Chapter 18 #2
“This is my secret weapon.” He waves the watch at me. “This watch will monitor a Rogue Switch’s unique dynamic. It warns when our pheromones are rising. It will teach Rogues how to control our powers.”
I scowl. “You mean control us.”
Joker shakes his head. “How to give us self-control. Do you want your power to explode every time you Hulk out? Or do you want to be the one fully in control of whether your power heals, triggers ruts and heats for your pack, or is a weapon, but only when you need it to be?”
My heart is racing.
I stare at the watch like it is the answer to a prayer that I didn’t know I had been screaming at the heavens.
“You invented that…?” I whisper. “You’re a genius. In the wrong hands, however, it will be used as a way to control us. It could mark us. We will be forced to wear it.”
Joker’s face falls. “I know that. It’s why I have been holding back, improving it. Now, through it, you can even focus the Rogue Power onto certain people and not others, rather than it affecting everyone in the room.”
“You’re serious.”
“Deadly.”
“We’d become the most powerful people in the world.”
“They would never stop hunting us.” Joker lowers the watch onto the bench. “You see my dilemma. Why I haven’t finished refining this.”
And I do.
Rogues were always a threat. It’s why we have been hunted and burned.
With Joker’s invention, we could dominate the world.
On the other hand, it could make us even more feared than we already are.
Do we stand up and make ourselves seen, or hide away in the shadows pretending that we’re not a threat?
But that second option hasn’t worked for us before, has it?
All we want is to be accepted into society, then we won’t be a threat at all. After all, Alphas are dangerous, the soldiers of the world, yet they are the lauded leaders in society.
If people won’t accept us peacefully, then at least this invention will give us a chance to step into the light, before we are burned to ash.
I clench my jaw. “Rogues have tried to exist in peace for generations. It’s time to rise up and become the rebels. No one else is quietly dying. We’re not the good guys. Why act like we are now?”
Joker’s eyes brighten. “Now you sound like Phantom.”
I turn, leaning against the table. “Was he always…?”
“Hot? Annoyingly tall? A psycho?”
Awkwardly, I glance away. “I meant…”
“I know what you meant.” Joker leans next to me, and I feel the warmth of his hip against mine.
“It’s the impact of him avoiding most of his ruts for decades.
He’s asexual. He told me that I could share this about him with you.
At the start, he didn’t understand why he didn’t feel the same needs as I did, but even though he knew that he would lose his voice, he gained control of himself. ”
My stomach twists with sadness that, as Switch did, he found himself unable to talk.
Yet I understand.
Phantom is braver than I am. When he was only a teenager, he was prepared to give up his voice to accept who he was.
I am only just now accepting myself as a Rogue.
“He doesn’t need to speak to have a voice in this pack.” Joker casts me a sideways glance. “He communicates better than I do.”
“Can you teach Bird and me the hand signals? I want to be able to talk to him like you do.”
Joker twists, and suddenly, I am being kissed like Joker’s life depends on it.
I loop my arms around the Beta’s neck, allowing myself to enjoy the softness of his lips, and his experienced kissing.
Finally, I laugh, pushing Joker back. “What was that for?”
“Because you care about my Alpha.”
“Of course I do.”
“It seems that you show love differently, just like Phantom does.”
“Not that I’ll ever reject kissing, but I’m asking to learn hand signals and not giving him a bunch of roses.”
Joker’s smile is soft. “And he courted you with a pair of daggers. You’re well matched, baby. How about I teach Bird and you after lunch each day? You’ll have learned how he communicates by the end of the week. We use army signals.”
“Is the mask something to do with the military?”
Joker’s smile fades. “I wish that he wouldn’t wear it because he’s still as gorgeous as he ever was. But he loves that opera. Skipper is far more educated than me about shit like that because he’s an elite.”
“Phantom of the Opera?”
“He has tattoos from it as well. Phantom was his nickname already in the SEALs like Joker was mine. So, when Skipper got the scars, he bought the mask. He has a pitch-black sense of humor. Also, it worked to create an intimidating myth around him as a contract killer.”
