3. River
Chapter Three
RIVER
I was the world's worst hostess.
Never had there been a time in my life when I needed to play the part or had I wanted to. However, when your house burns down and your new brother-in-law lets you use his lake house, you can’t really accept his generosity then shove him out the door.
Or your sister and all their friends either.
But I wasn’t aware I’d be having a housewarming party.
If I’d been thinking clearly, then maybe I’d have realized that the whole gang would descend upon us. From what I’d already witnessed and heard from my sister, along with Capri, whom I used to counsel until recently, they were always in each other's business. And I meant that in a good way.
The group of friends—more like family—were always there for each other.
Now they were trying to be there for me and the kids. I just didn’t know how to deal with that or their nurturing behavior. The ladies had even tried inviting me to their get-togethers before the fire, something I’d declined. Accepting their friendship and gifts was awkward for me .
Though, it was Huntley’s presence that truly rattled me.
Regardless, it was wrong to be locked away in my bedroom hiding.
Hiding again.
Since I’d had a second to clear my head, I now knew that the man who got under my skin hadn’t intended to hurt or scare me moments ago. The realization came just seconds after I’d caused a scene, but then my kids were involved and that had changed everything.
My insecurities and past had caused them turmoil.
A frustrated sigh escaped me as I swiped at the tears that still streamed down my face, refusing to stop.
There was a soft knock on the door and my sister’s voice echoed through the aged wood, pulling me from my pity party. “River, can I come in?”
Taking a deep breath, I frantically wiped my cheeks once more and swallowed my remaining tears as I moved off the bed toward the door to unlock it for her. My stomach sank and nausea rolled through it at the look on Lake’s face after swinging open the door. Worry etched her beautiful features as she stood in front of me, her hand lying protectively on her still flat tummy.
Lake was in the early stages of her pregnancy, but I didn’t want the slightest amount of stress on her. Especially on my account. The sister thing may be new since we just found each other recently, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t already feel a connection with her. But I’d be telling the honest to God truth when I said I didn’t have a clue how to show her what coming into my life meant to me. I didn’t even know how to explain my feelings to myself.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
That sick feeling in my belly intensified. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry that I just left you and everyone out there. Just give me a minute to clean up.” I pointed at my face that I was sure was streaked from tears. “Then I will be right there to help with the food.”
Lake gave me a small nod but didn’t move. “I’m always here if you need anything… or just to talk.” Dropping her hand from her belly, she slowly took a few steps closer to me. When she was right in front, she stopped. “I will always be here for you.”
There was a lump lodged in my throat rendering me speechless. And with her next words, it was my turn to nod because I still couldn’t get any words to break free.
“Can I give you a hug?”
At my silent permission, something I’d surprised myself I had allowed, she wrapped her arms around me. For a moment I stood stiff as a board, my limbs pressed to my sides. As the warmth of her affection kicked in, I found myself hugging her back.
Lake pulled back and gave me a tender smile. “What do you say that I wait for you, then we walk out together?”
Still in a bit of a daze from all the emotions and touchy-feely stuff, I only managed to reply, “Okay,” but then added a small smile.
Deciding that the pity party I’d been having was over, I turned to walk into the master bathroom. It was time to stop hiding, find my kids and check on them, and play hostess for a little bit no matter how odd it was to me.
I heard Lake wander farther into the bedroom and I turned to see her sit down on the bed as she waited. That twisted feeling in my stomach subsided a smidge. It wasn’t going to be easy to walk back out there and join everyone, but as I looked at my sister, I realized I wasn’t alone.
Lake had my back.
I found it hard to breathe.
As I made my way out the back door, my sister at my side, my nerves kicked up a notch. Seeing everyone I knew wouldn’t be easy, but it was the man’s gaze on mine the second we emerged that had me fighting for control of my airway.
My eyes had immediately gone to him and we seemed to be in some sort of staring contest. Even though humiliation over my reaction to him earlier sat heavy in my gut and embarrassment heated my face, I couldn’t look away.
Everything about the man was all-consuming. His looks, his protective nature, the authority he demanded without ever being mean about it and the way he’d taken charge and took care of me after the fire, it was so overwhelming.
Don’t think about it.
I needed a Huntley repellant that kept him far, far away.
Because I had no doubt the man would bite.
And that was never happening.
I’d found myself protesting everything about him over and over since the day I’d met him, but as he looked at me, all of that seemed to disappear. My heart knocked hard against my chest as he took me in and something akin to understanding glistened in the depths of his warm, dark green eyes.
My reaction to him baffled me. Nobody had ever gotten under my skin the way he did and yet I was getting confused if it was a bad or good thing.
From across the patio, his gaze sank deep into my soul and I felt myself settling a bit. Then his mouth moved slowly so I could read the silent word that left his lips.
Warrior.
