Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
Ed
"Have you got any biscuits, dear boy?" asks Carlos as I place his tea in front of him.
With rents being on the exorbitant side of unreasonable in this part of Devon and my salary being on the unreasonable side of insulting, my kitchen is roughly the square footage of my welcome mat.
So, with six grown adults crowded around the table and jammed into the corners, things are more than a little cosy.
When I open the cupboard to grab a packet of ginger nuts, Elly is able to lean forward from where she's standing and reach over me to select the packet of chocolate Hobnobs instead.
“Pickie,” says Jackson and reaches for them with pudgy hands.
“Soon, lovely boy,” says Elly, passing me the packet. “We need a plate first.”
Jackson lets out a small cry of protest, but seems to accept the logic of proper biscuit etiquette.
With it being summer, us packed in like sardines, and the prospect of the forthcoming uncomfortable conversation, the temperature has risen to a sticky thirty-two degrees in the tiny room.
"How about you bully me in the back garden?" I suggest.
As Jeanette protests that bullying is not the intention, and Elly retorts that it absolutely is and everyone here knows it, we shuffle off into the cool of the evening air in my marginally bigger back yard.
Were it not for the converted shed I use as an office-cum-writing space, there'd be more than enough space for all of us.
Jackson happily explores, biscuit in hand.
"So, my love," says Jeanette. "To begin with, we know you have objections about writing the letters, which we understand. Don't we?"
She looks at the others who nod back.
"All of us have the same concerns. Some of us more than others." She laughs and throws a look at Mistral, who looks suitably contrite.
"But," says Elly, "it's worked so unbelievably, incredibly well."
"Better than we could have hoped for," adds Mistral who gets shushed by Jeanette.
"Lutek," says Elly, "can you please remind Mistral she's lucky to even be here with us and her only job is decoration?"
"Oh, um."
"Don't worry, Lutek," says Mistral. "I heard her." She mimes zipping her mouth closed.
"As I was saying," says Jeanette, who offers Mistral a version of her smile-frown, "it's worked to raise the profits of the gallery to a level we never dreamed of."
I should be stopping them right there. Telling them to drink their tea and go, but I need – I want – to get the full picture, because I want what's best for Bess.
And right now Bess thinks the best thing is to make lots of money so she has options for ensuring the community is protected.
"Bess says profit is at five hundred percent. "
"Yes," says Jeanette, beaming. "Right?"
Lutek nods.
"So...what does that mean for all of you?" I ask.
Elly says, "I can put some decent money into paying off my student loan.
I'm earning eighty percent of my café salary on top of my actual café salary, so if it keeps up, I’ll finally be debt free in another few months.
I might even be able to save for a house deposit for me and Jacks.
I mean –" she looks around the rest of the group.
"– how can this not offer a way out of this mess? "
The warm tea in my stomach turns cold. This is so much bigger than Bess.
What they're asking of me allows something life-changing to happen to all of the artists represented by the gallery.
It's going to make it very difficult to look them in the eye and say, "Sorry, guys. It's still a 'no' from me."
"I'm just not sure we could do anything else that's more ethically sound that would make this much difference to the books," says Lutek quietly and when Lutek offers his thoughts, it's usually well-thought through thoughts. Which means I should probably pay attention to them.
Everyone nods solemnly.
"The art of being unethical to get what you want is a wide spectrum," says Carlos. "You're thinking of using a dainty brush, to fill the subtle highlights perhaps. But plenty of people use a roller or just throw the paint at the canvas and get away with it. I have. Many times."
"That was a very profound metaphor, Carlos," says Jeanette, by which she means, "A rare moment of lucidity."
It absolutely was, though I'm not sure I like what he's encouraging.
Carlos then ruins it by saying, "After I intercepted an assassination attempt in Paris on Princess Margaret, she asked how she could ever thank me enough. I suggested a tumble on the four-poster. Never had a royal notch on my bedpost, you see."
"You did not bang Princess Margaret," says Elly.
"I did. Several times in fact. She was a beautiful lady. And particularly energetic for a woman in her fifties."
"I...literally don't know how to process that information," says Mistral.
"There's nothing to process," says Elly. "It didn't happen."
Carlos sniffs. "It did. I've got a record of all the details." He taps his temple.
"Okay, so," says Mistral. "Moving on. You were all in the middle of trying to convince Ed he should write more letters and he was in the middle of probably saying 'no'."
"But he can't," says Jeanette.
"I can and I have. More than once."
"But Theodore's said he'll now consider a buy out."
I straighten from my hands-in-pocket slouch. "What? When?"
"Just today," says Elly. "It's one of the reasons why we're here."
Lutek says, "Bess, or all of us, need to either raise enough of a deposit, or have a record of a continuous high income to get a bank to lend the money. Probably both."
"And the income being generated off the back of the letters is allowing that to happen," says Jeanette. "Don't you see?"
I do see. It doesn't make me any more comfortable or okay with doing what needs to be done, however.
"We need to keep the financial momentum," says Elly.
"My love." Jeanette places a hand on my arm. "We wouldn't ask you if we felt there was any other way. You do know that, right?"
Elly adds, "Ed, she couldn't have made it clearer she's willing to do anything to secure the art community's future. Your conscience can rest easy."
Nobody says anything after that. They just look at me. The desperation and hope on their faces is very loud in the quiet evening air.
