Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
A knock on the window jolts me awake, the hoodie I’d balled up to use as a pillow in the car’s passenger seat half-strangling me. Disentangling myself, I squint through the window.
Great.
I crack the door and swing my legs out, rubbing at my eyes as the heat of the day slams into me. “Everything okay?”
Dane crosses his arms like this is about to be some kind of tactical meeting. “Have you already booked your flight to Canada?”
I glance at my watch. Still early. “No. I figured I’d grab one at the airport.” What I don’t say is that I was kind of—maybe, definitely—hoping to wait until Alaina figured out hers so I could get on the same plane as her.
“Our dad chartered the jet for us.” Dane shifts on his heels.
“Seriously?” I blink. “He did that?”
“Yeah. He’s trying. I told him about her plans, and I think it hit him in the chest. Maybe it scared him enough to actually show up this time.”
I stare at him for a beat, my sleep-drunk brain trying to catch up. “And how do we feel about that?”
Dane sighs. “I don’t know. Honestly? If it helps her and gives her something to lean on, I’m all in. I won’t complain about not having to fly coach for ten hours either.”
“Fair enough.”
It’s weird, talking to him like this. Easy, even. But then Dane narrows his eyes and jerks his chin toward the car. “We’re leaving in ten. You riding with us or?”
Wait. “What?”
“Don’t look at me like that.” Dane sighs. “Al wanted me to ask if you wanted to fly with us. I don’t care if you paddle over there in that thing. I’m pretty sure it’ll swim better than it drives.”
I glance at the sad hunk of metal I’ve been calling home and grimace, but my brain is still stuck on the part that doesn’t compute.
Alaina wanted me to come with them?
She could’ve said nothing. Could’ve just let me show up separately and meet them there. But she didn’t.
“Yeah,” I say, a little too fast. “Yeah, I’ll ride with you. Just need to grab my stuff. I’ll leave the car here. Not like I’ll get lucky enough for someone to steal it.”
“You’ve really been living out of this rusty piece of shit the whole week?”
“Hey.” I grab my backpack and duffel from the back seat. “It’s not that bad. Better than that one time we got locked out of the hotel in France and had to sleep on those patio chairs.”
His mouth twitches like he wants to smile at the memory, but won’t give me the satisfaction. “Get in the bus and grab a shower before we leave. I’m not flying in a small fucking cabin with you smelling like this.”
“Noted.” I grab the last bag and reach for my BMX but then hesitate. I can’t bring it on the jet, but can I leave it here?
“Bring it. We have room.” Dane grumbles, then turns and walks off.
I sling everything over my shoulder before following him across the lot toward the bus.
The doors open when we get there, and the second I step up into the cool interior, my heart stutters.
She’s here.
Alaina is curled up sideways on the bench by the kitchenette, knees tucked under her, one arm draped across the top cushion. Her headphones are in, hair still damp as she sips an energy drink I’d kill for right now.
She glances up as I climb in and smiles, tugging one earbud out. “Morning.”
Her voice is still sleep-warm, and it does stupid things to my chest.
“Morning,” I say, trying not to sound like a breathless teenager. “Can I grab one of those?”
She eyes the can, then lifts a brow. “Since when do you ask and not just help yourself?”
“Fair.” I grab one from the small refrigerator without waiting for further permission. The can hisses when I crack it open, and I down the whole thing in one go. Cold, carbonated adrenaline burns down my throat and kicks me awake on the way down.
“Fuck yes.”
“You’re acting like an addict,” she comments with a grin before taking another sip of her own.
“Maybe I am. Just not sure if it’s the caffeine or the company.”
It slips out before I can stop it, and her lips part in surprise. For a few breaths, something soft flickers between us, but then she looks away first, setting her can down. “Bathroom’s free if you need it.”
“Right.” I duck past her, the duffel strap biting into my shoulder. “Thanks for letting me come.”
“Always.”
I pause, my hand on the bathroom door. She’s not looking my way, but my damn heart still kicks at the word.
The shower is fucking cold, and I shiver while I scrub the sleep and the nerves off my skin before I brush my teeth under the spray and try to slow my racing thoughts.
Should I have said something more?
Told her I’ve missed her?
By the time I step out in fresh clothes, the bus is chaos.
Piper is at the mini-refrigerator, arguing with Jim over what snacks to bring. Otis is rummaging in his suitcase. Mason has his arms crossed, listening to something Luc is saying, and Dane is in the driver’s seat, shouting for someone to grab the GPS coordinates.
