Chapter 19 #2
He makes a complex range of hand gestures.
Bird looks lost. “Sorry, I’m still learning. I’m not sure if that means you’re angry with me and are about to bite me…” He glances at the savaged pillow. “…and I’m about to end up like that savaged pillow, or…?”
“He may bite you in a good way.” I smirk. “He loved your singing. He says that you should be on a stage. A professional. You’re his Angel of Music.”
Bird’s head snaps up. “I’m only a Hotel Omega. You must know what that is. Officers in the military would spend their ruts in our hotels. I’m nothing special.”
Phantom flattens his palm over his heart.
You are to me.
Bird blushes. A small, pleased smile spreads across his face.
I forgive Phantom his primal Alpha moment for that. In fact, for making Bird feel worthy, I would forgive him almost anything.
Gently, Phantom wraps the towel around Bird. The towel is large enough to tuck around his entire body. I guess that it would need to be to dry Phantom.
Phantom turns and paces to the music system. He fiddles with the buttons for a moment, before he turns on the Phantom of the Opera. I am not surprised when he chooses the haunting “Angel of Music.”
Then he bows in front of Bird and holds out his hand like he’s an elite gentleman offering to dance with his Omega match at a ball.
I straighten.
Seeing Phantom like this, it truly strikes me that these two grew up as elites.
Joker and I were on the fringes of the elite world, merely looking in.
Phantom and Bird, on the other hand, started as the kids of the wealthy.
They were from a world of balls and singing lessons.
They expected that they would be matched with a pack at a courting ball, before living a pampered life.
But both were rejected from that world.
Is it harder to have never had that type of expectation? To have never been an elite? Or tougher to have lost the status? To know that you could be living within the world of billionaires and power, but instead, you’re hiding as an outlaw?
The question is why Phantom made that choice.
Bird smiles, purring.
He takes Phantom’s hand, delighted to be treated like an elite Omega.
My stomach twists.
I wish that I could cherish Bird like this. It should be enough that another Alpha in the pack can give him this experience.
I dig my nails into my palms, as Phantom pulls Bird to his chest. Then they dance together, and it’s fucking beautiful.
One may be only dressed in a towel, while the other may be wearing a sling. They make it work, however, and somehow, that makes it more touching than watching the best dancers at a ball.
Phantom and Bird both fall into step as easily as if they were made for this moment.
They are trained in ballroom dancing in the same way that I’m trained in boxing.
Bird rests his head on Phantom’s chest, and Phantom wraps his arm around Bird’s waist, as they waltz.
My mouth is dry.
I don’t understand the emotions that are rising up in me as I see them together.
They look like a perfect Alpha and Omega match.
I can sense Bird’s serenity through the bond.
What place do I have?
Do I fit between them? Can I be Phantom’s Omega and Bird’s scent matched Alpha?
They’re both mine.
Is wanting them…wanting to be with them like this forever…love?
I shake my head, needing to clear my thoughts.
I skirt past them, marching out of the room.
To my surprise, however, I stumble over Joker, who is silently watching the scene as well from the shadows of the doorway.
He turns and rushes away, before I can talk to him.
Is he upset?
I growl, wishing that I was bonded to Joker and could simply feel his emotions like I can Bird’s.
I understand the point of pack bonds now. It is much simpler when you can sense someone’s emotions and don’t need to try and work them out.
Joker is as guarded and complicated as I am.
I dive after Joker down the dim corridor, grabbing his shoulder and twisting him to face me.
Joker is dressed in his training pants and sweat dampened t-shirt from his workout.
“Fancy meeting you here, baby.” Joker attempts and fails to smile.
“Drop the act,” I bark. “They were dancing. Why did that upset you?”
“Why did it upset you?”
“Nice deflection. But I’m not afraid to answer. Phantom can cherish my Omega in a way that I can’t because I was never an elite. I need time to process that. Your turn.”
“Pass.”
When Joker tries to hide behind his tumble of hair, I don’t allow him to.
