39. River
Chapter Thirty-Nine
RIVER
He said it reminded him of my eyes.
Mystical, hypnotizing, alluring and vibrant.
And that it was as precious as I was to him.
I wiggled my ring finger and stared down at the sparkling vintage style, princess cut amethyst diamond ring. It was still hard to believe even after a month of being asked to be Huntley’s wife, that this was my life.
After that life-changing morning and a whole month passing, Huntley had never gone home. While he still hadn’t been back to work yet, he was capable of caring for himself, but leaving had never crossed his mind, he said.
It never did mine either.
Lennon, Bre, and I were all used to his presence—even as large as it was—in the house and were dreading the day he went back to work. Sure, I worked, but he was always there when I came home. Unfortunately, before long, he would have shifts that kept him away from the house for days at a time.
Huntley would go back to the firehouse, the kids would be going back to school, and for the first time in my life, I was worried about having time alone. I used to be fine with it, but things changed when the hunky fireman swept into my life and refused to leave.
If he wasn’t in it, I don’t think I’d survive the loss.
According to him, I was stuck with him.
That morning after the kids found us in my bed, Huntley felt a bit guilty for not speaking with Lennon and Bre before asking me to take his name. But at breakfast, he rectified it and strengthened his relationship with the two of them.
He’d explained that he had been so caught up in the moment he just had to get the words out. Then he told them he’d never been in love before until he’d met me and couldn’t imagine me not taking his name and becoming his wife.
I was working overtime to keep my tears in check.
When he asked not only for Lennon’s and Bre’s permission to marry me but told them that if they were ever ready he’d also want them to take his name because he loved them too, my heart fluttered with so much love I thought it might just pick me up and carry me away.
Having them both say yes, while Bre wept happy tears, and Lennon fought to school his emotions in vain, as they hugged Huntley so damn tight, was my undoing.
And that was just the first surreal moment in the last month. The second was the day he and the kids took me out on the lake in a small boat, had a picnic onboard, and he pulled out my ring. It glistened in the sunlight as tears fell down my cheeks.
For the first time in my life, I believed in true happiness.
There was only one more thing that could have made it better. I wanted to be able to make love to the man that was my world. I felt my cheeks heat and touched one with my palm. While we hadn’t had sex, it didn’t mean there wasn’t a lot of making out and touching.
It felt wonderful, but it wasn’t enough. My body responded to him, I just hadn’t gotten to the point of letting him see me naked, nor I him, or let things go farther. I was serious when I said things weren’t pretty with my scars and the dark place I often went when thinking of that night.
However, as more time passed I also struggled with needing Huntley to show me how special the act of making love could be.
Because that is what it would be.
Making love .
It wouldn’t be the horror I’d experienced so long ago. Another thought struck then: I had no idea what I was doing and that felt crazy at my age, but I never thought after that night, I’d let a man in, let alone have sex with him. Maybe I could ask my sister or the ladies.
I shook my head at the thought. No, that would be way too embarrassing.
The sun from the window behind me hit my ring just right and it glistened again, pulling a dreamy sigh to escape. How long had I been daydreaming?
I looked at the clock and realized my client was ten minutes late, which was unlike her. Picking up my cell, I dialed her number to check on her and see if she was coming. When I got her voicemail, my brow furrowed in worry. She’d come a long way since I started seeing her as a patient, yet the last couple of sessions it seemed as though something more was bothering her, but she wouldn’t share.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I tried to relax and not let the concern stress me out. I could only let her and others know this was a safe place to talk, but I couldn’t make them. Trying her phone one more time, I left a message and hoped she would call me back.
Since that was the last appointment of the day, I figured I’d get to go home a little early to my family. I hated the nagging feeling running through me that something might be wrong with my client, but seeing Huntley and the kids sooner had a little zip of glee rushing in too.
I grabbed my purse and was about to dial Huntley to let him know I was on my way, when my phone rang in my hand. Lake’s number flashed on the screen.
“Hey,” I answered by way of greeting.
“Hey back to you.” She laughed. “London is at the hospital. It’s baby time,” she said, excitedly.
Lake was so happy to have her friend and herself having a baby so close together, with her just a few months behind London. I also knew my sister couldn’t wait to have a child with the man she’d loved since before she even knew what love was.
Besides, my niece, who was the heart and soul of my sister’s life and her daddy’s, had asked the Christmas before for a baby brother, and she was close to getting her gift. I’d do anything for Stormi, just as I would my kids, so seeing her so full of jubilation over getting a sibling was fun to watch.
