Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Ross
We talk late into the night. About Wynter, about singing for Onyx Knight, and even briefly about Thomas Bancroft. Nina eventually goes to bed but Bob and I stay up a while longer, snifters of bourbon in our hands. He gazes over at the mantle, which is covered with framed photographs, and smiles.
“Clara was a beautiful girl,” he says. “I wish I’d known her.”
“She was,” I agree quietly, following his gaze.
Clara at twelve or so, in a cheerleading outfit.
Clara at prom.
Clara and I the night we got engaged—I’m touched that Nina has kept a picture of me in the house after all these years.
But there are also more recent photos.
Bob and Nina standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Bob with two smiling women I assume are his daughters.
A group picture that includes Bob, Nina, his daughters, and people I don’t know, obviously celebrating something like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
There are also pictures of Nina and Jim.
A gallery representative of a life well-lived.
“It’s okay to move on,” Bob says when the silence stretches out. “To love again. Even to forgive Tommy for not telling you a secret that undoubtedly hurt him twice.”
“Twice?” I ask, frowning.
“Once when he found out his father killed a bunch of innocent people, and again when he found out they were people his friend loved.”
Dammit.
Why does everything he says make sense? And why do I feel like an absolute moron now?
“You should call her,” Bob says after a moment. I told him how I ghosted everyone. “Or better yet, fly out to wherever she is and walk in with flowers. Maybe a ring.”
A ring?
Yeah, now that I’m unemployed that’s not in the budget.
Unless…
“And call your band,” he says, practically reading my mind as he gets to his feet. “On that note, this old man is going to bed. Feel free to stay up or crash in the guest room—there’ll be coffee in the morning.” He walks toward the stairs.
“Hey, Bob?” I call after him.
He pauses, looking over his shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, son.”
Son.
When was the last time anyone called me son?
“And Ross?” This time he stops and calls to me.
“Yeah?”
“Bring Wynter around. We’d like to meet her.”
Oh, man, my eyes are feeling a little scratchy and weird.
“If I can get her to forgive me,” I say, trying to steady my voice. “I will.”
Then I’m alone with my thoughts.
Fuck.
I’m such a dumbass.
It’s nearly one in the morning but that means it’s not quite ten in Las Vegas. Hesitantly, I pull up Sasha’s contact info and stare at it for a beat. Then I hit the button and she answers on the first ring.
“Ross?” She doesn’t sound mad or sleepy or anything except…normal. Like she always does. “How are you?”
“It’s been a rough…week.”
“I’m sure it has. How can I help?”
As always, professional. Patient. No censure in her voice.
“How badly did I fuck up?” I ask bluntly.
She chuckles. “Eh, on a scale of one to ten, I’d say a five.”
Okay, that’s better than nine or ten.
“How much will I have to grovel to get my job back?”
“There’s no groveling in a family.” She pauses. “Though I can’t speak for Wynter.”
Ouch.
I wince. “Yeah, that’s probably more of a ten on the fuck-up scale.”
“Where are you?” she asks after a moment.
“Uh, Wisconsin. I went to my late fiancee’s grave and then wound up running into her mom.”
“How was that?” Again, she sounds genuinely concerned.
“Good. Honestly, really good.”
“So, now what?”
“I guess that’s up to you. And the band. Whether or not I still have a job.”
“You have a job. You do owe the band an apology.”
“Tell me about it.” I sigh and close my eyes, letting my head fall onto the back of the couch. “I just don’t know what to say. Jesus. I threw a punch.”
“Multiple punches, from what I understand.”
“Yeah. I just…why would he hide this from me?”
“He didn’t.”
“What?” I’m momentarily confused.
“He didn’t know,” she says quietly. “But I did. Casey and I knew.” She always refers to her mother as Casey in any professional setting.
“And we chose to keep it from you because there was no need. They hired you before Casey and I took over managing Onyx Knight. We did background checks on everyone in the organization for obvious reasons, and when we put two and two together, we asked the band about Ross & the Rock-its. They told us you were adamant that it was in your past and you didn’t want it brought up, ever.
So, we opted to keep it from you. Not Tommy.
He didn’t know until after everything blew up last week. ”
“Christ.” Now I feel even worse.
“If you want to be mad at anyone, it’s me.” She pauses. “I would prefer you didn’t throw a punch—my husband would get grumpy about that—but you’re welcome to vent or tell me all the reasons why my decision was wrong.”
All I can do is sigh.
“I’d never hit a woman,” I mutter. “Certainly not you. And I guess it makes sense when you explain it that way. It just hit hard, I guess. The letter about his death. Then realizing that he was Tommy’s father—it felt like a betrayal in the moment.”
“And now?”
“Now it feels sad. Like I overreacted. Like after nineteen years I shouldn’t have gone off the deep end.”
“I’m not one to butt into your lives but this tells me you still have some unresolved issues. Maybe you should talk to someone.”
I start to protest but then realize—she’s right. “I stopped because it felt like it didn’t help. Nothing was going to bring them back.”
“It’s not about bringing them back. It’s about closure.”
I look around Nina’s quaint living room with the mantel of family photos and realize there’s nothing to close. I’ve moved on with a new family, so to speak, a wonderful woman, and a career I never dreamed of.
“I’m going to call someone because I owe it to everyone, especially Wynter, to be the best version of myself, but sitting here in the house Clara grew up in, I realize there’s nothing left to close. She’s gone and I’m ready to move on.”
“I’m happy to hear that. Both things.”
“Also, before everything blew up, I made a decision. A professional one.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t want to record a new album and do the whole rock star thing.
I love the life, and the music, but I’m not willing to start over.
At least, not completely. Would I be willing to put together some musicians to open for Onyx Knight this summer in Europe?
Yes. I’d even be willing to record a single, see what happens.
But I’m not willing to sacrifice the job I love, and the life I want to build with Wynter, for a second shot at fame. That’s not me. Not anymore.”
“That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.”
“But when the tour is over, unless there are extenuating circumstances—like I record a single that goes platinum or something—I want my old job back. We can train Pete and I’m happy to oversee everything, but I love running the tour.”
“One step at a time,” she says gently. “Seriously. You need to go talk to the band, because while I think they’re willing to forgive and forget, there still has to be a conversation.
And then once that’s settled, we work on hiring musicians and what it will look like opening for them through Europe. ”
“Thank you,” I say, hoping she can hear the sincerity in my voice. “Really. I’m incredibly grateful the lot of you didn’t write me off the second I walked out the door.”
“That’s not how a family operates, and that’s always what this has been.
Yes, it’s business. Yes, there’s a lot of money at stake.
But my mother and I don’t need the money, and Onyx Knight doesn’t truly need management, in the most general sense of the word.
They could pay anyone to run the logistics because their music sells itself.
This was about family. For them and for us. ”
Dammit, I’m all choked up again.
Family.
It’s always been about family.
We’ve never framed it that way in words but that’s always how I’ve been treated—as part of their extended family. And after everything they’ve done for me, I didn’t even give Tommy a chance to explain. Not to mention ghosting Wynter and quitting my job. I walked out right before a show too.
Christ.
I down what’s left of the bourbon and then go out to my car to get my bag and my computer. I need to book a flight to New Mexico and then get a good night’s sleep. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say to Wynter but hopefully it’ll come to me by the time I get there.
I can’t lose her after one moment of insanity, not after how far we’ve come.
I love her.
I just hope she can forgive me.