13. Alex
13
ALEX
Present…
“I only have eyes for you…”
I sat in a corner of Jamie’s living room, listening to the song I now hated filter through the air. Each word pissed me off more by the second. My eyebrows knitted into a scowl as I watched Jamie and his fiancée, Charlotte, dance in the middle of the room. I wasn’t scowling at them. I was delighted that Jamie popped the question and Charlotte said yes.
Those crazy kids were meant for each other… freaking soul mates. When Jamie called and invited me to their small family-only engagement announcement party, I reached Manhattan so fast that I probably left a cloud of smoke back in Boston. I was happy for my friends. It was just this fucking song…
“Jesus, man, sitting beside you is like being next to a rain cloud.” Lincoln’s voice pulled me from the emotional haze I got caught up in.
Michael and Spencer had walked over too. They all took their seats and proceeded to stare at me.
“I know I’m the prettiest of the group, but can you all stop staring at me?” I growled.
Spencer chuckled. “At least he’s still got jokes. Nothing is pretty about you right now, mate. You look bloody terrifying,” he muttered, his accent more pronounced.
“Fix your face,” Michael said. “This is a happy occasion.”
“I know it is,” I snapped and scowled harder.
“What’s your problem?” Spencer asked.
“Nothing.”
“Then why have you been?—?”
“Will somebody just change the fucking song?” I bellowed.
Spencer snapped his mouth shut while the others gawked at me. Charlotte’s mother and sister, who were over by the window admiring the view, turned to stare at me with wide eyes. Charlotte and Jamie stopped dancing to look at me as well. Jamie held me in a seething glare that told me he was going to kick my ass later for dropping an f-bomb in front of his future in-laws.
Pursing my lips and embracing the heat of my embarrassment, I cleared my throat. “I mean… We’ve been listening to this one for so long. Let’s shake up the playlist a little, huh?” My nervous chuckle made Jamie raise his eyebrows.
After the party resumed, I saw Spencer’s shoulders shake with restrained amusement. “You poor sod. Olivia got your knickers in a twist?”
“I will deck you in the face, Spencer,” I said. “Don’t test me.”
He only smirked because he knew I wouldn’t really hit him.
“No one else better mention the O-word ,” Lincoln warned .
I rolled my eyes.
Finally, another song blasted from the speakers, and I let out a relieved breath.
“What do you have against that song?” Spencer asked. “Even a cold-hearted grump like Michael appreciates that song.”
Michael took no offense. He smirked and said, “It’s true. It’s a classic.”
Of course, we all knew he wasn’t really cold-hearted . The grumpster melted like hot butter when it came to his daughter.
My jaw clenched so tightly that my molars almost shattered. I used to love the song too. I sang it to Olivia sometimes back in the day, because, for one, the lyrics were spot-on. I only had eyes for her . Plus, when I was a kid, my mother told me my dad sang it to her all the time.
Naturally, when I fell madly—and foolishly—in love, I crooned it to my woman on occasion. I sang those words the night I took Olivia’s virginity on the hood of my Mustang… What a magnificent night . Now, hearing the song was like getting repeated jabs in the chest with an ice pick.
“Just tired of hearing it, that’s all,” I said and turned my glass of vodka to my head. There was no point in venting to the guys about what happened with Olivia when I stupidly went to her place. There was no point in expressing the emotional turmoil I found myself in because they told me to stay away from her.
If I heard a single I told you so tonight, I swear, I would jump out of Jamie’s penthouse window. The guys exchanged glances but stayed quiet. I was grateful because I wasn’t in the talking mood. Eventually, they broke away to do their own thing and then I saw Charlotte coming over.
A genuine smile lit up my face. I’d talk to her no matter how miserable I was. She was easy and fun to talk to. If I had a sister, I’d want her to be like Charlotte .
“Hey, Alex,” she greeted with her warm smile.
“Hey. I didn’t know you could detach yourself from Jamie for even a minute,” I joked.
She wrinkled her nose at me. “Well, you’re special, so I thought I’d tear myself away from him and come chat with you for a few minutes. Are you okay?”
“Mhmm.” I stared into my half-empty glass.
“Wanna tell me what your outburst earlier was about? You almost gave my mother a heart attack. She has very sensitive ears.”
“I’m sorry.” I glanced at Charlotte’s mother with a remorseful wince. “She must think I’m some uncouth animal.”
Charlotte’s soft chuckle wrapped around me. “Mom is old-fashioned, but she isn’t that judgy.”
“Congratulations on your engagement.” I pointed a finger at her. “You’d better make sure to have only hot bridesmaids, you hear? Don’t disappoint me.”
She swatted me with a throw pillow, and I grinned. “Alexander Knight, you will keep your paws off my bridesmaids.”
“Not making any promises.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Your sister is pretty sweet…”
“She’s married.”
I snapped my fingers in mock disappointment. “Darn, so I might have to steal you away from Jamie after all. You're a damn cool kitten, Char. The coolest.”
“That’ll never happen.” She batted her eyelashes. “Billionaire playboys aren’t my type, so you don’t have a chance.”
I clutched my chest. “Ouch.”
She smiled, and I grinned back.
Charlotte raised her eyebrows. “Are you ready to stop hiding behind your jokes and tell me what’s up with you? ”
My lips slowly turned downward and I sighed. “During your little pillow talks, has Jamie ever mentioned a woman named Olivia?”
