Chapter 15
Zenia
It was two o’clock by the time Sawyer pulled back into the driveway. I’d found a refrigerator full of food and made smashed turkey burgers and homemade Greek fries. I was starving. I didn’t feel right eating without him, so I was glad he was home. I rushed to the door to greet him as he walked in.
His brows met, but he smiled as he pulled me into a hug. “You happy to see me, mama?”
I laughed a little as I settled into his embrace. “I guess I am.”
“I’m not mad at it. I’m not used to coming home to someone missing me, even though I’ve only been gone for a couple of hours, but I could definitely get used to it.”
“I missed you, but I’m also hungry. I wanted to wait for you so we could have lunch together.”
“Aw hell, you cooked? I’m glad I didn’t stop and grab something for us to eat. The only reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t sure if you had already eaten.”
“I’m glad, too, because I was going to be pissed if I waited for you and you had eaten already.”
“Come on, mama. I kept you waiting long enough. You know how I feel about you eating.”
Sawyer released his hold on me, slapping me hard on my ass as I turned to head to the kitchen. He followed closely, detouring to the refrigerator when we made it to the kitchen.
“You made sweet tea, mama? You were dead serious when you said you were going to spoil me, huh?”
“Oh, you’re easy. I like that.”
“Hell yeah, I’ll be easy for you. What you want me to do, mama?” he asked, removing the pitcher and filling two glasses before walking around the counter and putting them down.
“Show me where you want to eat so I can serve you.”
“Ooo shit. Is this what living with a woman is like?”
“You’ve never lived with any of your other girlfriends?”
“Hell no. We had sleepovers and even an occasional extended weekend, but they knew not to pack a toothbrush.”
I laughed. “You’re so bad.”
“You asked.” His grin was so cute as he took his seat on the stool.
I’d been waiting for him to get home to assemble the sandwiches, so after putting them together and adding my special sauce, I put Sawyer’s plate in front of him.
“How did the meeting go?” I asked, walking back over to finish making my plate.
“Who said I had a meeting?” he quizzed.
“I just assumed. You said you needed to talk to Reed. I figured you needed to see him in person.”
“It was cool.”
“Did you talk to him?” I asked carefully.
“Yes, and don’t worry; he knows not to tell anybody that he knows where you are.”
“Do you trust him?”
“I do,” Sawyer said before biting into one of his sandwiches.
“I don’t, but I trust you,” I told him as I walked over to sit next to him.
“Good,” he said, kissing the side of my head before returning to his meal. “This is good as fuck, by the way. I don’t know what all this is on these fries, but it works.”
“Thank you.”
We ate lunch over small talk about a little bit of everything. He reminded me about the movie he picked out that I fell asleep on. I reminded him that he wouldn’t even watch the movie I suggested. Once we were done eating, I reached for Sawyer’s plate, and he swatted my hand down.
“I’ll wash dishes later, Z. You cooked,” he said, grabbing my plate and taking them both to the sink.
“OK.” I agreed.
It was refreshing that he wanted to pitch in. Sawyer had done more than enough for me, but I wasn’t going to turn down letting him wash dishes.
“I’m about to brush my teeth. Can I have you for dessert?”
His question made me blush. I rolled my eyes to try to hide it, but there was no use.
“You go pick something for us to fall asleep watching. I’ll be right there.”
“It’s the middle of the day.”
“It don’t matter what time it is. I can’t watch TV on a full stomach. I want to eat you until I’m satisfied and pass out right after. The TV is just for background noise.”
I shook my head. “Ridiculous.”
As promised, Sawyer pleased me with his mouth until I could barely stand it before sliding up my body and falling asleep on my stomach. I stroked his hair, nodding off to sleep myself. He looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake him up, but I needed to clean myself up.
My whole bottom half was wet after he ate my pussy and ass like he hadn’t just had a whole meal. I made quick work of getting myself together, but when I made it back to the living room, Sawyer was already sitting up on the couch.
“Come here, mama,” he said, extending his arms for me to walk into them.
I walked over to him, settling against him as he pulled me into his lap. It felt so natural to let him wrap his arms around me and nuzzle his nose into my neck.
“I know you’re angry with Reed, but he wants to help me fix this. He’s worried about you.”
“It’s mighty convenient that he’s worried now.”
