Chapter 15
Jett
Today I have two interviews instead of studio time, but the most important part of my morning is my visit to the Morningstar’s home because it’s time to convince Jewels what an incredible future son-in-law I’d make.
Or at the very least, get her to stop threatening to smash my car.
It took me about ten seconds to charm her the first time we met; I’m sure I can do it again.
Bry helps me spell out ‘my heart is yours’ on the driveway with rose petals, which yeah, if my mates saw this they’d harp on me for days, but I don’t give two shits about that.
Before I see Jewels, I hear her exasperated sigh. “Jett, please tell me you’re coming to clean those up tonight and leave my poor drain system alone!”
“You mean leave Baby alone?” My stomach backflips, pins and needles crawling up my arms as I try my damnedest not to get visibly angry with her. I have no choice but to test her. “You said I was family, and suddenly I’m trash?”
She passes the test, her face crumples, and she moves closer, her blood red nails scratching my shoulder gently.
Her eyes tear up, and she looks at me like before, like her son rather than an enemy.
“Oh, Jett. You. Are. Not. Trash. I mean, we’re not the classiest family of all time, who are we to judge?
But you’re not trash. You’re a beautiful person with talent coming out of your ears. ”
“Does that mean I’m still part of this family?”
“Of course, Jett, always. We’re just uncomfortable with the direction this could go, I mean, we know what being on tour is like!”
“And what if I said I’d like to have her on tour whenever she isn’t filming?
You think it’s bad that Baby might want to follow in your footsteps?
You want an easier life for her? What if I said I could promise her an easy life, not a normal one, surely, but she doesn’t know what normal is, and neither do I!
I could promise to never fuck around on her, it would be the easiest thing in the world.
What if I said I … wanna give you grandbabies in the next ten years? ”
Jewels fuckin' gasps. I can’t believe I just said that out loud and meant it! I place my hands palm up, and she hovers her hands over. I take her ringed fingers in mine. She huffs a piece of her streaked hair out of her face, but doesn’t pull away.
“You’re already one of us, all right?” she says, blinking her big fanned lashes to keep her emotions at bay. “I’m not against Baby being with a musician, but you know how you are. I don’t have to tell you! You don’t do commitment well, do you, Jett?”
I roll my eyes. “How do you know I want commitment? Maybe I’m just trying to get in her pants once. Isn’t that what you said to Baby?”
“I don’t remember what I said, exactly. There was a lot of tequila consumed that day, by all of us! But I know you don’t want just a fling. I watched the front door footage; I’ve heard the eight years this October, the whole thing. I think … we’re all upset we didn’t see this coming.”
I nod. “So, you’ve heard me promise three times now, saying I won’t fuck around on her in three different ways. Do you believe me yet, Jewels?”
“I’m … I’m not opposed to you seeing where this goes, something casual … but I’m not getting a normal, let’s hang out and see where this goes vibe, Jett.”
“No, you’re definitely not. Please answer my question, Jewels.”
She pouts. “I don’t like it when you call me that.”
Putty in my hands. “Answer my question, and I’ll stop.”
“I want to believe you, Jett! You sure this isn’t eight years of lust? Of wanting what you couldn't have? How do you know it’s more than that?”
“Lust is a given! Once, I was doing a radio interview on a Monday morning, and all anyone was talking about was last night’s episode of ‘Palace’ and how they hadn’t recovered from seeing Baby naked.
Like, they were literally drooling around the water cooler at just the memory.
She has incredible genes and I’d be daft to think I’m the only one lusting after her.
But for me, it’s so much more than that.
None of those people know her as I do; no one else has looked into her eyes and serenaded her on the beach in the Florida Keys.
I know her better than anyone by now. You really think it’s fair to tell me you’d rather have her be with a stranger than give me a chance to redeem myself? ”
“I’m sorry,” she sighs, realising her hypocrisy. There was a time when Max was on a lot more than just prescriptions and scotch, and his behaviour was far from perfect. “That isn’t fair. I mean … how many chances has Max been given?”
“A lot,” I sigh. “Because we’re flawed, but we love hard don’t we, Jewels?”
“The hardest.” She nods. “Please call me mum?”
“If you want me to call you that, you gotta approve of Baby ’n me, deal? How many grandbabies you want, mum?”
“Jett!” She caws at me but can’t hide the elation curving across her face.
“Four? Five? Six?”
