5. Chapter 5
Chapter five
SEBASTIAN
Noah fell asleep in my arms a little while ago after struggling to stay awake.
I would have kept tasting his perfect lips all night long but he needed the rest, his body slowly giving out even as his mind was whirring.
I had forgotten how perfect he felt pressed against me, how much I craved moments like these when it was us against the world.
When Kurt told me that he was marrying Heath, I had thought it was a joke.
We had just deployed and Noah hadn’t been seeing anyone.
Months later and he was hitched? It didn’t make sense.
However, Noah seemed happy the few times I called him during the first year.
And then I started hearing the change in his voice, the wobble in his words as he tried to paint the perfect picture.
He may not remember but there were nights he answered, drunk off his ass, talking gibberish about his future and that he missed us.
I’d sit there and let him drone on, just wanting to hear his voice like a lovesick puppy.
It was so fucking obvious that Heath and him hadn’t worked out and that Noah was spiraling but halfway across the world, there wasn’t anything we could do.
Learning that he also just lost Ronny hurts because he’s been dealing with all of this shit alone, and I know if none of us said anything, he wouldn’t have reached out. Noah has always been stubborn like that but it’s eating away at him. Slowly, but surely.
However I’m here now, maybe a little too late, but I’m not letting Noah slip through my fingers again.
I’ve already wasted too much time.
I press a kiss to his forehead, sighing into his hair. He’s not close enough. Noah grunts in his sleep before his eyes snap open, focusing on mine. “You’re still here,” he breathes, a sloppy smile spreading across his face. “Kurt will be home soon.”
I grimace, the sound rumbling through my chest. “Noah, I get that he’s got a temper. I do. I’ve seen it in full force but you’re more important than whatever his reaction is. Even if he told me to my face that you were off-limits, it wouldn’t stop me being in this bed right here with you.”
His face turns a beautiful shade of crimson. “Please tell me that my brother didn’t do that.”
He did. Multiple times. Unbeknownst to Noah, he caught me walking out of Noah’s room once and threatened to tear my dick off.
He’s made it clear to all of us that his brother is off limits and I still don’t fucking care.
He doesn’t own me or his brother. And while it might be something against bro code, I still don’t care. The heart wants what it wants.
Noah releases an irritated groan into my chest. “I can’t believe he told you guys that.”
“More like threatened and I still don’t care. The only thing stopping us from being more than just acquaintances, is you. I will be here regardless, but know that if it was my choice, you would be in my life 100%.”
He leans back just enough, his brown eyes meeting mine in the dim light before he says only two words. “Prove it.”
I’m not sure what he’s expecting but if he wants me to show him how I feel about him, I’ll be more than happy to do just that.
And that’s when I see the pain lurking in his expression, his need to forget, to disassociate with everything else.
If he needs me to be a distraction, I’ll be more than happy to.
“I got you, babe,” I purr into his ear as I roll him onto his back.
“I’m going to show you how you should have been loved.
How you should have been touched. I’m going to help you remember what it was like when it was just us and then hopefully, I’ll be the one you call next time when you need out of your head. ”
“I—that’s not—”
“If this is the only way that I get to have you, I’m not complaining.
” I dive in for another kiss, devouring his mouth as my hand moves between us to drag down his boxers.
He moans into my mouth, a sound I greedily swallow as I wrap my hand around his cock, slowly stroking his length until he’s squirming beneath me for relief.
He wraps his arms around my neck, fingers sliding into my hair as he kisses me back like his life depends on it.
He’s definitely running from everything else in his life, but I don’t care because he’s finding comfort in this moment with me. Selfish as it is, I hope it’ll help him remember just how good we are together.
“Noah,” I murmur, against his lips, “you’re so damn beautiful like this.
” His lips part, a faint flush creeping up his neck, and I can’t resist leaning down to kiss his jaw, traveling lower until I suck the sensitive flesh between my teeth.
He arches against me, his cock still firmly in my hand.
Some part of me wants to watch him fall apart like this.
The other part needs to be inside of him as he finds his pleasure.
Releasing his cock, I step off the bed to shove my pants down the rest of the way, admiring the man on the bed.
My feelings for him started way before he even knew I existed.
He was never just Kurt’s little brother but that attraction didn’t manifest into a relationship until it was basically too late.
And now, I’m back, cataloging every last muscle across the expanse of Noah’s chest, soft knicks and scars where they didn’t used to be.
I climb back onto the bed, settling between his thighs as I trail my fingers down his chest, watching the way his breath hitches when I brush over his nipples, then lower, past the taut plane of his stomach.
He’s already shifting beneath me, restless, and I smile softly.
“Patience love,” I whisper, as I dip my head to kiss his jaw, his throat, and then the pulse fluttering there.
“I’ve got you.” Reaching over to his night stand, muscle memory locked in, I find the small bottle of lube tucked into the drawer.
There’s no words shared between us as I move to rest on my side, dragging one of Noah’s legs across my hip before dipping my finger beneath him to reach that puckered hole.
A delicious gasp falls from his lips as he arches toward me, his entire face scrunched up with pleasure before I hear the one word that nearly breaks me.
“Please.”
I’m going to fucking kill Heath and every last demon swirling around in Noah’s head. I don’t care if it’s impossible, but I’m not letting the world hurt the man I’m desperately in love with. That thought has me pausing, even as my fingers start working Noah open.
In love?
I always knew I liked Noah, maybe obsession was a better word. But love?
I glance down at the man in my arms, his lips parted, ecstasy written all over his face.
Yeah, I guess it is love, isn’t it? Unable to help myself, I kiss him again, sliding a finger into his ass, soon adding a second one, Noah rocking himself against me.
“That’s it,” I breathe, against his lips, “you’re perfect, Noah.
So perfect for me.” My fingers curl just right, and he arches, a soft moan spilling from him, his hands gripping my shoulders.
I can’t wait any longer—I need him, need to feel him around me, to lose myself in him.
I ease my fingers free, and he whines at the loss, but I’m already there, pressing myself against him.
“Look at me,” I say, my voice thick with emotion as I catch his gaze, those brown eyes locking with mine.
“You’re everything, you know that? Everything I’ve ever wanted.
” And then I’m sliding into him, inch by inch, my soft touch a contrast to the raw intensity building between us.
“I want to watch you fall apart on my cock, Noah. I want to hear my name on those lips and know that it’s because of me that you’ll find release. ”
The words I’m speaking are foreign to me but I mean every last one.
I keep us on our sides, slowly fucking into his ass, cherishing every last moan and whimper he gives me, his cock rubbing against my stomach.
My hands frame his face, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones, and I can’t stop the words tumbling out.
“You feel so good, Noah—so right. I could stay like this forever, just you and me.” His legs wrap around my hips, pulling me closer, and I thrust deeper, my lips finding his again as I murmur against them, “You’re mine, sweetheart. My beautiful, incredible man.”
Every roll of my hips is a promise, every kiss a vow, and as his breaths turn ragged, I feel him start to unravel, his body shuddering against me.
“Let go for me,” I whisper, my voice breaking with the growing passion between us, “I’ve got you, always.
” And when he does—when he trembles and cries out beneath me, his release coating my stomach—I follow, lost in him, my heart pounding as I hold him close, our bodies tangled in the sweetest kind of chaos.
If he thinks I’m going to let him go, he has another thing coming.