36. Chapter 36
Maryn
We reached a row of transport bikes, and I stopped.
Calden grinned, a dimple appearing in his cheek. “It’s the only transportation on the island unless you want to walk.”
“But… only men are allowed.”
His smile vanished, and I stilled.
“The rules of polite society don’t exist here. Not when you’re with me.”
My stomach flipped. I glanced between him and the bike, wrapping my arms over my chest.
“Would you rather ride with me?”
Heat climbed up my cheeks. The question wasn’t really about the bike.
I took a step back. “I’m matched.”
His gaze darkened. It was the wrong thing to say. Or the right one. I wasn’t sure anymore.
He ran a hand down his thigh, moving to stand beside the first bike. “Come. I’ll show you how it works.”
I took an unsteady step forward. He tapped the handle, and I wrapped my fingers lightly over it.
He stepped in behind me, his heat pressing into my back, and guided my other arm across to the second handle.
His lips grazed my ear as he leaned over me, fingers curling over mine around the cold metal.
“Twist like this.”
I shuddered, trying to focus on the sound of the bike as it purred to life, on his instructions. Anything other than his breath on the shell of my ear as the hairs on my neck stood on end.
“Now, put your right foot on the stand.”
I lifted up until my left foot grazed the ground.
Calden mirrored my movement, placing his right foot on the stand, and my traitorous body pressed into him, my pulse spiking.
“Hold on.”
“What?” I craned my neck to look back as his left arm came around my waist, his hand squeezing mine.
The bike surged forward, and I fell against him, heat exploding across my chest and up to my cheeks as my body mapped the shape of him pressed against me.
“Calden! No!” I screamed, but the bike was already gliding at full speed along a dirt path.
I gripped both handles for dear life as we zigged and zagged, greenery blurring by. My heart tripped in my chest when several men in black flew past us, going the opposite direction.
Had my hood hidden my face? Did it matter on an island tucked away from the rest of the world?
We slowed, the bike stuttering to a stop. I wrenched my hands from under Calden’s, stumbling off the bike, crashing into a broad tree trunk.
He approached with the feline grace of a man who had done nothing wrong.
I whirled on him. “How could you be so careless with me?”
His dark eyes widened in surprise, and he halted. “You were in no danger.”
I shook my head, blinking several times. “Maybe not physical danger.” I let the unspoken words hang in the air.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. The sun had crested the horizon sometime between our arrival and now, framing him in a golden halo. He almost looked angelic, even with his features obscured by shadows—or perhaps because of them.
“Maryn.” He took a step toward me. “I control the cameras. No one sees what I don’t want them to.”
I stilled. “It’s how you get out of your house on Mondays.”
He nodded, stepping closer.
I looked up into eyes that searched my face for any sign that I believed him. Trusted him.
“What about the guards?”
His lips quirked. “They get leave from the island once a year. By the time anyone who saw us told someone, you would be long married to your prince.”
I didn’t miss the bite in his words, but the hardness in his face melted away as he lifted a hand, sliding my hood down.
I leaned into the touch.
No cameras. The thought was freeing in a way I never dared to be. What would it be like to do something just for me? Just once.
His hand rested on my shoulder, fingers twisting around a lock of my hair and he tugged it up to his nose, eyes sliding closed as he inhaled.
“I—” I backed up, shoulders bumping the trunk behind me. “Can’t.”
He hid nothing from me, the disappointment plain as he let his hand drop, stepping back.
The bark dug into my back.
He was quiet for a moment. Then he moved, closing the distance once more, fingers wrapping lightly around the side of my neck.
I didn’t move, my heart tripping over itself.
“Here.” His thumb pressed a point just below my ear. “If you’re ever trapped.”
I breathed in his scent, whiskey and lake air, and forgot for a moment what I was supposed to want. He was close enough that all my senses came alive. I should have backed into the tree, ripped his fingers from my throat. His thumb slid lower, tracing a line along my neck.
“A blade across tender flesh, or a quick, deep jab. A man doesn’t get back up.”
His eyes found mine.
He dropped his hand, taking several steps back, moving onto the path. “The field Nami works is just over the hill.”
