38. Level Seven- The Hard Knock Truth
CHAPTER 38
Level Seven- The Hard Knock Truth
Rez
L ooking at the massive wall before me, it dawns on me how lucky I am to have my family with me. I couldn’t imagine trying to do the Road of Worth without them. This first wall was Moni’s trial by the looks of the two framed scenes covering the forest wall mural playing over and over of her being abandoned. To face that by yourself and not having a backup would be devastating, and depending on your mental state, you might give up.
Who knows how many tests it would have if it were just one person playing. It would probably be enough to have me rocking myself while wearing a self-hugging snuggy in a padded room.
No voice greets me as I walk through, so I’m assuming it’s because Beleth threw me in here, and I’ll just have to figure out how this all works once I catch up with everyone. I mean how far are they? Are they still on this level? Hopefully, it doesn’t throw off anything in this time-warp matrix thing. The biggest thing I notice is the scorched footprints. They look as if the ground below the feet is dead or all the life has been sucked out of the foliage. Even the areas of gravel and dirt seem to be burned. What caused that, and did it happen recently? Is my family okay?
As I continue following the scorched footprints, I run into Knots’ wall, where he had to choose if his sister was happy about turning him away when he returned to Earth after his memories were gone. I know it was one thing for me to tell him, but he had a choice, and thankfully, he made the right one, given the open door leading to the next wall.
Learning about Chester’s abusive father is an eye-opener that I’m not expecting, but it just makes me appreciate how amazing he’s turned out. And it makes me feel great to know that he has a better family with us.
Zeke’s wall had to be emotional for him since it brought Cain back into his life. My poor vamp baby should have PTSD if he didn’t already, having to revisit that episode where he brought back the Deathweaver, not Cain. But it was Cain that took over. I’ll have to remember to give him extra TLC when I see him.
The blackened footprints continue to JP’s wall, which looks to have had him facing the truth about his feelings about being the heir to Hell. Let’s just say he’s not too happy about it. I don’t know how I missed it, or maybe I just wasn’t intuitive enough to see how he really feels about that title. I feel horrible that I didn't see it or that JP didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it. I know now at least, but that’s for another time, I guess.
Knox’s wall breaks my heart, watching him kill for the first time during the blood matches, but what he saw in his was his father, the Alpha pushing for it. All these years, he thought he was the ruthless killer. I mean, in a way, I can kinda see where his father was coming from…I guess. It’s made Knox stronger and a hardened Alpha in training, but did he need to be?
At Ryker’s wall, a part of me crumbles at looking at the pain he’s been in all this time. The truth of how deeply he never enjoyed the manwhore ways and being a slave to his lust breaks my heart. And here I thought he was a cocky bastard. I see you now, Ryker.
Levi’s wall, he had to face the real reason he puts on his robot persona and keeps his family away—the boy who’s scared of failure and the rejection of even his family. Tears stream down my cheeks as I walk through the walls and face what my family has gone through without me. They have worked so hard and faced these trials when they thought I was lost to them forever. I can’t imagine what they are going through. They’ve done so much while I was learning more about who I am with a prince that I have no right to know.
The last wall I come to is Lynx’s, where he analyzed me! My words and my actions, seeing if I was telling him the truth about my feelings for him. I never noticed how insecure he is about us. My heart sinks as I realize this is something I should have known and done something about. I can only assume it’s something he might not have felt comfortable enough to bring up to me when I have so many other mates to deal with. Fuck! Sometimes I wish these guys would just come talk to me about shit. I’m not a mind reader.
The scorched footprints are here as well, yet they look fresher as the grass is still wilting around the edges. What in the hell is causing this? As I walk through to the next section and follow the black footprints, I come to see the person standing as the grass beneath his feet is actively dying. His back is ramrod straight, and beads of sweat dot his forehead as he pulls on the cufflinks I made him. Levi.
