26. Cord
26
CORD
“ I t’s nice to see you,” I leaned in and whispered, breathing in Juni’s scent. I hadn’t slept at all last night once I got into my head that she’d been the one to put fresh sheets on my bed and I’d snuggled into the pillow, pretending it was her.
It should’ve been. It probably would’ve been, had I handled things differently.
I’d missed her so much I ached. But, like all the time I spent in the hospital with her by my bedside, that was me thinking selfishly rather than what was best for her. It was probably a relief for her, each time she went home and slept in her own bed.
I scrubbed my face just from thinking about the ever-increasing list of things I wanted to apologize for.
I glanced in her direction, unable to keep myself from looking at her, and her eyes met mine. I wished I’d had a few minutes, at least, to talk to her alone when I arrived .
“Let’s get started.” Decker stood at the head of the table. “Before we do, I want to remind everyone that everything said here today, and in subsequent meetings, is one hundred percent off the record and is not to leave this room. Metaphorically speaking.”
He looked directly at each person seated at the table and waited for them to agree before moving on to the next. It was a conversation he and I had had earlier after we’d left the Goat, where we’d met Pete. When he got to me, I nodded anyway.
“First, I’ll run through what we know so far.”
Most of what he said was a repeat of what I already knew. The kid who’d tried to kill me, Joseph Wilkins Jr., was the only child of Joseph Sr. and his wife, Brianna. Both parents had a connection to my mother. Deck had stumbled upon a website for high school reunions where multiple years’ worth of yearbooks from the local high school had been uploaded.
In the one from her senior year, there was a photo of my mother with Joe Sr. They’d been voted cutest couple. It was wild to see my mom at that age. I couldn’t recall ever seeing photos of her unless they were taken with us kids. There weren’t even any with my dad that I remembered.
I’d taken a screenshot of it when Decker showed it to me, and studied it on my way here. There was something about the guy that looked familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. Joe Junior favored his mother rather than his dad, so that wasn’t it. Still, it niggled at me.
In another photo of my mom with Brianna, both were wearing cheerleading outfits and the caption read their names followed by “Best friends and cheer sisters.”
Decker was certain that, rather than it being a coincidence, it had had some bearing on the son’s actions.
Me? I had a hard time buying it. It made a lot more sense that Jimmy Rooker was somehow involved.
However, the mystery of how Joe Junior had circumvented having his profile entered into the security system was cleared up when I looked for his employment records and couldn’t find any.
After Pete said none of the other cowboys recognized the kid, I thought back to the one and only time I’d met him in person. It was the night before my attempted murder, when I was headed out in the snowstorm to get the herd to safety. I’d seen him parked outside the estate gates and asked if I could help him. After he’d said he was Buck, I told him to get in the truck and ride out with me. I couldn’t remember seeing him after we met up with the rest of the crew and he went out with a group on snowmobiles. Or at least that’s what I thought he’d done.
“Sam and Juni, any luck looking through Miss Cena’s journals?” Deck asked.
“Not so far,” Sam responded. “We were just about to get started when Gray asked us to join you.”
“My gut is telling me the kid’s parents are involved in some way. Each of them is being interviewed separately this morning. I expect I’ll hear if anything of interest comes of it.”
I scrubbed my face again.
“Cord? You got somethin’ to say?”
“No, sir.” I’d already told him I thought it was a huge stretch to think anyone not connected to Jimmy Rooker would want me dead. Especially my mother’s ex-boyfriend and her former best friend.
“Then, let’s move on.” He looked from Sam to Juni. “What I want the two of you to focus on is anything that mentions either Patricia, Wilkins, or his wife, whose maiden name was Conrad. Also, anything at all about Colorado.” He turned to Grayson. “You said you’d heard Johnny Rooker was living out west. Were you able to recall where you’d heard it?”
“No, sir,” Gray answered like I had.
“I’m coming up empty there too. Once the guy turned eighteen, it’s like he walked off the face of the earth. I even went as far as looking at protective-custody and witness-protection programs, but there wasn’t anyone matching his age, name, or social security number. No driver’s license in any state, no bank accounts. Nada .”
Decker stopped talking and studied something on his phone. After several seconds, he raised his head. “Also on that note, no death records either.”
While the rest of us waited for him to say something else, he went back to his phone, then cleared his throat.
“The precursors to the present-day internet were developed in the sixties. Functions were specific to military and government applications and, on the rare occasion, academics. If John, or Johnny, Rooker had no involvement with any of the three, the ability to track him, even as recently as thirty years ago, just wasn’t there yet.” He looked around the room. “Which means prior to twenty years ago, it was a helluva lot easier for someone to go off the grid. ”
He seemed distracted, and I wished he’d just tell us why.
