Chapter 6 #2
“What happened to the girl from high school?” Keira asked.
He grinned. “We realized we weren’t meant to be anything more than friends. I get a card from her every once in a while. She’s happily married, has four kids and lives in Georgia.”
“Does her husband dance?”
Rogue laughed. “Not at all. But they’re crazy about each other. The best things to come out of it were that I won my bet, she had a dance partner at the prom and she’s living happily ever after without me.”
He held out his hand. “Come on. If Laura Giles can teach this guy how to do a two-step, surely I can teach you what she taught me.”
Again, she shook her head. “I’ve never danced a day in my life.”
“Not even as a little girl?”
Her eyes widened and grew glassy with unshed tears.
“You did, didn’t you?”
She nodded. “It’s been so long. My mother and father liked dancing.
Dad danced me around our little living room, while I was standing on his feet.
” Her lips parted in a smile, and a single tear slid down her cheek.
“He said we were practicing for our daddy-daughter dance at my wedding.” She swallowed hard.
“Hey,” Rogue said softly. He reached down and took her hand, gently urging her to her feet. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He took her in his arms and swayed to the music.
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s just the first time that memory has surfaced since...forever.” She leaned her cheek against his chest.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, you can stand on my feet as we dance.”
She laughed, the sound choking on a sob. “I won’t do that to you.”
“Whew. Can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. Not sure my toes could handle it. But the offer remains open.”
“You’re off the hook,” she said and relaxed against him, swaying in time to his movements.
“See? It’s not that hard, is it?”
“If you dance like your mother and father.” Keira leaned her head back and met his gaze. “You don’t have to do this for me.”
“It’s not for you. It’s all about me.” He grinned. “It worked in high school. Why not here?”
“But you don’t have a bet going with your buddies.”
“No, but because I can dance, I have a pretty girl in my arms.” He winked down at her, clutched her close and spun around,
When he slowed to a sway, he stared down at her.
Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes sparkled.
“Did you like that?”
She nodded. “Actually, I did.”
“How about we try a two-step?” As much as he liked holding her close, he stepped back and showed her how to move her feet.
“You do the opposite of me. It’s quick, quick, slow, slow and repeat.
” For the next two hours, he danced around the room with Keira, teaching her the two-step and, when she thought she was ready, the waltz.
When she messed up, he helped her regain her footing. When he messed up, they laughed. As the hour grew late, they adjourned to the kitchen for water and a snack of peanut butter, jelly and crackers.
Keira swallowed the last bite of her makeshift sandwich and brushed the crumbs from her lips. “Thank you.”
“For the peanut butter and jelly crackers?” He reached out and brushed a crumb she’d missed from the corner of her lips. “It’s one of my specialties.”
She shook her head. “No. For teaching me to dance and letting me have the school dance experience.”
“Oh, you really didn’t miss much. It was in the high school gym that smelled like dirty sweat socks.
The boys smelled like dirty sweat socks and too much cologne.
Most of the girls lined one wall while the boys lined the opposite, all too afraid to ask the other to dance for fear of rejection or embarrassing moves. ”
“Then I’m glad I got to experience it now. With you.” She leaned up on her toes, brushed the crumbs from his mouth and then pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss.
The combination of dancing, holding her close and then her mouth touching his sent Rogue over the edge. His arms came up around her and crushed her body against his as he claimed her mouth.
For the first few seconds, she stiffened.
Rogue immediately loosened his hold. If she wanted to get away, he wouldn’t hold her back. It had to be her choice. He fully expected her to exercise it and step back.
Instead, she melted into him, her hands sliding up his chest to clasp behind his neck, bringing him closer. Her lips parted, and her tongue slipped out to tangle with his.
Fire surged through his body, adrenaline pushing blood through his veins so fast it made his head spin. His desire threatening logic, Rogue lifted his head. “I can’t.”
She stiffened in his arms. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.” Keira stepped backward. “You didn’t ask for it. I understand why you can’t continue.”
Rogue drew in a deep breath, reached for her arms and gripped them. “When I said I can’t, I meant I can’t control what’s building inside.”
She frowned up at him. “I’m confused.”
“If I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop, or at least, it will be twice as hard to stop.
” He pressed his forehead to hers. “What I’m doing a terrible job of saying is that I find you so very attractive, and I don’t want to scare you, or make you feel uncomfortable with attentions you might not want. ” He let go of his breath.
“You find me attractive?” she whispered. “Knowing what you know about me?”
“Especially knowing what I know about you,” he stared down into her eyes.
“You’ve been through a lot and have come out stronger than any woman I’ve ever known.
” He brushed his thumb along her cheek. “But knowing what you’ve been through, I can’t let my desire override everything.
You need time to heal. To be okay with a man wanting you, touching you. ”
She cupped his cheek in her hand. “I’m okay with you wanting me…touching me.”
“Okay isn’t enough,” He turned his face and pressed a kiss into her palm. “You have to want the man as much, if not more, than he wants you.”
“What if I do want the man as much as he wants me?” she whispered.
Rogue froze. “God, Keira. You’re killing me. I’d never forgive myself if I took advantage of you.”