I feel like I’ve gone through an emotional blender before being poured out and leveled by a Mac truck. What has happened to my sweet Levi that would have the earth dying under his feet?
Glancing around, I see that my family, the ones who have gone through their own personal Hell, are standing in front of another wall. Moni twirls around Chester, and as she spins, she catches sight of me. The way her jaw drops, it’s as if she’s staring at a ghost.
“Rez!?” Moni screams before turning magenta and immediately passing out.
Levi whirls around so fast that he stumbles, and the grass hisses and turns black, but Knots jerks forward and steadies him. Relief shines in his hazel eyes before he smiles tightly and sweeps his hand toward the ground. The grass beneath his feet immediately starts to turn green again, and Knox, Zeke, Lynx, and JP jerk as if they’ve been slapped. Mental note, ask Levi what’s the connection with him and the blackened grass.
“Rezzi!?” Lynx yells and pounces on me, pinning me to the ground. Tears stream down his face and mingle with my own. His lips pepper kisses all over me as I feel a tongue on my arm and hands trying to pick me up while Lynx is wrapped around me.
It’s a free-for-all until I’m upright and I’m in a group hug.
“Hey, hey! You’re gonna have to let me go so I can breathe. Please,” I beg, and finally, I get Lynx and everyone to back up a little bit. After rearranging my clothes so they aren’t twisted, I greet everyone with a smile and ask how everyone is doing. “That’s a stupid question,” I realize with a shake of my head. “I’ve seen the walls and know you’ve been through Hell without me,” I try to joke, but it falls flat.
“Where the hell have you been?” Ryker asks.
“And what the fuck were you thinking pulling that stunt back there?” Lynx yells, throwing his arms up in the air. “I’ve never been this pissed off at you in all my fucking lives, and I’ve had two of them as far as I know.”
“Okay. Okay,” I say, trying to soothe him. “First of all, I’m sorry. I don’t know why, but that was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and it worked in the end, right? So you can’t be that upset. You got here, right?” I give Lynx a timid smile that he doesn’t return. He just gives me a perturbed look, so I turn towards Ryker.
“And to answer your question, I’ve been with Beleth. It’s too long to explain, but the short version is he knew my mother and had something to give me, so he wanted to see me again.” I throw my hand up to stop the question on his lips and continue. “I’ll explain later, I promise, but can we just get out of here, please?”
“Sure,” JP speaks up. “It’s perfect timing since you brought up your mother,” he purrs, moving away from the wall and showing my wall murals.
Of fucking course. My wall shows me as a toddler in the monogrammed blanket being held by two different women. Liliwen and Jillian. Both of them could be my mother. One, I grew up with as my mother for the past twenty-three years, and the other, I’ve only been told may be my mother.
How the fuck am I supposed to choose?
Levi comes up next to me and grabs my hand, squeezing it. “What we’ve been doing is taking the emotion out of the choice. Just look at the facts and the small details, and choose from that. Study the pictures. Take the names away from the people, the emotions from yourself, and choose off of the facts that are left.” He kisses my cheek. “You can do it.” He squeezes my hand again before letting go and giving me space. I notice he doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes and looks more reserved than usual, and I make a mental note to ask why as I’m left staring at the two picture frames before me.
Easier said than done, but okay, I can do this. I have to do this.
Looking at the pictures before me, I try to wrap my head around what’s in front of me, but it’s as if there’s a block. I know what I want here. Focusing on my mom, Jillian, I want to pick her so much. She’s the mother I know, the one who taught me to ride a bike, pick herbs, and know the difference between Virginia Creeper and Poison Ivy. She taught me how to love and fight for what’s right. She put up with my attitude and spirit. She loved me with everything and tried to protect me from the uglier side of this world.
And Liliwen is a stranger to me. I have no memories of her, no feelings or personal knowledge of her.
