Chapter Seven
Summer
I keep up a healthy exercise routine, which is why it shocks me that Ben wore me out. I wake up the next morning to the sun streaming through the window in my bedroom. I pat the sheet beside me and find it cool, Ben obviously long gone.
I’m not surprised. I figure he didn’t appreciate being ambushed by a naked woman in his bed, and he withdrew in order to regroup. Too bad for him, I have no intention of giving him space, and in my tiny apartment, he can’t go far anyway. Not without me, as it is his job to guard me, night and day.
Not in the least bit discouraged, I head for the bathroom and brush my teeth. I shower and take a nice, long hot one, cleaning up with my favorite flower-scented body wash and shampoo. I pull on an easy floral dress, braid my hair, decide to forego makeup, and go to find Ben.
He stands at the window, wearing his black athletic pants and no shirt, sunlight, blue clouds, and the cityscape in the background.
I drool at the sight of his muscled back and arms, and have an immediate memory of him taking me last night, his strong body covering my back, his thick cock bringing me ultimate pleasure.
I swallow hard, arousal coming to life inside me again.
I realize he’s dialed his phone and put it to his ear.
I step back to give him some privacy when he speaks.
“Hey, Ava.”
Ava? A spark of jealousy surges through me at the mention of another woman’s name and the fondness in his tone.
“I have bad news,” he says. “I’m going to have to cancel this weekend.”
I take his words like a punch in the stomach. He had plans with this woman? Is she the reason he wanted to keep his distance and kept pulling away? I pushed him into sleeping with me last night, and a wave of nausea takes hold.
I swallow hard, knowing I ought to turn around and leave, not listen in on a private conversation. Eavesdropping is wrong but my feet remain planted firmly on the floor.
“I know,” he goes on. “I was looking forward to it, too, but duty calls.”
And that’s what I am to him, I think, my stomach rolling. A job. Nothing more. Tears prickle in my eyes as I realize I’ve let myself begin to care. I shouldn’t have pushed him, and I don’t need to hear any more.
I spin around, intending to run back to my room, but I slip on the hardwood floor. I grab for the nearest thing to stop my fall, muttering a shriek as my palm hits the corner of the wall and pain shoots through my hand before I fall down in a humiliating heap.
“Shit. Ava, gotta call you back.” He strides over to me. “Summer?” Ben looms over me, staring at me with concern. “You okay?” He holds out a hand to help me up.
“I tripped. I mean, slipped.” My face flames with heat as I let him pull me to my feet. “I fell,” I say lamely.
“Are you hurt?”
I shake my head. “Nothing but my pride. Go ahead and call your—call Ava back.”
A hint of something flashes across his face, but as usual, he is too skilled at hiding his feelings.
He narrows his gaze. “Please finish that statement. You said, ‘Go ahead and call your—’ My what, Summer? Who do you think Ava is to me?” he asks, his voice taking on what sounds like a … hurt edge.
“How should I know?” I hedge, knowing I don’t have long before I have to confess.
“You don’t have to know,” he says. “You just need to tell me what went through your mind.”
I pout, pursing my lips together hard before forcing out the words. “Well, you don’t have a sister, so I assume Ava is your girlfriend.”
He cocks an eyebrow, a true angry scowl on his handsome face. “You think so little of me that you believe I’d sleep with you if I had a girlfriend?” He folds his arms across his chest in a defensive gesture. “I’m offended, Summer.”
I wince, realizing he is right. I took his absence this morning as deliberate, heard his call to a woman, and jumped to all the worst possible conclusions.
“I’m sorry.” I wrap my arms around my waist. “That wasn’t nice of me. It’s just that I heard you say her name, and I was—”
“Jealous?” he asks, nailing the unwanted, embarrassing emotion.
“Yes,” I admit.
His gaze softens. “Thank you for being honest.” He reaches out and taps my nose. “But the fact is, you have no reason to be. You consume my thoughts, and my body craves only you.”
My mouth goes dry, and my panties immediately grow damp at his light touch and seductive words. “Oh.”
“My days of pulling away are over. Next time I kiss you or put my hands on you, I won’t be stopping.”
“But … you weren’t in bed when I woke up, so I assumed you had second thoughts, considering I snuck into your bed last night.”
“My boss called and I didn’t want to wake you, so I answered out here.
Then I made us coffee.” He gestures toward the kitchen.
“Summer, listen.” He grasps both my hands in his.