A chill swept through me, and I inhaled two deep breaths. Her name was the bucket of ice I needed. Now wasn’t the time. I was here for Nami.
I followed, drawing my hood up.
As we marched over the next hill, lines of yellow painted the landscape in tidy rows, swaying lazily in a light breeze. Surrounding the stalks were massive walls stacked in layers.
Calden looked back, meeting my eyes for the first time since our near kiss.
“The domes are raised before acid rainstorms.”
Ahead, women in tan tunics spilled down long rows carrying baskets. They chopped the tops of stalks, continuing along their paths. I searched their faces, gaze roving over heads covered by tan bonnets.
I inhaled sharply when I spotted thick brown curls spilling down the back of one of the women, unwilling to be tamed.
“Nami!” I rushed forward, Calden tight on my heels.
She looked up, shielding her eyes, and a wide grin broke over her face.
I crashed into her, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist and burying my head in her shoulder. “I thought something terrible had happened to you.”
She squeezed me back. “I’m okay.”
I released her, stepping back, holding her hands. “They said you were sent to the farm, but I had to see for myself.”
She smiled. It was warm and genuine, just as I’d remembered.
Her grin slipped. “What are you doing here?” Her gaze shot past me to the shadow at my back. “You could be eliminated… if they found out.”
I gripped her fingers. “I’ve heard women who are—” I bit my lip. “Women who are unable to have children are sent outside the wall.”
Her gaze shot to Calden again before returning her focus to me. “I was lucky.”
I frowned, glancing back. Calden stood several feet behind us, tapping his tablet screen, seemingly ignoring us. I pulled her with me, walking away until I was sure we were out of earshot.
“What happened? Did your father speak up for you?”
She laughed dryly, shaking her head. “No. He would never risk his position by speaking up for a barren woman.”
I frowned. Surely a man with two sons could afford to try.
“But you’re well? Safe here?”
The corners of her mouth lifted. “Of course. I’m so grateful the Covenant gave me a purpose. I’m useful here.”
I nodded, brows dipping. “That’s good. That’s really good.”
She squeezed my hands. “I have to get back to work. Please, Maryn, don’t worry about me.”
I searched her face. The corners of her eyes were creased—tired—but her smile was genuine. Life on the farm was a far cry from the Lower, and what other options were there for women in her position?
I pulled her in for another hug, breathing her in.
“Thank you,” she whispered, “for making sure I was okay.”
I nodded against her hair. “I wish things were different.”
She tightened her hold. “In another life. A better one.”
***
I stood at the crest of the hill, watching the women move through the rows.
“It could have been worse for her.” The words came out before I’d decided to say them.
Calden looked up from his tablet.
“There’s a facility. Where they run tests on women. Elias took me there.”
His jaw tightened. “Prick.”
“He says he’ll put a stop to it.” I watched a woman disappear between the rows. “When he’s president.”
Calden moved toward me, stopped. Something passed across his face that I couldn’t name.
“Come on. We need to get back.”
My fingers twitched toward my bare wrist. I squeezed them and followed.
When we returned to the boat, I settled against his shoulder, eyes drifting closed before the island had disappeared from view.
I woke hours later, sticky from humidity, the hood and sleeves of my black coat warm to the touch. I registered his shoulder under my cheek a half second before I straightened, putting space between us on the bench.
The sun had surpassed its zenith and was making the long trek toward the horizon once more.
In the daylight, sunlight sparkled across the lake, white waves crashing over its surface.
Overhead, a seagull spread its wings wide, dipping low and diving beneath the waves.
It emerged moments later with a fish caught in its yellow beak.
I smiled.
“About an hour to go,” Calden called over the howling wind.
I didn’t look at him. I wasn’t ready for whatever his face would tell me after hours of my weight against his shoulder.
I should be grateful to him for giving me the thing I needed most—answers. But another part of me, a part that had been growing these weeks since I’d entered the Center, burned hotter. He had no right to dangle alternatives in front of my face. No right to give me the illusion of options.
The shore came into view, buildings taking shape on the horizon. We slowed, and the boat rocked, making my stomach flip.
Calden reached into his pocket, tugging out his tablet, and ahead, metal doors slid open.