Reluctantly, I look at both pictures and take in the slight differences and what’s the same. The blankets are the same, the dresses the women are wearing are the same, and their smiles and even how they are wearing their hair are the same. It’s as if they’ve been copied down to the slightest detail. Just as it was in Moni’s picture, except for the facial expressions. Levi suggested leaving my emotions out of this, but it’s so hard to block them instead of letting them lead me.
As the pictures replay, I look at myself as a baby and the way I coo up at the women holding me. Love and affection pour out of their eyes when they smile down at the child, but in Liliwen’s eyes, I see a fierceness of protection that doesn’t reflect in Jillian’s. A mother’s love would allow her to do anything, even kill, for her child's protection. I let out a shaky breath before focusing back on Jillian’s picture once more.
But is what’s in front of me the loyalty I feel towards Jillian, or is it the truth? It makes me almost physically sick thinking that Jillian isn’t my mother. It’s as if I’ll be betraying her memory if I choose Liliwen. Loyalty is a hard thing to overcome.
This is the level of Truths though, and that’s what I should focus on. Even if it’s true that my mother isn’t my birth mother, adopted mothers are real mothers too. So yes, she’s my mother by all accounts that matter, and nothing will change that. She raised me and groomed me to tackle this world as it is. She will always be my mom in my heart, even though this trial isn’t looking for that type of answer.
Stepping up close, I reach out, almost touching Jillian’s picture as tears blur my vision. For some reason, it’s as if I’m closing the book on that part of my life, and I take a deep breath before touching the picture of Liliwen.
“This. This is my truth. My mother.” My voice cracks with emotion as I see Liliwen smile at me in the picture.
Boom ! The wall shakes, and I jump back as the bricks collapse into a plume of rubble.
‘Congratulations, you have made it through the Road of Worth. May you claim what it is you’ve traveled for,’ a voice calls out.
But it’s what I hear through the settling dust that sends chills down my spine. Fighting. I have no idea who’s fighting, but I’m sure I’m on one of their sides. I start to climb over the destroyed wall to get to the other side, but it’s slow as the dust chokes me and makes my eyes water. But as soon as I make it to the other side, I pull my glaives, look at the action, and pause as I can’t believe my eyes.
Before me is my mother, Jillian, and Ms. Teal in a vigorous battle of spells, blades, and large insect limbs flailing about. There’s no portal in this cavern, but there are steps leading up to another damn wall. Although the area is bare, you can tell that the women have been fighting for a while, as divots in the rocks and small fires are littered on one side of the room, and the other looks untouched.
My jaw drops as I momentarily watch my mother. She’s a badass, and she’s fucking alive?! Where? When? How in the hell is this possible? An array of emotions bombard me as I find myself excited that she’s here, shocked she’s alive, and horrified that she’s fighting to the death with Moni’s mother. Either way, my mother is holding her own, even if she’s supposed to be dead. Or my pseudo-mother? I don’t know. I have so much emotional damage that I would send Dr. Phil to a psych ward.
Actually, seeing Ms. Teal without her glamor could send me there as well. She’s shorter than my mom but twice as wide with her hard-covered teal beetle shell and hairy pearlescent wings streaked with teal and burgundy. She’s a mixture of a stink bug and June Beetle. She’s definitely the ugliest bug I’ve ever seen.
Her unsheathed wings act as a shield and blades as she spins around and slashes at my mom.
I’ve seen enough action movies to know not to call out and distract my mom, so I start to take off, but Zeke grabs for my arm.
“Rez! No.” He yanks on my arm, making me stop.
“Let go, that’s my mother!” I scream at him, trying to yank my arm away.
“I know, but look. Something is off with this,” he pleads, pointing up. “Look, there are cameras embedded in the stone. Why? Who’s taping or watching?” he implores me to listen to reason.
‘He’s right, Rez. Something doesn’t smell right,’ Lynx reports as he shifts into his Lynx form. ‘She isn’t the only enemy around.’
