Chapter 23
23
Kelsey arrives in the morning, looking the same as she did when she left, but with her hair unbraided and piled in a loose bun on top of her head.
‘Welcome back!’ I say, as she hefts her suitcase onto one of the daybeds.
Kelsey pulls a face, laughing.
‘Thanks. Can’t quite believe it.
I feel bad for the captain because she was totally right to sack me. ’
I laugh then too.
She shakes her head.
‘I kind of have a problem with not being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it.’
‘That does tend to be a problem in a job,’ I tell her.
‘I know, right?’ She grins.
‘This keeps happening. But at least I got to come back.’
‘What have you been doing? Did you go to the Caribbean?’
She shakes her head.
‘God, no, that guy was an absolute dick. He didn’t even have a boat!
I went to Paris for a bit, got food poisoning there, so came back.
And I’ve been working at the club.
We went there, right? ’
‘With the barman who looks like Jason Momoa?’
She cackles.
‘Alvaro? Yeah. He’s great.
Not for, like, long-term, but very fun.
So what about you?’ she asks me.
‘Any gossip? Any romance?’
I don’t even know where to begin.
Kelsey goes inside to unpack, change and start work with Berry.
Ben tells me my first job every morning will be washdown, which Adam will also be doing but starting at the other end of the boat.
So eventually we’ll meet in the middle.
‘First we rinse, to get rid of any loose dust or dirt,’ he tells me.
‘Then we wash thoroughly. Rinse again, get rid of all the soap. And then we dry.’
I nod.
Sounds doable.
He tells me to start with the port-side main deck.
It all needs to be done quickly so it doesn’t dry in the sun and create water marks.
I rinse everything with the hose, then fill a bucket with soapy water and use an extendable mop to wash everything, including the deckhead, which is above me.
My arms ache as I swipe the mop from side to side, soapy water dripping down on me.
I squeegee the windows, rinse everything again and then dry with a chamois.
By the time it’s done, I’m soaked with soapy water and sweat and my arms feel like wet noodles.
‘How you doing?’ Ben asks, before laughing at the state of me.
‘First time is the worst.’
‘Not sure my arms will work next time.’
He grins.
‘You’ll get used to it.
Top tip here . . .’
He takes out his phone and shines the torch on the windows and I cringe as it highlights all the spots I missed.
‘Sorry. I thought I’d got everything. ’
‘Don’t worry. Happens to everyone.
You just need to go over the windows again.
The rest looks great. ’
I go over the windows again, stopping after every pane to shake out my arms and stretch my shoulders and back.
I thought scrubbing the stairs was hard work but it’s nothing compared to this.
And then it gets even worse – I have to do the same on the outside of the boat.
Because we’re in port, there’s another yacht next to us, so I can only do it from the deck with the hose and a long-handled mop, leaning over the railing.
It seems to take forever, but Ben’s happy with it once it’s done and sends me off for a break.
I’m walking round the stern when I hear Adam’s voice.
He’s on his phone on the sun deck.
‘I told you,’ he says, his voice low.
‘As soon as I’ll have it, I’ll send it you. ’
I can’t imagine who he’s talking to, and I can’t make myself walk away.
‘I know. But what else do you want me to do?’
I should leave.
If he comes down, he’ll find me here.
‘Yeah. Stop hassling me. I’ll send it as soon as I’ve got it. ’
A short silence is followed by a loud, emphatic ‘Fuck!’, which I assume means he’s ended the call and will be coming back down.
I don’t want him to catch me eavesdropping, so I run downstairs to the mess.
What the fuck was that about?
‘Hey!’
Berry’s sitting at the table, a plate of sliced fruit in front of her.
‘How’s it going?’ she asks me, popping a slice of kiwi into her mouth.
I wish I could tell her about Adam, instead I say, ‘I need a coffee but I’ve ruined my useless arms.’
I lift them a little and flop them down to my sides.
She laughs. ‘Washdown is brutal.’
‘I can’t believe we have to dry the outside of the boat!
That’s where the water is! ’
‘Salt water though. Very bad for boats.’
‘Feels like quite a serious design fault.’
‘Here.’ She slides out from behind the table and steps closer.
‘You sit down. I’ll make the coffee and then I need to get back.
Being this short-handed is no joke. ’
‘Is there anything I can do? I do need this coffee, but then I can come and –’
She shakes her head, smiling.
‘No, babe. You’re a deckhand now.
You’re out of my jurisdiction. ’
A butterfly in my chest flutters at the ‘babe’, and then Berry is guiding me over to the table, her hands on my upper arms, and she gently pushes me to sit down.
‘When they tell you to take a break, you take a break.’
I reach out and tangle my fingers with hers.
There’s no one around and I can’t resist.
She squeezes my fingers and then brushes her thumb over my palm, which, somehow, makes a pulse beat between my legs.
We stare at each other for a second and I want nothing more than to forget work and pull her into our cabin.