She hugs me tight and speaks softly into my shoulder, “Yes.” She pulls back and narrows her eyes. “But if you hurt her—”
“I won’t, mum, I promise.”
“If a fan wants more than a hug—”
“They won’t be getting more! And I know that will upset some of them, but if they’re true fans, they’ll get over it.”
She nods, knowing how all this goes. “I love you, son. Please, please don’t make me regret this! But I have to let you try. She won’t eat, which is obviously scary; she just sleeps; she won’t leave her room; it’s worse than the week she found out about Ace!”
I’m ready to yank the metaphorical dagger she and Max pushed into my heart and turn it around on her. The reason Baby is so depressed right now is because of them! But I hold my tongue and say what I’ve been saying all week, “I’ll fix it. Promise.”
* * *
That night, Baby is sitting at the window with her hazel eyes bright green and brimming with tears. “You been watching a sad film, Baby?” I tease, brushing my lips to hers through the open sill.
“Dad and I watched a new series tonight, I believe it’s called ‘front door footage?’ Have you heard of it?”
I shake my head and search her eyes for her thoughts. “Oh, fuck. I’ve lived it. Shit. How did that go?” Jesus, she heard me promise Jewels grandbabies before we’ve even fucked. Part of me wants to crawl in a hole and die, but that ain’t my style.
“Was everyone really talking about me naked? At the radio station?”
I bust out a loud honk of a laugh. “That’s your big takeaway? Yes, darling, I don’t lie, ya know!”
“You don’t?”
“Never!” I wrap a long, black curl of hers around my finger and twirl absent-mindedly. I mean, I might forget to tell the truth sometimes. Shit.
“So when you said … telling me how long you’ve wanted me would be awkward, you meant … you’ve wanted me since we met at the Seventeen party?” How many times has she heard this confession, and yet she still looks stunned. The innocent look on her face takes my breath away.
“Ya couldn't tell? I thought you knew and told me you didn't date so I would fuck off.” She shakes her head no but I know better. A year after she claimed she didn't date, she had the prettiest boy on her arm everywhere she went. Maddy and Tate, TMZ’s dream couple. Never brought him to my shows, though. How convenient. “I saw the blokes you dated, Mads. I knew I couldn't have you but I wanted ya. Bad. And the want turned into a need that I couldn't shake. People think I’m a slut, but in my mind, I was just trying to get over you! I had to use other people because I couldn’t have you! I know that makes me an arsehole, I-I’m sorry, Baby. The well of need that I have for you is never-ending, there is no bottom. I’ve tried to stop needing you and wanting you more times than I can count but there’s just no use!
No one could ever stack up, never compare to you. You see that?”
She gives a small nod as a tear escapes her eye and I kiss it away. “Dad said he’s not sure how we all missed this … but he seemed more open to the idea after our show was over.”
Relief washes over me. “And what did you think?”
She grabs the collar of my Rancid T-shirt, “it’s my new favorite show,” and her sweet lips take mine over like we’ve been doing this since the day we met.
* * *
Tonight, I can’t sleep at all and Grey Goose is my only friend.
I feel so insane worrying about convincing Max tomorrow, even though I’m sure it’s going to be fine.
But part of me feels like he might want to bury me alive.
I stick my head out the window and howl at the moon.
I ram my fists into the heavy bag in my home gym until my wrists ache.
I know exactly why I feel like crawling out of my own skin, and it’s not just about Max.
I haven’t had my medication in a week, and it’s painfully obvious.
Literally, pain in my dick, and surely my balls are the shade of indigo.
My eyes go straight to the shoes by the door.
I’d already be in them, down the road, in the bar, making eyes at someone fit, buying them drinks, preparing to take my meds.
I pace barefoot instead. I yank on my hair and scream and text my mum that I love her and that I’m being a really good boy, because ain’t that the damn truth.
I pull hard from the vodka bottle and find myself in the hallway staring at one of my favourite framed photos.
The one all my partners, whether I was with them a week or a year, would always look at sideways.
The day I met Dad at the Rolling Stone offices.
I’d spent my whole life thinking about the day I’d get to meet Max, and here I am with his god damn daughter in my lap, looking at her like the universe made her just for me.
The rock god is surrounded by his beautiful wife and two eldest children, and there I am staking a claim on his youngest for myself without anyone batting an eye.
I know why my exes glared at this one, just seeing the way Baby looks at me in it, like she can’t figure me the fuck out.
No one in that whole family could, until now, and for the life of me, I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.