“I don’t think he realized the gravity of how his decision would affect you. I still told him I was going to kick his ass.” He chuckled.
“I wasn’t as angry at him about choosing someone else as I was about how everyone looked at me differently afterward.
I was a prize before he told the world he didn’t want me.
Every man in the organization looked at me like a trophy.
Then suddenly, I wasn’t even a consolation prize.
It was like they all suddenly realized that I was defective.
After a while, I started to believe them.
I hated him. I hated the whole system. I even hated myself. ”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t know.”
“There has never been anything wrong with you, Zenia. It’s the men behind that whole organization who are fucked up.
You’re more than a trophy for me. You’re the remedy to whatever the hell has been wrong with me all this time.
You’re the heater to my stone-cold heart,” he vowed before kissing my cheek.
“I know that the way they do things is fucked up. Now I hate that I’m stuck in their sick and twisted game. Even more, I hate that I got you involved. I should have told you who I was so you could have run for the hills when you had the chance.”
“I probably would have still been sitting right here holding you. I don’t scare easily, mama. You’re right. They’re all fucked up in the head. They made you think less of yourself so they could benefit from it. It’s even more fucked up that your own father was the ringleader of your destruction.”
“I’m so sorry for all of this. When I came to Cashville, I planned to kill Reed. That’s why I had the pills. If they didn’t work, I was going to cut his throat.”
“Well, damn!” Sawyer said, bugging his eyes. “I’m glad he wasn’t there then. I don’t know how well our relationship would work with you behind bars.”
“I wasn’t going to jail. You witnessed the second half of my plan.
When the whole thing fell through, I didn’t know what to expect.
All I knew was that I didn’t want to do anything that I thought would burden you any more than I already had.
Seeing your face at the hospital showed me that you cared enough to be affected by my absence.
I didn’t want to put my death on your conscience, so I decided to fight for my life for a change. I’m glad I did.”
“Promise me something, Z.”
“What is it?”
“Never stop fighting for your life. No matter what happens, don’t give up on yourself.”
“I won’t,” I vowed.
“I’m about to tell you something, and I don’t want you to say anything back. Even if you have the urge to, I don’t need you to say anything. Promise me.”
My brows met in the middle of my face as he spoke. “What is it?” I asked.
“I love you. I don’t know why it happened so fast. The feeling hit me so quick and hard that I feel like I got whiplash.
I don’t care about time and space. All I know is that I love you.
I need to tell you that because I have to leave in about an hour.
I have a long drive ahead of me, and I won’t be back for a couple of days. ”
“I don’t want to be alone right now, Sawyer.”
“I know, but it’s something I have to do. You understand that.”
“I do.” I nodded.
“Do not leave this house, under any circumstance, until I come back for you, Zenia. If I don’t make it back, Nicholas has instructions on what to do. I want you to take the duffel bag at the top of my closet, go with him, and never look back.”
The lump in my throat almost prevented me from responding. “Sawyer, what do you mean if you don’t make it back? What are you going to do?”
“Everything in my power to make sure you’re safe.”
“I can’t let you do something that will take you away from me, Sawyer.”
“And you can’t stop me from protecting you, mama. That’s the only thing I want to do right now.”
A sob escaped my throat, and I didn’t bother to try to suppress it. Sawyer held the back of my head, pulling me into his chest as I cried. He kissed my forehead and repositioned himself until he was lying on his back with me on his chest.
Through my tears, I spoke up and said the one thing I knew he didn’t want me to say. “I love you too, Sawyer. You better make it back to me.”
A weighted blanket made me feel super cozy as I considered if I should try to get up or let myself go back to sleep. The last thing I remembered was crying myself to sleep in Sawyer’s arms. When I opened my eyes, the room was pitch dark, but I could tell I was in Sawyer’s bed.
I lay as still as possible once I realized that he was probably gone. The only thing I wanted to do was go back to sleep. My heart broke all over again as I thought about him never coming back. This was absurd.
My growling stomach won the battle of wills, making me get out of bed.
The clock on the stove indicated that it was almost eight.
I must have really been knocked out. There was a box on the table with my name scribbled on top, so I walked over and opened it.
Inside was a box of macarons and a flip phone.
I opened the phone and found that there was only one number programmed in it. It had to be Sawyer’s number. I resisted the urge to call him in exchange for popping a cookie in my mouth. They were even better than I remembered.