29. River
Chapter Twenty-Nine
RIVER
I was miserable.
I’d been sulking around for weeks.
My kids had said something and Lake had called me out on it.
I was sick of myself.
I never thought I’d be the girl that laid on the couch, drowning her sorrows in ice cream and watching some sappy romance movie. I knew that seemed cliché, but it must have been true because I’d found myself doing it multiple times lately.
Truth was, I missed Huntley.
The alert on the cameras went off and then there was a knock on the door dragging me from my sorrows. I’d done it to myself. I was the one that pushed him away after?—
Now came pounding. It wasn’t the kids or they’d let themselves in and their movie—the one I declined to go to—wouldn’t be over yet. I grabbed my phone and looked at the app on it to see who was there. Shaking my head, I sighed, knowing I was in for a lecture. Not only was Lake standing there, but Capri and Ruby were with her .
I managed to drag myself off the couch and pad over to let them in reluctantly. After swinging open the door, I looked into the faces of the three women.
“Let me guess. You’re staging an intervention,” I deadpanned.
Pushing her way past me, Lake answered, “Pretty much.”
The other two ladies followed. I wondered for a second how the heck I ended up in a world with friends who just busted into your house and did as they pleased. Yet, even as moody as I was, I couldn’t contain the slight curve of my lips as they pranced right over to the couch, sat, and then looked at me expectantly.
Giving them my best eye roll just caused them to laugh.
Lake, who’d stayed standing, wagged her finger at me. “Don’t you be rolling those beautiful eyes at me.” Her tone was playful and then in the next second turned serious. “I can see the sadness in them.”
“We are here so you can spill your guts,” Capri said.
Ruby, putting her two cents into a conversation I didn’t want to have, smiled and cheerfully added, “Then we are going to lunch and shopping.”
I looked down at myself, then to each of the women.
“Yeah,” Lake said, motioning with her hand up and down my body. “That’s after you take a shower and put on something other than pajamas. There’s no more moping for you, sis.”
“What?” I gave her my best glare. “I’m not doing any such thing.”
“Really?” With the same hand she’d waved up and down me a moment ago, she flung it toward the pint of Rocky Road ice cream I’d set down on the coffee table when I got up to answer the door.
Obviously my glare didn’t work the first time, so I gave another whack at it that failed even worse and had all three ladies cackling.
“You’re all annoying,” I said without any heat.
I didn’t mean it of course, but I also had no desire to admit they were right. Since another round of laughter came, I knew they were aware I wasn’t truly mad. They also all wore the same look on their faces as they got themselves back under control.
It was a look that called bullshit on my attempt to make them believe I wasn’t sulking with Huntley no longer in my life.
Lake planted her hands on her hips—I swear her baby bump was mocking me too somehow—and just stared, until I wavered.
Letting out a sound of exasperation, I threw my hands up. “Fine, I’m so freaking miserable without him but it’s the way it has to be!”
My sister dropped her hands to her sides and started toward me. I put my own up to stop her. I’d known if she got any closer to comfort me, I’d lose it. She didn’t stop being the stubborn person she was and the moment she pulled me in for a hug, the water works began.
Two more sets of arms joined Lake’s and I was engulfed by the three women. After a few minutes I was being drug over toward the couch and pushed down to a seated position. When they all took their seats around me and looked at me with sympathetic eyes…
I accepted my fate.
The warm water had felt heavenly.
I was used to listening, not being the one talking about my feelings. There was also something to be said about only one counselor in the room versus three.
Those ladies were relentless.
What I could appreciate about their approach was they didn’t make me feel stupid about how I was feeling, why I pulled away, or even convince me that I had been wrong. They talked to me, they sympathized, and then they let me walk away to shower while immersed in my own thoughts.
One thing they had not done was give me a choice when it came to going to lunch and shopping.
Somewhat reluctantly, I’d shut off the water and grabbed the large, baby-blue bath towel to dry off. As I got dressed, I couldn’t help but let the funk sink back into my soul.
What was it about Huntley that I just couldn’t let go of?
The thing was, I wasn’t the only one who wanted him around. My kids were always supportive of my feelings, but they had also dropped subtle comments that they too missed him.
Especially Bre.
In her eyes he was Superman, just like she’d called him. She’d taken a shocking liking to him rather quickly and their bond had only grown. Lennon may not have admitted it as easily as his sister, but his mood had shifted some too. I think the male bonding was doing him good.
So, besides being downhearted myself, I also felt horrible for making the kids unhappy. But I was thinking of Huntley. What I’d seen a few weeks prior had just made me that much more aware that he deserved more than me.
I’d told the ladies I had come to the conclusion based on my past and the things that haunted me still, that I just felt like he needed someone whole. I hadn’t told them what the demons looked like that still ruled my life at times—although Lake knew some of my past—or about what I’d seen when I’d gone to Huntley’s work, but I had a feeling they would get it out of me before the day ended.
