Chapter 22 #2
“I’m a big girl, Dad, but considering who you’re fucking, you already knew that,” she spits before tearing back the curtain and rushing out of the small space.
“Go. Go after her,” Amanda tells me.
Leaning down, I press a soft kiss to her lips. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her, before rushing after my daughter.
“Bellamy!” I call out, seeing her walking toward her vehicle in the parking lot. I run after her. Thankfully, she stops once she reaches her SUV. “I’m sorry.”
She glares at me. “What exactly are you sorry for, Dad?”
“For not telling you sooner.”
“Right, and what about the fact that you’re sleeping with my best friend?”
I rub my hands over my face, trying to find the words to make her understand.
“I loved your mother,” I tell her. “The two of you were my world, and then things started to shift. I admit that I put more time into my job than I should have, but I was trying to make a better life for the three of us. Somewhere along the way, that love changed. It’s still there.
I will always love your mother because she gave me you. ”
She continues to glare at me, so I keep talking.
“It’s not like one day we decided this is what’s going to happen.
It was slow.” I spare her the more intimate details.
“We both tried to fight it, but the pull was too strong. I love her, Bellamy. I love Amanda, and I love Mia, and I love you. I know to the world, even to you, that being together might be wrong, but it doesn’t feel wrong.
I don’t see Mandy as your best friend, Bellamy.
I see her as the woman who snuck in when I wasn’t looking and gave me a second chance at love.
At a life I thought was no longer possible for me.
I know where I fucked up the first time, and I won’t do that again. ”
“So, what? Mia is your second chance to be a present father?” she asks, and I can hear the pain behind her words.
“No, sweetheart, this is my second chance with you. The one we both fought hard for. Nothing will replace that. I didn’t fight hard enough to push you to take your visits with me when you were younger.
Your mom even told me I should make you, but I never wanted to upset you.
That decision is one I’ll regret until the day I take my last breath.
Not a day has passed since your mother told me she was pregnant that I have not loved you with my whole heart.
I thought I was helping, but instead, it just made you hate me more.
I’m sorry for that. You allowing me back into your life, to be there when you married Reid, and had Coral, those moments are precious to me. ”
She still doesn’t speak, just cries quietly, listening, so I keep rambling.
“Maybe it’s because I’m older now, and I can see more clearly my mistakes.
I don’t know, but I do know that I’ve never felt romantic love like this.
That’s not a dig at your mom,” I add, just in case that’s how she takes my confession.
“She found Cliff, and she’s happy. I can see it in her eyes every time I see her these days, and Amanda puts that same sparkle in my eyes.
I don’t have to see it for myself to know that it’s there.
I can feel it in my chest. In every touch, every whispered hello or goodbye. ”
Bellamy sniffs, wiping at her tears, but she remains quiet. She’s also not trying to leave, so I forge ahead.
“I could stand here for hours and tell you I love how her nose scrunches up when she laughs. I love how patient and loving she is with Mia. I love how she cares about you as much as I do. I love her strength, her kindness, and the way her hand feels against mine.”
She shuffles her feet, and finally, she lifts her eyes to meet my gaze.
“She’s been making herself sick all week.
We planned to tell you tomorrow night at dinner.
” Her mouth falls open just a tad, telling me I’ve shocked her.
Even though I told her this in the room, I’m sure the shock was too much to comprehend what I was saying.
“We shouldn’t have waited to tell you, but what would we have said, Bellamy?
I can’t stop thinking about her? That I craved being around her?
That I worried about her getting home safely when she would leave me?
How would that have gone over? You still would have been mad.
At least now, I can stand here as a man and tell you that I’m in love with her.
Not just that I have feelings for her. That woman in there, she owns my heart, and I know it’s not just hers.
I know Mia comes with her, and I want her, too.
Not for a redo, but because she’s a precious little girl who doesn’t have a daddy, and I can be that for her. I can be that for both of you.”
“You should go back inside,” she finally says, wiping at her cheeks again.
“I don’t want you driving upset. Please stay.”
“You left the game.”
“I did.” I nod. “I let my career ruin my marriage. It cost me time with you that I’ll never get back. I’m a smart man, sweetheart. I learn from my mistakes.”
“I need to go.”
“Are you okay? Let me drive you.” I don’t want to leave Amanda, but I can see that she’s okay. At least I hope she is. My heart is torn right down the middle, and I hate it.
“I’m fine,” she says. “I need some space from both of you.”
“Will you text me when you make it home, or to the stadium or wherever you’re going? I just need to know you’re safe.”
“Fine,” she says, hitting the button on her key fob to unlock the doors.
I watch her as she drives away. I don’t go back inside until I can no longer see her taillights, and when I do, my feet feel as though they’re filled with lead.
I wave to the ladies behind the counter and point toward the door.
This time, they unlock it without questioning if I have the right to be here.
I find Amanda where I left her, worry written all over her face.
“Where is she?”
“She needed some space,” I tell her, pulling up a chair and taking her hand in mine. I kiss the back of her knuckles and peer up at her. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. Sick about Bellamy finding out like this, but I’m okay. I’ve been feeling blah all week and not resting. I’m sure that’s all this is. Just a bug and dehydration.”
