Chapter 27
"Thank you for coming," Leire says, stepping aside to let Candela Valle in.
"Thank you for calling me," the woman replies.
Leire closes the door and stands still for a few seconds, not quite sure how to keep going.
"Are you nervous?" the journalist asks.
"A little—actually, quite a lot," the player admits.
"Why don't you start by telling me how things are going with Brogan? That'll help you relax. And if you could get me a glass of water, I'd really appreciate it—my throat's a little scratchy."
"Of course."
Leire's whole expression changes when she hears Kate's name. She asks Candela to follow her to the kitchen and pours her a glass from the pitcher.
"We're doing well," she answers, tugging at the elastic on her ponytail. "Kate spent a few weeks with her family, but she's coming back tonight."
"You look happy," Candela observes. "Nothing like the day we talked. I'm really glad."
"Thank you. I also want to thank you for what you did—coming to warn me, and especially not publishing the photos. That was… I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for it."
"Don't thank me. It was the right thing to do, period. And I'm glad you decided to take legal action. These things should never go unpunished. I told your agent, but I'll tell you too: count on me for whatever you need."
"Probably your phone," Leire says, scratching her head, a little embarrassed. "When we file the complaint, they'll most likely ask for it."
"No problem, but it's good you're giving me a heads-up. I'll get another one in the meantime." Candela smiles. "Should we get started? I'm meeting my sister for dinner and I don't want to be late."
"Sure. Here at the table, if that works?" the player suggests.
"Perfect."
They both sit down across from each other, and Leire watches her take out a recorder along with a notepad and a pen.
"Do you mind if I record the interview? It'll go faster and I can review it at home."
"Go ahead."
"Great. When did you know you were a lesbian?"
Leire coughs and thumps her chest in surprise.
"Sorry—was that too blunt?" Candela reaches for the recorder to turn it off, but Leire waves her hand to stop her.
"It's fine, it's a question I expected—just maybe not as the first one." She smiles, a little flushed.
"I can reorder things. I don't need to follow any particular structure here. I'll edit it carefully and I can—"
"Seriously, it's okay." Leire takes a couple of sips of water and breathes in before answering.
"Okay. I think I knew early, though maybe too early to know what to do with it.
By sixteen I had a pretty clear sense of it, even if I wasn't calling it that yet.
In my head it was just confusion—I kept trying to convince myself it was a phase, that it was normal at my age not to have things figured out.
I called it everything except what it actually was.
I think that was my way of avoiding something that scared me a lot. "
"And in tennis? What's that second world like for someone going through that?"
The tennis player takes a few seconds to find the right word.
"Quiet," she says finally, without a trace of hesitation.
"It's not that there's open hostility about it, but at least in my world, it was something nobody talked about—though now that I think about it, maybe I was the one avoiding those conversations.
And when you spend years on a circuit without hearing anyone talk about it like it's normal, the silence starts to feel like a rule.
You learn that some things make other people uncomfortable, so you just don't say them. "
"When did it start weighing on you more? It's been a lot of years of silence," Candela continues. She jots down the occasional note to flag certain details, but mostly she listens closely and tries not to interrupt, because she knows better than anyone how hard this is.
"When it stops being just yours," Leire says, pausing to think.
"When it only affected me, I could manage it.
I was focused on tennis and everything else felt secondary.
But when there's someone else—someone who loves you, and you realize you love them back, and you still ask her to hide—" She leaves the sentence unfinished and takes a moment.
"That's when it really starts to get complicated. "
"What did you feel when you finished a match and couldn't look at that person in the stands the way you would have if things were different?"
"Like I was cheating. Like I wasn't being honest—not with the crowd, not with myself, but with her.
Every time I walked onto the court and acted like she didn't exist, or gave her the same glance I'd give anyone else, all I was telling her was that she wasn't worth enough for me to face my fear for her.
And that wasn't it at all—it was the opposite. I was so scared it paralyzed me."
"Can you define that fear? What exactly were you afraid of?"
"Everything." Leire looks down at her hands, feeling for a second the same dread she used to carry back then.
"Sponsors, the press, my dad, what people might think of me—ever since I was sixteen.
" The tennis player smiles bitterly. "I was terrified of disappointing people I didn't even know, people who didn't care about me, and while I was busy being scared of all that, she was waiting.
She was still there, loving me, and I kept asking her to stay in the dark a little longer.
I always had an excuse—the season, the sponsorship deal, anything to avoid facing myself. "
Candela writes something in her notepad and takes a sip of water.
"Everyone knows that person who was waiting has a name. Can we say it?"
Leire smiles.
"Yes, of course. Kate Brogan." She says it with pride and something close to adoration.
"How long did you keep the relationship hidden?"
