21. River
river
. . .
not a weed gummy
Leaning on a shadowed wall beside the cabana’s door, I close my eyes. I can hear Rue inside, pacing and mumbling as she waits for me.
Any second, she’ll lose patience and open the door. She’ll see me standing here with her backpack over my shoulder and no good excuses, and she’ll think I’ve been perving on the drunks still fucking on the other side of the pool. But they’re the absolute last thing on my mind.
I’m out here for her sake.
I need every second I can get to reel in the bad ideas rattling around my head, starting with biting her plump bottom lip and ending with her coming so hard she blacks out.
After what just happened, there’s no question of our compatibility. Not anymore. Not ever again.
My fingertips were resting over her racing pulse as she watched a drop of water roll down my stomach.
Her breath hitched; her nipples hardened.
When I called her my girl, she squeezed those beautiful thighs together like she wished I were between them.
And when she looked up at me, everything I’ve always wanted to see was right there waiting—a hunger as ravenous as mine.
With nothing more than my voice and a hand on the nape of her neck, she caught fire and melted like a dream.
The knowledge should be gratifying. A few years ago, maybe it would have been, but I’m not the same person I was in my twenties or even six months ago.
After a decade of attraction to a woman who tolerated me at best and loathed me at worst, finding out now I might not be alone in my want?
I’m not gratified. I’m gutted. Because it doesn’t change a damn thing.
I’ve known Rue too long to kid myself. Just like every other time I’ve seen a glimmer of desire from her, she’ll use this as an excuse to double her defenses.
Forget being her friend. I’ll be lucky if she ever speaks to me again.
SKREEEEE.
The scream of hinges right next to my head boomerangs me into the afterlife and back. My heart restarts in time to see the cabana door flying at my face. I barely get my hand up before it slams into me.
“River?”
Rue pops into view, haloed by warm light.
Her hair is half dry and wild, sticking out in a thousand directions.
A terrycloth robe is belted at her waist, but the sides hang open like she forgot to pull them together before tying the belt.
Her chest is flushed, her eyes are blue flames, and her smile is crazy.
Not fuck-it-let’s-have-sex crazy.
Crazy crazy.
“What are you doing? Get in here, weirdo.”
Before I can tell her I’m not the weirdo in this situation, she grabs my wrist and yanks me into the cabana, then kicks the door closed behind us. Beaming up at me, she rubs her hands together with the comedic glee of a cartoon villain.
In a moment of startling clarity, I realize how easily I could fall in love with this madwoman.
“You’re not going to believe what I found. Hold, please.”
She spins and hurries toward the storage shelves opposite the small bathroom and shower.
Most of the shelves hold towels, robes, and baskets with sunscreens, goggles, and the like.
The bottom row is a hodgepodge of pool supplies, deflated floaties, lost or discarded bathing suits, and plastic crates.
Rue bends over one of the crates, rummaging through the contents. The damp robe is thin enough that I have a view of the entire outline of her ass.
Forcing myself to look away, I set her backpack down near the door. Then I drop onto the small bench outside the shower and pull on my cold but dry T-shirt. At least the cabana is warm.
“Where is it, where is it?” Rue mutters.
My lips quirk. “You found something, then hid it from yourself?”
Her giggle hits me in the chest.
“Maybe. Not on purpose. I was trying to… Eureka!”
I chuckle. “Is it gold?”
She turns, grinning. “Better.”
When I see the metal tin resting on her extended palms, my smile turns to ice, along with my blood. I stand up and close the distance between us in two long strides.
“Please, please tell me you didn’t open that.”
But I already know the answer. It’s in her pupils, too dilated for the amount of light in the room. Fuck. No wonder she’s acting crazy.
Rue’s smile ebbs. “What do you mean? It’s one of Kirk’s hidden stashes. Remember? He said if we found one, we could have what was inside. See?”
She opens the airtight tin to reveal a sealed plastic bag containing three small aluminum-foil wrapped squares.
“River? Why are you looking at me like that?”
I make a split-second decision—the only one I possibly can. Wiping the worry off my face, I force my shoulders to relax. Smiling, I hold out my hand.
“Can I have that?”
She gives me the tin. I tuck it into the pocket of my shorts, then lift my hands to frame her face.