“Do you want us to include Johnny in our search?” Sam asked.
“Affirmative. Given this family named the firstborn son the same fucking thing for four generations, keep your eye out for nicknames and initials too. I have a strong feeling that’s the key to why this seventeen-year-old kid tried to commit murder.”
“Understood,” Sam responded.
“Gray will be working with the two of you. He’ll have the ability to quickly scan whatever you find and get it over to me. I don’t want you or Juni bothering with that. The two of you are most familiar with those journals and will notice things the rest of us might not.”
Decker looked over at me. “I want you in with them in case they need any help. If I’ve got something else for you to follow up on once I hear from Pete, I’ll let you know.”
“Yes, sir,” I responded, but something was bugging me. I’d always known my mom was young when Buck was born, but I hadn’t realized the significance of it until right this minute. I swiped the screen of my cell and opened the photo Deck had sent me of Joseph Wilkins with my mom when they were still in high school. “Holy shit,” I said under my breath, looking up at him with wide eyes.
“What is it?” he asked, walking in my direction. I led him out to the front porch.
“Buck was born in December of 1992.”
Deck’s eyes scrunched. “From what we’ve been able to piece together, your mom left sometime that year.”
“Because she was pregnant?”
He nodded. “I think you’re on to something.”
“I need a minute.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”
I walked down the porch steps and to the path that led to the cottage, taking deep breaths as I went.
Based on the yearbook evidence, my mom was at that high school for at least part of her senior year, if not all of it. No doubt Decker would be able to find out if she’d graduated. Hell, even I could by calling the school myself.
There was a chance she’d met my dad that year and he was Buck’s father, but it seemed unlikely. To the best of my knowledge, he’d never left Colorado .
Combined with the resemblance between my oldest brother and Joe Wilkins Sr., the logical assumption was that he was Buck’s dad.
My mind raced, remembering the physical, mental, and emotional abuse “our” father had inflicted on Buck. We’d all experienced it, but his was by far the worst. Could this be the reason it seemed like Roscoe hated his namesake?
I stomped the snow from my boots, opened the cottage door, and went inside. A minute later, I heard a knock.
“Cord, can I come in?” Juni’s sweet voice was like a balm to my soul.
I rushed over and unlocked the door. The first thing she did when she stepped inside was embrace me. We held each other tight but didn’t speak. There’d be time for words soon enough. Right now, I hoped she felt my love as much as I did hers.
She was the first to drop her arms and shed her jacket, then took my hand and led me to the sofa, where we huddled close. I wanted to pull her onto my lap, brand the skin under her sweater with the heat of my hand, and kiss her. I did none of those things .
“I think Joe Wilkins is Buck’s biological father,” I blurted. Her head was on my shoulder, and I felt her nod. “It all adds up in a way his relationship with my dad never did. Not just that. He was born in December of the same year my mom would’ve graduated.”
Juni raised her head, and our eyes met. “Gray said Buck had to leave yesterday.”
“Yeah, and now, I can’t decide whether that was for the best or if he should’ve been here to piece it together himself. Or at least raise the question.”
“As much as you’re reeling right now, I think it’s better he isn’t here.”
I cupped her cheek. “Reeling is a good word for what I’m feeling, but, Juni, there’s something more important to me than my immediate family’s history. Not something, someone. You. I want to make things right between us.” I rested my forehead against hers. “I should’ve been honest about my feelings yesterday. The truth was I was afraid that if I admitted exactly how much you mean to me, it might freak you out.”
She smiled.
“Instead, I said words that were also true. I do want to be your friend. But I want so much more with you. Sam said that, in her letter, Miss Cena wrote that all the money in the world isn’t as important as being with people you love. I feel that so profoundly right now. Nothing is as important.”
“Cord—”
“Let me say it, Juniper. Don’t stop me.”
Her eyes darted back and forth between mine. When she didn’t speak, I did.
“I love you. I think I have from the first time I saw you. I remember the next day, when you showed me around and I asked you to tell me your faults. It was because you felt so perfect. Not that you seemed that way. It’s how I felt . I’ve never met anyone like you, but more, I’ve never loved anyone the way I do you.”
She reached up and put her finger on my lips. “I need to talk now, Cord.”
I nodded, hoping she wasn’t about to let me down easy.
“I love you so much that sometimes it feels like my heart will beat out of my chest. The night they found you out in the storm”—she took a deep breath and blinked away tears—“Sam and I thought you were dead.” Her voice cracked. “All I could think was how I’d never told you I loved you. Then, when they said you were alive…God, the relief I felt. But I still didn’t tell you.”
I brushed her lips with mine. “It wasn’t the right time, darlin’.”
“I know,” she whispered.