When I get back up on deck, we’re about to set sail.
Ben shows me how to release the lines and check the fenders.
He talks with Captain Liz via radio the whole time and I’m not sure I even understand half of it.
‘You’ll pick it up,’ Ben tells me, even though I didn’t say anything.
‘There’s a lot to learn, but if there’s anything you don’t understand, just ask.
No winging it.’
We anchor in the most beautiful bay and Berry radios to say the guests have had breakfast, they’re getting changed and then heading to the swim platform.
Ben shows me how to prepare the water toys – Morgan wants to go on a jet ski and Bec would like to try the Seabob.
I stay on the swim deck to watch them and make sure they don’t get into any trouble and it’s nice to have a short break.
My arm muscles thank me.
‘Have you had a go on one of these?’ Bec asks when she gets back, and I haul the Seabob out of the water.
‘It is wild!’
I don’t tell her that they terrify me – I hate the idea of being pulled down under the water – instead I say I haven’t had a chance.
‘Oh you must,’ she says.
‘I can’t believe it’s a real thing!
I felt like I was dreaming.
I’m going to be singing The Little Mermaid all day now. ’
Morgan comes back and convinces Bec to go out on the jet ski with her, so I get to hang out a bit longer and then, once they’re done, I have to rinse and dry everything.
Adam comes down to help put the jet ski away – it’s too heavy for me to manage on my own.
He looks tired and tense.
In the past I would have teased him, made him laugh, given him a shoulder massage and pretended I was going to dig my fingers into his armpits, which he really hates.
Now, though, I just give him a weak smile and thank him for coming down.
‘You okay?’ he asks me.
‘How are you finding it so far?’
‘You were right. It’s really hard. ’
He nods. ‘You’ll be fine. ’
Adam attaches the winch to the jet ski and, once it’s out of the water, the two of us guide it into place.
We don’t talk, concentrating on manoeuvring a 500-pound piece of equipment but once it’s done, I tell him that I overheard him on the phone.
‘Adam, what’s going on? ’
He shakes his head and runs one hand back through his hair.
‘You’re spying on me now? ’
‘Adam, come on. Something’s obviously going on.
Why won’t you tell me?
Maybe I can help?’
‘You always want to fix everything.’
‘I don’t,’ I say.
‘But maybe –’
He shakes his head.
‘You can’t fix this, Hope.
I’m sorting it. Just leave it.
Okay?’
‘Okay.’
I don’t want to leave it.
But if he won’t let me help, won’t let me in, there’s nothing I can do.
When I get back to our cabin, Berry’s in my bunk.
I climb in next to her and rest my head on her shoulder.
Even if I can’t fix whatever’s going on with Adam, I hate not knowing.
And even though we’re broken up, I hate to think of him going through something alone.
‘What was the other Bake Off you told me about?’ Berry asks, pointing the remote at the TV.
‘Make-up.’
Berry finds the first episode of Glow Up and then takes my hand in hers.
I sigh as she starts to massage my fingers, squeezing and tugging.
She presses her thumb in the palm of my hand and I stop thinking about Adam.
‘Slide down,’ she says, her voice low.
I roll onto my stomach and lie flat, moving my pillows to the side, gasping as Berry straddles me and runs her hands over my shoulders.
She presses the muscles at the base of my neck, digs her thumbs into my shoulder blades.
I want to turn over, pull her down on top of me, run my fingers up her inner thighs, but I feel like I’m melting into the bed.
I moan as she presses her hands flat against my lower back and she shushes me.
‘No sex noises.’ She says, her mouth by my ear, her breasts brushing my back.
Did she take off her shirt?
‘Don’t want to start any rumours. ’
I try to reach back to touch her, but after my first day of deck work, my arms are basically useless.
She kisses the back of my neck, drifting her tongue along my tight muscles.
Her hands are kneading my hips now and I tilt my pelvis, trying to get some friction against the mattress.
‘Can you turn over?’
‘No.’
She laughs.
And then I do. I shift onto my back, feeling boneless, heavy, exhausted and incredibly turned on.
‘Can I touch you?’ she asks, her hand on my side, fingers pressed into the spaces between my ribs.
I tell her yes, please, and she glides her hand down over my stomach.
I turn my head, press my face into the curve of her neck as her hand slips into my underwear and she curls her fingers between my legs.
‘Oh my god,’ I whisper against her skin.
‘Oh my god.’
Her other hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, her fingers tangling in my hair, while she circles her fingers.
I tilt my pelvis to rub against the heel of her hand, my breath speeding up, tears burning the backs of my eyes.
It’s too much. I can’t take it, but I don’t want her to stop.
I roll half onto my side so that I can kiss her as she circles her thumb where I am hot and wet and throbbing.
She gasps into my mouth as I arch my back, put my hand on top of hers to keep it in place.
She whispers my name against my lips as she curls her fingers inside me and I can’t stop myself from crying out as everything goes black.