46. Chapter 46
Maryn
In the hall outside Elias’s room, I stood, back pressed to the wall. The warmth of him still clung to my skin.
This could be my life.
The thought arrived without warning, and I pressed my palms flat against the cold wall to ground myself. A man who loved me. A warm bed. The safest place a woman could be in this world, standing next to the man who ran it. No more bleeding. No more missions.
I knew what that safety was built on. The women inside that building on the outskirts of the city, producing sons for a nation that didn’t ask their names. I would be the most protected woman alive, built on the backs of everyone who wasn’t.
There was another man. One who had taken my heart the way he did everything; without asking.
I closed my eyes.
Elias had just given me everything I needed without knowing it. That was always going to be the difference between us. He trusted. I never would.
Inhaling through my nose, I listened for any sound of movement in the room.
I pushed off the wall and went to find a knife.
My body didn’t feel like mine. The soreness between my thighs, the memory of his hands. My pulse was too loud in my ears. I pushed it all to the edges and kept moving.
In the kitchen, I spun, darting to the rack of knives and grabbing one. It was one thing to slip poison into a drink. It was another to hold a weapon in my hands and feel a body go still from the force of it.
My hands were steadier than they should have been. Vera’s drug?
Moving into a hall off the breakfast dining room, I scanned my memory of the blueprints Lucen had given me when I arrived in the Center. I doubted he would be in his study at this hour. Would he be in bed with his wife? Or in his own room?
The knife was already slick in my grip. I transferred it to my other hand, wiping my palm on my robe.
Hairs on the back of my neck pricked as I tiptoed down the hall. Every sound was too loud. My own breathing, the soft slap of my bare feet on the floor.
A low growl started behind me, and I stilled. A second growl had me turning slowly.
Two sets of black eyes were trained on me, the dog to the right already crouching.
“Chicago.”
They froze, the one on the left sitting and the other lifting his nose into the air. My grip on the knife tightened until my knuckles ached.
We stared at one another.
Behind me, someone shouted.
The dogs darted past me, and I followed. One pushed open the door to a small study, and I stopped in the doorway.
I hadn’t thought about what it would feel like to see him. After.
Calden had President Hale wrapped in a headlock, squeezing. He looked up, eyes wild with a rage I’d never seen.
I stilled. Me in Elias’s shirt. His scent still on my skin. I took an involuntary step backward.
Calden’s grip loosened.
The president wheezed, scraping thick fingers over the arm locked around his throat. He drove his elbow back, ramming into Calden’s ribs.
Calden grunted but hung on.
The dog in the doorway lunged forward, and I spoke the command word.
The animal slid to a halt. The president’s fingers found the edge of his desk and hauled them both forward.
“Calden.”
He looked up, and I tossed him the knife.
He caught it with his free hand, ramming it into the side of President Hale’s neck before the man could break free.
Calden released him, and he slumped to the floor, a pool of red spreading rapidly.
It was over. Everything I had trained for, done in seconds.
I didn’t feel it happen. Not the way I thought I would. Coldness had started in my chest, working its way down my limbs. My legs were shaking—I hadn’t noticed until now.
I exhaled.
The blood reached my bare feet, and I stepped back.
“Why did you do it?” My throat was dry. “It was my mission.”
He glared down at the dead man at his feet. “I wasn’t going to let you die for him.”
I took a step toward him, hand stretching as if I could close the distance between us, make it right. The hollowness I'd felt all my life, the one that had begun to slip away, was back.
Calden would die for this.
Something dark passed across his face. Not the desperate, fevered rage that gripped him as he took a man’s life. Something protective. “Go.”
I stood, hand falling to my side. “But—”
“Go back to his room and act like your life depends on it.”
“Calden, I—”
“Get out of here now.”
The bite in his tone had me flinching back until I was in the doorway.
“Wait.”
I stopped, my chest painfully tight.
He moved, closing the distance between us, and touched my face, heat flaring under the pad of his thumb. He dragged it across my cheek, then dropped his hand, wiping it on his pants. “You had blood on your cheek.”
My hand fisted his shirt.
He buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.
I tilted my head, eyes sliding closed as phantom fingers ran down my arms.
Lips ghosted over mine, never touching. I ached to close the space, to do what I had wanted from the moment I saw him watching me from his dark corner.
“Get out.”
My eyes fluttered open. He had moved back several paces, the distance between us a great chasm.
