Chapter 2
2
Giselle
H umming.
A low, distant humming sound filled my ears.
Then there was beeping.
And bleeping.
Everything had been so—peaceful. And now—and now, it wasn’t.
Voices.
Familiar voices.
And.
A baby’s cry?
My eyes fluttered open to see—
Carlo.
Holding Marcello.
Marcello was fussing in Carlo’s arms. And Carlo was trying to feed him a bottle.
“No,” I said, but I wasn’t sure I’d actually said the word.
Or any word.
My mouth was dry and sticky. And my lips and tongue felt heavy.
Carlo’s eyes darted to mine. The bottle dropped from his hand—but the baby stayed in his arms. Thank goodness.
“Oh, thank fuck.” Carlo rushed to my side. I was in a bed, surrounded by machines. All of them bleeping and beeping and humming their own particular beat.
“Thank fuck, Giselle. You’re back.” His free hand slipped behind my head, and he brought his lips to my forehead. “Fuck, you had me worried.”
I was—back.
But I didn’t want to be.
I wanted to be gone.
I’d been fading out.
So, so peacefully.
I felt the life drain from me slowly.
And it was so perfect.
So wonderful.
No pain.
No worries.
No monsters.
No having to hide and protect.
Just—drifting away.
Into nothingness.
And now—
Now, I was back.
I turned my head from side to side as pure and utter—devastation and dread filled my body.
I did not want to be here.
I’d had the perfect ending.
I’d escaped the monster.
I saved my babies.
And had given Carlo his son.
My purpose on this Earth was over and done with.
“No, no,” I started crying. But it sounded more like a rasping sound.
“Yes, you’re back with us. Thank fuck, you’re finally back. You scared the shit out of us. Christ.” His lips kissed my cheeks, and then he carefully touched his lips to mine. “I love you. And I’m so glad you’re back.”
I was back.
“No, no, I can’t be. I was gone. I was gone,” I whimpered, the grief of my situation shooting through me.
“No, no, no,” I repeated over and over again.
The baby started crying louder. Carlo’s confused face hurt my heart.
It hurt so bad.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
I was gone.
I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. And no one could hurt me.
But now I was—back.
“No, no, no. I don’t want to be here. I was gone. Not here. No, no, no.” I shut my eyes, trying to turn off the world, and go away.
Away from here.
Away from everywhere.
More voices filled the air. I didn’t care.
I never wanted to hear another voice.
I just wanted to float away.
Into nothingness.