Chapter 2
I promised Mum I’d call her as soon as we arrived, so I leave the men, who are sounding increasingly raucous – no doubt checking each other out like chimps in a nature documentary, all thumping chests and crotch displays – and walk to the bow, the front of the boat, where it’s much quieter.
I stand for a little while, holding on to the railing and staring out over the water, watching the waves ripple away towards the horizon, and then I call Mum.
‘So you made it then?’ she says, her voice immediately pulling me home.
I can only just hear her over the sound of the TV and I can picture them all: Mae on the sofa with her blanket wrapped around her fist, thumb in her mouth – she sucks it so much and so enthusiastically that she’s worn a permanent blister on her knuckle; Alfie’s probably there too but stretched out on the floor, headphones on, playing Pokémon on his Switch.
Riley is most likely in her room, learning TikTok dances or watching something inappropriate on Disney+.
‘Yeah, it’s great,’ I say.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Oh, you know. My back’s killing.
My feet are buggered.
I thought my waters had broken this afternoon but turns out I’d just peed myself.
All fun and games.’
‘That’s rough. ’
‘Eh, what are you gonna do? So what’s it like?
This yacht?’
‘It’s amazing.
It’s huge but my room is tiny and I’m sharing with a girl called Kelsey.
From Cheshire.’
Mum snorts.
‘Posh?’
‘Not not posh.’
‘Mind out for her. Posh girls are the worst.’
‘She seems nice. Haven’t seen much of her so far. ’
‘What does Adam think?’
‘Of Kelsey?’
‘I meant of the yacht. But, yeah, her too.’
‘I don’t think he’s seen much of her yet, but he seems happy enough with the yacht.
We’re all going out tonight to get to know each other a bit better. ’
‘Don’t be getting too drunk,’ Mum says.
I can tell that she’s moved into the kitchen.
The tap is running as she fills the kettle.
As she gets a mug out of the cupboard, the door bangs against the wall like it always does, always has.
There’s a perfectly round dent in the wall now from the handle that no one’s ever thought to remove.
‘The kids are missing you,’ Mum says.
She’ll be unscrewing the jam jar we use for sugar and spooning too much into her tea.
‘I miss them too.’
Mae always asking me to tickle her back to help her fall asleep.
Alfie acting like he doesn’t want anything to do with any of us, but then cuddling into my side whenever we put a film on, wrapping his hand in my hair like he did when he was a baby.
Riley, seven going on seventeen, always messaging to ask me to bring her McDonald’s or to show me a video of the raccoon she follows on Instagram.
‘When’s your next appointment? ’
I ask Mum.
She’s not due for another five months, but the health visitor was a bit concerned the baby might be huge so they’re monitoring her more closely than they usually would.
‘Next week, I think. I’ll have to check.
Did I tell you they’ve got me on these iron tablets?
They’re huge. Like choking down a shoe. ’
I laugh.
‘I’d better go,’ she says, and I can tell she’s back in the living room with the kids.
‘Have a good time tonight. Be careful.’
‘I will.’
‘Oh, hey, I know what I wanted to tell you. I saw Maddie at the hospital. The doctor was like, “I have a medical student with me today. Is it okay if they sit in on your examination?’ and then it was Mads! She looked knackered. And then I had to get up on the thing with the stirrups for an examination and I thought she’d be on the other side of the curtain, but, no, there she was, looking right up my chuff.’
‘Well that’s great,’ I say, sarcastically. ‘I’ll text her and ask what she thought.’
Mum laughs. ‘Don’t do that. I mean, text her. But maybe don’t mention how she saw my vag.’
I close my eyes and sigh. ‘I am definitely not going to mention that, but I imagine she will.’
‘She can’t, can she? Confidentiality and all that. Anyway, it was mortifying. Reminded me of when I had you and they asked if I minded students watching and when I looked up there was a whole line of them peering at me. Like they’d brought a coach tour in.’
I’ve heard this story many times.
‘Right. Deffo gotta go now. Give Adam my love. Look after him. And tell him to look after you.’
‘Don’t worry,’ I tell her. ‘We’ll look after each other.’
I glance around in case anyone’s nearby, but I’m still alone.
‘I know you will,’ she says. ‘You always do.’
‘Give me a ring after your appointment,’ I say. ‘Or whenever. You can leave a message if I’m busy.’