Gripping his chin, I force his head up, until he meets my eyes. “He burned for you, and you’re the one who wanted us in the pack the most.”
“Phantom is falling for Bird. He’s been obsessed with you from the moment that he…
stalked is a strong word.” Sadness ghosts across Joker’s expression.
“Part of me has always wondered if I wasn’t enough.
You know that I’ve loved Phantom for years, but I can’t help fearing that Phantom only bonded me out of duty. ”
Confused, I let go of his chin. “Why would he do that?”
Joker’s lips thin. “It doesn’t matter.”
He starts to turn away, but I snatch his shoulder and slam him into the wall. “You ask me to trust you. But you’re keeping secrets.”
“I can’t…” Joker’s gaze becomes tormented.
He’s trembling.
Concerned, I loosen my grip and stroke his hair. “I’m sorry, Jokes. This being gentle shit is new to me.”
“It’s not your fault.” Joker leans into my touch, rather than away.
“I want to tell you. It’s just that I’ve never spoken about this.
I never wanted to again. I tend to put the bad shit in a compartment labeled do not open in my mind, you know?
If I don’t speak about this, however, then it’s like our Rogue Powers.
It’ll burst out when I don’t want it to one day. ”
What has caused this intense reaction?
I force myself to give Joker space by leaning on the wall next to him.
His shoulders relax, and he takes steadying breaths.
He glances down, staring blankly into the air, rather than at me.
He appears to find this easier, as he explains, “I didn’t know that I was also a Rogue Switch like my sister, until I was on a mission, deep into enemy country.
I was alone with Phantom and the Krakens.
The Krakens are Viper and Reaper, bonded Alphas.
Then suddenly, this change came over me.
My scent changed, and my uniform became soaked in slick.
I was being pinned down by enemy fire, trapped in a tiny farmhouse with a four-person unit, half of whom had made my life hell with bullying for years, and I was panicking the fuck out because I had just turned into an Omega. ”
“Fuck,” I breathe.
I was born as a Rogue.
Tough as it was to live with that stigma, I never had to deal with the trauma of going through an unexpected change.
I definitely didn’t need to experience it in the middle of a battle.
“Yeah, fuck.” Joker’s expression darkens.
Dread curdles my stomach. “As Alphas, the Krakens were my superior officers like Phantom was. I was the lowest officer in the platoon, although I was the best shot and that granted me a place on the trickiest missions. I was never promoted, however, and I had to suck up being the punching bag. Yet the Krakens were different. They kicked me around, but they were also obsessive about it. Worse, on a number of nights, I had to fend off their advances. They were insistent that they were going to claim me as their pack bonded Beta, although I always made it clear that the answer was hell no.”
“They’re dead.” My voice is flat and hard.
“Then I transform into a honey smelling Omega, when the Alphaholes were already hyped up on the bloodlust of a mission.” Finally, Joker turns to me.
His eyes are suffused with pain. “I didn’t know how to control my Rogue Power.
It triggered their ruts and my heat. Only Phantom was able to resist it.
I was terrified. Vulnerable. The Krakens savagely tried to bite and claim me.
I was lost in a fog of my new pheromones, fevered in my heat.
Phantom fought the Krakens off to save me. Except, there was an explosion.”
“His scars.”
Joker’s eyelashes glitter with tears. “My skipper truly did burn for me. He still managed to carry me out of that burning farmhouse, before fighting his way free of enemy territory to safety. Yet we hadn’t completed the mission, and I was now outed as a Rogue.
We both knew because of my sis what that meant…
what was going to happen to me. So, we went AWOL.
We ran and we’ve never stopped running. But as much pain as Phantom was in with his burns, he prioritized me over his medical needs.
He saw me through that first, agonizing heat, saving my life again.
Then he bit and bonded me because it was the only way to get my powers under control.
I’ve always had this little voice, however, in the back of my mind: Did he truly want me?
What if Bird is the type of Omega who Phantom would have chosen, rather than a rough solider like me? Not a Rogue?”