Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ross
I had no idea word had somehow been leaked about the offer from Hart Records, but I wake up to a fuck ton of texts from friends in the industry asking questions. Offering advice. A counter-offer from a label I’ve never heard of. Not to mention a voice mail from someone at my old record label.
What the fuck?
I slipped out while Wynter was still sleeping because I needed to get a handle on things before I talked to her, and my first call is to Sasha.
“Hey.” She sounds busy, and I can hear her kids babbling in the background.
“I have forty-seven texts about my deal with Hart Records,” I say without preamble. “What’s going on?”
She hesitates. “Hang on—Marina, can you take the baby? Thanks.”
There’s the sound of rustling, a door closing, and then silence.
“Okay. I’m back.” Her voice is calm and patient. “We decided to test the waters. If there’s really interest from both the industry and the public, it gives us a better idea of what we do next.”
“Without running it by me.”
“That’s on me,” she says diplomatically. “I had a busy day and by the time I got the kids to bed, you were on stage. I fell asleep before I could reach out. I apologize.”
“Come on, Sasha.” I run a hand through my hair in annoyance. “You don’t let things happen accidentally. You’re extremely competent and organized. You didn’t tell me because you knew I’d protest.”
She sighs. “I honestly fell asleep before you got off stage. But I had the time to text you before. And yes, I knew you wouldn’t be happy.”
“So why do it?”
“My job is to do the hard things. The things no one else wants to do. In this case, we had to gauge interest. Not your interest, but public interest. Beyond the crowds who’ve been seeing you live with Onyx Knight.
As you’ve mentioned, it’s hard to know if their excitement is genuinely for you or if it’s simply your proximity to the band. ”
This pisses me off.
What pisses me off even more is that she’s right.
This isn’t my first day in the music business. I’ve been in and around it for most of my adult life. I know how this works. And Hart Records would be fronting a lot of money to make this happen. They reserve the right to do market research ahead of this kind of investment.
I just wish it hadn’t caught me off-guard.
“You mad?” she asks quietly when I don’t respond for a while.
“Yeah. But mostly I’m frustrated. Because now my decision becomes public. When it was just us, I could say no and no one would be the wiser. Now if I say no, there’s going to be a whole campaign in the media speculating on the real reason.”
“We can handle that,” she says immediately. “How ever you want to do it. Our PR people can spin the narrative.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit. “And this just makes my decision harder.”
“Well, I don’t know if this will help or not, but public reaction to the news is better than we expected. A lot better. People are genuinely excited. I can send you some screen shots of posts and comments. There are a lot of people who are excited to hear new music from you.”
“That’s all well and good, but people are now crawling out of the woodwork, including my old label, journalists—there’s a lot of shit for me to navigate and I’m busy.
I’ve got two jobs at the moment. I don’t have time to deal with this kind of scrutiny.
And now I can’t tell my girlfriend that I’ve been mulling over a new opportunity—she’s going to see it everywhere before I have the chance. ”
“I apologize for that. I didn’t realize you and Wynter hadn’t discussed it.”
“We’re busy!” I snap. “And this isn’t the kind of thing I can send a quick text about.
I was waiting for her to get here. She arrived last night, and after the gig we were both exhausted.
It was supposed to be a conversation over breakfast but there was an issue with a delivery that I had to handle.
Meanwhile, my phone literally has not stopped buzzing with notifications. ”
“Just ignore them. You don’t have to do anything today. Focus on the tour and what you’re doing. Talk to Wynter. We’ll make sure security is tighter than ever for the next couple of shows so who gets backstage is pre-approved. Okay?”
What can I say other than yes?
As much as it irks me in this instance, Sasha knows what she’s doing. She runs Onyx Knight—and the label’s other bands—seamlessly. Nothing falls through the cracks. She and her mother have more money than they’ll ever spend so they don’t do this to get rich. They do it because they love the music.
I have to remember that.
They wouldn’t have offered me anything if they didn’t believe in me.
Too bad I’m having so much trouble believing in myself.
“Ross?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Listen, I have to go.” I disconnect and head back up to the room, hoping beyond hope that Wynter is still asleep and hasn’t been online yet.
She’s sitting at the table when I walk in, breakfast in front of her, a cup of what I assume is coffee in her hand.
She glances up with a soft smile. “Good morning.”
