41. Rue #2
“Our parents didn’t care where I went when I wasn’t home, but he wasn’t allowed to leave except for school.
The house phone was off-limits, the computer locked in our father’s office.
I had a contraband cell phone, but I couldn’t bring it home because my backpack was searched when I walked in the door.
All I could do was sneak into Teddy’s room at night and tell him what others had told me—that it wouldn’t always be this way, that there was nothing wrong with him… ”
A violent shudder runs through my body. My lungs suck desperately for air my throat won’t allow to pass. River pulls me up, adjusting me so I’m curled against his chest. He breathes with me, for me, until my throat relaxes.
“The story about how I broke my leg was real, but I lied to you about the scar on my lip. My dad did that after finding a booklet in my backpack that one of the support organizations sent to the library for Teddy. I’d forgotten to hide it under my clothes.
“I think Ms. Lakin suspected there was physical abuse at home, but until then, he’d never hurt me anywhere I couldn’t cover with clothes.
When she saw me beat to shit, she took photos and called the cops.
A teacher of mine did too. But by then, my parents were back in good standing with the community.
In true small-town-cliché fashion, the chief of police was our father’s poker buddy. So nothing happened.
“By the beginning of sophomore year, I knew I couldn’t wait until I graduated to get Teddy out.
He was falling into deeper and deeper cycles of depression.
When he came out of them, he had manic episodes.
Rage, self-loathing, guilt, apathy… So with Ms. Lakin’s help, I made a new plan—I was going to emancipate myself at sixteen, then petition for custody of Teddy.
We researched guardianship laws, statutes, all of it.
I even found a lawyer in Eugene who was willing to help me pro bono.
“Six months before my sixteenth birthday, everything was in place. I had two jobs that would support us, the highest grades in school, a safe place to live, and journals and photos detailing years of abuse. Physical, psychological, all of it. We were so close. So fucking close.”
River bows his head to mine.
He’s shaking now too.
“There was a new girl in Teddy’s class his freshman year.
This sweet alt girl from San Francisco named Mal.
They grew close. She gave him what I’d tried to but couldn’t—a real glimpse of a life beyond the hell he was in.
Their relationship was so sweet and wholesome. Passing notes, a few stolen kisses.
“Mal had no idea what it was like for him at home and at church. He was afraid if he told her, it would ruin the only happiness in his life. When she asked him to the winter formal at school, he said yes, and I… I freaked out. I begged him on my knees to tell her why he couldn’t go, why it wasn’t safe.
I knew she’d understand. I just needed six months. We were so close.”
My fingers twist in River’s shirt.
“But Mal… she made him feel like King Theodore the Brave again. He told my parents he was taking her to the dance and wearing what he wanted, and there was nothing they could say or do to stop him.”
River’s tears drip onto my temple. Mine are still ice, but not for long. I feel what’s happening at the deepest, darkest, coldest level of me. I can almost hear it—the rolling thunder, the tinny crackles and chasmic, echoing snaps.
And beneath it all…
Teddy.
“It’s okay, Rue. We’re okay now. Tell him how the story ends.”
“A van pulled up to our house that night. Four men came inside and took Teddy. Just took him. He fought every step of the way, but I… I couldn’t move.
I felt like I was underwater. Everything was muffled and fuzzy.
Teddy was screaming, and I stood there, watching as they locked him inside the van and drove away.
I snapped out of it when they turned the corner, and I ran as fast as I could. For miles. But I never caught up.
“He was gone for three weeks. When they brought him home, he was a zombie. He barely spoke, barely ate. Even our parents were rattled. Every day, he faded a little more. I was frantic. Ms. Lakin called the school, youth organizations, CPS, everywhere she could think of. I tracked down Mal at home and told her everything Teddy hadn’t.
She told her mom, and this wonderful lady…
she was a lawyer. I could hardly believe it.
She filed an emergency custody motion that day.
She said with the evidence I had, it was as good as done.
And she was right—a judge granted the order the next morning.
“I was in the kitchen when she called and told me she was on the way with the court order and the one decent cop in town. I was so happy, so relieved, I couldn’t stop crying as I ran upstairs to tell Teddy.
The timing was perfect. Our father was at work, and our mother had been in bed for days, self-medicating and wallowing.
She was too weak to stop us. We were going to be free. ”
Crack. Crack. Crack.
The final fractures spiral down, down, down, and hit my bedrock.
“There was an empty bottle of our mother’s prescription sleeping pills on his nightstand.
He was still breathing. I called nine-one-one.
They told me to roll him onto his side, and I did.
He opened his eyes for a minute and managed to speak.
He t-told me it was okay, that he’d be my brother in the next life too.
He m-made me promise to never forget magic, to never give up, and then…
and then he closed his eyes. I did CPR until the ambulance came, but he was gone. Just… gone.
“M-maybe if we’d lived somewhere else, my mother would have been arrested.
But we didn’t, and I… I knew she hadn’t given him the pills.
I saw it in Teddy’s eyes. He’d made the choice.
He was relieved. Peaceful. After waiting so long for me to save him, Theodore the Brave forged his own path to freedom. ”
The tears finally come. So, so many. But there’s no pain like I expected. I don’t wail or sob or scream. I don’t convulse or tear my hair and skin.