57. Kiera
KIERA
Dom sighed as the weight of the question hit her.
But after what I’d learned, she was in no position to lie, and I think she knew that.
“The Oracle told me that it wouldn’t be safe to reach out to you.
I’d risk bringing Zeus right to your door.
They told me that the time would come, and they would let me know. ”
I had to swallow down my scoff. For all the favor she’d tried to curry with them, it was a bit vindicating to know that even Dom’s knowledge had its limits. Scary, too.
“Every time I asked about you, they kept pushing me off. So I started keeping an eye on you myself. Tracking your profiles online, keeping tabs on what school you were in and what company Maura was keeping. But at a certain point, even that started to feel dangerous.”
She swallowed hard before shaking her head. “That’s not the whole truth. I… The P.I. I’d hired brought me a photo of you. Back when you were sixteen and you dyed your hair black and started wearing it straight.”
I blinked as a vivid memory of that terrible hair dye rose to the surface. “Jesus, that was a lifetime ago.”
“I know,” Dom muttered. And I could have sworn something like a smirk tugged at her lips before her sadness came crashing back in.
“It hurt… seeing that photo. I’d seen pictures of you before, but something about that one…
the pain in your eyes, how lost you looked.
It made me feel like I’d failed you. No, I knew it.
And I knew then that I had to stop digging.
Because if I got any closer, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from showing up and ruining your life all over again. ”
“You didn’t ruin my life…” I bit my lip, struggling to meet her gaze.
But she just scoffed, “Didn’t I? When you think about that night, when you think about everything that happened to you afterward, don’t you hate me just a little bit?”
The question stoked the heat in my chest. “Hate isn’t quite the word…”
I felt abandoned. Confused. Worthless. But knowing what she’d saved me from, I wasn’t sure that I could hate Dom. Not completely. Not anymore.
“So after you saw that picture… you just let me go?” I shifted my weight, hands clenching at my sides.
“No. I never let you go, Kiera. But… I took a step back. Let the P.I. handle monitoring you, checked in only when a point of concern came up. I tried to turn my focus to The Oracle’s mission, and toward building the shop as a place where we could house Violence.
And then I found Leo and Spencer, and… I trusted them.
In a way I haven’t trusted anyone else before. ”
My skin prickled as I met her gaze. “That night that they found me… I was their mission?”
“Not exactly.” She scrubbed her palm over her face. “Yes, I sent them there because of you. But they didn’t know that. For a few months, I’d been sending them on ‘missions from The Oracle’ when I knew you’d be out with Gabe. I didn’t trust him around you, and I didn’t trust myself either.”
“And you didn’t trust them enough to tell them the truth?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I didn’t trust them not to pry,” Dom grumbled before taking a deep breath. “I never told them to look out for you — and it’s a good thing I didn’t, because they’d have been scouring the bar for a terrible black dye job.”
I rolled my eyes, but she continued. “I just told them that they needed to go and keep an eye out for any trouble. It’s like, ninety percent of what The Oracle has us do anyway. And I knew that if Gabe started something, that they would finish it before he could hurt you.”
“They certainly did that,” I scoffed, remembering the bloody mess they’d made of his face. “You know you need to tell them, right?”
“I know,” Dom frowned.
“And that you should have told them that first night.”
“I know.” Her voice dropped an octave as she fought back her frustration. “I should have come clean about a lot of shit a lot sooner. But that night wasn’t easy for me either, Kiera. I walked into the kitchen, and suddenly, I got dropped into the deep end of my worst fucking nightmare.”
“Ouch. Tell me how you really feel…” I rolled my eyes.
But she just scoffed. “Fuck, you know that’s not what I mean. It’s just…when I sent those two to look out for you, it had been a hypothetical. I never considered what it would look like for them to get involved, and I certainly didn’t expect them to bring you home.
“I still wasn’t even sure that it was you!
” She threw her hands up. “At least, I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t.
You didn’t look like that terrified little girl in the photos anymore.
And if it wasn’t you, then I wouldn’t have to deal with the absolute shitstorm waiting for me at Zeus, let alone the chewing out I was sure The Oracle had in store for me. ”
“You could have just asked…” I shifted on my heels. “I wouldn’t have stayed if I knew?—”
“That’s exactly why I couldn’t tell you, Kiera.” Her expression darkened as she pinned me with those icy blue eyes. “I couldn’t let you run back to him and whatever fucked-up plans he had for you. I couldn’t kick you out of the house with no plan. Not again.”
The anguish on her usually stoic face made my heart clench.
Her jaw clenched as she ran a hand through her slicked back hair.
“My family ruined your life enough already. I tried to get you out of here before you could remember me. But once you were in place, The Oracle wouldn’t allow an extraction.
And seeing you actually start to build a life for yourself, seeing the way that Leo and Spencer make you happy…
It wouldn’t have been fair to drag you back under into my mess.
Not when you finally had a chance to be free from this fucking hellhole. ”
I lifted my chin, holding her gaze even as the adrenaline made me shake. “I didn’t need you to free me, Dom.”
“No, but you deserved it, Kiera. You deserved a chance to start over. To get away from me and this place.”
“Oh my god, would you stop with the self-flagellating bullshit already?” Faced with her stubbornness, I threw my hands up, unable to contain the irritation she so expertly teased from me. “I don’t want to get away from you! Have you ever considered what I wanted ?”
She blinked, seemingly shocked by my explosion. “What do you?—?”
“I wanted you to come back for me! Even as a kid, even in all of the confusion, all I wanted was to have my fucking friend back! After my dad died, you were the only person I had. And then you were just fucking gone!”
My chest fell and rose as I let the words settle between us.
Even as they left my lips, though, I knew it was only half of the truth. As a kid, I had daydreamed about being rescued. But that was before I had any idea what Dom’s life really looked like during those years. The scars on her back told me that path wouldn’t have been any easier.
And even if she’d waited until I was older, until she had the mansion and a place to hide me away, I couldn’t imagine a world where I would actually have said yes. Would I really trust this shadowy stranger stepping back into my life enough to leave my mother or even Gabriel behind?
No, I scoffed internally. I was way too entrenched in their abuse to see their lies for what they were.
But knowing that was true didn’t dull the resentment roaring through my heart. After all, my life without her hadn’t been sunshine and daisies. I’d seen the absolute worst of humanity growing up, and it only got worse the less money Maura had.
I’d been neglected, abused, and entirely forgotten by the people who were meant to take care of me. And even if I knew that the alternative wasn’t any better, I couldn’t help feeling like Dom hadn’t followed through on her promise to my father to protect me.
After a moment of silence, Dom shook her head. “I’m sorry. I wish things had been different, Kiera. If nothing else, I hope you know that.”
The air between us was charged, though I couldn’t have named the exact feeling that lingered. And then, as quickly as that window of honesty had opened between us, it shut.
Dom took a step back, clearing her throat as she gestured toward the Grey Ghost. “It’s yours now. If you want it. Happy birthday.”
I looked at the bike for a long moment before looking back at her. “Someone still has to teach me to ride it.”
“That’s a job for someone you trust. With your life, potentially.”
But as she took my arm and led me toward the gold Camaro, I couldn’t help looking back at the Ghost. And despite all of the anger and hurt that was left for me to sort through, the sight of that bike left me with one thought.
After all of the dust settles, I hope that it's you.