8. Juliette
CHAPTER EIGHT
juliette
The little girl’s dark braid is flying as she and Dancer whip around the first barrel, then the second. I’m keeping an eye on her form, her movements, looking for anything that needs a bit of correction, but even at seven, Mattie rides like a pro.
Her mama is looking through the viewing window and I give her a big smile and thumbs up.
This is what I live for. Helping little girls make their dreams come true, just like Gran did for me.
Of course, that drums up thoughts of my daughter and what her future might look like.
Will Charlotte want to learn to ride like her mama and great grandmama before her? Or will she make her own path?
Either way, she’ll never have to follow a script or change who she is, like I did. She’ll know that she’s loved unconditionally, and I’ll support her with everything I’ve got.
Mattie slows to a stop in front of me after a cool-down lap around the ring.
“That was awesome. You beat your last time by two seconds. Make sure you’re careful around those turns and give Dancer plenty of notice about what you’re wanting him to do. If you need a little more speed, give him a good nudge. Even a split-second can make a huge difference.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She chews on her bottom lip before big blue eyes meet mine. “Miss JJ, remember how you said if I beat my time, you’d show me that trick you used to do back when you were young?”
My smile is genuine—I had already asked my crew to have my horse ready because I knew Mattie was going to kill it today. “I sure do, and since I’m a woman of my word…”
With a motion to John, he leads Calamity out.
The American Quarter Horse and I have a long history that goes back almost a decade and dozens of championships.
At almost eighteen, she’s got plenty of years left in her and hopefully plenty more wins.
Watching her stride up to the gate, I feel that familiar warmth in my chest. Her shiny blue roan coat with the pale white patch between her eyes is shining under the arena lights, and I swear she can sense the excitement that’s bubbling up inside me.
This is my world, and the joy I feel when I’m in the saddle is second to only a handful of things in life.
“Thanks, John.” I take the rope he offers me. “Can you walk Dancer for ten-to-fifteen minutes then set him loose out in the paddock while he waits for Mattie? Make sure to keep an eye on him for any overheating or signs of injury.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He stands by, making sure Mattie can dismount on her own, then carefully leads Dancer away while the little girl climbs up on the metal rails, settling in for the show.
In a matter of seconds, I’m seated on Calamity, letting the feel of the familiar leather reins settle into that special place in my soul.
“Now, remember. This isn’t something most barrel racers do. It’s a trick my grandmama taught me, and I used it to show off when I was younger.”
“Yes, Miss JJ.”
“Okay, then.” My hand runs down Calamity’s neck, a smile spreading across my face. “C’mon, ol’ girl. Let’s show her what we’ve got.”
As I kick the horse into motion, the feel of the wind on my face gives me a sense of freedom I’ve never experienced anywhere else.
It brings me back to happier days—like the first time I rode a horse, seated in front of my grandma.
I was probably around Charlotte’s age, but I can remember so vividly how deeply I fell in love.
Then there are memories of the times Kash, Hudson, and I would be on horseback, following the trail down to the creek that runs along the back of our properties.
I’d laugh as Kash would ask silly questions like If a horse wore swim trunks, would it just cover their hind legs and rump, or would it cover all four legs?
Or would you rather ride a horse through a field swarming with bees or a forest full of bears?
Urging Calamity into a gallop, I get lost in the nostalgia of years gone by.
Ones where I was on top of the rodeo world, some of my best friends by my side, cheering me on.
Of course, those thoughts are always quickly followed by others I’d rather forget.
I think back to that night. My assistant and best friend, Marie, insisting she was okay to drive after a night of celebrating my last win.
Me trying to convince her she really wasn’t, but not wanting her to ride off alone. The dark road. The curve. The tree.
I spent a week in the hospital, but Marie never even made it that far.
She was gone before the ambulance even showed up.
After that, it was easier to numb the pain than to deal with it.
Now, I realize how wrong that was, but then it was the only way I could survive.
I lost sight of what was important and started drowning my sorrows with booze and boys.
Both ultimately led to my fall from grace and the loss of everything I had worked so hard for.
My dad never once berated me, like I expected.
Instead, he and Mama were there, gently pushing me to get back on my feet.
Of course, Gran was there too, but her methods were significantly less gentle.
I needed that swift kick in the ass, though, to jolt me out of my misery.