“I can’t let you—”
“You think I’m going to stay here and take credit for it?”
My breath caught.
He smiled, a dimple appearing in his cheek. “I’ll come back for you.”
My heart squeezed. Even after…
“Tonight?”
He shook his head. “This is a crime we can’t outrun.”
I nodded. “When?”
He glanced down at his tablet. “Tomorrow.”
I backed up, warmth spreading through my limbs, and a small smile touched my lips. “Tomorrow.”
“Go.”
I turned, running from the room.
Back in Elias’s room, I lay on my side and stared at the wall. A few days ago, Calden had asked me to leave with him, and I had said no. The mission had been the only thing I could see.
Now, the mission was done.
Tomorrow, I would truly be free.
Elias pulled me against him, snoring softly.
I let him.
***
Elias blinked, an arm stretching over his head. I let my eyelids flutter, forcing myself to inhale slowly.
A light finger traced the seam of my lips, and I opened my eyes slowly, staring at Elias in confusion. I blinked, lifting a hand to my mouth to muffle a forced yawn.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I smiled, tilting forward and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I forgot where I was for a moment.”
He grinned, wrapping an arm around me and tugging me into his warmth. “You’re right where you belong.”
He kissed the top of my head, then leaned back and searched my face. “Did you sleep well?”
I touched his chest lightly, trailing my fingers down freckled skin. “It was a little distracting.” I smiled. “But I managed to get a few hours.”
Elias pulled me in for another hug, cradling me against his warmth. Beneath the sheets, his desire sprang to life, pressing into my stomach.
“Mother above, what have you done to me?” Elias laughed. “I’m like a teenager when you’re around.”
Boots hit the floor in the hall. Then more, a dozen at least, thundering past the door. A shout, then another.
Elias sat up, his warmth evaporating. “Stay here.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. I pulled the blanket over my head, pressing flat against the mattress.
The door burst open.
Helena rushed in. “Elias, get up. It’s your father.”
Her steps were fast as she approached the bed.
“He’s been stabbed.”
I held my breath.
“What?”
His voice was deadly calm. The way his father’s always sounded when he gave execution orders.
“I don’t know what to do.” Helena’s voice trembled.
There was a long pause, and the silence only made my pulse race faster. He remembered me leaving last night. Had put it together. My knuckles were white as they gripped the covers.
“Okay, I’m coming.”
The blanket lifted, cool air rushing in to pebble my skin, and I worked hard to look confused. The fear was real.
“I need to help Mother. I’ll be back soon. Okay?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to do more.
He pressed a kiss to my cheek, standing, and the pair disappeared.
For a moment, I lay in bed, Calden’s words playing on repeat. “Act like your life depends on it.”
When no one rushed in to handcuff me and drag me away, my grip on the blankets slackened.
When enough time passed that I grew restless, I sat up. Had Calden been arrested? Had they dragged him to the wall and tossed him over?
I stood, crossed the room, and pulled my robe over my shoulders. I fumbled with the tie, exhaled, slowed down, and knotted it.
As I approached the foyer, voices grew into a steady hum, and I wrapped my arms around my middle, glancing at the dozens of men in black uniforms standing, pacing, talking into their devices. Drones buzzed up and down halls, scanning the space until a green light flicked on.
I moved between them, ribs aching from how tightly I squeezed.
“Maryn.”
Elias stepped around a group of men in suits, wrapping an arm around me. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone so long.”
“What’s happening?” I whispered low so no one else would hear.
He herded us out of the main room and into the dining room.
Releasing me, he turned toward me. “It’s the rebels.”
I stiffened. “What?”
His hands came up, rubbing my arms. “Don’t worry. They aren’t here anymore.”
He squeezed my arms, still wrapped over my chest.
“I don’t know how they got in, but no one else was hurt.” He paused. “Except… Blight and Ruin.”
I nodded, not having to fake the pain in my chest. I understood why he’d done it. If the dogs hadn’t attacked, only someone who knew the command word could have done it. I’d made him a killer four times over now. Who would be blamed for this? Who would be killed? “And your father?”
His mouth was a grim line, and tears threatened to spill, but he stood taller. “Dead.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What does that mean?”
He shook his head. “His advisors are here now. They have a lot of opinions. They only agree on one thing. I’ll need to declare myself president as soon as possible.”
I dipped my chin, tugging out of his hold. “I’ll go. You’re busy.”
“No.” He grabbed my arm, pulling me into him. “Please. Don’t go.”