ask. I don’t know how I’ll handle it if she backs out on me now, after I’ve fallen head over heels in love with her and her little girl.
She cradles my cheeks, and I melt into her touch. “Mia, babe. I meant Mia. I don’t know how long she’ll stay asleep.”
“Thank fuck,” I say, dropping my forehead to hers. “I thought you meant this was ending, and Mandy, baby, I don’t want this to end. I know it’s going to be tough, but we’ll get through it together.”
“We’ll tell her,” she assures me. I’m sure she can see that worry etched all over my face. “I promise that we’ll tell her. I just need a little more time. Please.”