Chapter 22
Jemma stood next to a large boulder at the edge of the cliffside. The sea below roared, drowning out the distant laughter and chatter from the farmers” market. She squinted against the glare of the sun reflecting off the water. The sea breeze was relentless, blowing hair across her face in wild arcs. She brushed the strands away, a momentary shield against the onslaught of emotions Rocco”s presence stirred in her.
Rocco sat on the boulder, his posture relaxed and calm. She envied his ability to remain unfazed in the most chaotic situations. The swap of handlers had to be seamless. But the arrangement would be different than Rocco expected. She wasn’t sure how he’d react. Being in Dajabon was critical for her to take on Nomar when he emerged from whatever pit of hell he was hiding in. Jemma would never get a better chance than the one she had now to end things once and for all with Nomar.
”Are you sure it’s safe to talk out here?” Her voice barely carried over the sound of the waves.
”Yeah. Tank, and I do it all the time.”
An emotion flickered in his espresso eyes, making her feel vulnerable and exposed. Like he could see into her soul. He might not like what he saw if he looked deep enough.
“Sometimes we discuss details of the op, and other times we just talk. Never raised any suspicions with anyone.” He dragged a hand slowly down his handsome face. “Is Tank okay?” He shifted on the boulder, an unspoken invitation to join him, but she remained standing, afraid of the proximity.
“Not yet, but he will be.”
“What happened?”
“He took a trip to San Juan to follow up on an old friend of yours, Eddie Baez,” Jemma said, then gave him the rundown on the gang faction Eddie had taken over and his efforts to become a partner with the Sombro Cartel.
Rocco sighed. “Haven’t thought about that kid in a long time. Not surprised, though. He was always too smart for his own good. If he’s taken on a drug gang, then he’ll need to establish inventory and transportation, or he won’t be a leader for long.”
“Tank thought Eddie could be a way for you to get intel on El Sombro if the rumors were true.” Jemma pressed her back against the rock and looked away from Rocco. His rugged sex appeal was too fucking distracting, and she needed to focus. She gave him the rundown of Cedric’s unauthorized raid on the warehouse that ruined Tank’s ability to get intel on Baez. “San Juan DEA mistook Tank for one of Eddie’s gang members and shot him in the hip. He’ll be out six to nine months.”
“And while he’s gone, you’ll be my handler?”
”Is that a problem?” She stiffened and waited for his response.
”Maybe.”
Jemma turned around to face him and immediately regretted it.
A smoldering heat burned in his gaze, a testament to his attraction to her, which appeared to not have diminished since she last saw him three years ago.
The dam of her emotions crumbled.
Jemma said, “I’m sorry for throwing your father’s murder in your face. For pushing you to talk about it when you clearly are still?—”
“Don’t apologize,” Rocco said, then reached a hand toward her.
Jemma placed her hand in his and accepted his help to hoist her body onto the rock beside him. As she balanced on the boulder, Rocco continued to hold her hand, caressing his fingertips slowly over her palm.
“You were right to be concerned about how that might impact the undercover op,” Rocco said, his voice strained. It was a topic that still seemed to pain him. He cleared his throat. “I was surprised when Tank came to me and said you still wanted me to be the UC.”
“You were the best for the role. Your past was a risk we were all willing to take. Obviously, we made the right choice.”
“I’m glad you still feel that way,” Rocco said. “And we might have our first big break.”
“What happened?”
“El Sombro wants to use the Dajabon clinic as part of his transportation route. Shipments will arrive at the clinic. Narcotics will be held and stored until ready to move to the next point on the route. In some cases, partners may pick up their drugs directly.” Rocco tilted his head toward the sky.
“Smart move. Slipping in narcotics into the regular shipments arriving at the clinic wouldn’t get the attention of law enforcement in a town as small as Dajabon,” Jemma said, thinking about the evidence Rocco could obtain that would help them bring Continuing Criminal Enterprise charges against the Sombro Cartel. “This is huge.”