“No, but I’ve overheard you guys talking about a her and you’re always cryptic. I started to wonder if the woman was Voldemort or something…”
I threw my head back and laughed. The sound drew attention from the others who looked over at us with amusement. Somehow, Charlotte made talking about Olivia less painful. “Well, Olivia is my Voldemort… she-who-must-not-be-named.”
“Your ex?” Charlotte plopped her chin in her hand and watched me with curiosity.
“Yup.” I spun my glass in my hand before I took a huge gulp from it. “We were together for a while in college. Our breakup messed me up pretty badly. It was the way she did it that got me.”
“Is she the reason why you…?” She trailed off and her cheeks flushed.
I answered her unasked question. “Swore off love and relationships and became an absolute whore? Yes.”
Charlotte let out a laugh, and I shrugged. I had never denied who I was… who I became after Olivia.
“Your honesty is something I’ll always appreciate, Alex.”
“Don’t be too proud. I’m lying about undergoing a hostile takeover of Olivia’s company purely because of business motives. When in reality, I really just want good old, hardcore revenge…”
Charlotte's jaw slackened and her espresso eyes shimmered with a hint of shock. I saw confusion in them too. “What…?”
I gave her a wry smile. “Oh, that’s right. You don’t know what I’ve been up to lately.” Turning to her, I shuffled to get comfortable. “I feel more comfortable talking to you about this. It’s easier to talk to you and Candy.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Who’s Candy?”
“A stripper who I sometimes have therapy sessions with.”
Charlotte guffawed.
“I figured if I’m going to do the whole therapy thing, it might as well be with a hot woman who’s willing to show me her tits.”
“Alex!” Charlotte scoffed but laughter swirled in her eyes.
“My mother used to call my name like that a lot,” I joked.
“I bet she did, you scallywag.”
That made me laugh because Mom called me a scallywag often too.
“Alright, tell me about Olivia, the hostile takeover, and the revenge.”
“But you can’t tell Jamie,” I warned her. “I swore to him that I’m not going after Olivia for revenge.”
She folded her arms. “Yeah… something tells me he probably knows you were bullshitting him.”
I glanced at Jamie who was deep in conversation with his future in-laws. “You’re right.” All my friends probably knew I was full of shit when it came to the whole Olivia debacle. “Still, I’ll deny revenge as my true motive until death.”
She snorted. “Why revenge? Because she broke your heart?”
“If it were that simple, I would have let it go…”
I gazed over Charlotte’s head, not really seeing anything. I was too focused on the things Olivia said nine years ago. They were echoing in my mind, taunting me. Those words cut me deeper than any knife ever could. Tuning back into the present, I sighed heavily.
“I thought taking everything from her would make me feel better… validated even. ”
“How do you feel now?”
I glanced at Charlotte, and my lips curled into an ironic smile. “Foolish. Immature. The worst part… interacting with her again made me realize that I’m not over her as I thought I was.”
Charlotte’s gentle smile eased a bit of the self-disgust coursing through me. “We’ve all let our emotions get the better of us at some point, Alex. If you’re not getting what you thought you would, why not stop?”
My long, loud exhale fluttered between us. “That would be the logical thing to do, wouldn’t it?”
She nodded.
“Well, it’s been said that I’m crazy and reckless. I must maintain my rep.” I held my glass up and grinned.
“Alex, be serious.”
“I am. I’ve already gone too far. I’m not backing down, not after I told Olivia that I’m going to win. I need to. She needs to see me win.”
“Why?”
I tucked my head into my chest, unable to answer her. I refused to get into my psychological issues which stemmed from childhood. We were at her engagement party, and I wasn’t about to overshadow the festivities with my dark emotional cloud.
“Char, you’re supposed to be celebrating, not sitting here listening to me rant about the latest shit I’ve gotten myself into.”
“Coward,” she taunted.
“Fine, I’m a coward. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m disappointed in you.”
“I kissed Olivia,” I blurted.
She gasped. “Okay, I’m invested again… details . ”
“You women love your gossip, don’t you?”
“We do,” she replied unabashedly.
Chuckling, I recounted the events of that night. Charlotte hung on my every word, and it was a tad amusing. It was different talking about this stuff with a woman than with the guys.
“Does that mean there’s hope for you and Olivia rekindling your romance?” she asked.
I let out a derisive snort. “Hell no, Charlotte. The kiss was a mistake.” I’d never let one moment of weakness and a few sweet memories derail me from the huge victory that I sought.
Her raised eyebrows screamed skeptical .
“It was,” I emphasized. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Besides, after I pretty much destroy her family’s empire, romance will be impossible. She’ll hate me too much after that.”
Why did the thought of Olivia despising me cause a kick in my gut…?
Charlotte studied me for a moment and then she said, “Good luck with your endeavors, Alex, but I doubt it’s going to end well.”
“You sound like Jamie,” I scowled.
She shrugged. “He’s a smart man.”
“Yeah… and he’s looking over here.”
She followed my gaze to Jamie who was gazing at her with a little smile. Charlotte’s lips stretched into a goofy grin. Suddenly, I felt like I was intruding on a private moment.
“Jesus, why don’t you two just get a room?” I muttered.
Charlotte elbowed me in the side, and I snorted.
“I’m going to see what he wants,” she announced.
“Oh, I think I know what he wants,” I said with a hint of disgust .
I shook my head as Charlotte got up and flounced over to her man. Jamie looked at her as if she were the very air he breathed. Maybe that’s how I once looked at Olivia. I really wish I could get her out of my head…