‘I don’t care, that’s my mom.’ I break free of Zeke only to turn around and freeze as a portal opens ten feet away from me, and I catch sight of what’s coming through.
“Someone must be using a portal stone to send something here,” Levi yells as he pulls out his boa staff.
Are you serious right now? We just completed this damn Trail of Worth, and we still have to fight? This is truly HELL!
A group of spiders scuttle out of the portal dragging something behind each of them. Oh, hell no, are those snake tails? What kind of hocus pocus is this shit that I have alien facehuggers the size of huskies? Along with the spiders is a Chimera and a demon the size of Bez. They turn their attention toward me, and I almost weep with frustration.
This is not my damn life right now.
“Get the girl,” the demon demands, and the spiders take off.
Get the girl? There are two of us, but I’m guessing they mean me.
“Nettlebugs! Their weakness is their bellies,” Knox shouts out before shifting into Slayer.
I don’t know where his knowledge comes from, probably with his job as part of the special forces, but I’m grateful for it.
“Nerezza!” mom shouts, pulling my attention to her. As I turn to look, something hits me from behind and sends me sprawling across the cave floor. See, I knew this is why Mom should have watched those action/horror movies with me. Never call out someone’s name and distract them.
Rolling over, I have a quick moment to glimpse a Nettlebug scurrying toward me, and I use my shield to bounce it away. Good news—my magic comes easily to me now. The bad news is I’m constantly feeling a sharp pulling sensation with every small draw of magic. Jumping to my feet, I pull my weapons and turn to face it, only to see the underbelly as it leaps for me. Instinctually, I raise my arms and get splattered with blood as the nettle bug impales itself on my glaives.
Eww. And I was hoping I would look good when I walked out of here. Now I look like a hot pocket exploded on me.
A roar rings out in the cave, and I turn, catching the Chimera running toward me. ‘Kill, attack, underbelly,’ that female voice urges, but before it gets close to me, Slayer drops down on it from the ceiling and wraps his tentacles around the lion’s head, tripping it up. How he got up there, I have no clue. Lynx’s manticore slams into its flank, causing the goat’s head to swing down and engage, leaving the snake as the tail open season on my men.
I catch sight of Reaper’s flames as he pounces on a nettle bug while his long tail trips up a second one running in another direction. He’s just a dog with his bugs having fun…that’s all.
Changing my plans, I run towards the nettlebugs coming my way and pray I can dodge around them to help my guys take down a Chimera. Water arrows fly in front of me and hit two of the spiders, killing them on the spot, as the last one in my way gets a sonic boom and explodes.
I don’t know what power-up Moni got, but it’s working. I run straight at the Chimera, drop, and slide until I’m underneath the monster and raise my glaives to cut into its soft belly when my feet are pulled out from underneath me, missing my mark. My back hits the ground hard, knocking the air from my lungs, but I catch something green moving and throw out my P.M.S. needles on instinct. Biting down on my bottom lip, I immediately taste blood as my side cramps from using magic. Fuck, it’s getting worse.
A hiss rings out, and I catch the snake writhing from my attack. It shakes off my needles and strikes at me while I’m still down. I roll and hit its back leg, and as a reflex, the leg kicks out and claws me in the side. Crying out, I reach for my side and feel something wet. Shit, now I have a physical and a magical one to deal with. But I don’t have time to worry about them now.
As adrenaline pumps through me, I push through the pain, get to my feet, throw my P.M.S. needles into the Chimeras soft belly, and hear three bellows as they continue to dig deep. Another flash of green, and I give up on the needles and attack the snake with my glaives. Pretty unfair, if you ask me, with how fast the head strikes and backtracks. I can’t get a hit on it as I barely move out of the way of getting bit. The leg I’m close to moves and knocks me down, pinning my arms to the floor, and all I see are two fangs coming at my head. Applying another coat to my shield, I send up a prayer to the Fates that this isn’t my last moment, and as the snake’s fangs are inches in front of me, it goes limp with dazed eyes. An agonizing roar pierces the air before the head goes thunk to the floor.
