6. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Mila
What just happened? Holding tight to Sterling’s wide shoulders, my mind drifts through the bliss and chaos. I don’t dare get out, in case Josh pushes past Rutherford.
I wish I could say that my body’s shaking right now because of my first orgasm on a cock. Instead, I’m shaky and nauseous from almost getting caught… by Josh, no less. How did we miss the sound of an engine when he arrived, or his car door?
Rutherford, in his birthday suit, which is a bit ironic since it’s Sterling’s birthday, is getting rid of Josh. I can’t imagine what Josh is thinking.
My mind is all twisted. Josh wants to get back together? He realizes his mistake? Not sure I’m going to fall for that. He probably wants something… The question is, what? Losing my best friend was the hardest part of the breakup. That betrayal will sting forever.
But what is he thinking right now after getting run off by his dad’s naked roommate? Josh would have recognized the bathing suit his dad has worn for at least the last five years. Would it occur to him that his dad is sharing a woman? Not that we actually… geez, what did we do?
Sterling came inside of me. His tip is still lodged inside of me. Which means his cum is too. I shouldn’t be fine with this. He shouldn’t be fine with this.
I don’t have to finish my nursing classes to understand the consequences of unprotected sex.
Christ! We willingly had unprotected sex… if ‘just the tip’ counts. It does. And I’m frozen in his arms, kind of hoping… No! This is wrong.
I need to stop my thoughts. My actions. I’m one heartbeat away from a total freakout. And one overeager sperm away from a baby. The nausea doubles down.
The second the sound of Josh’s car fades into the distance, I shove out of Sterling’s arms, doing the best I can to hide my panic. “That was close.”
He tries to pull me back but I grab the edge of the hot tub and fling myself onto the deck. It’s not graceful. My wet foot slips and I stumble, landing face down.
Sterling is at the edge of the tub, leaning over, reaching for me. “You okay?”
“Yep.” I stand, attempting to shove my clingy hair over my shoulder. A deranged appearance is the least of my problems.
Rutherford rounds the corner. “I got rid of him. No need to—”
“I’d like to go home now.”
Sterling jumps out. I’ll attribute his perfect landing to practice. “Don’t leave. We just—”
Waving him off, I grab a towel. “I don’t need it explained. What we did was…” I’m not sure where I was going with that. The nausea has turned to word vomit. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Sterling’s expression changes to worry. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t let Josh make you think otherwise.”
Things were wrong before Josh showed up… Weren’t they? Securing the towel around my body, I need to escape. “A lot happened. I need time.”
Sterling catches my hand, and when I try to pull away, he tightens his grip. “Do you want to patch things up with him?”
Do I? Could we go back to just being friends? I bet that sex with his dad would nix that option. Being best friends with your stepmom isn’t cool.
Oh shit, where is my brain going?
“I really need to get home.”
“What do you want me to do?” Sterling takes a step back, his tone flat. “Apparently, I have to figure out what advice to give him.”
I take a second. After the way my professors looked at me and made me feel tonight, I know that I need more than Josh can give. “Josh and I are done. But thank you for letting me decide.” Uneasiness washes over me. Am I just a night of fun to Sterling? “Would you really be okay if I got back together with him?”
“Hell no. But parents make sacrifices.”
I don’t quite know what to do with that. Sterling just put his cum in me then told me I’m not the priority in his life. His son will always have a special place. I’m just… a birthday present. With a quick mental shake, I head to the door. Expectations should have been removed with our clothes.
The light of day and the university setting leave me vulnerable. Did Sterling or Rutherford brag to other professors? Have rumors started? Do other students know how foolish I am?
Belova walks up beside me as I pause by the back row in the classroom. “Hi, Mila.”
She continues to the front of the class, then turns. “What’s going on? Aren’t you coming?”
If I make Sterling’s class weird today, it’s going to be weird forever. I join her in the second row where we normally sit. I’ll show Professor Sterling that I can handle what happened.
He takes his place at the podium. His eyes glance in my direction and linger a moment too long.
“What was that?” Belova nudges me.
“What?”
