Chapter 59 Kiera
KIERA
Clearing her throat, Spencer set down the files in her hand. “Alright, we’ve been searching for hours now. Let’s get you fed.”
“I can keep going if you—”
“Food.” Spencer smirked, grabbing the papers from my hands. “Come.”
Ducking my head, I tried to hide the blush from my cheeks as she led me out of the storage unit, scooping up the takeout and dimming the unit lights as we stepped out into the fresh air just outside.
With the lights off, the stars shone bright over the lot. I took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the brisk late fall air against my reddened cheeks. After being on my feet so long, the chill helped soothe some of the ache in my bones.
“God,” I groaned as I sat on the floor. “I didn’t realize how sore standing would make me.”
Spencer set down the takeout bag before plopping down beside me, stretching out her legs. “Can think of a few other ways to make you sore, Bunny.”
“Shut up,” I shoved her shoulder, sending her sprawling back against the pavement.
“Man down!” She cried out, clutching her chest in mock pain as she rolled closer to me. “Someone, call a medic!”
“Shhhh!” I laughed, trying to cover her mouth with my hand. “Someone’s going to hear that and think you’re serious.”
She grinned up at me, the stars reflecting in her deep earthy eyes. “No one’s gonna hear shit. We’re the only ones here.”
I held her gaze for a moment too long, unable to help the smirk on my face from mirroring hers. She was stunning on her back, the hair pushed back from her face and the long lines of her neck and jawline on full display. But it was the curve of her lips that made my stomach sink.
Shaking my head, I turned my attention to the takeout bag. “Come on. The food’s not getting any warmer.”
As I sorted out the containers of sesame noodles and beef and broccoli, Spencer sat up in a single, smooth motion, her arm pressing against mine when she reached for the bag. “Did they send us any fortune cookies? That’s the best part.”
I raised a brow, unsheathing my chopsticks. “Aren’t you supposed to save the best part for last?”
“I’m a bit indulgent, if you hadn’t noticed.” Grabbing my chopsticks and sticking them into my carton of noodles, Spencer placed a fortune cookie into my hands instead. “No point in waiting to take what you want.”
I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. “You’re goofy, you know that?”
“I prefer the word fun. Now get cracking!” Spence ripped the plastic baggie open with her teeth before cracking the cookie pieces over a container of wonton soup.
While she butchered her cookie, I set my food container down, peeling the wrapper and cracking the cookie cleanly in half.
“Welllll?” Spencer waggled her brows. “What does yours say?”
“‘The architect of your destiny is yourself.’ Jeez, no pressure.” I laughed.
“That’s kind of nice. Mine just has a Coldplay lyric.” Spencer smiled, sticking the fortune into her pocket and digging into her soup.
As I took the first bite of my noodles, I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend the night. The stuff with Violence had been a shock at first, but the longer I spent with my captors, the clearer it was to me that Spencer was a sweetie down to her core.
Not just sweet. Good. Better than I could have imagined — than any of us probably deserved.
And that realization was a shock to my system.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, catching my distant gaze.
“Nothing,” I cleared my throat, trying to shake the furrow from my brow.
“Kiera…” Spencer raised an eyebrow. “Spill. Is it Violence? Your extended stay?”
“That’s an interesting way to say ‘captivity,’” I teased before stabbing my chopsticks back into my noodles. “I mean, I’m sure that stuff isn’t helping, but…”
“Did I say something wrong?” Spencer’s smile quickly shifted to a concerned frown.
“God, no.” I laughed, “If anything, it’s the opposite.”
Spencer’s brow scrunched as she set her food down. “Okay, I’m going to need you to be straight with me.”
“First time you said that,” I smirked.
“Kieraaaaa,” they whined, snatching my noodles from my hands.
“Hey!” I shouted, trying to grab them back, but they held the container just out of my reach.
“No! You get these back when you start talking.”
Meeting her deep brown gaze, I knew that she was being serious. But could I really tell her what was on my mind? It’s now or never I suppose.
Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I let my gaze drop to the floor.
“I don’t know, Spencer. Honestly? I’m just so blown away by you.
You care so much about your family, about doing right by them.
I never thought that I’d think money laundering was a redeemable quality, but you even make that look good. ”
Spencer’s laugh rumbled over the pavement and straight through my chest, but I just pursed my lips. “I’m serious. I’m… not sure what the non-shitty way to say this is.”
Letting her smile simmer down to a smirk, she met my gaze. “Try me. I’ve got thick skin.”
Those fucking eyes… Everything about what was happening was destabilizing, but those eyes had a way of keeping me grounded. Just say it.
I took a deep breath. “I just wish I could have found a guy like you instead of wasting all that time with Gabriel.”
On the surface, Gabriel was everything I should have wanted: tall, good job, relatively handsome. Though handsome was a low bar to meet when you had nice clothes and fancy haircuts. But despite my resistance to Maura’s rhetoric, deep down I really believed that should have been enough for me.
“When I was with him, I tried so desperately to be happy with what I got. But even at his best, all I’ve ever been able to muster for Gabe was mild appreciation.”
And at his worst? I couldn’t deny any longer that that boy was rotten down to the core.
I bit my cheek, “But with you…”
With Spencer, I never stopped smiling. She was kind and funny and protective and sweet and I wanted to spend every second with her, even when I was mad.
Even after everything I’d seen at The Hollow, The Gauntlet…
All of it. And I still, somehow thought she was one of the best people I’d ever met. Shouldn’t that count for something?
I cleared my throat, trying again. “That kiss…” I didn’t let myself think about it often, scared by the seismic tremor it sent through my psyche. “I’m just… lost.”
The smirk on Spencer’s face faded to a worried frown. Her gaze was distant, pensive, but it shot a dagger of panic through my chest as if it was a glare.
Oh fuck, why did I say that? It was one thing to flirt with the straight girl knowing you didn’t have a shot. But comparing Spencer to my shitty ex? Bringing her into the mess I was still sorting out in my mind? I should have waited until I was sure.
I opened my mouth to apologize, but before the words could come out, Spencer let out a deep breath of her own. “Maybe what you’re looking for isn’t a guy like me.”
As her eyes met mine, I could see the hope she was holding down. The merciful thing would be to deny it, to keep the lid on my questions until I had some answers.
But along with hope, there were nerves, too. As cool as she was trying to play it, Spencer was worried that she had pushed things too far with me.
I couldn’t let her think that. Not when it was the farthest thing from the truth. Not when I still dreamed about the feeling of her lips against mine. “I’ve… wondered the same thing.”
That ember of hope in her eyes quickly sparked into a blaze. But I shook my head, trying to contain it before it became a wildfire. “But we can’t. I don’t want to be some asshole straight girl that uses you to experiment. You deserve better than that.”
Spencer grinned devilishly. “What if I was into being your little experiment?”
“Spencer…” I frowned.
“I’m being serious. Teaching you…” She couldn’t hide the blaze of excitement from her eyes at the thought. “I’d be honored to be your first.”
“Besides,” she angled her shoulder closer to mine. “Better you try this out on me than Callahan. Tough as the ol’ Major seems, she’s as tender-hearted as they come. Might not take too kindly to being jerked around, so it’s better you figure out for sure before you go for her.”
I furrowed my brow. “Who said anything about Leo?”
Spencer raised her brow playfully. “Bunny, come on. We’ve all seen how you look at her. Do you not…?”
“Not what we’re talking about.” I shot her a glare, but that fucking grin of hers made it impossible not to smile.
“What are we talking about then?” Her gaze dropped down to my lips, the excitement painted plainly across her face. She wanted me. Bad.
And as I drifted into her magnetic pull, I started to think I might want her just as much.