"Look," I say on a sigh. "I will consider, and let me stress consider, doing it if I am sure Bess is still sincere about that approach."
"That's good," says Lutek.
"Well, go on and ask her, then," says Elly.
I reluctantly take out my phone and thumb a message to her:
Just bumped into Elly. She says Theo might be up for a buyout. Are you still needing a 'whatever it takes' approach?
Then pocket it again.
Jackson climbs onto his mother’s lap and settles against her to eat another biscuit.
Elly kisses the top of his head and says, "So, your main objections are: being exposed as the letter writer, Bess discovering you actually meant them and it getting all weird if she doesn't return your feelings.
And the big one – us all keeping the truth from her and upsetting her when the truth comes out. "
"Yes."
"Can I just say," says Lutek quietly, "they're pretty reasonable objections."
"Lutek," Elly hisses. "Do you want to convince Ed to do this or not?"
"I feel, you know, a bit conflicted."
"Understandably," I say.
"Alright," says Jeanette. "But can I just say it was a beautiful letter, Ed? None of us could have written anything as heartfelt and as faithful to the first letter."
"And can I just say, none of you needed to? There is the option of not actually going down this road."
"I'm not sure you believe that anymore, Ed," says Elly.
"And to be honest, it's too late for that," says Mistral.
Both Elly and Jeanette shush her this time.
"Well it's true," she continues in a rush.
"It's fully out of the box now. There's no putting it back in.
And people want more. She's reaching several million viewers per letter video and making tens of thousands of pounds off the back of them.
If we change tactic, she loses all that momentum, and probably all that reach. The only way is forward."
"At all costs," says Carlos. "Like that Tennyson poem."
"'The Charge of the Light Brigade'?" I venture.
"That's the blighter."
"Don't all the soldiers die?" asks Jeanette.
Carlos strokes his moustache. "Well yes. I suppose they do."
"Right." Elly claps her hands.
Jackson jumps.
"In more useful news, there's a whole server hosting the masses of positive comments about the letter mystery.
" She thumbs her phone screen. "Listen to this one: 'An historical love puzzle?
Gimme gimme gimme!'. Or this one: 'This is better than anything currently streaming.
Hollywood are you listening? I take your Severance is the GOAT of twenty-first century TV and raise you a real-life wartime love letter mystery.
When's the next instalment?'." She looks up at me with an expression last seen on The Empress of Smug.
I turn my back on them and face the fence to give myself some space to think without all of them looking at me expectantly.
I can't think. It's too much. It's too much to think about if it all goes right and both Bess and I get what we want. It's definitely too much to think about if it all goes wrong.
When I don't turn around in response to Jeanette's, "Ed, my love?", she says, "If you don't help us – Bess – with this, you're what? Just going to keep your friendship going indefinitely? Watch her live her life for the rest of yours, suffocating in the misery of unreciprocated love –"
I do turn around at that. "Steady on."
"– and just wait until she falls in love with someone else? Because she will, despite her protestations. She's going to meet someone."
"Yes. That's exactly the life I have imagined for myself. Except for the watching her fall in love with someone else part. I try very hard not to think about that happening."
"The way I personally see it," says Mistral.
"There are two possibilities here. Bess will never see you in a romantic light and if she hates you after this, then you haven't actually lost a future together with her anyway.
Or because of your beautiful letters, she realises she's been in love with you this whole time and you can bang happily into the sunset. "
Elly clucks her tongue. "Lutek, tell Mistral to shut up, and that there's actually a third option irrespective of her feelings about Ed. One we're all banking on."
Lutek sensibly says nothing.
"Exactly." Jeanette beams, totally unreasonably. "The option where Bess understands after she's worked through her emotional response."
"I think Bess will see reason," says Lutek. "If we can raise enough to secure a mortgage, she'll quickly come around. It'll be worth it in the long run."
"And yes, there might be a bit of pain in the short run, but it will work out, Ed," says Jeanette, then adds with a wholly misplaced titter, "You don't even have to tell her you meant the sentiment in the letters if you don't want to."
Good. Because I absolutely won't and no amount of coordinated puppy-dog looks in my own home will make me.
But there's something else they need to think about. "You need to be aware that not only do I hate the idea of lying and to Bess of all people, I'm...also very bad at it."
"I'm happy to give you lessons in the art of deception, dear boy," says Carlos.
I open my mouth to protest and he continues, "Here's my number one tip: act doddery and confused. No one will pay you a blind bit of notice. You'll fool anybody."
"I can see one problem with your technique, Carlos. I'm thirty-two. I'm not sure it's going to be quite as effective when I do it. But I appreciate the tip."
“You know what?” says Mistral. “I’ll continue to place the letters and organise the clues as to who the supposed letter writer was. You don’t have to think about that part, Ed. None of you do.”
Lutek nods and I never had any doubt Mistral would somehow worm her way back into a position of orchestration.
My phone vibrates. I take it out and read Bess' message:
Yes. Fingers crossed the money coming is enough, but banks can be difficult. I'll do anything. ANYTHING. Unethical – yes. Illegal – maybe. #whateverittakes!
My stomach sinks and I look up at their faces.
They all look back at me and every single one of them is wearing a goddamn, heart-string-pulling expression of hope.
Well is the first word that comes to mind.
Fuck is the second.
I guess I'm writing more letters, then.