Chapter 4
Chapter Four
GRüSH
Fuck.
Coming here was a mistake I didn’t have to make. I could’ve spent the evening in my little rental cabin, then apologized to my brother tomorrow and told him I missed tonight’s party because I was jet-lagged and fell asleep.
Ogram would’ve believed me. Would’ve responded with understanding, not uttered a single disappointed word. Because it wouldn’t occur to him that attending this party—being here, in this location—is an issue.
He doesn’t know my history with Cate.
Nobody knows, unless she’s shared that information in the years since I left, which I doubt.
We found each other before monsters came out of hiding and integrated into human society. Most humans weren’t aware of our existence, and those who were, in my experience, had no interest in mixing romantically. Hell, it’s not something I’d ever given a single thought before meeting Cate.
Our time together was spent in secret. As many stolen and created moments as possible. She wanted a life with me before it was societally acceptable. She loved me for who I was, simple as that. And it did seem simple for a while.
Then integration happened. I had the opportunity to play music publicly, on stage in front of anyone who wanted to hear me, something I never thought would happen.
Cate agreed to go with me so I could pursue a career, but I knew her heart wasn’t fully in it.
She loved me, but she’d worked hard building her business.
I knew she didn’t want to walk away from it, and I had no idea where the road might take me or for how long.
It didn’t surprise me when she changed her mind at the last minute.
Maybe I should have pushed for her to join me.
To try it out for a while. But that would’ve been selfish.
She wouldn’t have suggested I give up my dream, and I owed her the same respect.
I told her I loved her. She said that she loved me.
I believed we’d figure it out. Be together always, even when separated by thousands of miles.
“Grüsh!” Ogram booms when he reaches me, pulling me in for a hug that nearly cuts off my ability to breathe. Despite being younger, he’s always been the bigger, stronger one, and his farming versus my concert life over our years apart has amplified the difference.
After releasing me, he immediately pulls his fiancée into his arms. His very pregnant fiancée. That’s some news he didn’t share. Even with the large, protruding baby belly, she’s still small by comparison.
“I’m Hope,” she says, offering a hand for me to shake. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. Ogram has told me a lot of stories.”
I huff a laugh. “I bet there are still plenty you haven’t heard, if you’re interested in the less wholesome slices of life from our younger years.” The next sound to leave me is a grunt as Ogram’s massive fist connects playfully with my abdomen. Fucking beast, my baby brother.
“Hope knows every detail I remember, and if I have forgotten any, I welcome your additions,” Ogram says, his attention focused entirely on the woman tucked against his side. “True mates share everything.”
That four-word statement lands heavier than any punch. Fortunately, the soon-to-be newlyweds are too engrossed in each other to notice the grimace I feel settling on my face.
Apparently, the bottom falling out of my stomach isn’t a shitty enough sensation, because rather than change the subject and start a new conversation with my brother, I scan the room for Cate.
“Looking for someone in particular?” Hope’s question pulls my focus back to the happy couple.
“Just wondering if I recognize anyone. Though I don’t expect to since I left town pretty much immediately after integration started.”
“I’ve only been in Harmony Glen since last fall, but I know that some of the longtime residents were aware of the local nonhuman population before the revelation. Did you have any connections like that before moving away?”
Definitely not answering that one. “I’m sure Ogram has explained that trolls are very solitary by nature.”
“He has,” she says, nodding. “But he also said you’d always wanted to perform for an audience and weren’t as reclusive as him.”
“On the subject of my brother’s hermitlike tendencies, there are more people here tonight than I expected.” More deflection. One of my specialties. “Am I the only attendee from the groom’s side, or have you dragged my brother out of his antisocial shell and these are all mutual friends?”
“I would never pressure him to be or do something that doesn’t feel true to him,” Hope says, staring up at Ogram with absolute adoration.
A mirror of that emotion lives on my brother’s face. He adjusts position, lowering his head enough to kiss her without relinquishing even a fraction of their body contact. Impressive, given their height difference.
When the kiss lingers, becoming something not meant for an audience, I take it as an opportunity to get the hell out of here. One careful backward step, then another, subtly retreating toward the stairs I shouldn’t have climbed in the first place. At least I didn’t run into—
“Apologies,” I say as my back connects with a much smaller body and a feminine oof hits my ears.