“You didn’t tell me you weren’t feeling well.”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
Before I can answer, a woman in a white coat—I’m assuming the doctor—slides in behind the curtain. “Hello, Amanda, how are you feeling?”
“Better,” Amanda tells her. “My best friend made me come get checked out, but I’m fine.”
“I’m Dr. Hannah.” She offers me a hand.
“Will Warner. Amanda’s boyfriend.” The doctor doesn’t seem fazed at that, and I can’t help but sit up a little straighter. It’s the first time I’ve gotten to claim her, to tell anyone that she’s mine without worry. Fuck, that feels good.
“Nice to meet you. Amanda, I have some test results. Is it okay to speak freely, or should we have Will step out of the room?” the doctor asks.
“He can stay.” Amanda smiles at her, then at me, and relief washes over me. Whatever this is that caused her to pass out, we’ll face it together.
“It seems that congratulations are in order. Amanda, you’re pregnant.”
Pregnant.
My eyes find Amanda’s, and they’re filled with shock and panic. I don’t know what she sees in mine, but I hope it’s love, surprise, and happiness.
We’re having a baby.
“What?” Amanda sits up in the bed, her mouth wide open like a fish as she stares at the doctor. “How? I mean, I didn’t think I could have kids.”
I bring Amanda’s hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles.
We didn’t think this could happen, and I was fine with that, but fuck, now that I know we made a baby, I want this.
I want them. This is exactly where we are supposed to be.
I feel that deep in my soul. This is the path we were both supposed to take.
“Were you tested?” Dr. Hannah asks.
Amanda glances at me, worry still etched in her brow.
“I love you,” I whisper, because my throat is thick from the emotions welling inside me. Her eyes soften, and her shoulders relax just a little, but I see it.
“Well, no, but we tried for so long, and my ex-husband cheated on me and got his mistress pregnant. That’s why I assumed it was me.” She swallows hard. “Are you sure? I’m really pregnant?”
“I’m sure. Sometimes these things take time.
If there is any distance, anger, or stress in life, that oftentimes can also prevent pregnancy.
The human body is a beautiful thing.” She smiles.
“I’m going to discharge you with a prenatal vitamin and instructions to follow up with your obstetrician. Do you have any questions for me?”
“She passed out. Why?” I ask.
“More than likely, hormonal changes. Amanda also mentioned she’s been stressed, not sleeping well, and feeling nauseous.
All things that could lead to passing out.
Speaking of, I also called in a prescription for the nausea.
It’s a very low dose, and it’s not harmful to you or the baby.
Take them as you need them, and be sure to discuss with your OB at your first visit. ”
“Thank you, Doctor,” I say as she steps out of the small area, pulling the curtain closed. I stand and lean over the bed, pressing my forehead to Amanda’s. “We’re having a baby,” I say, and I can hear the happiness in my voice. I don’t need to see it to feel it. My heart feels too big for my chest.
“I’m sorry,” Amanda says. “I didn’t think I could.” Her voice cracks, and her tone is pleading, as if she’s worried I’m upset about the news.
“Don’t be sorry, Mandy. This is our baby.
Our little miracle.” I place my hand on her flat belly.
“A piece of both of us.” Fuck, this isn’t my first time finding out I’m going to be a father, and just like the first time, this is a surprise, but I’m older and wiser, and I know the gift we’ve been given.
“You’re not mad?” she asks hesitantly, her voice cracking. Her eyes hold mine, but they’re filled with worry.
“Mad? No, baby, I’m not mad. I’m thrilled. Stoked. Mia is going to be a great big sister, and Bellamy, too. She’ll come around,” I tell her. She has to. There is no other option. I can’t lose any of them.
I have everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I thought I’d never get a second chance for again, and I don’t want to lose any of them. My daughter, my granddaughter, my son-in-law, Mandy, Mia, or our baby. I want them all. I want to be surrounded by love and laughter, and my family.
“We’re having a baby,” Amanda whispers as the nurse comes in with her discharge papers.
“Let’s get you home, Momma,” I tell her, helping her from the bed and out to my SUV. “Who has Mia?”
“I’m not sure. I think Sloane or maybe Eden? They were there with Knox’s mom and his two sisters and offered to watch her.”
Before I can get my phone out to call Baker or Foster, it dings with a message from Reid.
Reid: We have Mia. She can spend the night with us.
Me: We’re leaving the ER now. We can come and get her.
Reid: Let her stay. Bell needs some time, and Coral loves it when Mia stays over.
“It’s Reid. Mia is at their place. He wants to know if she can spend the night. Bellamy needs some space.”
“I packed lots of extras in the diaper bag, and I know Bellamy has a few things there, as well, so I guess that’s okay if they’re sure.”
Me: You sure it’s okay? We were coming to get her.
Reid: I think Bellamy needs this.
Me: Okay. We’ll be by to pick her up in the morning.
Reid: Okay.
That’s it. Nothing about the bomb that was dropped on my daughter, just that she needs time, and that’s fine.
I’ll give her the time she needs, but I won’t do what I did before and let her hide from me.
We’ll face this head-on like a family, and I’ll fight to keep all of them in my life, because without them, I’m nothing.