Looking over the head, I see my avenging angel and his sword covered in blood. Knots rushes over to me, and I’m about to cry with relief that he’s here. He slices into the beast’s tendons, causing it to scream again, but the leg jerks back, freeing me from what I thought was my certain death.
“Come on, you have more enemies to kill,” he tells me, offering his hand. I grip it and groan as he pulls me up. He takes one look at my face and then glances down to see my flank covered in blood. “You’re hurt,” he surmises, and I push away.
“I’ll live. We can’t say the same for everyone,” I tell him and rush over to the other leg, cutting its tendon and immobilizing the Chimera. Knots, knowing he can’t stop me, helps by piercing into the beast's flank and disemboweling it. He beckons me to his side where I watch as the monster falls. The goat and lion head are still fighting, but I leave that to Slayer and Lynx as they look like they have it controlled. They’re already slicing through their necks and making fast progress.
Moni and Chester are still fighting Neetlebugs, so Knots moves to help them. I quickly stop to take a breath before joining, but a shout stops me.
“Nerezza!” The demon’s voice calls out, and I spin to find him by the portal with another summoning stone. “Come with me, and I’ll allow your family to live,” he says confidently, raising the stone before rubbing it. Another portal opens up, and on the other side are more monsters. From the looks of their sheer numbers, it’s enough to know we won’t win.
“What do you want?” I cry out, tired of fighting.
“My master wants you. Simply come, and we will leave,” he says calmly, holding out his other hand toward me.
I hear the last death throes of the Chimera behind me as the other fighting ends, and I feel as if I have no other choice.
“NO!” I hear someone scream. Peering over my shoulder, I see my mother throw something at the demon. “You will not have her!” she yells, and magic expels from her hands. An explosion goes off at the portal, effectively closing it, and her magic hits the demon in the chest, causing him to convulse and fall to the ground.
Looking back in her direction in awe at her use of magic, I witness Ms. Teal’s evil smile as her wings unfold in an arc, slicing through my mother’s arm and into her back, causing her to fall.
No!
I take off running toward her, scared of what will happen next.
“Aww, poor Jillian. You did all that work, came all this way to stop me from grabbing your daughter, and all for nothing. How does it feel to lose, Jillian? To know you couldn’t save your adopted daughter in the end? You can’t save her, just like she couldn’t. She has always been his,” Ms. Teal boasts.
“Hey, mom!” Moni yells out, and Ms. Teal looks up. Seeing Moni, she has an unsure look as if there’s a small heart of hope inside that horrid shell.
“Monikaloy? This is the first time you’ve called me that.” She beams, getting emotional.
“And it will be the last,” Moni says, bringing her arms out in front of her and letting out a booming clap. She sends a disabling sound wave that propels her mother into the jagged wall behind her, impaling her on the stones.
“Damn, sis, way to finish the job with flair. I give you twelve out of ten for badassery,” JP says, giving a confused seafoam-colored Moni a side hug.
“Thanks.” Moni gives a timid smile and laughs awkwardly. “I think. I’m just confused as to how I should be feeling right now,” she admits, and JP pulls her against his chest with a tighter hug.
I don’t blame her after seeing her mural and knowing that her mother did have a heart at some point. But it looks like JP and Chester have it handled as he joins in on the hug. I don’t stay and congratulate her. Instead, I rush to my mother's side.
“Mom,” I croak out around tears. She’s covered in blood, and there’s a hole the size of a dime that has burned through her torso that must have happened before we got here. Besides the slashes that Ms. Teal gave her on the arm and back, there are multiple cuts along her body that I can see, along with restraint marks along her wrist, as if they were cutting into them. Was she held hostage somewhere? Who did this to her? I reach for her, but I’m terrified as to where to touch without hurting her since she’s bleeding heavily and looks so weak. I thought she was dead this whole time, but obviously, her death was a cover-up.