“What if I take advantage of you?” she said and leaned up to press her lips against his. “What if I initiate? If I control the pace?”
He stepped back and scrubbed a hand down his face. “It’s too soon. We’ve known each other for less than a week.”
Her face tightened, pink flooding her cheeks. She nodded. “It’s okay. I won’t force myself on you. I just thought...”
By the look on her face, she wasn’t getting it all wrong, and Rogue was making it worse every time he opened his mouth. He closed his eyes to the pain in her expression. “You don’t understand.”
“I think I do. Good night, Rogue.” She turned to leave.
Rogue snagged her hand and tugged gently, pulling her into his arms. “Keira, I want you more than you can imagine.” He held her close, stroking her long, dark hair while inhaling the essence of her and wanting her in every way. “I don’t want you to regret anything that might happen between us.”
“I won’t regret what isn’t going to happen,” she said, her body held stiff, her tone tight.
He tipped her chin up and stared into her eyes. “You’ve been held more or less captive for years, with men abusing you, if not physically then mentally. I don’t ever want you to think I would abuse you in either way, nor take advantage of you when men have subjugated you for so long.”
She rested her hands on his chest. “And I don’t want you to think that just because I’ve been with Onyx and have been in some.
..difficult...situations, that I have to be treated with kid gloves.
I’m a woman, now. Not a girl. Not a teen.
I’ve learned and am still learning how to make my own decisions and have my own opinions and desires.
Give me credit for knowing what I want and going after it.
However, that being said, I won’t bother you if you’re not interested in me. ” She spun away, her chin held high.
Rogue groaned. “Keira, I want you,” he said softly. “I just want to take it slow to make sure you aren’t hurt more than you’ve already been.” He turned her, pulled her into his embrace again and rested his chin on top of her hair.
“On more than one occasion, I didn’t think I’d survive.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Sometimes, I didn’t want to survive.”
His arms tightened around her. He could only imagine the horrors she’d endured.
No woman or child should have had to go through what she had.
Losing her parents had been hard. Enduring a bad foster home and then losing her sister to drug dealers and human traffickers would break most people.
“How did you make it through?” he asked.
“Funny thing about your body,” she said. “Though it was hard to breathe, I couldn’t stop. Then it was surviving one day at a time.” She snorted softly. “Onyx taught me one good thing.”
“What was that?”
“I didn’t have to be the victim anymore.
” She looked up into his eyes. “They taught me how to fight and defend myself. I don’t have to take the abuse or submit to anyone.
I am in charge of my own body. I decide if I want to be touched and by whom.
” She gave him a crooked smile. “I want to be touched by you.”
“Just so you know, this isn’t a rejection. I find you incredibly attractive and insanely desirable.” Rogue brushed a kiss across her lips. “I also know that men have treated you badly. I don’t want to rush into anything that could trigger harsh memories for you.”
“For your sake, we can take it slow,” she said. “I only ask one thing.”
His arms tightened around her. “Anything.”
“Hold me for a little while,” she said, pressing her cheek to his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. “It’s been a very long time since anyone has held me like they gave a damn about how I feel.”
He held her, rhythmically stroking her long hair, reveling in the silken softness. “The problem is that I want so much more,” he whispered against her hair.
“Same,” she sighed. “And I’m willing,” she reminded him. “But I’m also willing to wait until you’re ready.”
He chuckled. “I realize the irony in that. You’re the one who’s been through so much.”
They stood for a long time holding each other.
Finally, Keira sighed and pulled away. “I’m going to sleep now.
Thanks for the hug.” She started down the hallway and paused with her hand on the doorknob to the bedroom.
“I’m leaving the door open in case you change your mind and want to join me.
” Her gaze met his. Then she disappeared into the cave-like bedroom.
Rogue pushed a hand through his hair. His pulse pounded through his veins, and his groin tightened. He wanted to follow her, to hold her and make love to her.
He didn’t want to scare her or make her feel degraded for having sex with a man she hadn’t known that long.
A man who was there to protect her until they got to the bottom of the problems she and other members of Onyx faced.
After the situation was resolved, where would that leave them?
She should make love with a man who had her best interests at heart.
A man who would show her the love she so dearly craved and deserved.
A man who would stick around and help her transition into a better life.
Rogue wasn’t sure he was that man. He hadn’t married for a reason.
He’d never met a woman he’d felt close enough to commit to.
The man for Keira would have to be someone who didn’t just want sex.
He’d have to give her the love that should come with it—an unconditional love that didn’t judge her for her past or require her to be someone other than herself.
Rogue wasn’t sure he was that man. Of course, he would never judge her for what others had forced on her in the past. Nor would he hold it against her the things Onyx had brainwashed her into doing.
If he loved her, he’d be gentle with her and show her that making love wasn’t just having sex.
It was a partnership of pleasure that two people could give to each other—an expression of the depth of their commitment.
One thing was certain. He’d never met a woman like Keira. She was incredibly strong, skilled and determined. She didn’t need a man in her life. If she chose one, he’d have to be special. Someone she’d fight for. Someone she’d defend. Rogue hoped that man would do the same for her.
If he loved her, he would do that and more.
A thought flitted through the back of his mind like an echo in a cave.
Could he love her?