“Hey, baby.” I walk over and lean down, kissing her softly. Lingering. Like it might soften whatever frustration or anger she’s feeling.
“There’s coffee and pastries,” she says.
“Not hungry.” I sink into the chair across from her. “But I’ll have some coffee.” I pour myself a cup. “Have you been online?”
“I have.” She takes a bite of a croissant.
I can’t tell if she’s mad or worried or something else.
“You upset with me?”
She shakes her head but it’s a tentative motion, like she’s almost mad but is waiting for a conversation first. “Is there a reason you didn’t tell me?”
“I was waiting for some down time. In person. It didn’t feel like a phone conversation.”
“And last night we were tired.” She nods, nibbling on the croissant.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of another album. A new band. Leaving my secure, cushy job with Onyx Knight to start over. I’m forty-two, Wynter. This isn’t the time of life for that kind of thing.”
“Is there a specific time of life for it, though? I mean, yes, your twenties were more ideal, but you experienced a terrible, tragic loss. Maybe this is fate telling you it’s time to let go of the past and focus on your future.”
“Why do you sound like signing on for another album is a done deal?”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. I could also do the thing where I just open for them as myself. No record deal, a nice salary, and no pressure.”
“Would you want to do that?” She doesn’t seem convinced.
“There’s a lot to consider. If I decide to recreate myself as a solo artist and do the album, it will mean a lot of sacrifice for us as a couple.” I explain the financial details.
Big hazel eyes zoom in on mine.
And all I see in them is…support.
“I’ll go back to work soon,” she says quietly. “I can support us for a year or two until the album takes off.”
She’s really more than I deserve in a woman after all these years alone, but I can’t take advantage of her.
“And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then you find another job within the Onyx Knight organization. It’s not complicated. They promised you you’d have a job if things didn’t work out, right?”
“Yeah.” I lightly drum my fingers on the table. “But the finances are going to be…tricky.”
She shrugs. “I can talk to Harley and Tommy about us moving in with them. You can give up your apartment to save that money, and we’d basically use their house for storage.
If I’m doing the travel nursing thing, I’ll be gone for a couple of months at a time, and you’ll be either at the studio or on tour. ”
I watch her face carefully. “Honey, do you hear yourself? Do you hear what our life will be like?”
“It won’t be easy but we’ll manage.”
“I don’t want you to resent me.”
“I know what I’m getting into.”
“Do you?” He cocks his head. “Being apart will be hard. Being together will be hard because we’ll be worried about everything—money, how the album is doing, what the press is saying, all of it. And there will be an element of scrutiny on you as my girlfriend.”
“I’ve spent a decade watching my sister live that life. I can handle it.”
“Yeah but your sister did it with a multi-millionaire. They weren’t wealthy at the very beginning, but that changed quickly. It probably won’t be that way for me.”
“You’ll still be making money and we’ll have very little in the way of expenses. But we can give it a time limit. Like, I don’t know…let’s say two years? I want to have a baby by the time I’m thirty-five. So, if I’m thirty-four and things aren’t moving the direction we want them to, we reassess.”
I put down my coffee cup and reach across the table for her hand. “I need you to know—I won’t do this if it means losing you.”
“Why would you lose me?”
“Because I think it’s going to be harder than either of us imagine. You know what the chances are that the album takes off? That I actually have another hit? That my career takes off like it did twenty years ago.”
“There are no guarantees in life, Ross. We both know that.”
“For some reason, I thought you would try to talk me out of revamping the band.”
“I don’t want to talk you into or out of anything. I want you to follow your heart, even if it makes things harder for a while. I want to support you in whatever way you need.”
“It feels like this is all about me. What about what you need?”
“Right now, all I need is you.”
God, this woman is amazing.
“You have me.” I squeeze her hand.
“Then the only question is what you want.”
I hesitate but only for a few seconds.
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I’m chomping at the bit to get out there and do what I do—with my own music, my own band. It’s easy to pretend you don’t want something that you absolutely can’t have. It’s something else entirely when the opportunity presents itself.
“I honestly don’t know,” I admit, looking away.
“Then take as much time as you need to do what’s right for yourself. Don’t worry about me.”
“You’re a special lady, Wynter.”
Her smile widens. “And you’re a special man.”
I want that to be true.
And I really fucking hope I can live up to everyone’s expectations.