“Told you,” Rocco said, then gave her one of those panty-wetting smiles. “I was going to ask Tank to stick around to help with strategy over the next few weeks. But now that he’s out and you’re in, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“What? Why?” It was to her advantage if Rocco believed it was his idea that she was staying in Dajabon. She’d be able to hide her search for Nomar easier that way. “Are you questioning my strategic skills?”
“Never,” Rocco said, then his voice dropped lower. “But we should talk about the elephant … on the boulder.” He gazed down at their hands, still holding onto each other.
Jemma had forgotten they were touching like some couple having a romantic afternoon. Something they definitely were not and could never be.
“The kiss?” Jemma said.
“Not the kiss.”
“No?” She was confused and struggling to focus with him so close.
“What happened after the kiss.”
Now she was really lost. Nothing had happened between them after the kiss. He’d taken her back to the hotel, and they hadn’t talked again until she tried to get answers about the contents of the brown envelope. When he walked out on her, Jemma thought she wouldn’t see him again. And she hadn’t for three long years.
“Rocco, I don’t understand.”
His response was reflective. ”I know what I should say. What you want me to say. But you’re going to be disappointed.”
She cringed, understanding where he was going. What a fucking ego!
“I get it. You think I’ll be disappointed that the kiss meant nothing to you?” Her pride flared, her words sharp as flint. She trembled with rage and embarrassment as she snatched her hand from his and jumped down from the boulder. “What? Do you think I spent the past three years reliving that kiss and hoping for a chance to explore what it could mean?” She would never admit the real answer to that question. “Seriously? Like I was pining after you like some dumb teenager.” She felt like a dumb teenager for all the times she couldn’t get Rocco out of her mind. But now was not the time to admit to that weakness.
Rocco”s chuckle was a low rumble, self-deprecating and rueful. ”So I was acting like a dumb teenager. Okay. Good to know.” He leaped from the boulder and stepped right into her personal space.
”What are you talking about?” Jemma demanded.
”I spent the last three years thinking about the kiss. I thought about it way fucking more than I should’ve.”
Her heart skipped a beat. ”You did?”
Rocco leaned forward, his intensity bridging the gap between them. ”Don’t try to deny that a connection formed between us. Sure, we said all the right things and did the right things by not exploring it, but we can’t hide the fact that it was there.”
The confession hit her like a wave, leaving her unsteady. ”That’s not what I was expecting you to say.”
He searched her face for something she wasn’t sure she could give.
”But is it what you wanted me to say?”
”I don’t know how to answer that.”
”Why?” His question was soft but insistent.
She’d never felt so vulnerable, so exposed. ”Because I’m your handler now. I can’t afford to make any missteps. Thinking about whether something intimate could develop between us is a distraction we can’t afford.”
“Because we need to focus on the op …”
”Right,” she affirmed, though her heart wasn”t in it.
“Look, my entire life here is a lie. My handler was the one relationship where I could be myself. I didn’t have to pretend with Tank.”
“And you won’t have to pretend with me either.”
“I’m glad you feel that way,” Rocco said, then rested his hands on her shoulders. “Because if this is going to be a successful partnership, you need to know what I’m dealing with.”
Jemma didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Her mind was struggling to process everything Rocco was saying. He wasn’t holding back. That scared her and excited her at the same time.
“That connection and pull I felt for you three years ago, the one that made me kiss you knowing that I shouldn’t,” Rocco said, “I still feel it. It’s stronger than ever. It was hard as hell to resist you back then. It’s going to be infinitely harder now. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to do the right thing with you as my handler. So don’t fucking tempt me.”
“I understand,” Jemma said, reeling from what awaited her. Resisting him would be challenging, but she was the Group Supervisor of Proteus. Her job was to ensure the handler-undercover-agent relationship didn’t cross any lines.
“Good,” Rocco said. His arms snaked around her and jerked her forward. Before she could resist or protest, Rocco’s lips seized hers in an electrifying kiss that left no room for confusion.
A surge of long-suppressed feelings, raw and unfiltered, were unleashed.
Jemma”s world narrowed to the feeling of his lips on hers, and the cliffside, the sea, and the farmers” market faded away.