“Did the dare pay off? I saw you and—”
“Shhh.” I shake my head. “I did my part, you did yours. The dare’s over.”
“Did you at least have fun?”
“Yes,” I say curtly, to get her to drop it. I had the most fun of my life.
My phone vibrates. Belova reaches for hers. A campus-wide alert cancelling classes would be well-timed, but we’re the only two students reaching for our phones.
It’s Beatrix. She’s offering her camgirl expertise to teach anyone on the Hot Rollers derby team how to take sexy photos. Her text specifically points out that we can do these for ourselves.
Hmmm… After feeling sexy last night, I’d like more of that feeling. I let her know that I’m in. Belova raises her eyebrows at me as my reply vibrates her phone.
“For myself,” I whisper.
Professor Sterling’s voice is our cue to put our phones away. “We’re going to deviate from the syllabus today and talk about risks.”
No one cares. Except me. Where is he going with this?
He continues, “We’re navigating risks all the time, whether at home, work, or play… or even sitting right here in this classroom.”
A few students mumble jokes about going home if it’s too risky to sit in class. I’m too self-conscious to find it funny. Am I imagining that his sweeping gaze spends a little too long on me?
“So, let’s explore different types of risks. Take, for instance, falls. Most of the time, they’re not a big deal. Get back up and pretend you meant to do it, right?”
A few chuckles sound out.
“Other times, you fall hard. You can’t just get back up. Your fate is in someone else’s hands.”
“Are we talking about patients?” a student asks.
“Could be a patient. Could be you. Could be me.” His damn gaze flits to me again. “Has anyone in here ever fallen?”
Hands raise. Sterling’s gaze stops on the one person who didn’t raise her hand—me. “Have you fallen , Mila?”
Belova whispers, “Plenty of falls on the roller derby track.”
Yeah, but his tone tells me he’s talking about something else. I take a breath and tell myself to quit reading things into his words. Yes, I fell for his son. I fell for him. But I shove that nonsense aside and raise a hand. “Everyone has.”
“But have you fallen hard? Had to turn to someone else to pick you up?”
Snickers ripple through the classroom. At face value that was worth a giggle. But I can’t believe he’s calling me out.
“Roller derby will do that to you.”
“Good point. Sometimes we choose behaviors that increase our risk. We take chances even though we know the risks. Like you and… roller derby. You participate even though you know you could fall.”
I shrug. Why won’t he leave me alone?
“Which leads to our next risk… pain. Who in here has faced a choice where some of the possible outcomes involve pain, and decided the risk was worth it?”
Slowly, hands raise. Again, pretty much everyone. I raise mine to avoid being singled out.
He continues, “Isn’t it interesting that when we weigh the benefits and consequences, we can hope for the benefit so much that we accept the pain of the consequence?”
A few students offer thoughts related to nursing, like certain patients trying to walk without assistance. I’m grateful. But all too soon, he’s offering the next situation.
“We can’t weigh pros and cons for anyone but ourself. So, in situations where another person assumes risk, whether we’re at work, at home, or at play, we need to keep communication open and respect their decision.”
Oh no! He won’t go there, will he? Am I prematurely panicking that this is about sex? Running out of the class right now would be a poor choice. The risk of drawing attention to myself is too high. So, if that campus-wide alert could ping through all of our phones right now, I’d really appreciate Professor Sterling not having the chance to finish this thought.
“I’m going to shift topics slightly. I’m not asking for anyone to raise their hand, but I want you to take it seriously. Let’s talk about risk and sex—more specifically, unprotected sex. I promise not to preach. You’re nursing students so you’re more aware than the average person of those risks. But when things get personal, sometimes we shy away from big conversations. That doesn’t stop biology.”
I’m waiting for his gaze to land on me. It doesn’t. But it’s clear that he’s as conscious about what happened as I am. At least he’s not in denial. Yet.
For the first time ever, I’m relieved that the class clown breaks the tension. “Did someone in here get knocked up, and you’re trying to subtly remind us all to double glove?”
Or stay single. Or just not fuck your ex’s dad. So many choices.
But presented with the same situation… I’d do it all over again. I can’t deny how much I feel for my professors.