The flutter in my belly wasn’t something I could seem to control any more than the small smile I sent his way. And when I saw the look on his face morph into that of someone who’d just won a million dollars, the butterflies that had been fluttering took flight.
I wasn’t sure there was a repellent strong enough to stop anyone’s reaction to Huntley, me included. My breathing turned ragged, making me feel as though I might hyperventilate. Not once in my life had I ever been…
What? What was this feeling rippling through every cell in my body?
Lake’s voice penetrated the haze I was in. “What’s going on? River, you need to take a deep breath.”
I did as she said and then words I never meant to say out loud or ever acknowledge left my trembling lips.
“I’m attracted to him.”
With my gaze still on Huntley, I saw his face turn into a mask of concern as he started to take a slow step toward me. My eyes rounded in panic and I quickly looked toward Lake, who I noticed shook her head slightly, I assumed to stop the man’s progression.
Bless her.
“I can’t be,” I whispered.
My sister tipped her head, a gentle smile and sympathetic look on her face. “You’ve never had those feelings before?”
Hell no I hadn’t. After everything I’d been through, I’d never encountered a man who flipped my insides the way Huntley did. I’d felt it when he carried me out of my burning house, but it scared me.
Still does.
“No. I just...” I worked to control my breathing. “Lake, I just can’t.”
She slowly, so as not to startle me, reached out her hand and laid it on my arm. Great, everyone is afraid to scare me now. “You’re in control of what you can and can’t do. Nobody is forcing you to do anything. ”
I reared back a little at her words. “That hasn’t always been true.”
What the hell was wrong with me today? It wasn’t sharing time. I shared with my kids but nobody else. And then I realized that wasn’t true. There had been one other person long ago that I’d found myself confiding in like nobody else.
She’d been my angel and then I’d run away, never to see her again.
But she’d saved me.
“Sis, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened to you, but you have me and so many people in your life that want to be there for you. I told you before, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
I gulped down all the emotions clogging my throat.
“Maybe one day,” I whispered.
She nodded, and then we were interrupted. Or for me, more like saved, when Bronson announced the food was ready. Lake gave my arm a gentle squeeze and then dropped her hand as the other women chose that moment to make their way toward us.
I was pretty sure from the tentative looks on their faces that they had been giving us space. I didn’t think that Capri or Gemma would have said anything about what happened earlier in the house, but the women were smart and I’m sure all of them could see the tension and unease radiating off of me.
I’d also run off earlier and hid after that, so it was pretty obvious I wasn’t of sound mind.
That didn’t seem to deter them now though. They approached, chattering about how they were starving and this or that as if nothing was wrong. I appreciated it more than they knew. My gaze caught on my kids wandering back up the road, the bundle of fur still in my daughter’s arms.
“I’ll be right in to dish up a plate,” I told everyone as they started into the house to grab their food. I wanted to check on Lennon and Breland. Plus, I needed the chance to take a couple of cleansing deep breaths so I could make it through the rest of the day.
The ladies all nodded or said something to acknowledge me, then were gone. Lake paused for a second, clearly worried as Bronson and Huntley approached with platters of hamburgers and hot dogs in hand.
Bronson gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was the other man that I was more hyper-aware of, and my eyes met his.
“You good?” Lake asked.
“Yeah,” I told her, not looking her way.
She took the platter from Huntley’s hands, then she and Bronson went inside leaving me alone with Huntley. I darted a quick look in the kids’ direction, but they were still a little bit away. I didn’t want Lennon to get into another confrontation or to worry.
Putting on a brave face, something I didn’t feel so much right then, I looked up into Huntley’s eyes.
“I will never hurt you,” he said in an emotionally fueled, gruff voice. He’d already said that, but I could tell that it was important that I heard him again.
And I believed him.
Wanting him to stop beating himself up over it, something I could tell he was doing, I replied, “I know.”
His eyes widened and he sucked in a deep breath. Surprise and relief flashed across his handsome face.
The man was really something to look at.
He was tall, with a lean build, but I’d noticed the muscular thighs in his jeans along with the rippling abs and chest that pressed against his mossy-green T-shirt. I had a feeling that the color made his deep green eyes stand out even more than usual. He had dark brown hair on his head that matched the sexy scruff on his perfectly angular face.
Wait, sexy?
“Mom,” I heard Lennon call out, pulling my attention from thinking about the distractingly good-looking guy in front of me. Again, a surprising thought since I didn’t notice that type of thing, ever.
My head swiveled toward the kids as they approached and then back to Huntley. He took his cue.
“Will you be okay?” he asked in a sincere tone that had my stomach fluttering again.
With a nod that seemed to appease him since no words emerged from my mouth, he smiled and walked inside, leaving me to wait as the kids finished walking my way.