But Alaina is still where I left her, Toulouse climbing over her shoulder now. I murmur a quick “Hey” to everybody before sliding onto the bench across from her. I rest my head against the cool window, which rattles as Dane pulls away from the gravel lot, but I’m not looking at the view.
“What are you listening to?”
Without a word, she reaches out and offers me one earbud. I lean forward and take it, slipping it in to hear the start of Sum 41’s “With Me.”
I glance at her, but she’s already looking out the window again, her beautiful profile framed by the blur of trees rushing past. For a moment, it’s just her and me and this stupid, perfect song we both know way too well.
Luc flops down beside her and casually drapes an arm over her shoulders.
Toulouse makes the trek from her to him, while Luc keeps chatting with Mason across the aisle.
He’s laughing about something, but I don’t take my eyes off Alaina.
She blinks slowly, lashes brushing her cheeks, and her lips part slightly as the next verse kicks in.
Way too soon, I have to give the earbud back as Dane parks the bus in a secured hangar lot, and we file out toward the waiting jet. The heat is already climbing, sun beating down as the jet door opens with a hiss and a set of polished steps unfolds.
Luc whistles low. “Fancy.”
Mason mutters something about champagne and stitches.
Piper pretends to swoon as Jim groans and trudges up with his duffel like a war vet heading into battle.
Alaina’s hair catches in the breeze as she laughs at something Dane says before she climbs up the steps without a second glance, and I follow.
She wanted me here, and if I were holding out for a sign that maybe she’s letting me back in, this might be it.
The interior is all comfort, with cream leather and polished everything. And when we’re in the air, twenty minutes later, two stewardesses are asking us for the fifth time if we’re all set.
Across from me, Piper is already asleep on Dane’s shoulder, her blonde hair falling over her cheek.
He’s pretending not to smile each time she shifts and makes one of those soft, contented sounds, and it makes me happy to see.
Jim is passed out on the front bench, snoring, but my eyes are across the aisle on Alaina.
She’s leaning into Luc’s side, with Otis and Mason opposite them.
Her feet are up in Mason’s lap, and he has one hand holding her ankle.
They’re all laughing, loudly, over something I can’t hear.
Whatever it is, though, it’s got Alaina full-body laughing, with her head thrown back, dimples on display, and no trace of pain in her face.
It does dangerous things to my heart.
Dane clears his throat. “You say you love her.” My gaze shifts to him, and he holds it for a second before he’s drawn back to Piper. “But how do you know it’s love?”
I sit with that for a second, then a little longer, because it deserves more than a quick answer.
“My ex-fiancée once got really sick,” I say finally. “It was a bad flu, and I had to take care of her for days. Which I did, obviously, but I remember sitting on the edge of the bed one night, watching her suffer, and thinking, Thank God it’s not me.”
Dane lifts his eyebrows at me.
“But with Alaina…” I shake my head. “Every time I see her in pain, I just wish it were me instead. I’d do anything to take that hurt from her. I’d carry it all if I could.”
Dane turns his eyes to Piper again.
“If you’re asking because you don’t know what you’re feeling…” I say softly, angling my head toward Piper. “It’s obvious you’re in love with her. I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“It’s hard to keep my head in the game,” he murmurs. “I feel guilty because I can’t focus on Alaina the way I should. She’s always needed me, and I’m still here, but I’m… split.”
I nod slowly. “You’ve had her back her whole life. I know, I was there. But you need to know she wants you happy. I can promise you that.”
His jaw works as he thinks through it, and I nudge his sneaker with mine.
“Relax a little. Rest. I’ve got her back. The same way you feel about Piper, that’s how I feel about Alaina.”
“I won’t ever not have her back.”
“I know that, but the fact that there are three other guys in her life now, guys who want her whole and happy, who make it their mission every damn day, should help with the guilt.”
“You’re not bothered? About both of them being with her?” He makes a face. “Because I sure as fuck am.”
“A few weeks ago, our biggest concern was whether she was going to survive this, and now we’re worried she’s got too many guys who care about her?” I laugh, low and a little bitter under my breath. “I think I’m fine with that.”
It’s not that simple, and it eats at me that I had weeks to say what I should have.
I let her walk away from me because I was too scared of what it meant to want her, too loyal to Dane.