Her eyes widen, moving rapidly between mine, but she doesn’t pull away.
As I stroke my thumbs over her jaw, her breath shudders from her parted lips.
Her pupils flare wider. I steel myself against more irrefutable evidence of how much my touch affects her.
Though I can hardly believe it, the current issue is even more delicate and urgent.
“I need you to listen very carefully. Can you do that for me?”
She nods.
“I’ve got you, okay? No matter what, you’re going to be fine. You’re completely safe.”
“That’s really nice, thanks. But to be honest with you, the face holding and eye contact make it creepy.”
I exhale a soundless laugh. “Can you trust me, Rue? Do you believe me when I say I’ll keep you safe?”
“Yes.”
The word is without hesitation or artifice, like her trust and my trustworthiness are two halves of one truth. I stare at her, speechless with relief and a dozen other feelings I don’t have the time to puzzle through right now.
She taps me on the nose. “Boop.”
A startled laugh leaves me, and her fingertip presses to my cheek.
“Dimple boop.”
I desperately want to kiss her. Denying the impulse feels unnatural, especially when I lick my lips and her eyes track the movement.
“Let’s stay on track.” The reminder is mostly for me, but she nods. “Next question. Do you feel kind of strange right now? Maybe your skin is extra sensitive, or colors are more vivid?”
Rue looks from side to side, then up and down. When her eyes come back to mine, I know she understands. Her fingers bite into my wrists.
“River…?”
I nod. “It wasn’t a weed gummy. Have you taken LSD before?”
“No. I thought… oh, fuck. I’m so stupid. They didn’t look like regular gummies, but I thought—”
She gasps for air, her eyes glassy.
“Hey, you’re okay.”
I draw her trembling body against mine and pass my palm over her tangled hair and down her spine. I repeat the movement until her breathing deepens and her shaking eases. When she loops her arms around me and relaxes, I feel like a lunar halo encircling my very own moon.
Resting my cheek on her head, I give myself a moment to marvel at how she feels. How she fits.
“I’m okay? Promise?”
The words puff warmly right over my heart, and the organ kicks like it wants to break out and jump into her mouth.
“I swear it. Dan found that tin last week and ate two of the gummies thinking they were weed. He said it was a mellow trip, so yours should be even mellower.”
Her face nuzzles into my chest. “I thought LSD came on tab thingies or sugar cubes. Like in the movies.”
I nod. “It’s much more common and probably why the gummies aren’t very potent. Kirk might have done it on purpose to avoid having someone take too much. Either way, he’s an asshole for not labeling them.”
“Yeah, eff that guy! I’m super-duper mad at him.”
Her arms fall lax around my waist. I can’t convince myself to let go of her yet, so when she leans back to look at me, her hips press firmly to mine.
Her spine arches, the gaping robe offering an unobstructed view of her barely contained breasts and hard nipples pressing against the thin material of her bathing suit.
I close my eyes tightly.
Kirk’s feet, Kirk’s feet, Kirk’s feet.
“It makes sense now,” she says, breathy and soft.
Steeling myself, I look down at her. Her pupils are fully blown, only a thin ring of blue around the edges.
“What does?”
“Why you’re so sparkly.”
I smile at the awe in her voice. “That’s a normal effect of the drug. It’s called halos or aura.”
Her eyes round. “Auras? Like what Ivy sees?”
I shake my head, huffing laughter. “I don’t think so.”
“She said my aura was explosive.”
“That doesn’t surprise me at all.”
Rue lets loose an unhinged giggle, the effervescent sound making me feel high. She grabs my face in her warm palms, forcefully moves my cheeks around, then smooshes them toward my mouth.
“River, River, River. Your aura is raining and your eyes are gold glitter. You smell like sugar and lemons and trees.” She frowns. “That was supposed to rhyme.”
She pulls my lower lip down and lets it snap against my teeth, then does it four more times in rapid succession. I could easily let her do this all night, but we have a long walk ahead of us. I need to get her home before the hallucinations peak.
I capture her hand, tamping down a smile when she pouts.
“I think it’s time we head to the cabin. Sound good?”
The pout reverts to a grin and her arms rocket into the air. A fist misses my chin by millimeters.
“Adventure time!”