In moments, we were inside, the boat gliding over calm water and gently touching the slip before coming to a stop.
Calden jumped out, bringing a rope with him that he tied off expertly. I watched him, something bitter rising in my throat. What would it be like to have his status, his access, his freedom?
He leaned down, holding out a hand.
I took it as he hefted me up, my legs like jelly, and swayed into him before I could find my footing.
Backing up, I tugged my hand free of his and stumbled along the path to land.
He caught up to me, tucking his arm through mine, catching me before I nearly tipped into the water. “Careful.”
I lifted my chin, but didn’t pull away a second time.
When we reached his car, I collapsed into it, resting my head against cool fabric. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since I left my house for my date with Elias, and even though I’d napped for several hours on the boat, exhaustion was tugging me down.
I blinked twice, eyes sliding closed before the car pulled out onto the street.
“Maryn.”
Gentle hands shook my shoulders, and I stared blearily around in the dark. “Are we home?”
Calden smiled. “We are. Can you make it through your window?”
I nodded, reaching for the door handle.
“Perhaps it would be better if you went through the front door.”
I shook my head groggily. “The alarm.”
His grin widened. “I can take care of that.”
A less tired me would have questioned that, but I only groaned. “Housemates.”
“The window, then.”
I sighed, meaning to reply, but before I could, my door was lifting, and Calden appeared, reaching across my lap to unbuckle my belt. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me up.
His arms were solid around me, his heartbeat steady under my cheek. I felt safer than I had any right to. Just for a moment, the weight I’d been carrying since we left the farm lifted.
“No. Let me go.”
I pulled away, some of the fatigue dissipating. This wasn’t the farm. Here, there were consequences for my actions.
I straightened, looking around before moving to the wall beneath my window and reaching overhead. The dark and his black coat were the only things keeping him hidden in the shadow of my building.
The ledge was just out of reach. I jumped, catching it.
A sound behind me that might have been a laugh made my grip falter, and I dropped to the ground heavily.
I jumped again, catching the ledge and straining to pull myself up. My weak muscles shook before I dropped to the ground once more.
I spun around. “It’s not funny.”
He sobered, a hint of a smile tugging the corner of his lips. “Let me help you.”
I squeezed my hands into fists at my sides.
“Someone could look out their window at any moment,” he reminded me.
A chill ran into my veins, kicking my heart rate up.
“Fine.”
He stepped forward, but instead of reaching down to lift me up or wrapping his arms around my waist, he reached into his pocket. “Here.”
A bolt of ice shot through me. I’d nearly forgotten.
I lifted a shaking arm, sliding the coat sleeve back, and Calden looped a blue ribbon around my wrist.
“Why did you have that with you?”
I pressed my lips shut, wishing I could take the words back.
He finished tying the bow and looked up. “I had planned to use it.”
Something fiery erupted in my chest. Who for? The question formed before I could stop it, but I buried it.
“I see.”
“Ready?”
I nodded, and he stepped forward, gripping my hips tightly. Heat of a different kind burned my insides. He lifted me until my fingers caught the ledge, and I hauled myself up.
Calden pulled himself up beside me.
My mouth hung open.
He smirked, but said nothing as we repeated the same dance, and I fell through my window, wincing at the sound.
I held my breath, listening for footsteps approaching.
When no doors opened, no feet shuffled, I waved him in.
Calden climbed through my window far more gracefully than I had and straightened to his full height, staring down at me.
He held out a hand.
I took it, and his nearness sent tiny shockwaves down my spine. “You probably have things to do and I—”
“I only wanted to collect my coat,” he cut me off.
“Right.” I slid my hand from his, unbuttoning his coat and peeling it off. After being wrapped in it for so many hours, I felt exposed, cold in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature.
I handed it to him, and he wrapped it over an arm, lifting it to his nose.
My cheeks heated as he turned away.
“Calden?”
He spun back, eyes meeting mine with a spark of interest.
“Thank you.”
Disappointment crossed his face, there and gone in a moment. I said nothing. The farm wasn’t reality. This room was.
He dipped his chin, sitting on the edge of my window and dropping from view.