“I’m a grown man. I own my choices. You might have crawled into my bed, but I wanted you, too.
And I can admit, I can’t resist you now. ”
* * *
Ben
I had time to think while Summer slept, and I knew I had to come to terms with my need and desire for her.
I might not want to repeat past mistakes, might not want to be like my old man, might not want to deal with the inevitable heartbreak when she leaves on a world tour and becomes a superstar …
but I can’t resist her. And that little fact, although it doesn’t change my fears, supersedes them.
As long as we come to an understanding about what this thing between us is … and isn’t.
At my admission, her eyes open wide and her mouth parts in a sexy little O.
I can’t help but chuckle at her astonished expression, not that I blame her.
She has every right to think I have been withdrawing from her.
And though a part of me wants to do just that and protect my heart, I can’t keep doing the push-pull dance that hurts her. Hell, it hurts us both.
As much as I owe her an explanation for my earlier behavior, it entails a gut-wrenching, reaching-into-my-soul accounting of why I kept my distance to begin with.
And I don’t like to revisit my childhood and my parents’ marriage, mostly because watching things play out between them hurt and ultimately skewed my views on life and love.
I reach up and pull her down from her perch on the sofa, toppling her onto the cushions alongside me. Her fragrant scent wafts over me as she rights herself and adjusts into a sitting position and smooths a hand over her damp braided hair.
“You’re in a very good mood this morning.”
I laugh. “Because I had fantastic sex last night and I’m anticipating even better this morning. I just want to get something straight between us.”
“What would that be?” she asks.
“This is sex. Great sex. Hot sex. But just sex all the same. You’re going to be embarking on a huge career, and I’m not looking for anything serious. Are we in agreement?” I ask.
She treats me to a jerky nod, and I hate the vulnerable look that flashes over her face. “Great sex. I can handle that.”
Before I can reply, my cell phone rings.
I shoot her a regret-filled look and pull the phone from my back pocket, answering the call. “Hollander.”
My boss is on the other end. “What’s up?” I ask.
“Heard you canceled the party at my place,” Dan says, not sounding happy.
He always hosts a get-together for his employees’ birthdays and holidays, his home the gathering place for anyone who doesn’t have a family or those who want to celebrate with friends instead.
Dan has his reasons for declaring holidays celebration worthy, and I understand them even if I’m not the celebrating type.
“It’s just a birthday. They come around every year. We can postpone it or skip it altogether,” I say in what I know will be a futile attempt at bailing on my own party.
Dan’s next words ensure that I will be there, no matter what.
“Yes, sir,” I say with the utmost amount of respect. “We’ll be there.” With a groan, I disconnect the call.
“What’s wrong?” Summer asks, curling her legs beneath her.
“Question for you,” I say, not answering hers. This weekend, we have a trip to Atlantic City for a hotel performance, but nothing until then. “I didn’t see anything on your schedule for tomorrow. Are you still free?”
She nods. “Why?”
I prop an elbow on the top of the sofa, my arm close to hers. “What you heard on the phone earlier was me telling Ava to cancel a birthday party the people I work with were planning.”
“For you?” she asks, surprised.
“For me. Tomorrow is my birthday,” I say with reluctance.
“Ben! Why didn’t you say something?” she asks, a little bit of hurt in her voice. “I’d have bought or made a cake! Birthdays are important.”
Which is why I didn’t tell her. “Birthdays were never a big deal to me. Well, maybe they were when I was younger, but when my parents’ marriage went south, all the family celebrations ended.” I eye her carefully, wondering if she’ll judge me for how screwed up my family is.
She comes from what I consider a functional family unit, two parents, happily married, with a daughter they dote on.
Well, until she disappointed them by cutting them out of her career decisions.
Come to think of it, maybe they aren’t all that functional, after all.
Maybe nobody comes from the perfection I wish I could have had.
Still, my dad set an example of how a man should be careful with the choices he makes.
Putting Summer in a no-serious-relationship zone makes perfect sense.
Summer places a comforting hand on my arm, her soft fingers searing my skin, forcing those thoughts out of my mind. “What happened?” she asks.
I swallow hard. “It’s not important.”
Her pretty pout does nothing to dissuade me from not discussing my past.
“Fine. You’re off the hook. For now.”
I nod, my relief huge. “Back to tomorrow, the people I work with are big on parties for all occasions. So that was my boss, Dan Wilson, who got the message from Ava that I wanted to cancel, and he isn’t letting that happen.”