Chapter Three #5
‘This is delightful,’ he said. ‘I hope you took no harm from your exertions that day, the last time I saw you?’
‘Oh, the terrible train crash,’ she said.
‘I read the reports in the papers, so many killed and injured! And yet, you know, we take trains without the least concern, as if we were going from one room to another in our own house. The people on those two trains did not think when they got up in the morning, This could be my last day on earth.’
‘That’s a sombre thought,’ Richard said. ‘But train travel is pretty safe, really, when you consider the thousands of journeys that are taken every day, and how few end in disaster. I suppose any of us could meet our death any day through accident. It doesn’t do to brood about it.’
‘No, and I believe our human nature is naturally hopeful. As the only animals with awareness of our mortality, we could not function if we thought about it all the time.’
He laughed. ‘And yet, here we are, talking about it – and on a dance floor, to boot.’
‘It was you who brought up the subject,’ she said, with a small smile. ‘But I don’t believe our doom is imminent, Mr Tallant.’
‘According to you, no-one ever thinks it is, so that’s not much comfort.’
‘It’s all the comfort there is.’
‘Thank you. You are an unusual partner, Miss Rowsham. Deep philosophy at a ball? It will never do. You ought to be commenting on the excellence of the band, or how well sprung the floor is.’
‘Is that what you’d prefer?’’
‘I’m only concerned for your reputation. Talk during dances is meant to be unexciting and conventional. There’s no harm in saying whatever you like to me, but another partner might be shocked.’
‘Ah, that might account for my continued unmarried state,’ she said lightly. ‘My sister thinks it’s because I’m dull, but perhaps it’s really because I’m shocking.’
‘You don’t shock me,’ said Richard.
‘But,’ she said gravely, ‘must I point out that you, too, are unmarried? To what do you attribute your failure to secure the blessed state?’
For a moment he stared in surprise, then saw the mischief in her eyes and laughed. ‘Oh, assuredly, you must not talk like that to anyone else!’
‘That,’ she said sternly, ‘is not an answer.’
‘Very well, I attribute it to two causes. First, that I am a younger son with no estate. And second, that I’ve never asked anyone.’
‘The first I will allow, and you are to be pitied, sir. But the second…? I suspect you are having far too much fun flirting with all women to confine yourself to just one.’
‘If you think this is flirting, you must have a very poor idea of the matter. This is a pale shadow of what I can do, I promise you—’
‘But I am not the sort of female who is flirted with?’
‘That’s not what I meant at all,’ he said quickly.
She smiled. ‘Don’t be alarmed, I’m not offended. You called me a trooper. That is a compliment worth having.’
But he still thought she might have been hurt, and he was sorry. He thought again of the damnable situation women like her found themselves in – unable to escape dependency except by marrying. He was unwed, and lonely, but at least he could do something about it. She had to wait for an offer.
‘You dance very well,’ he said, striving to sound sincere. ‘It’s a pleasure to dance with you, after those ingénues – dear little things, but such a responsibility! The difference between going for a walk with someone, and carrying them. Do you like to walk?’
‘I do, when the weather is kind, and there is somewhere to walk to,’ she said, and seemed to be glad of the change of subject.
‘London, and February – not promising much in either department. But the Park has its attractions, even at this time of year. If it should not rain tomorrow, Miss Rowsham, do you suppose you could be tempted out of doors for a tramp about its paths?’
Her cautious look was back, but he sensed no unwillingness from her. ‘That would be…agreeable,’ she said. ‘Thank you. If it should not rain, shall I expect you at, say, noon?’
He bowed assent, and was already thinking, Now what on earth did I do that for? It was only a walk in the Park, but what expectations might it arouse in the poor woman – and her relatives? He thought of Grandmère’s words, that from small chances grow great changes.
Well, damnit, it was only a walk. He could always make that clear – if it even happened. It might rain.
Well, it was February, after all. The next morning it was raining, from a sky like a sulky face that promised it could keep it up all day.
He dashed off a note cancelling the arrangement, but without suggesting a new one, and sent it round to the Ravenscars’ house – at a decent time that suggested he had waited to see if it would clear up, but without leaving it too late for her to make other arrangements.
As he gave it to the maid to find a boy to take it, the post arrived, with a note from Giles to say he was coming up to Town, and another from Aunt Caroline asking him to call round.
He gave the maid a penny for the boy and then forgot all about it.