I told myself I was protecting her, that it wasn’t my place, and now I watch her lean into someone else’s touch, hear her laugh because of someone else’s words, and it feels like a punch and a blessing all at once.
Dane snorts just as another bright laugh bursts from Alaina’s chest, and I can’t help it, my lips pull into a grin because God, that sound.
“Whatever makes her laugh like that,” I murmur, more to myself than to him, “I’m on board.”
Even if it’s not just me, and even if she chooses all of us.
The fact that she might still choose me at all?
That she hasn’t shut that door after everything I did and didn’t say.
And that’s more than I deserve.
Dane looks at me a little longer this time. “You do love her.”
“You know I do, and I love you, too, like a brother.”
He arches a brow. “Didn’t you once say you loved her like a sister?”
“Things change.”
“But a punch to the face didn’t change you loving me like a brother?”
There’s something raw in the way he asks it. Not anger, but honesty, and maybe a little shame, as if he wants things to be okay between us again, but maybe isn’t quite ready for that yet.
“I deserved it, and like you said, we’ve been through hell, but we’re still here.”
Silence stretches, and I think that the conversation is done, but then Dane whispers, “What you said in the hospital.” I look up at him, but he doesn’t meet my eyes.
“I’m sorry I left you all those years ago.
I was hurting and didn’t know what to do, but you were right, I should’ve picked up the damn phone.
I needed you. I just didn’t know how to say it. ”
I swallow around the knot that rises in my throat. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I fell in love with your little sister.”
He huffs a laugh through his nose. “I think I can get over that, as long as you keep doing what you’re doing.”
I lean forward, listening intently. “Which is?”
“Looking out for her. The finger guard? That shit was genius. You saved her season, probably more.”
“I’m just trying to make things right.”
“She knows, and I do too.” He stretches his arm behind Piper and closes his eyes briefly, like he’s letting something heavy go. “Alaina said you ended your career.”
Fuck.
We always said we’d stop together. We used to joke about it, retiring the same year, throwing a party, ditching the jerseys, and starting our own team. We said we’d build something.
But he stopped without me.
And now I’ve stopped without him.
That space between us, the years, the fallout, and the silence, it’s damn hard to put any of it into words, so I just nod.
“Because of her?”
I run a hand over my jaw.
Damn, I need to shave.
“It was time. That ending was overdue for a while now, but, yeah, she may have been the key factor.”
He nods like he understands more than he says. “So what now?”
I lean back, eyes drifting out the window. “I’ve got a plan, and I’m gonna do everything I can to make it real.”
He tilts his head. “What kind of plan?”
I smile at the thought of it. “I’ve got two juniors at home. A brother and sister I’ve been training for the past couple of years. Good kids. Better than good. They’ve got the fire.”
Dane’s eyes spark with interest. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that?”
“I don’t know. The timing never felt right, but I’m gonna introduce you when we’re in Mont-Sainte-Anne. You’ll love them. They train like hell, and their dream is to get to the circuit. My dream is to get them there.”
“And what’s keeping you from it?”
“Sponsors.” I frown, remembering the bitter disappointments. “I had one on the hook already, almost signed, but they bailed, said I wasn’t big enough to carry their name.”
“Fuckers.” He huffs. “Okay, so now you’re looking for other sponsors? How are you pitching that? Do you have a finance plan, a budget, a training plan?”
“Yeah, I’ve got everything. Did some seminars and shit.”
“Show me.”
“What?”
“Show me your pitch. The plans. Budget, projections, all of it.” Dane levels me with a serious look.
“I studied finance, man. I know my way around analyzing and running numbers. I know what a good rider schedule looks like from years of doing this shit, and in case you forgot…” He smirks.
“I also manage a world-class rider. Heard of him?”
“Right.” I laugh, despite myself. “That Allen Crews guy.”
He grins. “Exactly.”
I pull my laptop from my backpack, open the folder, and pass it over. “Knock yourself out.”
Dane sets it across his lap, clicking through the files. “Huh.” His voice is thoughtful. “This is actually pretty damn impressive.”
“Thanks.”
“You really want this,” he murmurs, and it’s not a question.
I glance at Alaina again.
“More than almost anything.”
Dane clicks on something and frowns. “There are a few things we could clean up in here. Streamline the numbers. Make your sponsor pitch tighter.”
I raise an eyebrow. “We?”
“Yeah, we. Don’t look so shocked. Show me the plan, Greer, I’ll help you make it happen.”