Chapter 16
Can I tell you a secret?
Annie
Despite the chaos that just happened with Tara, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Ben made some kind of statement about us, publicly, right after he expressed his feelings to me…in private.
“You’re blushing.” Kit ribs as we cross the street.
I bite my lip. “Sorry. I can’t help it.”
“Don’t be sorry, I don’t blame you. A guy who’s gonna claim me in front of an audience, especially if he’s as hot as Ben, I’d be blushing, too. And for the record, I am not the kind of girl who blushes.”
An unsettling thought pops up out of nowhere, and I test the waters even though I’m not sure I want to know the truth. “How long have you two known each other?”
“Pretty much my whole life, and before you even ask, no. We’ve never slept together, not even close.
” She shudders. “He’s like the brother I never had, and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to open Bar Someday.
” I must look confused. “He technically owns it, but it’s my bar, hence the decor.
As soon as I have enough money and good enough credit, I’ll buy him out. ”
I hum. “I didn’t know that. Then again, there’s a lot I don’t know.”
“Oh, you’ll get filled in soon enough. If not by Ben, then someone else around here will happily spread the gossip. One thing I can tell you right now is that you don’t have to worry about Tara…just feel sorry for her,” Kit assures me.
I already pitied her because I can relate. I know what it’s like to want Bennett Lawson and the crushing pain of him not wanting you back.
Once we arrive at the back of the building, I unlock the bolt, then prop the door open with my foot. “Well, it was unnecessary, but thanks for walking me home.”
She leans in for a hug, and I’m shocked by the strength in that little squeeze—Ben wasn’t lying. She steps back and waits until she has my full attention. “I don’t know all the details, but after what happened, I’ve never seen him so messed up, and it had nothing to do with the shooting.”
“But I—”
“You came here for his help, but then he kind of forced your hand to stay. He obviously wants you here, Annie. I’ve never seen him like he was with you tonight. You don’t know me, and you don’t owe me anything, but I’m still gonna ask you a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t stay if you’re only here because he’s keeping you safe.”
For a second, I’m offended. “You’re working, so it’s not the time to explain myself, but—”
“I’m not asking for that, seriously.”
“For what it’s worth, the guy who was stalking me is dead. I’m already safe, Kit, so that’s not why I’m staying.”
“Good.” She pulls her phone out of her back pocket. “We’ll do a girls’ night soon, and I’ll actually show you all that Matchbook has to offer.”
“Parker’s funny, but I still can’t believe it took me that long to realize who he was.”
She rolls her eyes. “Parker’s good at making women think he’s someone he’s not. What’s your number? I’ll text you mine.”
There’s definitely a story there. I rattle off my number, and a second later, my phone dings. “Thanks again.”
“Anytime. See ya soon!”
I go to my loft and straight to the window so I can make sure Kit makes it back.
Once she’s safely inside, I unlock my phone to program her number, and when I do, I notice an email from Willa.
I take a breath before opening it, and when I read she wants me to come in tomorrow to finish the paperwork, I do a little happy dance before replying.
I reach to close the curtain but do a double take. I think there’s a guy under the streetlight by Burger & Biscuit. I blink, but when I look again, he’s gone.
Meow, meow. Joan Wick wakes me up, and I pull the covers over my head. Meow, meow.
“Stop. It’s too early.”
She hisses in protest.
Groaning, I toss the sheet off my face, then hear a vibration on my nightstand. Shit. “Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Ben?”
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Are you expecting another man to call you this early?”
I sit up and put my feet on the cold, hardwood floor. “No, sorry. I’m just tired. What time is it?”
“Almost six. Did I wake you?”
“No,” I say quickly.
“Liar.”
His playful voice is almost as good as his dominant one. Almost. “Are you always up this early even though you work at a bar?”
“Yeah. Open your curtains.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to see you.”
Rushing out of my bed, I climb down the ladder and sprint to the ledge, then pull the curtain panels to the side. I can see his silhouette behind his window, but the early morning sun makes it hard to discern his face. I don’t know if he can see me or not, but I still smile when I say, “Hi, Benny.”
“Mornin’, Blue.” He leans into the glass, much like he did last night when I was against the door.
Which reminds me…
“Did you deal with her?”
“I did,” he sighs. “But I don’t want to talk about her.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“You don’t want to know what’s on my mind right now,” he retorts gruffly, “but I want to know what’s on yours.”
“Something happened last night.”
He chuckles. “A lot of things happened last night.”
“You know what I mean,” I whisper.
“Oh yeah. I know exactly what you mean.”
That voice makes me squirm. “It was big, wasn’t it?”
“It was.” He clears his throat. “I’ve been waiting for this, ya know.”
My heart skips a beat. “You were?”
“Yeah…and I’m realizing how wrong I was before,” he says thickly.
“Wrong about what?”
He sucks in a breath. “You.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper.
“Yeah.”
There’s something so intimate about the way we’re talking. “I’ve always been right about you.”
“Annie, fuck…” he groans.