Lennon’s gaze stayed on Huntley until he disappeared completely and then came to mine as the two teens that had become everything to me stopped in front of me. I pierced them with a reassuring smile, letting them know everything was good and asked if they were ready to eat.
All of a sudden kids were running past us back out the door with plates in their hands and some of the adults trickled out behind them. I couldn’t help but laugh, knowing that there were bound to be a few hot dogs that would hit the dirt.
Capri moved past us, her daughter Italia perched on her hip as she carried a plate in her other hand. “There’s enough food in there to feed an army. Which we are clearly working toward with this group.” She giggled and headed toward the other kids.
I hadn’t seen Lake come out yet, but Stormi must have made her way past me because she was suddenly by my side, empty handed. “Auntie River, my hot dog just slid off my plate.” She flashed me with an adorable pouty face. “Zander said just eat it, that a little dirt wouldn’t hurt me, but that’s gross.”
Lennon and Bre laughed next to me. God, I loved hearing that. It just didn’t happen as often as I would like but maybe all three of us could find our way to more laughter together with this new group around. The kids definitely made things interesting.
“I’ll help you get another one,” Bre said, shocking the crap out of me.
Stormi’s eyes widened, clearly as surprised as I was. “You will?”
My daughter was very reserved, quiet and unsure around people. Stormi obviously had made an impression on her. Maybe someone needing her help was just what she needed.
“Sure,” Bre said a bit more hesitantly then, holding her dog in one arm, her other hanging at her side.
Stormi slipped her palm into Bre’s. “Awesome,” she chirped as she pulled her into the house.
I watched in wonder for a second and then looked at Lennon. “Ready to grab some grub?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he said, unenthusiastically.
I prayed that he would come around and I needed him to know that I believed the group of people surrounding us were great people. That included Huntley. For some reason I had this odd feeling that maybe it was important that he knew he could especially trust him.
Why? I didn’t know yet. It was just a feeling.
“Huntley, along with everyone else here, are good people,” I found myself saying.
Lennon raised a brow at me. He not only acted older than his sixteen years, he looked it too. Skepticism lined his face, his arms crossed over his already broad chest. It would take time, but just the tiny amount of laughter at Stormi and the way I’d seen his face light up slightly at the sight of our new home by the lake, I had high hopes.
“I trust your judgment, but I will always be looking out for you,” he said, letting his arms fall to his side.
We weren’t big huggers. Me and the kids were more reserved with physical affection, but we communicated it to one another. Hugs came few and far between. It’s not that it never happened and more so between the two kids, or Bre and I when she was upset.
Some may have found that odd or just sad, but we’d all been through something and understood each other. But right then, I found myself moving closer to him, wanting to show him how much he meant to me. Slowly moving in, he gauged my intent. We embraced and I let out a sigh.
He and Bre were meant to be mine.
I was so damn tired.
Everyone was gone and I was more emotionally exhausted than physically.
After we ate, Bronson gave his dad’s older truck to Lennon. I’d never seen my son that excited. He was flabbergasted that someone would do that for him. All the guys had gathered around Lennon as he checked out the vehicle and he looked to be having a genuinely good time soaking in all the male bonding going on.
When I saw Huntley say something to him, I’d held my breath waiting to see what he would do. He laughed at whatever was said and I relaxed.
“Girls like guys with trucks,” Huntley had said to him, Lennon had told me later with a small smirk on his face.
Thinking about my son with a girlfriend …
Yeah, that freaked me out a bit. I think it did him too, but there was something behind his eyes that lit up some and I wondered if there was someone he was thinking of during that conversation.
My son may have been guarded, just like his sister, but one day he’d work through his demons and make a damn good man for any woman in his life if he so chose to have a relationship.
Just because relationships were not for me didn’t mean I didn’t want that one day for my kids.
A certain green-eyed man chose that moment to invade my thoughts as I padded out toward the kitchen.
The house was quiet, kids were asleep, and I decided a small glass of wine was just what I needed to wind down after the day I’d had.
I wasn’t much of a drinker. I’d done too much of that to numb the pain inside me as a teen, but a glass of wine here or there worked for me and wasn’t something I abused or used like I had in the past.
Reaching for the bottle, I noticed a small piece of paper tucked under the edge of the Keurig machine. A frown pinched my face, wondering what the heck that was.
And there went my breathing again. It hitched as I took in the scrolled writing.
Damn that man.
Warrior,
If you need anything, ever, I’m only one call away.
H
A number sat below the one letter that I knew very well belonged to Huntley.
I needed that repellent because I had a feeling that even with my insecurities, he was going to be a damn hard man to keep at a distance. With my troubled past, distrust, and intention of staying away from all mankind when it came to an actual relationship, there was a possibility that he could still worm his way in a lot closer than I ever intended any guy to get to me.
He was already invading my thoughts.