Chapter 23 #2
The redhead goes still for the first time, because Leire has brought her own hands to her mouth and is taking a moment to steady herself, but her eyes were shining so brightly that Kate isn't sure she can hold back the tears.
"I'm sorry…"
"Stop apologizing, Leire."
"If you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life doing it," the Spanish woman says. "I never should have let fear control me like that—shouldn't have signed with Costel, shouldn't have listened to my father, shouldn't have let him…" She stops, a flash of anger crossing her dark eyes.
"Leire…"
"I need to tell you something." She refills her water glass and takes a couple of sips. "I tried to reach you these past few days, but you weren't picking up my calls, and I didn't really know how to start anyway."
She gulps and stares at her plate for a moment.
"Leire, what's going on?" Kate asks, pulling her chair closer.
"I moved hotels because I had a fight with my father—and because I wasn't sure my room was safe."
Kate frowns, thrown off.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know who Candela Valle is?"
"The journalist—yes. But what does she have to do with what I just asked?" The redhead is starting to lose patience.
"She came to talk to me and showed me two photographs someone had sent her—of us."
Kate slides her tongue along the inside of her lower lip for a second, and Leire almost loses the thread of what she was saying.
"One was taken in the locker room. The second one—" the helplessness hits the Spanish woman all at once "—was taken in my room. Against the wall. Right when we were about to—"
"What the hell?" Kate stands up and takes a few steps across the room, stunned. "How did she get them?"
"My father."
The redhead stares at her, open-mouthed, certain Leire must have it wrong.
"You're not serious."
"I wish."
Over the next few minutes, Leire walks her through the whole conversation with Candela, the one she had with her father afterward, and even the talk with Isaac at the coffee shop.
Kate has sat back down because for a moment she felt dizzy from the anger and the helplessness—not only because of what it meant for her, but for Leire, because she can't imagine what it must have felt like for the Spanish woman to find out her own father had crossed a line that should be uncrossable.
"I should've told you when I saw you that day, but God, I couldn't, Kate—I couldn't get the words out. I was so shut down that even when you ended things, I couldn't react."
"It's okay." Kate puts her hand on Leire's knee.
"It's not. I should have been braver. Should have swallowed the fear and talked to you so we could both decide what to do together, as a team. I know we weren't official—I know I kept you in the shadows, and I—"
Leire starts to cry, turning toward Kate and bending forward, elbows on her knees, while Kate holds her hands.
The Australian is still hurting—she had been sure about the decision she'd made.
But Leire finally stepped forward and faced the worst of her fears in front of millions of people, for her, because she didn't want to lose her.
And that feels like enough love to make Kate stop letting her tear herself apart over it.
"Hey," she whispers, leaning in to press her forehead to Leire's. "Stop punishing yourself. I know you're sorry. I know you wish you'd done things differently, and that you never wanted us to get to this point. But we're here now. That's done."
"I hurt you."
"You had hurt yourself too. I think between the two of us, you had it worse—because you had to deal with what you felt and with what you were afraid of at the same time.
I didn't end things to hurt you, or to back you into a corner.
I want you to know that. I wasn't trying to force you to choose between your privacy and us.
I just needed to breathe. I was suffocating in a relationship where I couldn't say what I felt, and—"
Leire sits up and cups Kate's face in her hands.
"I didn't do it because I felt cornered, baby," she whispers.
"If that were true, I would have done it the same day you walked away.
I did it because it felt like the right moment—because suddenly that fear of being seen, the one I've carried my whole life, seemed completely absurd and ridiculous compared to the fear I felt knowing it was all real, that you were leaving tennis and leaving my life.
I don't regret it. And God, I feel lighter—like I can float again after years of swimming toward the surface and never quite making it. Be my girlfriend. Please. Officially."
Kate laughs and Leire stretches her lips into a small smile.
"I mean it. If you still believe in us, I want to be there for all of it. I'll make a statement—a press conference where I tell everyone I've been in love with you for years."
"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?
" Kate smiles. "I don't need you to explain anything to anyone.
This is yours and mine, and it's nobody else's business.
All I want is to live it without hiding—without asking Diane to watch the hallways so I can sneak into your room, without having to slip away like I'm doing something wrong… "
"That's over. I'm going to walk with you all over this entire planet. I want everyone to see me at your side—to know you're my girl and that I'm incredibly lucky." Leire picks up a napkin and wipes her face. "I don't understand how I could have been so stupid, so blind, not to value what I had."
"Stop it, Leire. We're here now—both of us." She takes her hand between both of hers. "And we're going to be unstoppable."
"Thank you." The Spanish woman pulls her close and presses her lips to her neck.
"Now that we've sorted that out, we need to talk about what Bruno did," Kate says. "I know he's your father, Leire, but he violated our privacy, and that can't go unanswered."
"I know. I'm not expecting it to. I asked Isaac to look into our options, but I wanted to talk to you before doing anything official. I need us both to be in this together, or I won't be able to get through it."
They look at each other for a moment, losing themselves in each other's eyes.
"I'm right here, sweetheart."
"So are you. I promise I won't let you down again." Leire leans in and kisses her.