We sat silently for a few minutes before she spoke again. “Do you think you should check your phone?”
I’d heard it go off at least twice, but I ignored it. When I pulled it out, I saw messages from Decker and Pete. I shoved it in my pocket without reading either of them.
“I have to be the one who tells Buck.” Which meant I had to figure out how in the hell I’d get to Colorado and back within forty-eight hours. When I heard my cell go off again, I knew that, as much as I wanted to stay in this cottage with Juni and ignore the rest of the world, I couldn’t.
“We should go back to the main house,” I said.
Her cell pinged. “My uncle is here.”
I stood and held my hand out to her. She took it, and I pulled her into my arms.
“You and I still have a lot to talk about, Juni.”
“I’ll be ready,” she responded, winking.
We walked out of the cottage and saw Pete leaning against the police cruiser with his arms folded.
“How are you doing?” he asked when we got closer.
“To be honest, when it comes to all this shit, I don’t have a clue.” I squeezed Juni’s hand, hoping she knew I wasn’t talking about my feelings for her. I loved her, and right now, that felt like the only real thing in my life. When she squeezed back, I hoped it meant she got it.
“I’m sorry to say I’ve got more to tell you,” said Pete.
“Might as well get it all out in the open.”
We followed him up the steps and into the house. No one said a word even after we joined them at the table. It appeared they were as shell-shocked as I was. Sam, the first one to get up, walked over and hugged me.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I was so grateful to know her. That we were blood relation explained the kinship I’d felt from the moment we met.
She returned to her seat, and Juni and I sat in ours. Gray brought his uncle a chair, and he thanked him, but said he’d rather stand .
Decker got up too. “Pete, why don’t you fill us in on the parts you’re permitted to from your conversations with Joe Senior and Brianna?”
“There isn’t a whole lot that’s relevant.” He looked at Juni and winked. She smiled at what I figured was an inside joke. “Anyway, right before I concluded the conversation with Joe Senior, I received the message from Decker about Cord’s theory, which was as much of a revelation, if you ask me.”
“Did you run it by him?” I asked.
“Sure did. When I asked if he was aware Patricia Rooker was pregnant at the time they both graduated, he blanched. Clearly, he was not.”
“What about Brianna?” Decker asked.
“Oh, she knew. Not that she’d admit it. Her response was only one of many things I suspect she was untruthful about.”
Pete looked from me to Decker, who’d cleared his throat.
“As I said earlier, I strongly believe the link between the father, mother, and Patricia Rooker is the key to why this kid did what he did. However, it doesn’t give us a motive for his actions. ”
“Why Cord, though?” Grayson asked.
“I have a theory, but that’s all it is presently,” Decker responded.
“What’s the next step?” I asked, thinking more about how soon I could travel to Colorado than the investigation into my attempted murder.
“I had to go up the chain of command farther than I expected to, but I was able to get authorization for Decker to interview both parents,” said Pete.
My eyes opened wide.
“But not the son. At least not yet,” he added.
“When are you talking to Joe Senior and Brianna?” I asked,
“As soon as we return to the station. I was able to convince both parents to stick around. Brianna was less willing than Joe was. However, we only have so much time before their patience runs out—Brianna’s especially. I want to keep Joe and Brianna separated until Decker has a chance to speak with both on their own.”
“Let’s go,” Decker said, picking up the bag where he’d already stuffed his laptop. “I’ll stay in touch.”
“Before you go, I’m assuming you want us to continue looking through the journals?” said Sam .
Decker nodded once. “A slew of questions remain, so yes.”
“I’ll walk you out.” I followed Pete and him to the door.
“My brother needs to hear this from me,” I said once we were outside.
Deck’s eyes met mine. “Agreed. We’ll leave in the morning unless you want to try to travel tonight.”
“Wait. We’ll leave?”
“You heard correctly.”
“Why?”
Decker put his hand on my shoulder. “The clock starts ticking the minute you leave the Lilacs property, and you have forty-eight hours to get your ass back here. I’m going to make sure that happens. So we’re taking my jet.” He leveled his gaze at me. “You have enough on your mind, Wheaton. Let me be the timekeeper.”
“I appreciate this.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Buck is a member of my team, but he’s also a friend. You are too, Cord. Whatever I can do to ease the burden you and your siblings are carrying, I will.”
“I don’t know if she’ll agree to it, but?—”
“Yes. Juni can come with us.”
I grinned. “Thanks. For everything. I mean that.”
I stayed on the porch a few minutes after Pete and Decker got in the car and left. Was it wrong for me to want Juni to go with me? Was I only thinking of myself again and not of her? I didn’t want to be that guy. She had her own life and sure hadn’t been able to live it in the last few weeks. Maybe it would be best if I didn’t even bring it up.