‘Yeah, I know how phones work, soft girl.’
I smile, shaking my head.
‘Anyone want to talk to Hope?’ Mum says and is greeted by a chorus of no s.
Charming.
‘Tell them I love them anyway.’
‘Will do. Love you.’
‘Love you too.’
I feel a bit self-conscious about joining everyone back on deck – I can hear their laughter from here – so instead I head back to my cabin to unpack. Despite – or because – it’s so small, the storage has been well designed. Between the bunks and the bathroom is a small, shared closet with drawers at the base. I hang up some clothes alongside the uniforms that are already hanging there, and tuck T-shirts, shorts and underwear away in the drawers. I take the photo album Mum made for me out of my case. It folds out into a triangular frame so I can choose different pictures to display.
I pick the one of all of us in Gran Canaria a couple of years ago. We’re on the beach, the sun setting behind us, the pink and apricot sky reflected in the ocean. My stepdad, Mick, took it on timer and he’s pretty much a blur as he tried to fling himself into frame in time. The little ones – pink-cheeked and sand-blasted – are laughing. Mum, holding toddler Mae, is grinning at Mick; Adam’s smiling at me. I’m the only one looking at the camera. I love it so much.
I put it on the shelf that runs along the wall next to my bed, along with a Jellycat Snowball I caught Riley sneaking into my bag. At first she denied it and then said she doesn’t like it and wanted to get rid of it, which made me laugh since I bought it for her last Christmas. I brought some battery fairy lights to string up in my bunk too, but I’ve no way to attach them right now, so I leave them in my case and slide it under my bed, alongside Kelsey’s.
When I open the door to head back on deck, Adam’s at the end of the corridor.
He grins at me. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’
I’m ridiculously happy to see him and we haven’t even been here for a day yet. He looks like he’s already caught the sun – his cheekbones and browbone are pink.
I smile back at him. ‘We have to stop meeting like this.’
‘You okay? How’s your cabin?’
I push the door open to show him. ‘Titchy.’
He steps closer to look past me into the room. ‘Right? I knew they were going to be small, but I didn’t think they’d be this small.’
He’s close enough that I can smell him. Beer. Deodorant. The heat of his skin.
‘How’s yours?’ I ask, nodding towards his door.
‘The same, pretty much.’
I close my door behind me and follow him up the corridor to his cabin. He pushes the door open and then reaches back to pull me inside with him.
‘What if Nico comes down?’
He grins again. ‘We’re not doing anything. I’m just showing you my room. Totally innocent.’
‘Right.’
He’s already crowding up towards me, my back against the door, but I crane past him to look around the room.
‘How is it this untidy already?’
It looks like the two of them upended their cases on their beds. There’s trainers and flip-flops tangled together in a pile and the bathroom floor is carpeted with towels.
‘Let’s get you out of these wet things,’ Adam says, tugging on the hem of my T-shirt.
‘They’re not wet,’ I argue, but I’m already softening against the door, my hands on his hips to pull him closer.
He dips his head and licks the shoulder of my shirt and I honk out a laugh, which he stops with a kiss, leaning into me. He tastes of beer and crisps and I don’t even care. It’s Adam. I love him. And I’m so glad he’s here. I’m so glad we’re doing this together.
His hands are under my T-shirt, thumbs brushing over my nipples, and I arch against him, my head banging back against the door.
‘Do you think we can –’ I start to say, but then Adam drops his hands and straightens up, his eyes looking panicked.
‘I can hear Nico.’
I shake my head. ‘I didn’t hear anything.’
But then I almost fall backwards as the door opens.
‘Hello, hello. What’s this then?’ Nico says, stepping into the room with us, even though there’s no space. ‘Did you two sneak away for a bit of afternoon delight?’
‘Nah, mate. Just showing Hope where the magic doesn’t happen.’
‘It’s a pigsty,’ I say.
Nico snorts with laughter and then snorts again like a pig. ‘I know, right?’
He goes into the bathroom and starts peeing without closing the door.
I widen my eyes at Adam who pulls an apologetic face.
‘We’re going in about an hour,’ Nico says. ‘Bagsy first shower.’
Only then does he close the bathroom door.
Adam kisses me quickly, before opening the cabin door and ushering me back out into the corridor, leaving me high and dry.
Or low and wet. I head back to my room for a cold shower.