“Are you on your way there?” I asked her.
“Yup. Bronson is at work, but Stormi and I are headed over in just a second.”
If I was worried about her driving and feeling protective, I knew her husband most likely hated her going alone.
“Wait there, I’ll have Huntley and the kids pick you up and I will meet you guys there, so you don’t have to drive.”
She sighed. “Not you too. You are as bad as my man.”
I giggled. “Yup, just hold your horses. They will be there soon.”
Then I hung up before she could argue and dialed Huntley.
“Hey, beautiful.”
Another dreamy sigh escaped. That was the effect the man had on me.
I explained what was going on and got a dose of my own medicine back, but I wasn’t telling Lake that or she would laugh her ass off.
“Sweetheart, I hate you driving yourself over there.”
I rolled my eyes—though he couldn’t see—at his protectiveness even if I secretly loved it. All the men in our circle were the same. “I’ve been driving alone for a long time and can take care of myself, dear,” I replied sarcastically.
“Yeah, but you’re not alone and have me to take care of you now. Not just now, but forever.”
I will not, dreamy sigh. I will not, dreamy sigh.
The man turned me to mush.
“You’re too good to me.”
Before he could say anything, I rushed on because I knew he hated when I said stuff like that. He didn’t get mad at me, but it made him sad that I even thought that way.
“I look forward to forever with you.” I stared down at my ring. “I’ll meet you there,” I said again.
Huffing out a breath, he caved.
“Okay, I’ll grab everyone and see you in a bit. I love you.”
There was no way I was ever going to get tired of hearing that.
“I love you too.” Before I hung up, I added, “I’ll be okay.”
I didn’t realize then that I’d just lied to the man I loved.
I was not okay.
Making my way to my car out front in the building’s parking lot, I’d just started to open the driver’s door when a massive body caged me in from behind and my door slammed shut, stopping my entry. A large, black leather-gloved hand covered my mouth, cutting off my air and suppressing my scream.
I’d fucked up .
I hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings—I knew better— like Huntley was always telling me to do. It was still light out, we had cameras, yet that didn’t stop what was happening. I’d been thinking about London, excited for my friend. My friend—I was actually getting used to those words.
What if I didn’t see her, the baby or the others again?
Fear set in and panic rose.
Or even worse, what if I didn’t see my children or Huntley again? My mind raced and I struggled against the hold my attacker had on me, but his big body held me hostage.
It was no use.
Suddenly something flashed in front of my eyes and I was catapulted back in time as the shiny, silver knife laid against my cheek, the pointed edge swimming in my vision. I froze, not wanting to get cut and tried breathing in through my nose that was slightly exposed.
That old smell of sweat and whiskey penetrated my senses. He’s back. Somehow he found me and was going to finish the job. My body began to tremble and bile rose into my throat. I was going to throw up and choke to death first.
Or I was going to suffocate.
I couldn’t get enough oxygen and was close to passing out when I heard the deep, evil rumble of a man’s voice in my ear.
Wait, this was a different voice. It wasn’t the monster from my past.
But I still wasn’t safe.
“Mind your own fucking business, bitch and stop trying to get into other people’s heads, or you will be sorry.” The knife in his hand slid down my body toward my stomach.
Bile then made it’s way from my throat into my mouth as the trembling in my body increased, and all I could think was…
Not again .
“Hey, what the hell is going on out here?” someone shouted from across the parking lot, saving me from getting cut.
The hand dropped from my face and I gasped for breath as feet pounded across the pavement. One set retreating and another coming closer. I whirled around as a figure, all in black, disappeared around the corner of the building and a guy running toward me came into view.
I recoiled and my back hit my car.
“Are you okay?” Coming to a quick stop, the young man held up his hands. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I was coming out of a meeting when I saw what was happening.”
He’d stopped the attacker. “I’m s-sorry, I’m just s-shaken up.”
I turned around and opened my car door needing to get out of there.
“Hey, we should call the police,” the man said.
My head shook frantically side to side as I jumped in my car. “No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
Then I shut my door, cutting off the guy's next words and started the car on autopilot, my need to flee burning through me. Immersed in fight or flight mode, I rushed out of the lot and toward my destination.
After a few miles of driving in a daze, the reality of what had just happened started to sink in and tears threatened to fall. I couldn’t fall apart now, I just needed to get to Huntley.
He would protect me.