By the time I was ready to pick myself back up and return to doing what I loved, I’d fallen into bed with an Alpha and ended up with a positive pregnancy test.
We make our last warm-up loop, and the look on Beck’s face when he saw me last night plays through my mind.
The fact that he’s here, that my daughter will finally get to meet her father, is something I never thought would actually happen.
But on the heels of that comes a slew of emotions I’m not sure I’m ready to handle.
Especially considering Kash’s involvement in the whole thing.
I’m an Omega being courted by a pack. Kash is my enemy.
It doesn’t matter how much my heart yearns for a future with the father of my child or even a chance to get to know the sexy Beta that’s part of their pack.
We go together like a wolf in a hen house.
There’s only one outcome, and it ain’t pretty.
Calamity rounds the corner, and I take a deep breath and exhale as I force my brain back to the task at hand.
With my feet firmly in the stirrups, I push her faster.
My hand winds around the rope, twisting my wrist through the air to get a steady loop going.
I shut out everyone and everything, simply feeling the movement of the horse along the arena floor, counting the pounding of her hooves in my head.
As I work the rope into the air above me, I push myself up until I’m standing astride the moving horse, the lasso circling overhead.
Then, with a skill born of years of practice, I slowly lower the wide loop until it’s down to my chest, rotating around me, then carefully guide it back up again.
Mattie’s laughter and applause echo through the space, along with others I wasn’t expecting.
Quite a few members of the crew are watching from their vantage points, large smiles on their faces.
That’s not why I do this, but damn, does it feel good.
Drawing in the rope, I seat myself back into the saddle.
My entire being feels lighter than it has in years.
Getting back to my roots is exactly what I needed—so I can be the kind of mother my daughter needs me to be in the one place that’s always felt like home.
After a couple of laps around the ring, I slow Calamity into a canter, then a trot, and finally walk her up to the railing where Mattie is waiting.
“That was so cool, Miss JJ. Think you could teach me one day? I want to be just like you when I grow up.”
I chuckle. “We’ll see. You’ve got to finish learning the basics first. The fun stuff will all come later.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Kicking off the stirrups, I land next to Calamity and hand her reins back off to John who’s waiting next to the rail. She nuzzles into my touch, and I take the time to rub my hands down her neck.
“You did good today, girl,” I whisper, pulling out a treat from my pocket that she eagerly accepts. Turning to Mattie, I motion toward the office with my head. “C’mon. Your mama’s waiting.”
We walk over to the door where Ginny is all smiles.
“That was amazing, Ms. Wilde. I can’t thank you enough for training Mattie. Under your guidance, she’s advanced so much in such a short time.”
“It’s my pleasure. She’s got natural talent that makes my job easy.” I give her a brief summary of the lesson and a few things Mattie can practice at home. As they walk off, Ginny ruffles her daughter’s hair as they murmur excitedly.
This is where I’m meant to be. I could no sooner walk away than I could give up my love of horses. I’ll just have to explain that to the pack. They’ll understand, right?
My phone chimes, and I grab it from the small shelf that sits next to the door. There are at least a half-dozen texts from Gran that grow increasingly unhinged.
Gran
Charlotte and I just finished baking treats for Ollie. Pretty sure he loves her more than me.
Gran
If your daughter is excited about a new word she learned today, just know that I was NOT the one that taught it to her. Blame Ollie.
Gran
Sigh. Unfortunately, it seems she’s taken quite a liking to the new word and is now playing hopscotch on the back patio while sing-songing the word cunt.
Gran
Remember, it WAS NOT ME. It was the damned bird.
I choke out a laugh. Good fucking grief. That’s all I need. I can see it now—standing in the grocery checkout line while Charlotte casually drops cunt into a sentence. Poor Sally will probably clutch her pearls and swear I’m the devil.
Tucking my phone into my back pocket since all of my classes are done for the day, I catch sight of a familiar tall, blond Beta through the viewing window. He’s staring up at the portrait Gran had commissioned for me, an indecipherable look on his face.
What the hell is Wyatt doing here?
As quietly as I can, I make my way through the door and down the short hall until I can hear Gentry talking with him. Immediately, I roll my eyes. Good thing Wyatt’s already fully aware of who I am because the Beta’s unassuming charm is working effortlessly on my office assistant.
Is there anyone he can’t win over with that pretty face?