Without looking, I know who it is. From the brief sample of her voice. From her scent.
If I don’t turn around immediately, she’ll have a chance to go wherever she was heading without coming face-to-face with me.
You’re not considerate, you’re a coward, the voice in my head taunts. It doesn’t laugh, but it might as well.
“Grüsh.” This voice isn’t in my head, and I’d be an asshole to ignore it.
If the shoe fits, my annoying inner voice challenges, this time with a definite chuckle.
“Cate,” I say as I turn. The moment I lay eyes on her, every memory and feeling I’ve worked to repress rushes to the surface. I stuff my hands in my pockets because if I don’t, I’ll reach for her, and I’m not sure I could let her go a second time.
Silence stretches between us. A few seconds that feel like fucking eternity.
Cate draws a deep breath, then her features shift into smile mode.
Not the type she used to have while we were together.
Those smiles lit up her entire face. This one is dimmer than the bar’s mood lighting.
“I didn’t know you’d be here. It’s nice of you to take time out of your schedule for Ogram’s wedding. ”
My gut knots at the thought of telling Cate the truth—that I’m only here because Ogram made it nearly impossible to say no.
“I’m glad the timing worked out.” I make a head gesture to the area behind me, where I left my brother and his fiancée.
“They were happy to see me for all of about one minute, until they started kissing. Pretty sure they stopped caring I was in the room at that point.”
Cate’s soft laugh zings through me like a shot of adrenaline.
Then her smile lifts into one more genuine, one that reaches her pretty hazel eyes.
“It’s not just you. They’re always like that, no matter who’s around.
Fated mates deeply in love. The rest of the world falls away when they’re together. ”
“I remember that feeling.” The words are out of my mouth before I’ve finished forming the thought. “I should probably apologize, but it’d be a lie because I’m not sorry that I said it.”
“You’re only sorry that you felt it.”
The words land like a gut punch from the universe, pushing the air out of me. “That’s not true.”
She flaps a hand dismissively. “What you felt or didn’t feel doesn’t matter anymore. For Ogram’s sake, I’m glad you’re here. You’re still important to your brother. So, how about you stick around for him tonight, rather than slink out of this room behind his back.”
“I didn’t slink out of here behind your back that night, Catherine.
I came to your apartment and found you in here instead.
You knew I was leaving because you were supposed to go with me.
You changed your mind, and I respected your decision.
I may be the one who left, but it was you who turned their back. On me. On us.”
No retort leaves her tightly clamped lips. All she gives is silence, wrapping her arms around her midsection as the fiery passion in her eyes dims like flames doused with water.
“Hey! You two seem to have beaten us to an introduction,” Hope says as she and Ogram step to our sides. One look at Cate’s face and Hope’s smile dissolves. Then her gaze falls to Cate’s stomach-clutching posture. “Cate, are you okay?”
Cate turns her head toward Hope, her mouth lifting as she lowers her arms. “Perfectly fine. Just had a stitch in my side for a moment. It’s gone now.”
I don’t need a face-on view to know the smile isn’t genuine. Based on Hope’s furrowed dark brows, she’s not convinced either.
“Sorry, I’m getting a text,” Cate says, reaching into her pants pocket for her phone. A glance at the screen and a couple of taps later, she tucks it away, then takes Hope’s hand and holds it. “I’m needed downstairs for a bit, but I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”
Hope nods, leaning in for a hug. “Of course, and don’t stress if you can’t. I knew duty would call at some point. I’m just glad you were able to spend time with us tonight.”
“Me too, my dear,” Cate says, stroking Hope’s hair during their embrace. “I’ll make sure I see you before you call it a night, okay?”
Retreating from the hug, Hope nods again. “For sure.”
“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Cate,” Ogram says.
“Thank you for being a wonderful mate to my girl.”
“Loving and caring for Hope, and for our child,” he places one large hand on his bride-to-be’s protruding bump, “is all I want to do for the rest of my life.”
“Good man.” Cate smiles warmly at him, then at Hope. When her gaze swings to me, her expression immediately cools. Her lips part as if she might say something.