Several long seconds pass, and I can hear the faint sound of his breathing and see the slight rise and fall of his shoulders, but that’s not good enough anymore. I’m bold with my next question because I refuse to live another day hiding any part of myself. “Want to come over for breakfast now?”
“Yes. But I’m not going to.”
Disappointment races through me. “Why not?”
“It’s too soon.”
My voice is breathy now. “It’s not. I want you to come over now, Ben. Why won’t you?”
“Because there’s absolutely no way I can be alone with you and not strip your clothes off and kiss every curve of your body, taste how sweet you are.
Hear you moan and cry and scream my name.
All before you spread those thighs and beg me to sink inside you.
” I hear him swallow, and I have to cross my legs. “I saw that.”
“Saw what?”
“Your legs, you squirming. Does that turn you on, Annie? Make you wet?”
I’m the one who swallows now. “Ben…”
“What’s the matter? Too shy to say the words? Not ready for me to tell you all the things I want to do to that sexy body of yours?”
I want that…I want every single thing he said. “I am.”
“You are what, Annie?” His voice loses a bit of the earlier heat. “You don’t have to say what you think I want to hear.”
“I want you.”
“I need you.”
I pinch my eyes closed when I confess, “I’m wet.”
His voice rumbles with satisfaction. “Touch yourself.”
“I…I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I don’t want him to stop, but… “I’ve never.”
“You’ve never, what? Touched yourself?”
“Not like this. With someone listening, watching.” But that person being Ben excites me more than it scares me.
“I’m gonna watch a lot, so you’ll have to get used to it. But tell me, gorgeous, how do you normally get yourself off? Outside your panties? You wear my hoodie, don’t you? You rub that sweet spot and think of me until your legs shake?”
My legs are shaking now. My heart is racing. And I swear, just hearing him talk is going to give me an orgasm. “Ben.”
“Answer me.”
“I, yes. And other things…”
“Other things…like your toys? I saw them when I packed your stuff, Annie, you know I did. They’re pink and little. Were you too afraid to get a big one ’cause you’re so small down there?”
I should be mortified that he knows that, but all it does is excite me, thinking about him using them on me. “Yes.”
“You’ll have to stretch to fit all of me, but I’ll go slow. I’ll take my time. I can’t wait to get in there and feel how slick and snug you are. Fuck,” he hisses.
“Ben, I’m…” I gasp. “I’m so close…”
He sucks in a breath. “I cannot wait to watch you later. I’ll tell you what to do, and I’ll make it so good, I promise. You’ll let me watch you touch yourself, right? Maybe I’ll touch you, too. We can both slide a finger inside to feel how wet you are at the same time.”
“Oh God.” I have to do something, or I’m going to scream at the pressure between my legs. I lean my back against the wall and move my hand down, but he growls my name.
“Get away from the window.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to risk anyone else seeing you. Go to your bed and make yourself come, but use a toy or rub outside your panties. I want your pussy to stay empty until I’m there to fill it.”
The sun has risen higher, but I still can only see his silhouette. And what I see takes my breath away. “Oh my God. You…you’re…”
“Jacking off. Fuck yeah, I am. Christ, Annie, I’ve never been this hard before.”
“I’ll go to my bed if you will,” I challenge, feeling possessive of someone else seeing him stroking himself.
He immediately moves, and I follow suit.
I jump up the rungs, then dive into my bed and immediately put my hand between my legs over my panties. I hear some movement on his end, then the fast, rhythmic sound of him stroking himself, and I moan. “Ben.”
“Annie.” He grunts. “Fuck, I’m gonna come already just hearing you moan. You close?”
“Yes. So close…” His rhythm gets faster, and so does mine. My hips are gyrating, and I’m out of breath, and then it happens. My back bows, and I push up to my toes as a wave of ecstasy rolls through me. “Oh my God. Ben!”
“That’s right, baby. Fuck.” He groans long and deep, and I could have sworn I felt the rumble through the phone.
I see stars, and my legs tremble uncontrollably as my thighs spasm.
It lasts a while, and it takes a minute for my back to hit the mattress and our breaths to even out before he whispers, “Damn hell. You good, Blue?”
I hum. “Um, I’m better than good.”
“Damn.” His voice gets tight. “If it was that good over the phone, I can’t imagine how great it’ll be when I’m inside you. I don’t know if I can wait all day to get my hands on you. I fuckin’ hate to do this, but I have a meeting to get to. You work tonight, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Come to the bar again tonight. We didn’t get a chance to talk about it yesterday, but I want to hear about your new job. We’ll grab a table and have a couple of drinks while you fill me in.”
The fact that he thinks of things like this is simply amazing. “Okay.”
“Can’t wait to see you, sweetheart. Call me when you’re on the way home from work.”
I have someone to come home to at the end of the day, someone who will be waiting for me.
He wants me to come to him…he wants me. The reminder nearly brings tears to my eyes, and I get a tickle in the back of my throat.
So instead of telling him how much that means to me, I’m only able to croak, “Okay, Benny.”