When I’d gotten emotional, they gave me a pass after some much-needed comfort and sent me to get ready for a girl’s day.
I finished getting ready and glanced in the mirror.
Be honest with yourself.
While I said I was looking out for Huntley, the truth was, I was scared of my feelings and falling short.
Because…
I thought I loved him.
Besides my kids, love wasn’t something I’d thought I could be capable of. Not with a man. But Huntley had plowed into my life and sunk deep into my heart.
My sorrow-filled eyes shimmered with tears and before I could hold them back, the salty liquid fell, splashing onto the vanity surface.
And that’s how the ladies found me.
Broken over a man.
Who would have thought?
It was almost working.
I couldn’t deny that a day out with some of the ladies was helping to distract my mind from the pity party I’d been having back home. The one I’d been having for a couple of weeks, actually.
But it wasn’t enough to wipe Huntley from my thoughts all together.
He was a force and I was afraid I’d never be able to clear him from my mind…
Or my heart .
“Earth to River.”
My sister was waving something in front of me.
I snapped my gaze to hers. “What did you say?”
We were standing in Victoria’s Secret at the outdoor outlet mall we had gone to after lunch and when I glanced over at my sister, she was waving a piece of lacey, coral-colored fabric in my face.
“Do you think my husband would still consider me sexy in this even with my protruding belly?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Are you off your rocker? That man worships the ground you walk on and will always think you are sexy.”
“Really?”
I grabbed the garment from her and started toward the register at the other end of the store.
“Where are you going with that?” she shouted as she followed behind me.
I slowed, looking over my shoulder and saw we caught Capri and Ruby’s attention. They slid in front of Lake, cutting her off, to follow me. We had a train of women marching toward the back of the store with the pregnant one taking up residence as the caboose.
If only all the ladies were here. Now that would have been a sight. At the thought, I let out my first real laugh of the day. Sure I managed a few, but they still felt a tad forced because I knew how hard the gals were trying to cheer me up.
Finally making it to the counter, I thrust the negligee at the lady behind it. “I’d like to buy this for my sister so she can see just how insane she was for even contemplating her husband wouldn’t think for a damn second that she was sexy.”
The cashier stared at me, clearly not sure what to say as Lake gasped, and the other ladies howled with laughter.
I turned around and leveled my sister with a look. “That’s what you get for staging an intervention.” Then I moved my gaze to the other two. “One down, two to go.”
The laughter stopped and Ruby and Capri’s mouths dropped open in shock.
Turning back to the saleswoman to finish my purchase, I smirked.
I was getting pretty good at this thing called friendship.
“I can’t believe you did that,” Lake said as we sat at a table outside a small coffee shop.
Capri laughed. “It was hilarious.”
Lake leveled her with a look. “Just wait until it’s your turn.”
In the moment, I was having fun and not thinking too hard, but now that things had calmed down, Huntley was back invading my thoughts.
“Are you going to tell us why you decided to push that man of yours away?” Ruby asked, clearly sensing my mood change.
I gave a sigh of defeat and told them what they wanted to know.
After I was done, Lake laid her hand on mine. “Not to throw your words back in your face, but, that man worships the ground you walk on.”
I was shaking my head in denial as the other ladies nodded in agreement with my sister.
“I don’t need all the facts of your past to know there is one and I also don’t need them to know that Huntley is in love with you,” Capri told me. “We can all see it.”
In love with me?
Capri was off her rocker.
“It’s true,” Ruby added.
My sister patted my hand. “Seriously, the man is miserable and torn up without you. I work with him, remember? I’ve never seen him so upset. ”
An awful feeling settled in my gut.
I thought I was doing the right thing by backing away. Hearing he was miserable as Lake put it, made me feel sick to my stomach.
Before I could stop myself, I found myself blurting out my thoughts from in the bathroom earlier that day.
“I think I’m in love with him.”
All three women smiled at me.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” my sister asked, and the other two ladies raised their brows in question as well.
I took a long, deep breath.
“I need to say I’m sorry and hope he wants me back.”
The three women raised their hands in triumph as Lake shouted, “It worked!”
Clearly they were amused and proud of themselves that their little intervention had worked. My kids would probably be happy the ladies had gotten through to me.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head as they giggled with glee.
The hard part was coming. I had a lot of groveling to do, secrets of my past to reveal, and confessions to make. Lake had said he was working so it would have to wait one more day.
I prayed it wasn’t too late and that he still wanted me after all I had to say and for backing out of his life with no explanation.
Because who was I kidding?
Even if part of me was still fractured from my past, Huntley had been healing my heart and soul, one piece at a time. And if he forgave me, I knew he’d keep right on doing that.
I didn’t think I loved him.
I loved him with everything that I was .
A little broken maybe, but not unrepairable.
I’d thought I was incapable of this type of love, but Huntley showed me otherwise.