“Scars?” Are they like mine?
I don’t have them on my face. But my body is covered in marks from the violent training and brutal life of both mob bodyguard and assassin.
Joker looks down. “That’s our past.”
I drag the Beta even closer against me. “How did you leave the SEALs?”
“You mean why did we run? Why are we AWOL?”
“I was trying to be polite.”
“I’ll mark this date in the diary.”
I mock growl, and he pretends to tremble.
Yet there is something dark in Joker’s past, which he is attempting to shield. It has left Phantom with scars on his face, while the Hunter pack has been forced to run from the SEALs and hide as bounty hunters.
What happened?
Are they safe now?
Joker takes a careful breath like he is deciding to tell me something that he’s held long inside.
“The reason we ran and the people who are hunting us now are connected. Phantom was always expected to go into the military by his dad, but I was a Beta. The first to become a SEAL. I was only accepted because of the influence of Phantom’s dad.
I still passed the tests, however, because I pushed myself to meet levels that broke most Alphas.
Still, it wasn’t enough for some of the Alphas like the Krakens, who hazed and bullied me throughout training.
It was Phantom who stood up for me. He didn’t need to.
He could have stood by and watched it happen.
Even though we’d been friends as kids. We weren’t lovers as adults or bonded.
It damaged his career. But he still protected me. ”
“He’s a good Alpha,” I say, realizing how true it is.
It would have made all the difference in the world if I’d had a friend like that in my corner.
Now, I realize that finally with these Hunters I may have someone who I can rely on.
Joker’s eyes gleam with pride. “He is. I think that I’d been falling for him for years.
But I can tell you the exact day that I knew I was in love with Phantom.
It was devastating because I needed to hide it.
I was terrified that as my best friend he would find out and hate me.
But it changed everything for me. Part of our training was to have weights strapped to our feet, then we would walk at the bottom of this freezing pool until we blacked out.
It was to train us out of the natural instinct to scramble to the surface. ”
“That’s crazy.”
“That’s being in the SEALS.” Joker shrugs.
“It went smoothly, until it came to my turn. The instructor was meant to dive in and drag each trainee to the surface. But he didn’t for me.
I still don’t know if the intention was for me to die accidentally as a trick to get rid of the Beta in the unit.
I just remember the terrifying panic of blacking out and then coming to with Phantom’s mouth on mine, as he desperately resuscitated me at the side of the pool.
He cradled me, furious and protective, as I came back from the edge of death.
No doctor was called. Nobody else helped.
It turns out that Phantom broke ranks and dived in to pull me out of the pool.
He saved my life that day. And I fell in love. ”
“He was a hero.”
“The SEALs didn’t see it that way.” Joker’s expression becomes anguished.
“He had disobeyed, and I had failed the training. We were both punished and made an example of. For the next month, we had to carry an extra heavy raft together everywhere we went. Fuck those assholes, because it bonded us. I already owed him my life and so much more. I had for years. When I was close to collapsing, he would push me to keep going. We had to run six miles carrying that fucking raft bouncing on our heads and crushing our necks, but we did it because we were together. I learned that as long as I was with Phantom, I could do anything. When we were together in a unit, we became the deadliest team, only challenged by the Krakens. That’s why we were put together on four-person missions with them. ”
“Maybe Phantom kept going because of you,” I reply. “Ever thought that he needed you there just as much as you needed him? You don’t risk your career and life for someone who doesn’t matter to you. What if he has loved you just as long as you have loved him?”
Joker stares at me in shock. “Are you a mentalist as well as a magician?”
“Nope, because mentalists are dicks.”
I relax when Joker laughs.
Then Joker kisses me, petal-soft. “Phantom has saved my life on more than one occasion. He does it without thinking like he did with Bird. He has given me everything, as a Beta and as an Omega, as a friend, and as a brother-in-arms. He’ll do the same for you, if you let him.
He has burned for me. And he will for you. ”