Whatever it might’ve been doesn’t materialize. All I get is a curt nod before she walks away and disappears down the stairs.
Two sets of wide, staring eyes bore into me.
“Congratulations on your other news,” I say, gesturing at Hope’s baby belly from a safe distance. “I would’ve said that sooner, but then you started making out, which I took as my cue to find someplace else to be.”
Hope giggles and snuggles closer to Ogram, who, in turn, wraps his arms around her tighter.
It’s like watching magnetic puzzle pieces.
“Thank you.” Ogram inclines his head in a deep nod. “You’re probably wondering why we’ve waited this long to have the wedding.”
“Didn’t cross my mind. Whatever your reasons, that’s your business, not mine.
” A viewpoint I hope the two of them adopt on the subject of Cate, since I’m sure it’s obvious there was tension between us.
“I’m just glad you’re happy and have everything you always dreamed of.
You deserve it more than anyone I know, brother. ”
“He is wonderful, isn’t he?” Hope says, smiling up at him as if he painted the sky by hand, just for her.
And if anyone could, he’d be the one.
“He is and always has been,” I say with a nod before shifting my attention to my brother’s face. “The only man equally good was our father.” Emotions I haven’t entertained in a very long time climb into my throat, forming a ball.
“That is the greatest compliment, Grüsh.” Ogram pulls me into an inescapable hug before I can respond. “I am so grateful you are here.”
Well, fuck. I really have been an asshole, staying away and out of touch. “Thanks for getting me here so I didn’t miss more than I already have.” Giving in to the moment, I hug him back. A couple of solid thumps on each other’s bodies later, we disengage. “When’s the baby due?”
“Don’t I wish I knew!” Laughing, Hope rubs circles over her belly.
“There’s not much documented medical data about interspecies reproduction between a male troll and a human woman, so it’s kind of a ‘wait and see’ situation.
I can tell you I’m just about done with the ‘wait’ part, though.
I’m not sure how much more my body can stretch to accommodate this big bundle of joy.
” She laughs again, a brief, blissful sound, despite her complaint.
Being a parent has never entered my mind. Even when Cate and I were together, I didn’t experience the breeding fervor that overcomes male trolls during the rut. That’s why I didn’t think it was possible for us to be true mates. And I didn’t care. I loved her. I only wanted her.
Because we weren’t mated, I expected the feelings to fade after I left town. To disappear as time and distance ticked by. Only they never did. Not on my end, anyway. No matter how much I’ve consciously tried.
“I hope this isn’t too personal a question since we just met…
” By the time Hope trails off, the bubbliness in her voice has all but vanished, replaced by steady seriousness that’s mirrored in her eyes.
“Do you know Cate? Because it sure looked like the two of you were having an intense conversation before Ogram and I joined in.”
“Does it matter?” Even keeping the edge out of my tone, there’s no mistaking the defensive nature of my words.
“It does, actually.” Hope shifts out of Ogram’s embrace, her gaze not leaving mine. “Cate is my closest friend and my found family. She’s giving me away at the wedding tomorrow, and for all intents and purposes, she’ll be the baby’s grandma.”
“Grandma? She’s only forty-two.”
Ogram’s thick eyebrows shoot up his forehead.
Hope’s gaze narrows before she turns her head to look up at him. “You’ve been casually and professionally acquainted with Cate for years now. Did you know how old she is?”
“I did not.”
“Neither did I,” Hope says as her attention returns to my face.
“I know for a fact that she cares about me and trusts me, yet I only know her birthday because I was with her in the office downstairs when Bloom & Vine delivered a bouquet from her sister who lives in Maine. Cate is very protective of personal details.”
Time slows to a crawl as our stare-down continues in silence.
Ogram breaks it with a lengthy sigh. “We won’t pry further, Grüsh, but I need your assurance that there will be no negative energy or tension during our wedding celebrations tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I say, casting a glance toward the stairs.
“But I can’t make any promises where Cate’s concerned.
” Neither can she, if history is any indicator.
Unlike my comment about her age, these words don’t get past my guard.
Nothing else will for the duration of my visit—especially Cate.
The annoying voice in my head doesn’t offer up its unwelcome commentary this time. It just laughs and fucking laughs.