"About three years. When I met her—" Leire travels back in time, smiling at the memory.
"—she was like my opposite. She didn't hide her sexuality and she didn't care if people saw her with another woman.
She lived her life out in the open, not worried about anything except being happy, and I couldn't understand how she did it.
We started seeing each other in secret—at first with no strings attached, just having fun—but over the months it turned into something else, and by the time I realized it, I was in love with her. "
"At the US Open final you decided to take the leap. Was it planned?"
"Not at all. When I woke up that morning I had a lot on my mind, but making my feelings for Kate public was not part of the plan," the tennis player says.
"So what happened that made you do it?"
"I understood that I'd asked her to wait too long, and that Kate couldn't keep standing by my side settling for the scraps I gave her.
That's what really scared me." Leire smiles, feeling a flutter of nerves in her stomach.
"In that moment none of the rest of it mattered.
I jumped, and it turned out I had an enormous parachute strapped to my back—so big I didn't even feel the drop. "
After several more questions that help Leire tell her whole truth, they reach the end of the interview.
"One last question and we're done: do you regret jumping?" Candela looks at her steadily.
"Not for a second. I only regret not doing it sooner."
The journalist turns off the recorder and the two of them sit quietly for a moment.
"How do you feel? You seemed relaxed by the end—are you okay?" she asks.
"Yeah, great. Thank you for letting me do this."
"Thank you. You're letting me close this chapter of my career with one of the best interviews I've ever done," Candela says.
"You're leaving?" Leire looks surprised. "You're leaving journalism?"
The woman nods, closing her notepad.
"I'm leaving this kind of journalism. I've been thinking about it for a while and I've come to the conclusion that sports journalism has a logic that doesn't fit me anymore. The pace, the headline, the next match… I want to try something slower."
"Do you already know what that is?" Leire asks.
"I want to write biographies of athletes who've had to choose between what they do and who they are. There are so many stories no one has told, because no one has sat down to really listen—without a microphone and a deadline in the way."
Leire listens carefully.
"Would you do it?" Candela asks suddenly. "Tell your whole story—not as an interview, but as a book?"
The tennis player lets out a low whistle.
"That sounds like a big deal." She smiles. "Probably yes, but when I retire."
"I'll make a note of that, then." Candela stands and extends her hand. "Thank you again. I'm sure we'll run into each other around. Give my best to Brogan."
"I will." Leire shakes her hand and walks her to the door.
When Candela leaves, she goes back inside, checks the time, and sees she has enough to make it to the airport and pick up the Australian—so she grabs her car keys, her phone, and a light jacket, and runs to the garage with her pulse racing.
Kate is exhausted when she steps off the plane.
She's barely slept, and she knows it's not only because she had to say goodbye to her family and to Diane—it's also because she's stepping into a completely new chapter of her life, and she's uneasy not knowing how it'll go.
She goes through baggage claim, grabs her suitcase, and heads out.
Even with a cap on and her gaze fixed on the floor, someone recognizes her as she walks, and what was going to be a single photo turns into a string of smiles she offers beside strangers without showing a trace of the exhaustion she's carrying.
By the time she manages to keep moving, a different kind of smile crosses her face when she spots Leire a few yards away.
She's wearing a cap too, but when Kate walks up and they hug and kiss, more people recognize them, and suddenly they're wrapped up in another round of flashes, the two players posing beside one person after another.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asks, holding the handle of her suitcase with one hand and threading the fingers of the other through Leire's, who walks proudly beside her. "I told you I'd grab a cab—you didn't have to come."
"The interview finished early, and I really wanted to see you."
They stop next to the car and Leire takes the suitcase and lifts it into the trunk. When she closes it, she turns around and wraps her arms around the Australian's neck, bringing her lips close—kissing her first, then smiling.
"More than really, honestly," she whispers, kissing her once more. "How was the flight?" she asks once they're in the car.
"Long and boring, you know how it is. What about the interview?" Kate watches her closely, because she hadn't been entirely sure Leire was ready to face something like this—but she looks better than ever.
"It was incredible. Freeing." The Spanish woman turns toward her before starting the engine. "I was nervous at first, but it passed, and when Candela left I felt almost euphoric—like I was stronger, you know? I think you're going to love it, baby."
Kate cuts her off with a kiss.
"I'm sure I will. But I like you more—that I'm certain of. Can we go, please? I need a shower and some food. I'm starving."
Leire wants to ask if they didn't feed her on the plane, but instead she just smiles and starts the car, because one of the things she's learned about the redhead since they've been together out in the open—spending as much time together as they can—is that Kate always reaches for food when she's anxious, even though she barely eats because her stomach closes up on her.
Leire knows this new chapter will be hard for Kate, but she plans to be there and be her rock whenever she needs her.