“My sweet, Rez. Please forgive me for lying to you,” she says between her labored breaths. “I was only trying to keep you safe.” I grab her hand and bring it to my cheek. Lynx, Levi, and a few others gather around and start digging into their bags, searching for bandages and supplies to help my mom while I try to keep her calm, but even I know it would take a miracle to fix this.
“I know, Mom,” I tell her through my tears. I try to smile as I lay my hand over her dime-size wound to staunch the bleeding. “I know, Jillian!”
“Jillian, you’ll be fine. Just save your energy, and we’ll get you to Dr Steinbeck. Just hold on,” Ryker assures her. “We just have to take you through the portal,” he states matter-of-factly. He jumps up and runs from us to hopefully open the portal so we can use it.
“Shit!” Ryker curses. “Is the portal behind this door? The door is locked! Where’s the key? How do we get in?” he yells, yanking at his hair.
“Shouldn’t the portal be available now that we passed the trials?” Lynx’s voice is spiked with fear.
“The switch to power back on all the portals was locked and sealed by Liliwen before she died,” Jillian wheezes, dropping another bomb on us.
“Do you know how to open it? We need to save you,” I plead, choking on my tears.
“There’s no saving me, but you can finish your quest.” She coughs, and her body starts to shake as I press her hand harder against my cheek. “It’s behind the door. Your marks are the key. Your mother gave them to you, and t-the song…unlocks them.” She coughs blood, and tears start to pool in her eyes.
The song opens them? What is she talking about? Why be so cryptic? Is she just confused? Tears blur the image of my mother and I quickly wipe them away.
“Mom! You know cryptic things don’t work well with me,” I try to remind her, but a muscle in her cheek jerks as if she can’t give me a smile anymore.
JP jumps up and joins Ryker at the sealed door where the portal is hiding, and I focus back on Mom when she tries to reach for her necklace.
“Rez, take my necklace. It..w-was…your…mom’s.” She manages to get out between breaths and lightly squeezes my hand.
“It’s okay, Mom, just hold on a little longer. JP and Ryker are working to open the wall,” I say with a trembling voice.
Jillian’s lips move, but I can’t hear her, so I lean in closer. “...loved you…l-like my…own.”
“Mom!” I grab her face as she closes her eyes and takes her last breath. “NO! Wait!” I cry out, not ready to let her go. I lost her once before, but I never got to say goodbye. I thought having a chance to say goodbye would make things easier, but I’m wrong. This is physically killing me, having my heart ripped into shreds as my entire life crumbles into nothing all over again.
I lay my head against her chest and weep, but only a few minutes later, her body starts shaking slightly, and I bolt up. Before my eyes, her body shimmers, and her appearance changes. Her brunette hair fades to a short blonde bob. She shrinks slightly and becomes a petite woman with no curves. Her brown eyes turn a crystal blue, and her skin turns out to be porcelain instead of my sepia tone like my own. No longer does she look like my mother for the past two decades, but she does look familiar. Where have I seen this version of my mother before?
It doesn’t matter, not right now. I throw myself back on her and let go of all my pain. I sob as the memory of my mother and all that we’ve done plays in my head.
I don’t know how long I lie crying, but soon enough, I’m reduced to sniffles and a massive headache, and I find Lynx kneeling in my periphery.
“Rez?” Lynx says cautiously. I slowly raise my head and wipe away my tears but can’t bring myself to say anything.
He hands something to me, and I furrow my brow, wondering what he has. “It fell out of your pocket, but I think you should look at it,” he gently coaxes me.
Taking a closer look at what he has, I recognize the picture. It’s the picture of the complete group Beleth just gave me. Now, an X is over the image of Jillian, the real version of her, with her short blonde bob. Curious if I’m missing anything else, I flip it over. On the back, a name appears, and then a line slowly strikes through it.
Jillian Taylor